Kings Gameday: None More Excited
by RudyKelly on Nov 13, 2009 12:04 PM PST
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PrintLos Angeles Kings at Winnipeg Jets, Nov 13, 2009 4:30 PM PST
Bird Watchers Anonymous would kick my ass if they knew of my love for General Sherman. Hey, war is hell.
WOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!
Man am I pumped for this game. I'm a Kings man tried and true but I sure do love those Atlanta Thrashers. There's Ilya, of course, who is without a doubt my favorite non-Kings related hockey player in the league. I don't watch Ilya Kovalchuk enough to know if he's good defensively or if he's a team player, but I like to think he is neither of those things. I like to think of him as a stone cold Russian badass who says shit like, "Ilya do not have time to backcheck like woman," and then punches Rich Peverley in the face before scoring a hat trick; then he hops into his Lamborghini hot tub and has a threesome with a chick with a Chelsea Smile and another girl with 2 C-section scars. Badass, is how I like to think of him.
Then there's Maxim Afinogenov, who is exactly like Ilya Kovalchuk except he sucks. For some reason that makes me love him more than I otherwise would. I don't know why, I just love Russians and foreign hockey players in general. I think it's because I'm kind of racist and I can just prescribe personality traits to them. (This can be seen in my love of Lubomir Visnovsky, who I talk about in the exact same way I talk about a dog.) Maxim is playing a different game from everyone else. He's an iconoclast, kind of like Eddie the Eagle or that one guy who shit his pants playing rugby.
Then there are their goaltenders, who I mostly love. I love Kari Lehtonen so much I take him in fantasy hockey every single Goddamn time I play and then he gets hurt. I love Ondrej Pavelec because of his name. Pavelec, teehee! Johan Hedberg can go to Hell, though.
I love Tobias Enstrom because he's an Eastern Conference Marc-Edouard Vlasic. I love Zach Bogosian because he's American. I love Evander Kane because I can imagine him skating by Wayne Simmonds and giving him a little "'Sup?" nod. (Like I said, kinda racist.) I like Ron Hainsey because there's no way a guy with that name should be a hockey player; he should be writing TPS Reports or writing someone up at McDonald's because they were 5 minutes late. I love the Atlanta Thrashers.
That beind said, I hope the Kings beat the hell out of them tonight. I should be interesting, as Rich Peverley will most likely get Kopitar duties while Fro will be charged with stopping his fellow countryman.
This is the most pumped I'll get for a regular season game until the first time we play the Ducks. Go Kings.
***
Also, did anyone see on Inside the Kings where Terry Murray and Bill Ranford talked about how Jonathan Quick was too hunched over and that it was leaving him open up high. Hmm, I seem to remember someone mentioning that earlier... OH WAIT. IT WAS ME. I SAID THAT.
Prediction: Kings lose, 3-2. Wait, that was last season, when they always disappointed me. Kings win, 3-2.
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Dear God, what a delightful post.
I’ve never thought about the Enstrom/Vlasic comparison, but I think you’re absolutely right. SO PERCEPTIVE!
It’s mighty refreshing to run into a non-Atlantan who actually digs the Thrashers. I do really like those Kings.
Good luck for not really but kind of. I hope it goes to overtime.
by MortimerPeacock on Nov 13, 2009 12:14 PM PST reply actions
I’m really surprised that you like the Thrashers. I do admire the Kings for sporting the purple/black combination because there’s enough of the goddamned red uniforms in this league. But I don’t know anything about their hockey. I guess I’ll see tonight at the game.
by ThrashersRecaps on Nov 13, 2009 1:13 PM PST reply actions
They also have Slava Kozlov, who is awesome and underappreciated. I imagine if Kozlov joined Kovalchuk and Afinogenov in that Lamborghini-limo-hot tub he would have a scowl on his face the whole time with his arms crossed while everyone else laughs and has fun. He would look on while Ilya does a line off of one of the girl’s asses and when Ilya looks up and gestures to Slava with the rolled up bill and the rest of the 8-ball, Slava just rolls his eyes at him and mutters, “Nyet” as he looks away in stoic disbelief. “Pfft”, he thinks… “kids”.
That’s an errily realistic depiction of Slava Kozlov.
Rudy, great preview. I will use that “Ilya do not have time to backcheck like woman” quote for years.
by RazorCatchPrey on Nov 13, 2009 1:53 PM PST up reply actions
Ha, now I imagine Frolov hanging out with his countrymen in that limo scenario and sitting there wide-eyed and nervous the whole time. Although I’ve always had this suspicion that he comes off as Latka from Taxi at work, but in his free time he is a suave and smooth character. If we were still in the Cold War and Fro defected I’d bet he’d be a great double-agent for the KGB. Except they’d probably think he wasn’t doing enough and undervalue him too. Meh.
(regarding “meh”)
why do you keep saying this word? I dona think it means what you think it means.
by Nut on Nov 13, 2009 2:18 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
Hey Nut, when I use “meh” it’s like a shrug of my shoulders about something I can’t control. In the above post I’m lamenting about how Frolov, whether he’s playing hockey or assisting Mother Russia with the downfall of Western man, will always be undervalued, at least from my perspective he will be. It’s a minor rant from one man’s point of view and one I should just blow off, which I do with a shrug of my shoulders and by typing “meh”. “Meh” seems to me to project post-thought indifference (kind of like saying " Well, moving on…") whereas a “sigh” appears to carry a little more emotional gravitas. I’m probably wrong (I did point out that I’m retarded) and if it bothers you, well… meh. Just kidding. Clear things up for me if I’m way off.
I understand “Meh” to be a dismissal of someone else’s remark, kind of like how Dogbert says, “Bah!” when he disagrees with someone. I would say, “Eh,” if I were indifferent. I think it’s more personal preference though and oh my god am I really spending time typing this out.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Ha, ha… God that made me laugh… just to keep this meh thing going, because Fridays are typically very slow at my work and I want this thread to go on and on, I actually say “eh” when I speak, but “meh” looks better in typeface in my opinion and “eh” always looks like it’s requesting a reply even if it’s not followed up by a question mark and holy fuck, I cannot stop laughing as I type this… Goddamn this is a ridiculous subject to comment about… “eh” looks Canadian too and that alone makes me cringe. If anything these comments will make me pause before typing “meh” again. I’d laugh if you guys banned me for life because of “meh”… ooo, a client…
I’m growing fond of typing in the word “shrug”, usually as its own sentence. I think I’ll start saying it aloud, too — seems easier to say “shrug” than to actually do it.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I’m indifferent to all of this…
Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 13, 2009 3:34 PM PST up reply actions
I think it’s because I’m kind of racist and I can just prescribe personality traits to them.
Well, you at least ascribe human traits to them and don’t act like they are strange, inscrutable creatures from the Planet Enigmok, so I’d say you’re good.
I heard Fox talked about Fro in last game’s intermission. What was said, does anyone know? More of the same?
Whoa, what a second, I can’t play hockey with you, I have to solve a murder.
I don’t know, I don’t watch intermissions. I’ve pretty much cut Patrick O’Neal out of my life, and it’s fantastic.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Fair enough! Though I bet you missed the bit where Simmonds said “Usually I have to lotion myself.” Personally, I am willing to make that trade-off.
Whoa, what a second, I can’t play hockey with you, I have to solve a murder.
I bet you missed the bit where Simmonds said "Usually I have to lotion myself."
Now THAT’S racist.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Aww, I just thought it was my five-year-old sense of humor. I give myself a blog misconduct just in case, though.
More praise for Fro from Murray. I feel dizzy!
Whoa, what a second, I can’t play hockey with you, I have to solve a murder.
Oh Rudy
I’m considering getting you a Sherman necktie for Christmas. Then again I like trees too much. All the history references make me happier than they should.
by princessminako on Nov 13, 2009 5:25 PM PST via mobile reply actions
And at the 10:22 mark of the second period, Evander Kane says “Et tu, Meat Train?”
Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 13, 2009 5:50 PM PST up reply actions
Careful! I think that’s in violation of Birdlaw…
Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 13, 2009 5:59 PM PST up reply actions
Ummmm has Rudy decided to take his life? Just remember, it’s one game. But damn!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)
by ang6666 on Nov 13, 2009 7:13 PM PST reply actions
Hopefully he had a date in a Lamborghini hot tub.
This post was hilarious enough on its own, but then reading it after knowing what happened tonight … well damn.
Lighthouse Hockey: Side effects may include Weight gain and frequent game loss.
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