Ducks Gameday -- Now gloating on a multisport level.
Anaheim Ducks (2-1-1) at New York Rangers (3-1-0)
Go visit Blueshirt Banter for your Avery longings.
What a nice east coast swing Teemu Selanne is enjoying the past two games -- fall behind by a goal, Teemu will score you a pair to pull ahead. Fall behind by two goals, Teemu will score you a pair plus a shootout winner. For those of you scoring carefully, Teemu has scored on his last five shots-on-net (counting the one shootout goal) -- that's a charmed life.

Originally posted May 7, but never more appropriate than today.
Then again, Artoo (Evgeny Artyukhin, but I don't intend on spelling it out much longer) is still humming along at 100% shooting accuracy -- two goals on two shots this season, and he nearly stole Teemu's dying-seconds heroics with a barely-wide shot near the end of period 3. We'll let his offensive zone penalty slide for one day, at least -- wins tend to overshadow sins.
And speaking of sins, I suppose it's time I committed some:
I'm a sucker for popular demand, I suppose. In case you're unfamiliar with State Rape, this BoC tradition all started back two-and-a-half years ago, and has made odd appearances ever since. As always, I'll start with the justification:
Oct. 7 @L.A. Dodgers 5, St. Louis Cardinals 3.
Oct. 8 @L.A. Dodgers 3, St. Louis Cardinals 2.
Oct. 10 L.A. Dodgers 5, @St. Louis Cardinals 1.
Bonus win: Oct. 10 L.A. Kings 2, @St. Louis Blues 1.
Totals: Los Angeles 15, St. Louis 7.
L.A. wins 'em all. Of course, I've already made a State Rape cartoon for Missouri before, so this was easy enough to update:

Hey, what do you know? There actually was a Second Missouri Compromise. Thanks, history!
* * *
This one's not yet complete, but it is promising:
Oct. 8 @L.A./Anaheim Angels 5, Boston Red Sox 0.
Oct. 9 @L.A./Anaheim Angels 4, Boston Red Sox 1.
Today -- G3 @ Boston, 9 am. Go Halos.
Bonus win: Oct. 8 Anaheim Ducks 6, @Boston Bruins 1.
Totals so far: Anaheim 15, Boston 2.
I don't want to jinx anything, though, so I'll just leave a placeholder.

Probably this is too much, but hey, it's not my team's playoff curse on the line.
[Update 1pm -- Boston blows it with two outs in the ninth, karma has been preserved. Angels 7, Boston 6. Another SoCal sweep.]
* * *
And don't think you're off the hook just yet, New York. Ducks are in town for a game today on a seesaw streak*, and it's looking like there could be an Anaheim-NY collision coming in baseball, too. Plus, I already have a template.
* Sharks score 4 goals, then Ducks score 1. Ducks score 3 goals, then Wild score 4. Bruins score 1 goal, then Ducks score 6. Flyers score 2 goals, then Ducks score 2-plus. Every game seemingly has exactly one turning point -- no more, no less. Perhaps that's the upside to terrible first periods.
Prediction: Ducks 5, Rangers 3. Goals by Whitney, Marchant, Perry, Lupul, and Koivu. I may be getting to this game's comments a bit late today -- because of the carto/porno-graphic sinning on display today, I'll be spending the morning confessing in church, and will have a DVR'd Angels game to go through once I get home. Still, feel free to comment on whatever -- baseball, state rape, hockey, or confession. Today, it's all relevant.
Go Ducks.
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124 comments
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Comments
It’s gonna be a good year for Southern California teams in all sports. Angels, ducks, kings, dodgers, lakers, and hopefully the Chargers do something cool this season.
Root, root, root for the hoooome team, if they dont win its a shame.
screw you rest of the world.
hooked on quack
You realize the Ducks aren’t the home team in this game, right?
I know that’s not how you meant it, but still…
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??
Good win for the Angels today. Thought they were gonna lose being down so late in the game, but wow, what a comeback.
hooked on quack
ANGELS VS DOYERS
Get your peanuts ready folks!
Let the Halo power flow...
by HALO N BRIMSTONE on Oct 11, 2009 3:57 PM PDT up reply actions
I like how after all that, you don’t predict a Teemu goal.
Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.
Heh, I don’t think I predicted one last game either. But damn, I got a final score right — that’s quite rare.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Oct 11, 2009 9:19 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Nice job Sleek.
you should add the game times to the game day post. Then we would have one-stop shopping at BOC.
2 pm today, I’ll add those in going forward.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Oct 11, 2009 9:28 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
ouch my arch !! thats funny shit
love it
I <3 sbisa
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Oct 11, 2009 9:32 AM PDT reply actions
This probably doesn’t help much in keeping other teams off the scoreboard, although, it probably cuts down on stupid penalties a little bit.
Wisniewski out with Shoulder Sprain
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Time for some Brookbank Mountain.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Oct 11, 2009 11:32 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
haha, just go all out and call him Brokeback…I do!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Oh wait, they recalled Mikkelson. Brookbank might not have to give up his pressbox seat after all.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Oct 11, 2009 11:43 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions
the good nicknames keep on coming hahahaha
I <3 sbisa
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Oct 11, 2009 12:03 PM PDT up reply actions
I would have promoted Brookbank Mountain more, except I never wrote a “Season Review” for the depth defensemen.
Plus also I never saw the Brokeback Mountain movie, so I’m not entire sure how best to use the joke.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Also this was on the Ducks site about today’s matchup…
Injury Report – Left wing Sean Avery (knee) is expected to make his season debut for the Rangers. Petteri Nokelainen (groin) hasn’t played in a game yet this season and is doubtful for the Ducks.
I guess they missed yesterday’s game, although they did catch Selanne’s goals.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Good grief, this is an ugly game. More than 7 minutes in and still no SOG for the Ducks. Should we even be surprised at this point?
I thought you’d be AT the game…doing your part on the east coast!!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Have the Ducks even got the puck past the blue line??
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Wait, a 2:00pm start? That fucked me up. I guess a 5:00pm local start time for a Sunday game is no stranger to the Ducks, but it still caught me offguard.
The Angels swept the Red Sox today, so do we care if the Ducks win or lose? I’ll take an Angels win for a Ducks loss, any day.
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??
so do we care if the Ducks win or lose
yes.
and by “WE” you must mean Ducks fans
and by win or lose…“we” would be a happier bunch if it was WIN.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Not watching the game (fucking parents watching “Bones”). Ducks scored?
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??
I don’t know why, but I could stare at this .gif for hours and hours. I’m actually surprised the Shark player at the end of the clip doesn’t break through the glass and punch him in the face.
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??
It seems like there either playing great, passionate, tough hockey, or just laying like shit. There’s no in between.
hooked on quack
Spade is going to kill Avery if he scratches Sbisa.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Oct 11, 2009 3:08 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Hey, Brown with the shorthanded chance (also at 5-on-5).
Perhaps this entire game is being brought to us by Del Taco Go Bold.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Great boardwork by Getzlaf/Perry — Lupul even changed for Ryan in the middle of all that.
OK, well still one period to see if Valiquette is a decent netminder.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Oh, that commercial. I think they need to change it!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
I was checking out the standings so far. There is no undefeated teams after 5 or less games. Usually someone stays undefeated for awhile.
hooked on quack
Well, the Islanders are sort of undefeated (also: winless). And in the west, Dallas, too.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I disagree — there’s nothing 4-on-4 or shootout-ish about the postseason.
If there’s anything artificial about overtime points, it’s the one that’s given to the winner of the postgame sideshow.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I understand where your coming from. But a loss is a loss, even if after sideshows.
No ties in this day and age.
hooked on quack
Yeah, but I think it’s significant that the Ducks didn’t suffer a true loss until G17 of the cup season. If it was just non-wins, that would have been but a three-game streak to start the year.
Sucking at shootouts can cost you standings points, but getting there matters for sure.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Rat scabies mofo
Gigi is rusty as usual
Let the Halo power flow...
by HALO N BRIMSTONE on Oct 11, 2009 3:56 PM PDT reply actions

He can keep a kid from stickhandling all over the Ducks’ defensive zone. Boom.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
but since we’ve been shorthanded 5 on 5…does that make this a 5 on 3?
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
If we’re going to get outshot 2-1, can’t we at least get outscored 2-1?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
It’s moot anyways. We couldn’t even keep up the 1-to-2 ratio. That would have taken effort.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
What the eff is up with this “zero energy at the end of a trip” deal? These guys never went on a four-gamer before?
Should we just stop traveling after three cities? This better be the goddamn swine flu.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Every game and in nearly in every period (not really going to look it up now, but I’m reasonably sure). It was a fucking achievement when the Duck and Rags both got 11 second-period shots.
And probably a counting error.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
You know, I’ve sometimes thought about putting together a scoring chance table for a game like they’re doing at mc79hockey for Oilers games. Here were the Ducks scoring chances tonight:
…
Oh wait, they’re tracking chances for both teams? Then I’m out — that requires way more effort.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I’m going to start a Ducks drinking game. Take a shot every time Anaheim takes a shot.
Yeah, you’ll get fucked up, but there will still be stretches where you’ll feel pretty goddamn sober.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
i thought this game started later…holy shit..uhhh glad i didnt watch it i guess…wtf happened?
I <3 sbisa
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Oct 11, 2009 4:53 PM PDT reply actions
o shit..i read the stupid eastern time again..thought it was starting now…looks like im gonna save myself 3 hours..
marchant hurt? fuck..ill have to read the comments at work tommorw to get a sense of wtf happened
arrrggg..couldnt even muster a fuckin goal? stupid
I <3 sbisa
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Oct 11, 2009 5:05 PM PDT reply actions
5 games in, and we’ve had 3 periods where the Ducks take two or fewer shots.
Something’s fundamentally broken with the system if it keeps happening with this frequency.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
earl why is our pk so bad?
we need some sleek anyalsis or nasa to figure this out
I <3 sbisa
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Oct 12, 2009 8:59 AM PDT reply actions
Unfortunately I didn’t catch any of the games this past weekend. I was checking the scores on my cell phone though. The Philly game looked like we got it done in the 3rd period and the shootout and that was about it.
Sounds like the Rangers game was a complete fucking meltdown. From what I’m reading anyway.
I don’t really get it. Anyone care to enlighten me on why we always have one period that looks like the other team is on a power play the entire time?

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