Battle of California: An SB Nation Community

Navigation: Jump to content areas:


Pro Quality. Fan Perspective.
Login-facebook
Around SBN: Off Tackle Empire interviews Rich Rodriguez

Kings Gameday: What Do You People Want From Me?




Look, leave me alone.  I've been moving and I haven't had TV or anything so I haven't really been able to watch the last 2 games.  I listened to the Thrashers game (at least until 6-0 when I angrily turned it off)* and completely missed the Lightning game, which sucks because Wayne Simmonds introduced someone to the Meat Train and Rob Scuderi got hurt and a goal was called back in overtime and the Kings won in a shootout.  But yeah, I was moving so I can't fill your head with tantalizing visions of Earl going down on a guy or vivid tales like the time I farted in the shower and water was running down my crack so I thought I had pooed for a second.  Nothing to see here, folks.

*It sucks when you're listening to a game in your car and something goes wrong because you can't really get angry.  You'll yell, "Fuck!" and then raise your hand to hit something but there's nothing you can really hit and so you'll just kind of freeze before you angrily twist the dial on your radio, but the knob is like an inch big and doesn't take much effort to turn so you end up using way too much force and slamming your hand against your window or something.

But anyway, the Kings lost Rob Scuderi so Randy Jones is playing.  There, now you can go back to forwarding cat videos or whatever the hell it is you people do when you're not pestering me for information.  God, the pressure of this job sometimes.  Man, I need a break.*

*Puts on worn VHS of 3 Ninjas, unzips pants

Prediction: Kings win, 2-1.  Tomas Vokoun has 50 saves, Quick has 10.

0 recs  |  Comment 12 comments |

Story-email Email Printer Print

More from Battle of California

Kings Sign Willie Mitchell

Aug 2010 by RudyKelly - 36 comments

For Comparison's Sake

Aug 2010 by RudyKelly - 10 comments

The Kings Clinic Series

Jul 2010 by RudyKelly - 45 comments

Texts From This Morning

Jul 2010 by RudyKelly - 177 comments

Season Review: Matt Greene

Jul 2010 by RudyKelly - 11 comments

Comments

Display:

No worries, moving sucks.

I listened to the Thrashers game (at least until 6-0 when I angrily turned it off)*

I read the bottom asterisk after reading this line, and even though that was the incorrect association, it still worked. Nicely done. :)

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 16, 2009 12:05 PM PST reply actions  

hahaha which of the 3 Ninjas is your favorite?

by superfan#99 on Nov 16, 2009 12:35 PM PST reply actions  

Haha holy hell, I read that and thought, ‘Hmm, do I like Colt, Rocky or Tum Tum more?’ I remembered their names!* I haven’t been this proud of myself since someone at work mentioned One Fine Day and I was able to remember that it starred George Clooney and Michelle Pfeiffer.

*Rocky.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 16, 2009 12:46 PM PST up reply actions  

LOL

thats a perfect description of what its like when you’re angry at the car radio

William Doolittle at your service, a.k.a. will do.

by Ollie on Nov 16, 2009 1:53 PM PST reply actions  

Man, Jesse Jackson is probably PISSED about that fight.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 16, 2009 5:51 PM PST reply actions  

I told my roommate that Meat Train got into a fight with another black man and he said, “Huh, that’s impressive. Not to many men live after getting into a fight with a black Panther.” Haha.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 16, 2009 8:09 PM PST up reply actions  

Oh, so I can now update this old image (saved for the day when I’ll ever write about race in the NHL*)?

* Never.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 16, 2009 8:22 PM PST up reply actions  

I guess this a day for using asterisks* on BoC?

*instead of just saying it normally

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 17, 2009 5:02 AM PST up reply actions  

“like the time I farted in the shower and water was running down my crack so I thought I had pooed for a second.”

That is always a terrifying one second.

by Donzo on Nov 16, 2009 6:49 PM PST reply actions  

That is also one disgusting sound, and seems to smell worse in the shower.

by Nut on Nov 16, 2009 8:11 PM PST up reply actions  

wait…you might be better off pooing…u can clean off after but uh yea…you would have some “pick up” work to do..might need a shovel

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 17, 2009 7:47 AM PST up reply actions  

BoC: What our bloggers lack in pretty much everything they do, they make up for in poop jokes.

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 17, 2009 1:37 PM PST up reply actions  

Comments For This Post Are Closed


User Tools

Takes and trash talk from all sides of the NHL's most pathetic* rivalry

* Thanks, Kevin Lowe!
Start posting on Battle of California »

Join SB Nation and dive into communities focused on all your favorite teams.

Connect_with_facebook

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

Small
If Kariya retires, did he have a Hall of Fame career?
Fatkidazdsafas_small
LA's goaltending: Quick/Bernier/ ?
Avatar-body_small
NHL 11 for Spade!! We need your donations!
0107001523_small
What Bobby wanted to say!!
Beavis_and_butthead_mtv_image_1__small
Omegle is undecided about Kariya
Avatar-body_small
Some interesting comments by Randy Youngman
0107001523_small
Talks with Karyia?..would we go penguins?
Hockeyplayers_small
For Those Keeping Score...
Sanjosestate-logo_small
Staring at Boobs
Megalodon_small
Damn you, Sharktopus!

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

FanShots

Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.

Recent FanShots

Marchant is ten points short of five hundred on his career and he'll...
New off-season vehicle for Sharks fans/players?
(seen first at PPP)
I've always thought this was uncanny. In case you've been living under a rock the last 10 years, that's Salma Hayek.
Puppy thrown at German biker gang
Selanne's back, Kariya is possible
Reported: Selanne is Back??
Vancouver hires Brown as assistant
As you all know The Ducks blue line is suffering pretty badly.  Wiz being banished to the Islanders really doesn't help much.  What I'm about to suggest is crazy, probably not legal, and absolutely absurd.  But desperate times call for desperate measures.   

That is a picture of my girlfriend's dog, Mia.  And the holder of that hockey stick is me.  Every once in awhile I'll practice stick handling in my kitchen with a small tennis ball.  The other day, this interested Mia and she sort of made a game out of it.  I try to stick handle around her and she trys to get the ball.  At first this was no challenge to me, but then the little bastard started getting really good.  So, here's my solution:  

The Ducks sign Mia to a 3 year entry level contract.  She can't stick handle, check, pass, shoot, has no concept of what team she's on, and has pretty shitty cardio.  But from a team that once employed the likes of Ryan Whitney and Steve Eminger, this is all easily forgivable.  On the up side, she'll never take a penalty....  Unless they add biting or pissing on the ice to the NHL rule book.  She's relentless....  Unless the opponents all bring bacon which they use as a distraction.
So Cal Wildfires
Stadium Food

+ New FanShot All FanShots >

Pacific Standings

GP W L OTL PT
San Jose 82 51 20 11 113
Phoenix 82 50 25 7 107
Los Angeles 82 46 27 9 101
Anaheim 82 39 32 11 89
Dallas 82 37 31 14 88

(updated 4.12.2010 at 6:21 AM PDT)

4 years old and counting!

SBNation.com Recent Stories

PHILADELPHIA - MAY 16:  A fan of the Philadelphia Flyers holds up a sign reading "Next Goalie" behind goalie Carey Price #32 of the Montreal Canadiens in Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals during the 2010 NHL Stanley Cup Playoffs at Wachovia Center on May 16, 2010 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.  (Photo by Bruce Bennett/Getty Images)

Habs Finally Lock Up Carey Price, Sign Goalie To Two-Year Deal

National Hockey League commissioner Gary Bettman answers questions during a pre-game media availability before the Pittsburgh Penguins season opener against the New York Rangers in a NHL hockey game in Pittsburgh, Friday, Oct. 2, 2009. (AP Photo/Gene J. Puskar) +25 updates

Ultimatum? NHL Reportedly Threatens To Toss Out Kovalchuk, Luongo Deals Without NHLPA Concessions

Photo +1 updates

Report: Donald Fehr Hands NHLPA List Of Conditions On Becoming Union Leader

More from SBNation.com >


Managers

Meattrain1_small Earl Sleek

Hockeyplayers_small RudyKelly

Marleau_awkward_mustache_small Mike Chen

Editors

San2_small Cheechew

Shark_hat_small pj48

Small jamestobrien

Megalodon_small Megalodon