The Kings are pretty boned on defense, and the only other real option on defense just got signed by the Ottawa Senators. The Kings can still trade for Mathieu Schneider (for Lauri Tukonen, make it happen!) or someone from Toronto because they have their defender of the future in Jeff Fing-hahaha, sorry, couldn't quite get that one out with a straight face. Anyway, the Kings' defense as it stands right now will have Matt Greene on the top unit and Tom Preissing as the 3rd best defenseman. That sucks. The Kings need leadership too; the only guy who wore a letter last year that is still on the team is Derek Armstrong and he's more Tom Sizemore than he is Tom Hanks. There's only one man I know that could fill both voids. He's a man who saved us once before when Rob Blake betrayed us, a man of conviction and morals that would never betray us. The Kings need to sign Mattias Norstrom.

Now, I know what you're saying: "Norstrom was the 6th best defenseman on the Stars," "He's not very good," "He's retired." I don't care. The Kings need Matty Norstrom. I need Matty Norstrom. We're lost without him. Right now, the Kings are Bridget Jones and Rob Blake is Daniel Cleaver; Matty Norstrom is our Mark Darcy. He's not flashy or the one you'll notice out on the ice, but he's steady and he's a good person and he's fits us perfectly. We need him.

Matty, I know you want nothing more than to go back to Sweden and become a carpenter (a fact that inspires awe in me), but the Kings need you now. You've always been there for us; be there one more time. Money isn't an issue, just take Blake's deal. Just one more year, for us. If you do this, I swear to you I will lobby to have your number retired until the day I die.

Please.