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The Devil Has a Funny Sense of Humor
by RudyKelly
on Jul 3, 2009 11:44 PM PDT
3 comments
So I was at the Dodger game tonight, blindly cheering for Manny while some asshole behind me yells "DODGERS!!!" for the 2,185th time, when a little guy with a pitchfork and some horns popped up on my shoulder. He asked me if I wanted a high-scoring left winger while giving up only Kyle Quincey. I was skeptical, him being the Devil and all, but I eventually said sure. I mean, he's just the Devil, what could he do? Then I checked my phone.
Goddammit.
Ryan Smyth is a Los Angeles King. Ryan Smyth. Ryan. Smyth. R. Y. A. N. S. M. Y. T. H. Jesus Christ. When I found out, I swear to God that I could barely breathe. I was at Petco Park, watching Manny Ramirez in his first game back from my suspension, and all I could think about was that big nose pulling on a Kings' jersey. It made me sick. I felt like how Freddy Prinze, Jr. felt in She's All That when he found out his girlfriend was dating Matthew Lillard.If you aren't a frequent reader of this blog, I should probably let you know that I despise Ryan Smyth. He is my El Guapo. If I had 2 bullets and were in a room with Ryan Smyth, Spencer Pratt and the douche bag guy from Die Hard ("Hans. Boobie. I'm your white knight."), I'd shoot Ryan Smyth twice. I hate his stupid face, I hate his style of play, I hate this faux-tough label that people have bestowed upon him, and I hate his stupid face. Hate hate hate. And now this guy is a Los Angeles King. Fuck me in the goat ass.
The worst part, and I mean the worst part, is that it actually kind of makes sense to me in the ivory tower part of my brain. The Kings have plenty of cap room for the next two years, they needed a left winger, and they have enough defensemen that they could afford to lose one, even a good young player like Kyle Quincey. They can probably trade Smyth when he has a year left on his deal, so I'm not worried about that. He gives us a good go-to guy on the power play and puts our offense back in the top half of the league. Our top 6 is now:
Smyth-Kopitar-Williams
Frolov-Stoll-Brown
That's pretty good. But why did it have to be Ryan Smyth? Why couldn't it be, I don't know, Mussolini or Orlando Bloom or someone I hate less? I don't even know what to do. The Kings are my favorite thing in the whole wide world and now they're inextricably linked to the a douche bag that I hate. I can't possibly cheer for the man, can I? No, I won't. I refuse. I will not cheer for him. I will cheer for the Kings, I will love the Kings, but I won't cheer for him. I won't root for his death like I have in the past (although I admit that my first immediate thought was, "Fuck, I wish the Ducks hadn't traded Pronger now,"), but I won't cheer for him.
Fuck. This is going to be hard.
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Rudy is NOT going to be happy
by jamestobrien
on Jul 3, 2009 8:28 PM PDT
8 comments
I don't have a ton of time for this, but I thought I'd get the ball rolling since nothing is up here right now.
Apparently, Ryan Smyth has been trading to the Los Angeles Kings.
My analysis: Bwahahahaha. More from RK and CO. to follow, as the trade details have yet to be hashed out. (H/T to Fear the Fin's Twitter page, heh).
Here's what Rudy wrote about Ryan Smyth for CLS:
1. Which player, for the love of God, do you NOT want to see in your team's sweater in the 09-10 season?
Ryan Smyth. He's a potential for movement since the Avalanche are going to be about as competitive as James O'Brien at the Playboy Mansion but I despise him with every fabric of my being. I hate him. I'd rather see my own birth from the doctor's perspective than have Ryan Smyth in a Kings' jersey. Also, I don't particularly like Mike Cammalleri and wouldn't want to be the idiot team that pays him $6 million dollars to shoot from his knees.
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Happy Chris Pronger Day, Anaheim!
by Earl Sleek
on Jul 3, 2009 7:29 AM PDT
6 comments
Three years ago today I posted this:
Anaheim changes name to "Norris Ducks"
This is unbelievable. Chris frickin' Pronger? To go along with Scott frickin' Niedermayer? A pairing that is a blueline staple for Team Canada, let alone Team Anaheim.
And to think, all we had to do was wait around while other GMs continued to shoot themselves in the foot?
I'm going to have to post on this for the rest of the summer, but here's some quick takes:
- I have spoken out against top-heavy salary structures in the past, but I think with these two guys (both clocking in at above $6 M per year), you can make exceptions. For one, they will be throwing in 25+ minutes a night (our most important minutes). Secondly, each of them is capable of 'carrying around' a cheap carry-on partner like Beauchemin ($500k) or Vishnevski (yet unsigned). The salaries look decent if you think about 'blueline pairs' rather than 'blueline individuals'.
- Losing Lupul hurts us somewhat, but I think having to sign him (RFA status) would hurt somewhat also. I have no idea what he is likely to command (especially given his four-goal playoff game vs. Colorado), but it is likely to be higher than we would have liked to commit to. Lupul does have a lot of upside, but that is true for a lot of our young roster. The difference is, most everyone else we know what we're paying.
- To think about how in the past, Anaheim had trouble attracting top players, seems so far away now. Our last several offseasons have seen such signings and acquisitions as Petr Sykora, Adam Oates, Sergei Fedorov, Vinny Prospal, Scott Niedermayer, Teemu Selanne, and now Chris Pronger. That is not a shabby list at all.
- A special thanks goes out to Ruslan Salei, whose encumbering deal with Florida enabled one less potential Pronger bidder. Maybe the most valuable thing Salei has done for us.
- Was there some sort of discount we got for losing to Edmonton in the conference finals? I guess we certainly didn't owe them any favors.
- I guess the only thing we have left to do this offseason, then, is to re-attain former Duck Sean Pronger, to give Rob Niedermayer some nepotism company.
Ah, the memories. So Ducks fans, have yourself a happy Pronger Day today, and the rest of you patriots have a happy and drinky fourth.
Go Ducks.
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Kings Sign Rob Scuderi, Goal Scoring Issue Solved
by RudyKelly
on Jul 2, 2009 1:25 PM PDT
16 comments
The Kings were 11th in goals allowed and 27th in goals scored, which means they clearly needed to add offense this off-season. Well, they did it, signing famed scoring dynamo Robert Scuderi. Scuderi scored... wait, that can't be right. One goal? The guy scored one goal last year? Oh God, we're doomed.
But seriously, Scuderi is a good stay-at-home defenseman who can either play with Jack Johnson (assuming her majesty is OK moving to the right side) or team up with Matt Greene to form an ultimate defensive stopper unit. The Kings were 11th in defense last year, but that doesn't mean they can't move up. I see our defense looking like so next year:
O'Donnell-Doughty
Scuderi-Johnson (One-timers galore)
Quincey-Greene
The only question is, who only plays 15 minutes? Also, this kind of feels like the prelude to a Johnson trade. Just a hunch.
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UFA Day Open Thread
by Earl Sleek
on Jul 1, 2009 9:55 PM PDT
244 comments
Well, it's July 1st, the day when lots of signings happen and lots of dollars get committed, but probably the first day where teams can really blow it. I think more Stanley Cups get lost than won on UFA Day, but that doesn't mean that is isn't exciting for hockey fans. There's lots of players changing uniforms, lots of half-baked rumor-wishes, and there's bound to be plenty of surprises.
I'll be around most of the morning, and we'll try to keep this updated somewhat, with big signings across the league or small signings that impact the BoC. Don't count on a comprehensive list -- go here for that -- but gives us a place for reaction and outrage. And other BoC writers? Feel free to add to this as you wish (more recent signings on top).
July 2nd Signings:
12:45 pm: Dean Lombardi finally makes a UFA splash. The Kings sign UFA defenseman Rob Scuderi from the Penguins, allegedly for 4 years, $3.4M per. Also, a few defensemen signed earlier today in the Pacific Division: Phoenix Coyotes sign Adrian Aucoin, 1 year, $2.25M. Dallas Stars sign Karlis Skrastins, 2 years, $1.38M per.
10:15 am: Compared to yesterday's deal-a-minute frenzy, this morning has been awfully quiet. Perhaps GMs are remembering the curse of the contract signed on July 2nd -- remember, that's the date when Burke signed Bertuzzi.
8:50 am: Some signings as of this morning:
- Havlat is confirmed with the Minnesota Wild, sorry Kings. 6 years, $5M per.
- The Atlanta Thrashers sign Nik Antropov, 4 years, $4M per.
- The Boston Bruins and Mark Recchi agree to a Selanne-style extension. 1 year, $1M, plus presumably some incentives.
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Brown, Jack and Quick Invited to U.S. Olympic Camp
by RudyKelly
on Jun 30, 2009 11:58 AM PDT
14 comments
Dustin Brown, Jack Johnson and Jonathan Quick were all invited to the U.S. Olympic camp today. Brown and Johnson were to be expected after their play in the World Championships, but Quick is a little bit of a surprise. I assume DiPietro would be there if he were healthy. I guess it makes sense if you think about it, though, since Miller is turning 30 next year and I don't know how old Tim Thomas is but just by looking at him I'm going to guess... 45? He looks like he needs a smoke all the time. Taking Quick to kind of experience the whole Olympic thing is a good idea because he could be very well be starting in 2014.
I'm going to write more about it when I do my season review after free agency, but I think next year is the year we see Dustin Brown become a left winger. He kind of has to, not just for the Kings but for the Olympic team as well. The U.S. has Kane, Ryan, and Langenbrunner playing right in the Olympics, and I can't imagine that Brown would get priority over one of them. He'll need to play left, which should be easy for him since he shoots right anyway. I see the Olympic team working out like this:
Zach Parise-Scott Gomez-Jamie Langenbrunner
Dustin Brown-Paul Stastny-Patrick Kane
David Booth-Ryan Kesler-Bobby Ryan
Mike Modano-Chris Drury-TJ Oshie
Erik Johnson-Jack Johnson
Tim Thomas
I don't know if those defensive pairings work because I didn't look up handedness, but overall I think it works. Hooray 5th place!
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Goodbye Goc's Blog
by Mike Chen
on Jun 29, 2009 9:49 PM PDT
13 comments
With the release of Lukas Kaspar and Marcel Goc, that's two more first-round draft pick busts for the Sharks. It hasn't been pretty over the past decade, and today's release shows that the San Jose scouting staff hasn't hit many home runs -- and it's the end of Marcel Goc's brilliant blog. ("I went to the mall today. It was fun.") While the jury is still out on the 2006 and 2007 picks, the previous picks have left much to be desired. Let's review:
1999: Jeff Jillson -- Great offensive instincts don't mean anything if you can't skate. And for defensemen, the ability to skate backwards without falling over is, well, just a tad critical. But hey, he had a good shot in his limited NHL time.
2000: None
2001: Marcel Goc -- Good at face-offs, a decent penalty killer, and...um...that's about it. But hey, he helped fill out the requisite German quota after Marco Sturm left.
2002: Mike Morris -- How not to use a first round pick? On a guy who can't stick with the AHL for more than 17 games.
2003: Milan Michalek, Steve Bernier -- Bernier's still trying to find his way, though at least he gets a regular NHL shift. As for Michalek, he keeps showing frustrating flashes of brilliance but never seems to break through for consistency.
2004: Lukas Kaspar -- Other than consistent playing time for the Worcester Sharks, Kaspar never really did anything notable.
2005: Devin Setoguchi -- 31 goals in his second season makes Setoguchi the best of this bunch.
2006: Ty Wishart -- Traded for Dan Boyle
2007: Logan Couture, Nick Petrecki -- We shall see...
2008: None
2009: None
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Kings Free Agency Cheat Sheet
by RudyKelly
on Jun 29, 2009 12:24 PM PDT
33 comments
Here's a quick look at what the Kings will be doing for free agency. Glance over it, print it out, and throw it in your wallet to show ladies. It's a great conversation starter!*
RK: Hey, don't you think signing Marian Gaborik would be cool?
Woman: *throws drink in my face
Pending UFA's: Derek Armstrong, Kyle Calder (hooray!), Denis Gauthier (double hooray!)
Pending RFA's: Jack Johnson, Ted Purcell, Kevin Westgarth
Salary Cap Space: A lot. Johnson and Purcell will probably cost maybe $4 million to re-sign, so the Kings will have enough to do whatever they want this off-season. They probably won't use a lot of it, though, since they need space to sign all their young guys in a few years.
Key Needs: 1, a winger that can score. The Kings have a lot of guys that can bury the puck if given the opportunity, but they need someone besides Kopitar and Frolov that can actually create that opportunity. 2, a depth defenseman that can preferably play shorthanded. The Kings have a lot of young defenseman that can steal a job at camp, but they need someone that can pitch in if no one steps up.
Potential Targets: Marian Hossa, Marian Gaborik, Greg Zanon, Rob Scuderi
What Our Rivals Want: Ducks want the Niedermayer's back, Sharks want someone with a pulse come April. I think the Sharks should re-sign Alexei Semenov and the Ducks should re-sign Brendan Morrison, I always liked both of them.
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
82 | 53 | 18 | 11 | 117 |
| Anaheim | 82 | 42 | 33 | 7 | 91 |
|
Dallas
|
82 | 36 | 35 | 11 | 83 |
|
Phoenix
|
82 | 36 | 39 | 7 | 79 |
| Los Angeles | 82 | 34 | 37 | 11 | 79 |
(updated 4.13.2009 at 9:21 AM PDT)
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