Sharks Gamedays: Army of Darkness
by Mike Chen on Nov 20, 2009 9:33 AM PST
25 comments
Philadelphia Flyers (12-5-1) at San Jose Sharks (14-5-4), Friday 7:00 PST
San Jose Sharks (Hopefully 15-5-4) at Anaheim Ducks (7-10-3), Saturday 7:00 PST
(Note 1: A double-gameday post for this weekend, since I'll be running all over the Bay Area today and tomorrow.)
(Note 2: If you've never seen Army of Darkness, you won't understand anything here.)
"KLATU...VERATA...NICK (*cough* *cough* *cough*)"
Um, I think someone said the words wrong when they picked up the Necronomicon because this isn't the way stuff's supposed to be. Chris Pronger on the Flyers? The Ducks in last place? Mellow OC folks beating the shit out of each other for Scott Niedermayer's stick? Man, what the hell is happening?
Fortunately, we've still got Patrick Marleau around to say, "THIS...is my BOOM STICK!" Ok, actually, Patty wouldn't say that. He'd just kind of smile and shrug, and his unibrow would bob up and down a few times.
But I bet Todd McLellan would say, "Listen up, you primitive screwheads" when he's trying to get his team to play smart defensive hockey. Cause the goal is to prevent defensive breakdowns like...oh crap, that's how they lost in overtime against Chicago. Come to think of ii, perhaps he better use some harsher words besides "primitive screwheads." Heard at today's morning skate: "Well, hello Mister Fancypants. Well, I've got news for you pal, you ain't leadin' but two things, right now: Jack and shit... and Jack left town."
Actually, he was saying that to Marleau, Joe Thornton, and Dany Heatley, who played together as a line at the tail end of the game against Nashville. Oh wait, you didn't see that? Well damn, I missed that game too. You'd think with Center Ice these days, you'd be able to see every game on the planet but I guess there are still those rare instances when neither team broadcasts a game. It'd sure be nice if teams coordinated somehow so we were able to get at least one feed of each game. Next time, we'll make sure to tell them to shop smart...shop S-MART...YOU GOT THAT?
Now...WHO'S WITH ME?!?!?
The Flyer I'd Like On My Team: Chris Pronger as a social experiment. I'd love to see what the crazy drunk lady who sits behind me does when she realizes she couldn't boo Pronger anymore.
The Duck I'd Like On My Team: Scott Niedermayer, because the dude can incite post-game riots with the mere flick of a wrist. Next time, before he tosses his stick into the crowd, Niedermayer should call for the sword boy.
Prediction: Sharks 4, Flyers 2. Goals by Boyle, Boyle, Boyle, and Boyle.
Prediction: Sharks 4, Ducks 1. Goals by Boyle, Boyle, Boyle, and Boyle.
What? Eight goals by Dan Boyle? Are all ex-defensemen from Tampa Bay loud-mouthed braggarts?
Nope. Just Boyle, baby. Just Boyle.
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Now…WHO’S WITH ME?!?!?
You can count on my steel!
Great work, Chen — I knew within five words of the title that I’d love this one. Ramming Speed!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 9:40 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Oh, and I doctored your post to change tonight’s game time. Be warned, Shark fans — tonight’s game is at 7 pm, not the usual 7:30. Don’t be late!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 9:42 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I think they need to skate out of the shark head going “HA…HOO…HAI…YAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH”
by Mike Chen on Nov 20, 2009 9:53 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
By the way, did you ever notice that the mustache guy who says “You can count on my steel” raises a wooden torch?
by Mike Chen on Nov 20, 2009 4:33 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
That’s exactly why that line is my favorite.
Plus the overall gruffness of the next guy: “…and my axe!”
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 4:45 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
i could never get into this movie..watched it once..maybe it is like anchorman were i hated it first then loved it after veiwing couple times..its been on on encore..ill have to catch it again
me and Brendan Mikkelson have a bromance happening...i hold his penis while he pees
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 20, 2009 9:58 AM PST reply actions 0 recs
Aww it seems completely up your alley Spade. A true classic.
UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...
by Bleys on Nov 20, 2009 1:19 PM PST via mobile up reply actions 0 recs
You can kind of tell who is funny by asking them who their favorite character in Anchorman is:
Brick Tamland- Average person, probably funny sometimes but then they’ll mention they like 2 1/2 Men
Ron Burgundy- Probably not funny, thinks being an asshole is funny in and of itself
Brian Fantana- A hilarious person that gets comedy
Champ Kind- David Koechner’s mother
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Nov 20, 2009 1:54 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
“That was one crazy party. I am hung ovvaaa!”
by Nut on Nov 20, 2009 5:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Hahaha dead fucking on.
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 20, 2009 6:38 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
SHARKS!!!!!!!
and I have to say, the traffic at 2:30pm down in LA area sucks majorly!! man I was doing fine until then. (groans)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)
by ang6666 on Nov 20, 2009 4:03 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
Hah, there isn’t a time when traffic in LA doesn’t suck, welcome to southern CA.
by Evilducks on Nov 20, 2009 4:14 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, 2:30 pm is actually pretty good — wait three hours then try that drive.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 4:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
The moment I realized I couldn’t live in SoCal was when I was driving back from a KROQ Inland Invasion concert at 2 AM back to my hotel in LA and the freeway was at a dead stop. I don’t know how you guys deal with it and not wind up just getting out of your car screaming.
by Mike Chen on Nov 20, 2009 4:32 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Well, I’m out of L.A. now mostly, but I cheated — I have a carpool sticker on my Prius. Still not immune, though — L.A. traffic can be outrageous.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 4:46 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
I don’t know how you guys deal with it
Pretty easily, man, I just relax and listen to some music. I guess I’m just a pretty calm guy, though.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Nov 20, 2009 5:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
so my niece came to pick me up after 4 … took her a while to get here even tho she’s only like 20 minutes away cause of the traffic … and when we went to her place, took forever!!!! (this was at 6) cause of the traffic … Bay Area traffic during commute is a breeze compared to this … ugh!
makes me wonder what it’s like on a weekend and if we should head over to the Honda Center area early just to make sure we get there
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)
by ang6666 on Nov 21, 2009 12:03 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
makes me wonder what it’s like on a weekend
Drive should be OK on a Saturday, but the traffic monster can rear his ugly head at any time. Where are you coming from today?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 21, 2009 7:47 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
well not sure if we will be coming from my hotel at Ontario Mills area … or her place in Chino area … one of those two places
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)
by ang6666 on Nov 21, 2009 7:53 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Hmm, leave a little early, I guess — if you get there too early, you could always come to Danny K’s.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 21, 2009 8:02 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
yeah … could always check out what’s around the area … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality? (boycott Hollywood!)
by ang6666 on Nov 21, 2009 8:13 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Holy shit, Puck Daddy is reporting that the guy arrested during Niedermayer Stick-Gate was Mike Vallely, skateboarder and pugilist extraordinaire. That’s awesome.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Nov 20, 2009 6:13 PM PST reply actions 0 recs
No fuckin way, I kind of feel bad for the guy, it was his daughter.
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 20, 2009 6:43 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, and the sissy Ducks cut ties with the guy immediately. I’m telling you, there’s a way to solidly promote that guy and turn this into a win-win.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Nov 20, 2009 7:35 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
So on the ice is okay, but 6 feet away from the ice is casting the organization in a bad light. Okay, management.
Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.
by brokenyard on Nov 20, 2009 11:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
59 | 39 | 11 | 9 | 87 |
|
Phoenix
|
60 | 36 | 19 | 5 | 77 |
|
Los Angeles
|
59 | 36 | 20 | 3 | 75 |
|
Dallas
|
58 | 26 | 21 | 11 | 63 |
|
Anaheim
|
59 | 28 | 24 | 7 | 63 |
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