Semi-live blogging the skillz competition (part 1 of 3)

Note: This live blog unexpectedly became Chara-big, so I split it up into digestible pieces. Enjoy.

Well, since I'm watching this thing on-and-off I thought I would leave the occasional brain droppings on this thing.

The highlight so far is happening as I type: the fastest skater competition which features a hilariously anticlimactic match that stupidly took Ilya Kovalchuk out for Brian Campbell at the last minute. Way to kick the fans in the balls, silly NHL.

It's always fun to see the introductions as well. After watching those I must say that this might be one of the ugliest group of All-Stars in NHL history. I think Horcoff has taken one too many blows to the head.

It's funny, I was going to say the All-Star game would be cooler if the players went without their helmets, but after looking at these guys I might have to back off on that one.

Other highlights so far:

Nicklas Lidstrom's semi-awkward Versus interview. He's asked, after 10 years, if the All-Star game still means the same to him. Since Lidstrom is all class, he does not provide what would have been my answer ("Ummm... of course not you floozy") and instead remarks that he was "more nervous" during his first All-Star game.

Tim Thomas's "shots" were pretty hysterical. That goofy, confusing obstacle course seems like it was made for Marty Brodeur but apparently he had some barbecuing to do or whatever.

Finally, I must ask, what the hell does that stupid McDonald's commercial mean? Why is it "cold" to ask someone about french fries? God, I hate McDonald's.

Update: Shootout

Nifty goal by Dion Phaneuf. Nifty non-goal by Vincent Lecavalier (C'mon, I thought that the Michael Jordan of hockey would show up in hockey's version of the slam dunk contest).

Ribeiro got stooooned. (boy that sounds bad).

Scotty Goalmez comes through.

Woof, Dipietro somehow made a save on Marian Scaborik. Yikes, in the interest of ratings don't zoom in on him. Whenever I see a closeup of Dipietro's mask "America...fuck yeah!" starts playing in my head.

The other Penguin undresses Chris Osgood. Man, I really need to work on my hockey metaphors. Right now it's just sex, drugs and hockey pucks.

Ricky D justfies his lifelong Bret Hart/Magic Johnson contract with some on-ice humor. Marty Turco still owns him from last year.

I like Eric Staal, but was he really the #1 choice for the NHL 08 cover? Really, after a monster 70 point season? Whatever.

Kimmo scores a beauty while looking just wrong in a Flyers jersey.

Uh oh, Elimination Round time. This would be more suspenseful if elimination meant getting dropped from a board room table into molten hot lava. Oh well.

Dion Phaneuf isn't just for charging and slap shots anymore. I'll be damned.

I'm happy those two guys are getting a little limelight, but seriously, Tim Thomas and Manny Legace are All-Stars? Meh.

They should have gone with the behind the goaltender camera because it was really hard to tell if some of those shootout attempts were goals. The worst camera work was the obstacle course, though, which will now formally be known as The Clusterfuck Course.