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Around SBN: SB Nation MMA Rankings for August 2010

A brief look at the Pacific East

mike w (of Covered In Oil fame), says:
I’m more interested in your artistic side: clearly you’ve picked up doodling along the way.
One somewhat interesting fact about my online drawings or doctored photos is that I’ve never used (or even tried to use) PhotoShop. Really, I have two tools for doodling, MS Paint and MS PowerPoint. Paint allows me to draw or alter parts of pictures, and PowerPoint enables me to ‘layer’ images and add text. The only explanation I can offer for never trying PhotoShop is that my doodling has never been used in any professional sense.

But aren’t the results so damn cute?

And just to keep it hockey-related, let’s take a quick look at the offseasons of the Phoenix Dogs and the Dallas South Stars. (For a fuller sense of team rosters and salaries, go to CantaloupeHalves’ great 30-team site.)

---------------------------------------------------
Phoenix Coyotes:

Key Additions:
Forwards—J. Roenick, G. Laraque
Defense—E. Jovanovski, N. Boynton

Key Departures:
Forwards—M. Johnson, G. Sanderson, O. Kvasha, B. Devereaux
Defense—P. Mara

Sleek’s Compliment: There is a lot of character and variety among the Dogs’ forwards, with guys like Ricci, Roenick, and Laraque to complement guys like Comrie, Nagy, Doan, and Reinprecht. Throw in some good extra parts like Saprykin, Scatchard, and Nash, and this could be a very nice mix.

Sleek’s Criticisms: I still don’t get a good feel of how Gretzky can coach, despite him being one year in. He certainly didn’t impress against the Ducks. How costy can a CuJo-Sauve tandem be in net? Are Jovo or Laraque worth the money/years?

---------------------------------------------------
Dallas Stars

Key Additions:
Forwards—E. Lindros, J. Halpern, M. Barnaby, P. Stefan
Defense—J. Modry, D. Sydor

Key Departures:
Forwards—J. Arnott, B. Guerin, N. Kapanen
Defense—W. Mitchell
Goal—J. Hedberg

Sleek’s Compliment: Mirtle points out how the Stars have 8 NHL-steady defensemen under contract, and their forward mix has a lot of promise also. Three number one picks (Modano, Lindros, and Stefan), a lot of Finns, and some utility guys (Halpern, Morrow, Barnes, and Barnaby). Really, all their bases are covered.

Sleek’s Criticisms: How did this team lose to Colorado, and does that mean anything? Is Big E going to make a difference, and in how many games? Although there are a lot of man-games on the blueline, the depth appears deceiving past Zubov and Boucher.

I dunno, what’s your take on these two teams? Give me a compliment and a criticism about either team in the comments, and if you're bold, a prediction.

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As you all know The Ducks blue line is suffering pretty badly.  Wiz being banished to the Islanders really doesn't help much.  What I'm about to suggest is crazy, probably not legal, and absolutely absurd.  But desperate times call for desperate measures.   

That is a picture of my girlfriend's dog, Mia.  And the holder of that hockey stick is me.  Every once in awhile I'll practice stick handling in my kitchen with a small tennis ball.  The other day, this interested Mia and she sort of made a game out of it.  I try to stick handle around her and she trys to get the ball.  At first this was no challenge to me, but then the little bastard started getting really good.  So, here's my solution:  

The Ducks sign Mia to a 3 year entry level contract.  She can't stick handle, check, pass, shoot, has no concept of what team she's on, and has pretty shitty cardio.  But from a team that once employed the likes of Ryan Whitney and Steve Eminger, this is all easily forgivable.  On the up side, she'll never take a penalty....  Unless they add biting or pissing on the ice to the NHL rule book.  She's relentless....  Unless the opponents all bring bacon which they use as a distraction.
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Pacific Standings

GP W L OTL PT
San Jose 82 51 20 11 113
Phoenix 82 50 25 7 107
Los Angeles 82 46 27 9 101
Anaheim 82 39 32 11 89
Dallas 82 37 31 14 88

(updated 4.12.2010 at 6:21 AM PDT)

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