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Kings Gameday: That Doesn't Make Sense

LA Kings (poop) vs. Calgary Flames (29-20-8, 6th in West)


7:30 PST, FSN West

So on Wednesday, the Kings sent down Matt Moulson and Peter Harrold. That's okay, they've been playing well and everything, but there's no point in having them up if Blake and Nagy are ready to go. They are ready to go, right?

Nope!

Neither Nagy nor Blake are ready to go for tonight's game and probably not for tomorrow's game either. Okay, that's not too bad, maybe Scott Thornton will play with Armstrong and Ivanans and Giuliano will take a spot alongside Handzus and Calder. That's what will happen, right?

Nope!

Thornton left yesterday's practice with an injury. That doesn't mean Brian Willsie and Kevin Dallman are going to play, does it? Over Moulson and Harrold??? Dear God, surely the Kings don't hate me that much.

Yep!

Man, this whole tanking thing better be worth it. I haven't seen this much tanking since that one time I saw a tanker transporting tanks to Tankistan whilst playing the smooth vocal stylings of a tank top-wearing Durrell Babbs, AKA Tank. If I have to put up with this shit, I better get Steve Stamkos, a Stanley Cup, and a free kick to the nuts of Marc Crawford, Ron Hextall, and Bailey. (Do lions have nuts? I flunked chemistry.)

Prediction: Hide the women and children folks, this one's going to get ugly. Kings lose, 5-1. Goal by Handzus.

Edit: Okay, I didn't care too much for this stupid fucking Ultimate Highlight bullshit they have on ESPN. It's retarded, it's stupid, we all know it. They have sunk to a new low, however; they have ruined Kirk Gibsons' home run in the 1988 World Series for me. I mean, there are two famous calls of that home run: Jack Buck's "I don't believe what I just saw!" and Vin Scully's "In a year of improbables, the impossible has happened!" What does ESPN do? They put Chris Berman's voice over it. Chris "The Biggest Blight on America Since Aaron" Berman. This is the most egregious rape of my childhood since Transformers. These are the times where I'm glad ESPN doesn't have hockey. I'd rather watch Bill Clement's bug spray commercial for the rest of eternity than have hockey go back to ESPN.


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Takes and trash talk from all sides of the NHL's most pathetic* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!
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