Guess When Shelley Vs. Parros Happens

by Mike Chen on Dec 11, 2008 10:25 AM PST Comment 18 comments

(Note: BSWB = Mike Chen...I haven't figured out how to get SBN to display my name rather than my user ID)

When the Washington Capitals came into town, I made an off-handed comment in a post about what the over/under was on when Jody Shelley and Donald Brashear were going to throw down. They went early in the first period.

So now that we've got some division rivals in town, when do you think we'll see Shelley and George Parros drop the mitts? These things are almost as choreographed as WWE matches now, except there's no off-the-top-rope action or guys dropping in from the rafters. Put your best guess in the poll below, then leave your best guess as to how long it'll go and who will win in the comments.

Poll

When Will Shelley Fight Parros?

0-10 minutes (first period)

31 votes

10-20 minutes (first period)

60 votes

20-30 minutes (second period)

13 votes

30-40 minutes (second period)

5 votes

40-50 minutes (third period)

2 votes

50-60 minutes (third period)

0 votes

111 votes | Poll has closed

0 recs | Comment 18 comments

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Comments

I haven’t figured out how to get SBN to display my name rather than my user ID.

If we don’t figure it out soon, I’ll shoot a note to the SBN techies. But otherwise, wouldn’t it just be easier to change your legal name to Bswb? It’s tough to pronounce, sure, but I really can’t see any other drawbacks.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Dec 11, 2008 10:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Where’s the “they won’t fight” option?

Bay Area born and bred.

by Nael M. on Dec 11, 2008 11:08 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I guess it’s implied by any non-votes. Why, you thinking Shelley’s going to man-hug Pronger only to back down from a fight a second time?

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Dec 11, 2008 11:15 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Nah, instead I see Shelley and Parros having a civilized debate about the physcality of the sport over a cup of tea, with Shelley speaking in a British accent and Parros’ mustache groomed into a handlebar style.

(When I get bored at work, this is the kind of things that pop into my mind.)

Bay Area born and bred.

by Nael M. on Dec 11, 2008 11:22 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Parros should also be wearing a monocle. Meaning he’d basically look exactly like this guy:

by brokenyard on Dec 11, 2008 4:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

When did Mr. Peanut get his wish and become a real life boy?

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Dec 11, 2008 5:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I’ve seen first hand guys dropping in from the rafters at Honda Center but it normally occurs before the game not during.

by Flax on Dec 11, 2008 11:22 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I know Sharkie got stuck once before, and for some reason I think Wild Wing did as well.

Fear The Fin: Where the second round is overrated.

by Mr. Plank on Dec 11, 2008 3:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

BTW, if the fight lasts more than 10 seconds, I’ll be amazed. These aren’t even close to the most balanced-on-their-skates fighters in this league.

Also, side question: when Jody Shelley decided to become an NHL enforcer, how much of that decision was based on insecurities around the fact that he has a girl’s name for both his first and last name?

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Dec 11, 2008 11:31 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

oooooooo...

that why I like you guys…you go for the jugular here!! ;-)

by tbell61 on Dec 11, 2008 11:38 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Haha

I’ve wondered the same thing about Shelley. I don’t know if it was a decision he actively made, or just a natural consequence of getting the shit beat out of him in school.

When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bicycle. Then I realized God doesn’t work that way, so I stole one and prayed for forgiveness. - Emo Philips

Neglectful father of David Quinowski

by marcello on Dec 11, 2008 3:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

well

some consider being a girl a negative (read on i have a joke for you) so a negative times a negative is positive. So Jody Shelley has the manliest name.

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Dec 11, 2008 5:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Wouldn’t be exciting if the fights included jumps off the turnbuckle and top rope? That’s it, new rule change for the NHL. Install turnbuckles at all the corners of the rink and at the ends of all the lines.

by Wooster11 on Dec 11, 2008 1:10 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Hell, I could see Kunitz coming in to deliver a steel chair shot in the waning moments of the fight. Lil punk.

Side Note: If you think wrestling is “fake” then watch 1998’s King of The Ring. I don’t care if the storyline is scripted, those guys are crazy athletic, and probably crazy as hell too. When you watch part 2 you will notice Mick Foley (who goes by the nomiker of Mankind in that specific match) get chokeslammed through the roof of the cage. Not planned. The ceiling on the cage broke with his impact, and he legitimately was knocked out when he hit the canvas. Any other human would have been dead.

Another note- he gets slammed onto tacks to end the match. Afterwards, the dude goes up to Undertaker backstage. Obviously a little worse for wear he says “Hey Mark (Undertaker’s real name), did we ever end up using those thumbtacks?” At this point about 50 of them are embedded in his arm.

That’s what legends are made of.

Fear The Fin: Where the second round is overrated.

by Mr. Plank on Dec 11, 2008 2:36 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

who win?

I don’t think the fight will last that long, maybe 20 seconds with Ryan Carter getting a victory off a fluke trip by Shelly.

by Mike in OC on Dec 11, 2008 3:17 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

From the looks of things

Next time we should probably structure the poll like this:

— break the first thirty minutes into six 5-minute stretches, each a voting option.
— the seventh voting option is “the last 30 minutes”
— eighth option is “they don’t fight tonight”
— ninth (winning) option is “Kelly Hrudey”

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Dec 11, 2008 3:57 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Even with "the last 30 minutes" as an option

As of this post, the score between 1st half and 2nd half is 64 – 2. Breaking the first half into segments of 5 minutes will only do so much.

by brokenyard on Dec 11, 2008 4:25 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

wow

51% of people were right

"Gotta suck for the other teams. You finally catch the Sharks on an off night and you still lose." -Shark Man

by idunno723 on Dec 11, 2008 9:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

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Pacific Standings

	GP	W	L	OTL	PT
San Jose Fear The Fin	59	39	11	9	87
Phoenix Five For Howling	60	36	19	5	77
Los Angeles Jewels From The Crown	59	36	20	3	75
Dallas Defending Big D	58	26	21	11	63
Anaheim Anaheim Calling	59	28	24	7	63