The Kings took their fathers on their road trip to Phoenix this past week, capping off the festivities with a grand dinner for the 16 fathers that were on the trip.  I managed to swipe a waiter's outfit and was able to catch a few snippets of conversation.  Here are a few things I saw and heard.  Oh, and before you read, it'd probably help to read this article, or at least look at the picture.

Tim Stoll (Jarret's Dad): So, Raitis, I'm sorry to hear your dad couldn't end up making it, but I thought he was going to.

Raitis Ivanans: Well, I guess he ran into a little problem at Customs and couldn't get into the country.

Tim Stoll:  Really?  What happened?  Does he have a record or something?

Raitis Ivanans: My dad is actually a bear, so...

Tim Stoll: Oh.

 ***

Bob Scuderi (Rob's Dad): Hey, Matjaz, your son's really having a great start this year!

Matjaz Kopitar (Figure it Out): Yes, yes, my young apprentice has truly seen the power of the Dark Side.

Bob Scuderi: Yeah he rea- I'm sorry, did you say Dark Side?

Matjaz Kopitar: Yes, he thought I was mistaken but it turned out he was mistaken, about a great many things!

Bob Scuderi: Uh-huh.  ...Boy, that's a pretty cool cell phone ya got there, is that one of those Droid things?  I thought they weren't supposed to come out for a while?

Matjaz Kopitar: Oh, I'm afraid this cellular phone is quite operational.  Now witness the firepower of this fully ARMED and OPERATIONAL phone!

Bob Scuderi: Hey, that's pretty cool!

Matjaz Kopitar: I know, I can even update my Twitter!  But now I'm sorry, my pathetic Rebel friend, that the time has come; now you will DIE!  Hissssss!!!!

Bob Scuderi: ...Please don't point your fingers at me, Matjaz.

Matjaz Kopitar: Hissssssssss!!!!!!!

Terry Murray: So Alexander, where's your dad, I was kinda hoping to meet him.

Alexander Frolov: *Bursts into tears

Terry Murray: *Slowly backs away

***

Jim Greene (Matt's Dad): So, Cyril, right?  What is it you do?

Cyril Simmonds (Wayne's Dad): Well actually, I was a bit of a hockey player myself.

Jim Greene: Really, you're both hockey players?

Wayne Simmonds: That's right, we're black and we're hockey players.  Let's not make an issue of it.

Cyril Simmonds: No one's making an issue of it, son, you're making an issue of it.

***

Paul Doughty (Drew's Dad): So son, that redesign of SBNation sure does suck, huh?

Drew Doughty: You said it, Pop.

***

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Finish the rest of that steak, son.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I don't wanna, Dad, I'm kinda full.

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Whaddaya mean, you're full?  No son of mine is going to leave a plate with food on it!  C'mon you limp-wristed pussy, eat that steak!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: But Dad, I'm fu-

Jack Johnson, Sr.: *smacks him  I said eat it!

Jack Johnson, Jr.: *crying  Alright, fine, I'll eat it!

Jack Johnson, Sr.: Atta boy.  I don't know what they're teaching you down here, but men from Michigan always finish their plates.

Jack Johnson, Jr.: I hate you, Dad!  I hate you!  *runs away

***

Bryan Brown: So... how are things?

Dustin Brown: ...Good.  Mom?

Bryan Brown: She's fine.  Kids?

Dustin Brown: Cool.

Bryan Brown: ...Yep.

Dustin Brown: ...Yep.

*Both drink at the same time