Herod: Anaheim Ducks

Herod ran the town of Redemption, Arizona with an iron fist. Nobody likes him, but everyone fears him. He is so without conscience that he murders his own son in the tournament and then disowns him while he is dying. Herod is unique for a villain in that he does have his softer moments and at times seems likeable. Don’t let it fool you, though; at heart he is pure evil. The Ducks are likewise in control of the playoffs so far. Did anyone seriously entertain the notion that the Ducks were in any trouble during that entire series? The Ducks also have their softer moments (I like Scott Niedermayer, and Getzlaf’s goal in Game 2 was pretty sick), but I still really hope they lose.




Ace Hanlon: Minnesota Wild

Ace Hanlon was a trickster gunslinger who talked a bigger game than he could back up. He was flashy, but humiliated by Herod in the first round and then shot in the chest. Twice. The Wild are similar in that they have their flashy parts (Gaborik, Demitra), but they really had no chance in the first round. The Ducks didn’t kill them, though; they just severely injured one of them.



I couldn't find a picture of him, so this is from some movie. Why is he yelling?

The Kid: Detroit Red Wings

The Kid tore through his part of the bracket, looking almost unstoppable. He managed to wing Herod (his father) when they fought, but took one to the stomach and bled to death. Herod always denied he was The Kid’s father because The Kid was too soft. Likewise, the Wings are a flashy team that so far has looked unstoppable. I suspect that they would lose if they played the Ducks if they play for the same reason that The Kid fell to Herod; they’re just too soft. This also works because The Kid was played by Leonardo DiCaprio, and he’s pretty just like Henrik Zetterberg.

I couldn't find a picture of him either, so here's a picture of Dred Scott.

Eugene Dred: Nashville Predators

Dred is a local pedophile who rapes the innkeeper’s daughter. He’s a completely vile character and is shot by The Lady in an unofficial duel. Likewise, the Nashville Predators are a gang of (alleged) pedophiles who deserve nothing but contempt. They raped Jonathan Cheechoo’s knee and Steve Bernier’s brain in consecutive games. If they were only shot in a rain-soaked duel by Sharon Stone, they should consider themselves lucky.

Cort: New York Rangers

Cort was on the other side of the bracket from Herod. He used to be one of Herod’s gang but left when he found God. He’s old and weary of life, but he can still use a gun surprisingly well. I used to hate the Rangers back when they were good, but sort of forgot about them when they started sucking at the turn of the millenium. Now they’re back and surprisingly competitive, even though no one really thought they had much of a chance. I guess you shouldn’t underestimate experience and gumption. Plus, Russell Crowe is well-known for being a dick, and so is Sean Avery, so that works too.