Kings Gameday: If You Can't Beat 'Em, Beat 'Em
by RudyKelly on Jan 15, 2009 12:15 PM PST
24 comments
LA Kings (Bad) vs. Detroit Red Wings (Good)
7:30 PST, Fox Sports West
The Kings have come tantalizingly close to defeating the Detroit Red Wings twice this season, only to falter in the most heartbreaking fashion.
First, the Kings were up 3-2 against Detroit in the waning seconds of the third period before Denis Gauthier made a boneheaded pass that was intercepted by Valtteri Filpula; he proceeded to skate in alone and score on Jason Labarbera, tying the game. The Kings would go on to lose in a shootout when Pavel Datsyuk, Henrik Zetterberg, and Marian Hossa somehow bested Dustin Brown, Oscar Moller, and Wayne Simmonds.
Then, the Kings were up 4-3 in Detroit with 4 1/2 minutes to go when Jiri Hudler scored to tie the game. Dan Cleary would score 1 1/2 later and then Kris Draper would score on an empty net to put the game away.
Twice the Kings were leading the Detroit Red Wings and twice they let victory slip through their fingertips. Since they can't beat the Wings, apparently the Kings are going to be satisfied with just beating the Wings. Manchester toughman and Ivy Leaguer Kevin Westgarth has been called up to a Kings team that is in dire need of a little spontaneous destruction. Incumbent goon Raitis Ivanans did not practice yesterday but is expected to play tonight as well. It doesn't make a lot of sense to skate two goons against the wussiest team in the NHL, but apparently the Kings aren't really looking to win tonight. What the Kings need is not necessarily a win but a little fire, a little proof that they're a team. I'm not a big fan of goonery but a little part of me hopes Kevin Westgarth grabs Tomas Holmstrom and starts beating the hell out of him just because I want to see what the Wings would do. (I'm pretty sure the toughest guy on their team is Mike Babcock.) The Kings won't win tonight but the game should nevertheless be entertaining.
***
Drew Doughty is out tonight after getting kneed in the thigh during the Lightning game. I'm sorry, but isn't this where Terry Murray is supposed to call Doughty a "candy ass" and then Doughty goes out and gets an assist on the game-winning goal? They're even playing against the NHL's version of the Red Army! C'mon, Drew, do it for your country!
Prediction: Kings lose, 5-0. Westgarth tries to fight Andreas Lilja* and embarrasses himself.
*You know the Vietnamese kid that Charlie Sheen yells at and makes dance in Platoon? Andreas Lilja and that Vietnamese kid have the same look on their faces all the time.
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Honesty
Prediction: Kings lose, 5-0. Westgarth tries to fight Andreas Lilja* and embarrasses himself.
Good for you! So honest and…realistic! (It’s just as realistic as predicting a Ducks 4-3 LOSS)
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
by SK eleven on Jan 15, 2009 12:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Oh, and see if you figure out how this is retarded.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Jan 15, 2009 12:44 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yeah. But honestly, I can’t call it the most retarded thing I have read all day. That award goes to this fine piece of idiocy.
Strachan, you’ve outdone yourself.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 1:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
What a load of trash that is. I’m not a huge Bettman supporter (I doubt you can even find one for that matter), but basically what he’s saying is:
“Teams who signed a lot of players to long and expensive (read: bad) contracts are being treated unfairly by the salary cap because they can’t ditch those deals onto other teams.”
Kudos, dick.
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
by Mr. Plank on Jan 15, 2009 1:20 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Right. And his order of who’s at fault:
1. Bettman. Obviously this was his scheme, completely done without any urging from any team owners.
2. The salary cap, for forcing such popular teams to sign away their futures.
3. Money players for not continuing to produce despite the fact that their salaries dictate that they must be productive.
4. The inability to predict the future.
Plus, what he completely ignores:
1. There have always been losers “who are toast” in the NHL since forever. Making Ottawa or Tampa Bay great again would shift that losing to somebody else.
2. The fact that a system that punishes shortsighted and bad behavior is ideal.
3. The fact that teams feel the cash crunch from committing too much to payrolls several years down the road has been entirely predictable from the start.
I think this is pretty much the worst article I have read during the 08-09 season.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 1:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Look at Jiri Hudler’s forehead. He obviously has down syndrome. Which means he’s retarded. Which means he’s got retard strength. It’s all transitive, you see.
If Ivanans starts trying to mug someone, Hudler will start screaming and kicking, breaking all his action figures and model airplanes, and then bite Ivanans, right on the face, and then like bear hug him till he’s dead or something. Bam, fight’s over, and the Wings prove themselves to be the strongest team in the world, no questions asked.
by IAmJoe on Jan 15, 2009 1:35 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Hudler only comes up to Ivanans kneecap. We might need Professor Pronger to explain the physics in action to make a physical altercation between those two at all possible.
by HockeyJoe on Jan 15, 2009 6:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Now Rich Hammond is reporting that Armstrong is playing instead of Ivanans or Westgarth, so… um, nevermind.
Also, check out these stellar defensive pairings:
O’Donnell-Greene
Quincey-Harrold
Gauthier-Preissing
Yikes.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Jan 15, 2009 1:40 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Against the highest-scoring team in the league? This game might end up more one-sided than a polaroid.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 2:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
This game might end up more one-sided than a polaroid.
You just don’t hear that one often enough. Or ever.
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
by SK eleven on Jan 15, 2009 2:56 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I like to think you had that gem written down and taped up next to your computer, lying in wait for the perfect time to unleash it.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Jan 15, 2009 2:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I couldn’t really have just invented the phrase, could I? I was trying to think of famous one-armed people to end the analogy, but other than the guy I can’t name from The Fugitive, I was drawing a blank.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 3:06 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
famous one-armed people
you are just on a roll today!
But am I correct that this means you’re comparing the Kings to one-armed people?
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
by SK eleven on Jan 15, 2009 3:14 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Well, not so much the Kings themselves, but more the notion of the Doughty-less Kings vs. the high-scoring Wings.
Basically, I was just hunting for an appropriate ending to “more one-sided than a ______” (polaroid, one-armed dude, typical CD-ROM, postage stamp, typical blog sidebar, whatever).
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 3:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Motha-effin Fugitive!
What I want out of each and every one of you is a hard target search of every gas station, residence, warehouse, farmhouse, henhouse, outhouse, and dog house for a better analogy for a one-sided game than a Polaroid.
/Tommy Lee Jones’d.
by jamestobrien on Jan 15, 2009 4:51 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Oooohhhh!!!! I got one, I got one!
How about “More one sided than a Dave Dravecky Electric Slide?”
Paul Lo Duca is MLB's Pablo Escobar..
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 15, 2009 5:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Or...(for you Anaheim fans)
How about…“More one sided than Jim Abbott’s Switch Hitting Ability?”
Paul Lo Duca is MLB's Pablo Escobar..
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 15, 2009 5:11 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
At least Harrold isn’t playing with Gauthier. That makes me nervous. Maybe they called up Westgarth and didn’t dress Ivanans so that they can be in the crowd and beat up all the douche bag Red Wing fans that will be yelling in the stands.
by Nut on Jan 15, 2009 2:48 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Speaking of injured defensemen
Sorry, this really belongs in the Ducks thread, but since it was against Detroit:
Festerling had his MRI and got a clean bill of health. Whew.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jan 15, 2009 3:49 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Whew is correct!!!!!!!
About 10 minutes before that happened I said something like, “That Festerling is looking good tonight!”
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
by SK eleven on Jan 15, 2009 4:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
How dare you sully the integrity of a Kings post with trivial Ducks bile.
by Nut on Jan 15, 2009 5:38 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
{recommended x 8}
Paul Lo Duca is MLB's Pablo Escobar..
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jan 15, 2009 6:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It’s okay…It was important information! :)
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
by SK eleven on Jan 15, 2009 7:07 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
59 | 39 | 11 | 9 | 87 |
|
Phoenix
|
60 | 36 | 19 | 5 | 77 |
|
Los Angeles
|
59 | 36 | 20 | 3 | 75 |
|
Dallas
|
59 | 26 | 21 | 12 | 64 |
|
Anaheim
|
59 | 28 | 24 | 7 | 63 |
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