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Around SBN: Jeremy Lin Continues Rampage, New York Wins On Road

Kings Gameday: FFFFUUUUUUU-RAAAAAAYYYYY!!!!

Philadelphia Flyers at Los Angeles Kings, Nov 18, 2009 7:30 PM PST




 

Well, shit.

Ryan Smyth and Rob Scuderi are both out of tonight's game, one with a shoulder injury after stupidly trying to get past a defender at the blue line, the other after twisting his ankle in a scrum.  (Guess which one's which.)  Without Smyth the Kings are pretty screwed since they're kind of weak down the left side anyway so who knows what the hell they're going to do.  I know what I'd like them to do: trade for one of Ray Whitney*, Alexei Ponikarovsky or Andrew Brunette.  But they're probably not going to do that, so we'll probably have to fill it internally.

*How perfect would Ray Whitney be for this team?  He's a veteran guy with an expiring contract that could slot in alongside Jarret Stoll and Dustin Brown on the third line.  The Hurricanes are pretty much out of it already and will probably be selling; why not go for him now?

And in case you're wondering, this is the true genius of Ryan Smyth.  See how he comes to the Kings despite my objections and then starts to play well, making you think he might actually be a productive member of the Kings.  Then he gets hurt, harming the Kings' chances of making the playoffs.  I can't even be happy that he's hurt now because it hurts the Kings.  Well played, Smyth.  Well played indeed.

Star-divide

The easy solution is to move Alexander Frolov up to the top line with Anze Kopitar and Justin Williams, but I don't really like that.  Kopitar's success this season has come because he's been playing with 2 guys that don't need the puck; Frolov is a guy that needs the puck.  Plus, moving Fro up there pretty much evaporates any chance for secondary scoring the Kings may have.  I'd rather see someone like Scott Parse or Teddy Purcell up there and see what happens, but what do I know?  I once ate poop.*

*I was 4, my brother told me it was chocolate.  I don't like to talk about it.

Rob Scuderi is almost as important as Ryan Smyth but he's a little easier to replace.  Randy "Has a Peephole in His Guest Bathroom" Jones has taken Rob Scuderi's slot.  Jones has played a few games for the Kings and is a high plus/minus player.  Someone like Rob Scuderi isn't going to give you a lot of plus plays that lead to goals, but he's also not going to make any mistakes that cost the Kings' goals.  Jones, on the other hand, will fail to skate hard getting back and cost the Kings a goal (like he did against the Panthers to make it 0-2), but then he'll smartly jump in on the rush and tap in a rebound goal (like he did against the Panthers to make it 3-2).  I don't know, I'm not a huge fan of him because I think poor Wayne Simmonds is going to wake up one morning with a sticky face and a lot of questions, but he's fine for a little while.

So yeah, the Kings are kind of screwed right now.  But everybody is screwed right now; the Philadelphia Flyers are missing Simon Gagne and Aaron Asham from tonight's game.  The Penguins are missing their top 4 defensemen.  The Ducks are playing Kyle Calder on their top line.  (Hahahaha... ahem).  Everyboyd's hurt.  How the Kings respond will determine if they make the playoffs.

Prediction: Kings win, 3-2 (SO).  Goals by Doughty, Brown and Kopitar.

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The Ducks are playing Kyle Calder on their top line

that one really stung rudy…deep wound rudy…were talking balls deep

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 18, 2009 9:01 AM PST reply actions  

and here I’m trying to not laugh too loud at work … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)

by ang6666 on Nov 18, 2009 9:14 AM PST up reply actions  

I hope Ratis gets into a fight with Scott Hartnell and after landing a suplex shaves his head a-la Brutus “The Barber” Beefcake. Why in God’s name would you parade around with a head of hair like that? More importantly, what about being on the Flyers makes guys grow rugs of pubes out of their heads (Michal Handzus looked like a poodle who’s owner regularly beat him while on the Flyers)

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 9:05 AM PST reply actions  

I don’t see your point, because Michal Handzus looks awesome with that hair cut. And that sweater.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 18, 2009 9:12 AM PST up reply actions  

yeah there were other pictures that weren’t giant but did not include the sweater, and that simply would not do.

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 9:13 AM PST up reply actions  

I probably build a rocket ship too. Problem is I don’t know how to do either.

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 5:29 PM PST up reply actions  

I could probably build a rocket ship too. Apparently I also cannot construct a coherent sentence.

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 5:30 PM PST up reply actions  

I probably build a rocket ship too.

Doing! Zoom kay-o?

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 18, 2009 5:41 PM PST up reply actions  

Mr Saturn?

[DELETED ZOMG NO POLITICS]

by bluemax on Nov 18, 2009 6:44 PM PST up reply actions  

You want to sell things at me?

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 6:48 PM PST up reply actions  

Sorry meant to include instructions

Instead of posting:

< img src=“http://thephillyphour.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/f8h8le9opmysh3bn-o.jpg” />

Put:

< img src=“http://thephillyphour.files.wordpress.com/2009/08/f8h8le9opmysh3bn-o.jpg”width=200/ >

Minus the extra spaces before and after < >, this results in something like this:

[DELETED ZOMG NO POLITICS]

by bluemax on Nov 18, 2009 6:44 PM PST up reply actions  

Very true, and normally this is a very good lesson. But that Zeus shot should probably have been posted larger! :)

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 18, 2009 7:10 PM PST up reply actions  

holy fuck is this funny

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 18, 2009 9:19 AM PST up reply actions  

Oooo….the look is definitely Slovaki-fabulous.

I appreciate the giant size. It lets the full impact of its crazy glory really hit you.

Vodka is my copilot

by Niesy on Nov 18, 2009 6:08 PM PST up reply actions  

Here’s how I imagine Rudy reacted to Smyth’s season so far

“Ryan Smyth traded to the Kings”

Rudy’s pissed

“Ryan Smyth starts off really well.”

Rudy tries to hide his immediate turnaround regarding Smyth, just like any fan does when a player they once hated now benefits their team.

“Ryan Smyth helps Anze Kopitar lead the NHL in scoring”

Rudy attempts to tamper with his archives

“Smyth, out a month.”

Rudy feels normal again. Not good, mind you, just like the universe makes sense.

Am I wrong? Am I wrong?

When I'm not battling in California:
Cycle Like The Sedins

by jamestobrien on Nov 18, 2009 11:25 AM PST reply actions  

I went to the Kings-Pens game and booed the shit out of Smyth when they announced his name, thank you very much.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 18, 2009 12:19 PM PST up reply actions  

You don’t know how to boo.

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 12:30 PM PST up reply actions  

I didn’t necessarily boo (because I sound like the old lady from Princess Bride when I try to boo), so I really did a more dismissive, snooty taunt:

“Boo, Ryan Smyth, and again I say boo. I find your skill as a hockey player to be as ugly as your nose! Hungry? Enjoy some raspberries! *pbbbbbbtttt

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 18, 2009 12:48 PM PST up reply actions  

Fiiiiiiine.

When I'm not battling in California:
Cycle Like The Sedins

by jamestobrien on Nov 18, 2009 11:47 PM PST up reply actions  

I was at that game, too…How come the Staples fans were nicer after the Pens went Chernobyl in the 3rd than they are @ Frozen Fury each year? (bear in mind I had on my #66 jersey and talked a ton of smack in the first and 2nd)

The moral of the story: living in vegas sucks.

by yeah_eric on Nov 18, 2009 1:44 PM PST via mobile up reply actions  

living in vegas sucks.

really? i thought the “no sales tax”, multiple hookers and muliple buffets would be enough to be happy…damn

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 18, 2009 1:54 PM PST up reply actions  

Add a bunch of casinos to Victorville and you have Vegas….At least you still have a Scandia!

by yeah_eric on Nov 18, 2009 3:33 PM PST via mobile up reply actions  

I always suspected the main hobbies of the Vikings would have been mini golf and skeeball.

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 3:42 PM PST up reply actions  

I have no doubt that Ryan Smyth got hurt on the initial play. I just think it’s bullshit that RudyKelly snuck into the Kings locker room and repeatedly stabbed Smyth on his upper body while he rested. It’s one thing to hate on Smyth… it’s another to physically attack him.

by ChrisKontos on Nov 18, 2009 11:40 AM PST reply actions   1 recs

you forgot to mention he watched him dress before he assulted him

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 18, 2009 11:46 AM PST up reply actions  

But that’s just assumed, isn’t it? I mean if you go through the trouble of getting past security, you might as well get everything you can out of the experience. I bet he stole stick tape and Blue*Star ointment, too.

Lighthouse Hockey: Side effects may include Weight gain and frequent game loss.

by Dominik on Nov 18, 2009 12:35 PM PST up reply actions  

I like Ryan Smyth the human hockey player, but every time he scores a goal in NHL ‘10 for X-box and they show a cut-scene of him celebrating, he looks like one of those donkey-boys from Pinocchio complete with that awestruck look of "What’s happening to me?". I think Rudy’s other job is either as a graphic designer for EA Sports or he likes to trap dick-nosed Canadian hockey players, turn them into donkeys and then sell them to the circus.

by Irish Pat on Nov 18, 2009 1:36 PM PST reply actions  

Why do they have Jack Johnson and Justin Williams with shaved heads?

by Nut on Nov 18, 2009 1:55 PM PST up reply actions  

It makes them look weirder than Olli Jokinen. I’m playing a season right now and I traded for David Booth who looks like he took one of those Hollywood glamour shots for his profile pic (seriously, he should have gently lifted the back of his hand to his chin for the photo; he looks that gay) and his hair looks like it is being perpetually blown (ha, ha) by a slight breeze, but whenever he’s one of my 3 stars of the game he skates out looking like he just got done with chemo. Weird.

by Irish Pat on Nov 18, 2009 2:05 PM PST up reply actions  

Just for you Rudy, I saw a guy wearing a Kings 39 Cloutier jersey coming out of the game tonight.

by chris in torrance on Nov 18, 2009 11:51 PM PST reply actions  

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