Ducks Gameday -- Mock to Interview for on Sammy Påhlsson
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 9:50 AM PST
75 comments
Anaheim Ducks (6-8-2, 14 pts) at Columbus Blue Jackets (9-6-2, 20 pts), 4 pm
Actual hockey content at Anaheim Calling and The Cannon.
Inspired by a badly-internet-translated Alexander Frolov interview passed on by user Ivano27 the other day (the article link has expired, unfortunately), I present to you an exclusive interview with former Anaheim Duck Sammy Påhlsson, taken from the fictitious Swedish journal of Språkrådet, then waywardly translated to English using Google Translator. For purposes of entertainment, it was first translated from Swedish to French, then French to Japanese, then Japanese to English. Plus the whole thing is made up -- just having some lazy fun on a Friday. Enjoy!
* * *
Q: Thank you for provision opportunity to speak and confront our questions.
A: I was unaware of my opportunity to refusal (laughs) but ever nostalgia when speaking for Swedish. It prefers over speaking for American, which still submit tangles.
Q: And still? You are nearly ten years to be on American territory, yes?
A: Now it makes more easy. When first to America, ability of speaking was hard more, but at least can speaking for Swedish on team Niclas Havelid associate. He and I friend together many seasons as a result, but when hockey position of Brian Burke begin operation, I become only Sweden represent in equipment room. Therefore it follows for speaking for American quickly must improved -- like for teaching swim on infant tossing in the river.
Q: Ah, yes. Infant necessity of surviving makes improved indeed! Do you bitter at Burke because Sweden boycott for his roster?
A: Hahaha, no answer! But Burke inspiration attitude for making Anaheim Ducks higher in rank, I don't challenge that. Only I wish to making less penalty time contained in this attitude. The Ducks never afraid punish used to penalty, repeat after repeat, like soldiers thinking -- because always I clean on make kill penalty for them after it.
Q. Were you friend terms on boss coach Randy Carlyle? What difference in now Ken Hitchcock for Columbus?
A: For usual, yes. Both in cases to understanding what strength of my game -- without relenting on puck, earning many faceoff situations, my living to put on defense shutdown. Randy isn't speak much at me many instances, rather he scolds Rob Niedermayer for relay to me. Mr. Hitchcock makes nicer -- sometimes there makes smiling, even for underneath anger, there is one difference! Ha!
Q: When "Senators" of "Ottawa" arrive to the forefront event of 2007, you did feature strongly in such Stanley Cup conclusion when confrontation with Daniel Alfredsson. Further in preceding cycles was the famous Henrik Zetterberg and menace of twins Sedin. How much Olympic associates does it matter in such atmosphere?
A: Top memory in Olympic gold absolutely, but setting differently for NHL playoff relationship. My duty is shut off Alfredsson from the score, and not mentioning Zetterberg and Sedins. Torino partnership is deposited in behind car seat; for difference moment he is enemy and concentrate must energy.
Q: Samuel, which in looking back is your preferred line partner most?
A: I think of many candidates for preference, one must say a mention on Stephan "Stumplike" Thomas, what was absorbed by the Ducks of Might at the 2003 trade limit from Chicago Indian franchise. When I navigate to hockey offensive ice, Stumplike understands to identify open position and thus shooting with energetic.
Q: Were not you also participant in Chicago franchise enlistment? 2009 trade limit replacing James Wisniewski on the defense position?
A: Certain. Also for playoff humiliate Henrik and Daniel brothers another chance.
Q: Recently to July, when you enlisted upon Columbus "Blue Coat" franchise when unlimited free agency make available. Was it thinking of Anaheim possible? Do your return opportunity offered?
A: Anaheim hire manager Bob Murray I remember conversing before exchange on Chicago. He thanks for many years me playing on Anaheim, and he wishes that I employment satisfactory in summer – with different franchise. He repeating "different franchise" for my ear three, four instances during time meeting, so message makes impression strong. He says my increase salary difficult when budget for Anaheim spend, that making sense for salary limit NHL. I fondly memorize Anaheim, even so -- it make opportunity for my NHL every day position.
Q: We partner occasion for internet site "Battle of California" – familiar to you has it?
A: Is for certain. Before exchange on Chicago, I familiar to me most days reading, and even currently, I make stopping by. For relief it is to see if cartoon draws by Earl Sleek, even though worried sometimes for he's crush much on my player a bit (laughs). I make funny to read Rudy Kelly the days, also. Wonder to how he makes on success Kings Los Angeles for now? Can more gay even if? Much good for seeing Mike Chen for write more, but where James O'Brien is gone? He make for act to disappearing on similar Jonathan Hedstrom for the playoffs season, ha ha!
Q: To speak of this, reminding of Sharks San Jose reputation giving -- you bother by missing to opportunity for first cycle to defeat famous Sharks in spring past?
A: Hahaha, I think suppose perhaps truth -- would promise many fun. I made phone to friend Travis Moen to making fun to this, many laughing. Not complaining much for it, even though -- I outlast more than Ducks surviving in spring past. (laughs)
Q: Could you prediction offering with the NHL contest in tonight?
A: I suspicion to match for Ryan Getzlaf tonight; he leader among for players Duck. He make situation for difficult, but I search to put check body to Teemu Selanne at opportunity if for taking, maybe situation in kill penalty. To some reason, probable he smiles too Finland, my want to hit Teemu is for full career dream -- be warn to Teemu lookout!
* * *
That actually was kind of tough to do -- feel free to add your own badly-translated player-fiction in the comments, Pahlsson-related or otherwise.
Go Ducks.
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ducks of might
tee-hee..
uh we could use a win today no?
Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 13, 2009 10:36 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
For sure — Ducks have the fewest points and fewest wins in the west. A win would definitely be nice, especially with a game in Detroit tomorrow.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 10:43 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I like the talk of tossing children into rivers. The highlight of any interview.
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 13, 2009 11:35 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
It was going to be a fjord originally, but I decided to ease up a bit.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 12:13 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
even though worried sometimes for he’s crush much on my player a bit
couldn’t have said it better myself.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Nov 13, 2009 11:46 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, miss you, Sammy. Still tough to see Pahlsson in another uniform, or to see Anaheim’s #26 come off the bench only to be Eric Christensen.
Still, let’s beat Sammy tonight. C’mon, Ducks.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 12:12 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
And in case Pahlsson fans are offended or anything, here’s an old poem that should offset any offense.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 1:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
That’s a lot harder than you made it look. Good job.
Unrelated, but Scott Niedermayer for Oscar Moller: yay or nay?
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Nov 13, 2009 12:56 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Nay — Pacific Division teams in particular have to overpay to get Niedermayer, who already has this vote of confidence from the GM:
“Scotty is going to retire as an Anaheim Duck, whenever that might be. As far as I’m concerned, Scotty can play for the Ducks as long as he wants. It’s the same thing I said last year. He wants to retire here and he’s going to retire here.”
Question is, how many times is he going to retire here?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 1:03 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Randy isn’t speak much at me many instances, rather he scolds Rob Niedermayer for relay to me.
I had to remind myself that this was a fake interview…I totally believed it was real after reading this part!
Oh, and the part about your man crush.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 2:09 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Well Sleek, at least you wont have to feel guilty about turning on Sammy…he’s not playing tonight.
– Columbus center Samuel Pahlsson will not play against his former team tonight because of an upper-body injury suffered last week.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 2:29 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Funny, you would have thought that would have been brought up in the interview. Lazy imaginary foreign media.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 2:34 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Seriously, they were clearly more concerned in asking his opinion of BoC.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 2:36 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I know. Both are seemingly large losses.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:07 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
WOAH! Did you see that?! Getzlaf shot the puck!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:11 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Wow, I’m not sure if the shot came on another shift, but that one with Parros and Artyukin was great. Amazing how sprinkling a little Getzlaf on a line makes such a difference.
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 4:14 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Amazing how sprinkling a little Getzlaf on a line makes such a difference
The image of that is hilarious for some reason!!! LOL!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:16 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe there’s a Sleektoon in there somewhere? :)
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 4:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
To some reason, probable he smiles too Finland
He does! But, still, Finns > Swedes in my book. Probably has to do with my underdog habit.
This was hilarious.
Whoa, what a second, I can’t play hockey with you, I have to solve a murder.
by Niesy on Nov 13, 2009 4:13 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, I loved that line, too. Great work, Earl! You hit exactly the right (or wrong?) notes.
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 4:15 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Thanks — I got a little worried about it this morning when it was half-written, wasn’t really sure what I was doing or whether I should have started over. But then my roommate had car battery trouble, my time got a lot more crunched, and I bit the bullet and finished it.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It had the perfect amount of coherent incoherence. I just wish the link to the original hadn’t expired — I would’ve saved more quotes. Especially about the illness…what was it, “In California, the swine flu also wanders?” Yes. Yes it does.
Whoa, what a second, I can’t play hockey with you, I have to solve a murder.
by Niesy on Nov 13, 2009 4:55 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
B-Ry! Just as Spade texted me “Is this a replay of Wednesday’s game?”
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:20 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
What a slut…he texted me the same thing! LOL
That was a fucking beautiful goal though…
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Absolutely gorgeous! And yay for the streak!
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 4:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I had to point out to him that the first Blue Jacket shot of the night didn’t go in.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:22 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Maybe if you stopped posting your phone # online…
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 13, 2009 5:21 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
It’ll be interesting to see how they make up for that one.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
They could punish the Ducks by putting them on the power play — lately that seems a difficult scenario for Anaheim.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:33 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Well, that seemed inevitable. I was getting to the point where I was celebrating zone clears.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
No kidding…I could feel it coming…
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 4:42 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Link to the game anyone?
I have Gamecentre but they dont show the games when its being broadcasted around here….and there are NO links that I can find.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 4:43 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Sorry, I’d like to help, but I don’t know crap about feeds. You did miss ten strong minutes.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 4:47 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Hm, i checked atdhe, ustream, and justintv — can’t seem to find it, either. So sorry!
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 4:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The only link there is, is a link some guy has streaming of Center Ice which rotates between all the games on right now, only problem is is that it’s about a minute behind the radio broad cast.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:01 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
WOOOOOOO!!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 5:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
That brings Getzlaf up to an assist per game — guess the guy can let the guys with Stone Hands shoot for him.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:09 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
WOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!! Who is this Leprechaun?? When did he get hands of flesh?
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 5:04 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Guy remembers who his former team is — great work, Stone Hands!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:05 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Who just got the penalty?
Also, I think BoC should install a live chat program during the game.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:09 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Some days it’d be useful, but a lot of days this format works.
Artoo with the penalty; eight seconds later, game is tied. Terrible PK.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:10 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Nevermind, shit.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:09 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Alright, now let’s get one back!
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:12 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yes, please. If only to shut up that one unfortunately-placed fan within range of Haysie and Ahlers’ mikes.
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 5:13 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
If only to shut up that one unfortunately-placed fan within range of Haysie and Ahlers’ mikes.
(Have to say it.) You mean Hayward?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:15 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
HAHAHA! hoohoohoo… I meant a Columbus fan, but yeah, Hayward, too. Always Hayward.
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 5:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Or at least have a power play that’s not laughably wasted.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:14 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Sounds like were going with the latter.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:15 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, Getzlaf should’ve taken that shot. Instead he engaged in a puck battle with himself.
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 13, 2009 5:21 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Now Hayward is fawning over Eminger’s big shot, which has made its way on net three times this season. That guy needs some aiming potion.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Damn you Perry, you’d better be faking injury like almost every other damn time.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:30 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
No kidding! That’s not going to encourage Getzlaf to shoot more…
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 5:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Crap, Perry got his stomach dominated.
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:30 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
It’s too bad Perry isn’t like much of the Kings and used to things poking him in the stomach….
I deliver high-quality H2O
by The Waterboy on Nov 13, 2009 5:32 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
C’mon, power play! Competence!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:33 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Maybe next time. C’mon, third.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 5:38 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Hey, is that ad on the far boards (Ducks defensive zone) a digital ad? It’s highlighted in blue, and I think it’s changed a few times during the game.
Also, nice diving play, Wiz.
by g r a c e on Nov 13, 2009 6:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Holy smokes our PK is scary to watch.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:17 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
As is pretty much this whole third period. Scoresheet has 3rd period shots at 13-6, but I think they’re being generous on Anaheim’s end.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Why don’t they play full games like this?!?
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 6:25 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
You liked this third? I think we’re lucky to have a point after that period, hopefully we can get lucky and find another.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:29 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I was mostly referring to the final minutes.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 6:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
yay point.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 6:28 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Hm, power play coming. The way those have been going, should Carlyle just rest up people for the shootout?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:33 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
or tomorrows game….
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 6:36 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Getzlaf is shooting, but now he’s got to work on getting a shot away in less than five seconds.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:36 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
and moving his feet
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
by SK eleven on Nov 13, 2009 6:37 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Well, now who knows if the Ducks can get to a shootout. Stupid, Whitney.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:38 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
I don’t have a lot of hope here — we’ll see, but I think Giguere maybe had to stop all three.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:43 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
And another non-win for the non-winners. Sigh — cup finalists for the next two.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 13, 2009 6:45 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Really enjoyed the post, Sleek.
Fear The Fin: Where Selling Your Soul Is The Likely Solution
by Mr. Plank on Nov 13, 2009 8:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
chiming in on the community whore computer here
dont know what to say..were a bad team pretty much…ill continue to watch cuz i love hockey..but with my physical ailments almost at an end..i intend to destroy my liver to able to watch this debacle known as ducks hockey this year..i thought murray gave it a good gamble..and on paper we looked like a good team…but we came up craps i think…or were taking a crap or were eating crap..or i want a monkey to throw crap
well heres some positivity..the ducks somtimes al la philly game surprise us and play up to there compitietion..so we might see a decent game today
im gonna try my first beer today and see how my body reacts…ill toast our boys in white and tan or whatever u call that color our duckos wear….go ducks!! elbow holmstrom for good times sake…thats all i ask..give me somthing to smile about
Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 14, 2009 10:20 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
58 | 38 | 11 | 9 | 85 |
|
Los Angeles
|
58 | 36 | 19 | 3 | 75 |
|
Phoenix
|
59 | 35 | 19 | 5 | 75 |
|
Dallas
|
58 | 26 | 21 | 11 | 63 |
|
Anaheim
|
58 | 27 | 24 | 7 | 61 |
(updated 2.8.2010 at 5:30 AM PST)
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