Heckling guide - lite

I'm working on a much bigger heckling guide that should come out (relatively) soon. But for now, whet your appetites with the one I geared toward Dallas fans (sort of) in The North Texas Daily. It appeared in the October 4th edition, if you're wondering.

Note: Because of space limitations, teams including the Kings were taken out. In the full-on Heckling Guide, expect "Full House" jokes aplenty. Or at least one.

NHL heckling guide

Since the baseball playoffs started last night, people might miss the flowing mullet sneaking past the radar. The NHL is back in action tonight after a surprising comeback last season.

You don't have to be a hockey expert to enjoy a Stars game - after all, it is about a 45-minute drive and nosebleed tickets often go for around $10 a piece. This guide can help you heckle several teams coming to Dallas this season.
For teams that come more than once, their first appearance is listed in parentheses.

New Jersey Devils (Saturday)
The Devils and Stars play each other in the Stars' home opener, so the atmosphere should be close to playoff-level. And considering the fact that the Stars never make it past the second round anymore, you might want to breathe it in for as long as you can.

Vancouver Canucks (Oct. 23)
Last year, the Canucks were more fun to heckle. Not only did the team trade outright villain Todd Bertuzzi this summer, it also fired coach Marc Crawford, owner of one of the funniest haircuts in the NHL. Double bummer.

Detroit Red Wings (Oct. 27)
Do you hate old people? Then bring a walker to the AAC when the Red Wings come to town and heckle 44-year-old defenseman Chris Chelios.

St. Louis Blues (Nov. 1)
Keith Tkachuk made headlines last year when he came to training camp well overweight. The posters and jokes just write themselves, but if you need a hint, call him "Ka-chunk."

Nashville Predators (Nov. 22)
Many fans will remember former Star Jason Arnott for getting thrown out of a 2006 game against the Avalanche with a face full of blood.

Minnesota Wild (Dec. 2)
Jacques Lemaire's wicked comb over used to be the only thing interesting about this team. It beefed up its offense, so now it might be worth watching. Not to take anything away from Lemaire's comb over.

San Jose Sharks (Dec. 4)
Joe Thornton is the NHL's version of Peyton Manning. It's a guilty pleasure to watch him crumble under pressure in the playoffs.

Phoenix Coyotes (Dec. 6)
The Coyotes are the latest home of perennial loudmouth Jeremy Roenick, infamous in the Dallas area for injuring Modano and then promptly getting his jaw broken by former Star Derian Hatcher.

New York Rangers (Dec. 14)
If you have a mullet wig, put it on when the Rangers come to town. The team's biggest star, Jaromir Jagr, once sported one of the most legendary mullets in the history of the NHL.

Anaheim Ducks (Jan. 11)
The Ducks are giving hockey fans everywhere a reason to snicker, and this time around, it's not because of Emilio Estevez jokes. Chris Pronger's wife is the NHL's answer to Yoko Ono. Heckling him should be worth the price of a $10 nosebleed ticket.

Pittsburgh Penguins (Jan. 26)
Sidney Crosby might be the closest thing to the next Wayne Gretzky. Let's hope that is without the whole Mafia gambling scandal.