Getzlaf Vs the Hockey God a Short story by spade

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 10:11 AM PST Comment 81 comments

Edit: This is now the Kings gameday post because holy fuck. -RK

I was watching the conan movies recently and forgot how awesome they were..the effects were cheesy as was the dialogue but I love that kinda shit....like I also like clash of the titans..anyways..since our ducks suck might as well write off topic and write a story about them. I decided to use actual movie quotes from the 2 conan movies..not all the quotes go to the right characters..but who gives a fuck..the quotes are the important thing...of course I altered a little but there like 95% unaltered..I wanted to use pictures but my work blocks me from putting them up so hope the dialogue is enough to entertain you...so without further a due:

Conan Verses the Hockey God

STARRING:

Thulsa Doom

"the Evil Hockey God"

Punishes all franchises who do not back check, take offensive zone penalties the main evil guy

he also kills people with arrows made of snakes and can turn into himself a snake at will...also voices dark vador

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf

"the Barbarian/Destroyer"

incurs the wrath of the Thulsa Doom by doing exactly everything he hates..also gets drunk and punches camels and gets thrown into cages to have sex at others viewing pleasure

Corey "Malak" Perry

"the thief"

talks a lot of shit and takes cheap shots after damage by conan has done the work..is crafty though

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne

"The wizard"

wizard with the puck old but reliable.. comes up with magic when needed

Conan Verses the Hockey God

Thulsa Doom the evil hockey had seen enough from Getzlaf...hed seen his last drop pass in the Defensive zone and decreed:

Thulsa Doom: Infidel Defilers. The Ducks shall all drown in lakes of blood. Pray to me now!!

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf :I have never prayed to you before. I have no tongue for it. No one, not even you, will remember if we were good men or bad. Why we fought, and why we died. All that matters is that today, two stood against many. Valor pleases you, so grant me this one request. Grant me the freedom to make douche plays! And if you do not listen, the HELL with you!

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: To the hellfires with Thulsa Doom. He is evil; a sorcerer who can summon demons. His followers' only purpose is to backcheck in his service. Thousands of them.

teemu conjures up a spell..only for it to hit the crossbar

Corey "Malak" Perry: A fine magician you are! Go back to juggling apples.

Thulsa Doom: My child, you have come to me my son. For who now is your father if it is not me? I am the well spring, from which you cycle the puck. When I am gone, you will have never been. What would your hockey world be, without me? My son.

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf: No one in this world can you trust. Not men, not women, not beasts. [Points to hockey stick.] But this... this you can trust.

Thulsa gets red in the face!!

Corey "Malak" Perry: I think Getz made the hockey god angry.

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: Are you surprised?

Corey "Malak" Perry: But we didn't steal everything he had!

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: We didn't have time

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf takes a swing at the hockey godd and misses..thulsa fires one of his snake arrows and hits getzlaf...though wounded geztlaf gets up

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: I suppose nothing hurts you.

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf : Only pain.

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf: I go where I feel myself led.

Corey "Malak" Perry: So I've noticed.

Corey "Malak" Perry: Why is he trying to kill us?

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf : Maybe he wants to capture us, and torture us to death.

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf: I got a plan huddle around guys

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf: Enough talk!

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne proceeds to skate by thulsa..thulsa takes a swings but misses..regardless teemu acts if hes been hit and takes a dive

Thulsa Doom: what the fuck?

as thulsa looks down at teemu and scracthes his head Corey "Malak" Perry runs him knocking him to the ground

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: NOW!!! Getzlaf he is weaken

Getzlaf using Selannes illegal stick proceeds to bludgeon the hockey god to death

Ryan "conan" Getzlaf: Death to you..I shall continue to try to make creative plays and take penalties whenever I see fit..you cannot stop me anymore

Teemu "Akiro" Selanne: o no

Corey "Malak" Perry: what have we done!!!

3 recs | Comment 81 comments

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Comments

Great stuff, Spade. I’m of a lazy bent today and also don’t really feel like writing about hockey, so instead of a gameday post myself I’m just going to front-page this bad boy, and we can discuss tonight’s game in these comments as well.

Nashville Predators (6-6-1, 13 pts) at Anaheim Ducks (4-7-2, 10 pts), 7 pm
Also: Anaheim Calling on the Ducks and On the Forecheck for the Preds.

Positivity: Since the lockout, the Ducks are 7-0-1 at home against Nashville, outscoring them 31-16.

Go Ducks.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 10:30 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I’m…I’m at a loss…

wow…

Grant me the freedom to make douche plays!

Ryan “conan” Getzlaf doesn’t need to be granted that freedom…he just does it…A LOT.

But that line cracked me up!

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 10:31 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

teemu conjures up a spell..only for it to hit the crossbar

Corey “Malak” Perry: A fine magician you are! Go back to juggling apples.

Ha, this totally fits in with Perry’s nonsense high-pitched yapping. But Corey is on fire, six goals over his last four games — he at least seems woken up.

Just need a few more Ducks to get back into form.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 10:46 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

I definitely have few complaints with that guy right now.

Too bad we don’t have a full team of guys trying to make their way onto team Canada instead of a bunch of guys with guarantees.

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 10:51 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

i had that same thought also..like perry and getz are happy with there cup…just doing enough to get on the canadian team…

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 10:53 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Well, at this point Getzlaf probably has his guarantee…Perry is having to work harder (and IS working harder) to get on the team. Even Bobby Ryan is probably a USA lock…

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 10:55 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

we need more from bobby…whats going on with that guy this year

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 10:56 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I’m not sure if it’s Olympic hunger or not, but whatever the reason, the Ducks don’t have enough guys willing to battle like this:

Perry’s been great in front of the net especially the last few games, not sure if anybody else has really attempted it (well, Parros that one time).

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 10:56 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

(well, Parros that one time).

that made me chuckle.

I find that disturbing. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll take a patient perry goal any day, but I’d really love it if we started getting more than just cheap dirty goals. It would make me feel a little better about the fact that we have apparenlty have offense and might boost their esteem as well.

This also goes back to this whole concept of shooting the puck at the fucking net instead of two feet wide. Something that they apparently enjoy doing.

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 11:05 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

BTW, I really like the how bent Perry’s stick is in that photo — shows how tough he’s battling, plus it demonstrates something we all know — how little he cares about the opposition goalie.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 11:05 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

how little he cares about the opposition goalie.

I kinda like that Perry more than Patient Perry. But whichever one it is that scores goals more is tops in my book.

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 11:06 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I like that there’s options — versatile Perry, the best of both worlds. The way he’s playing now, Canada should definitely take him.

Especially since I imagine Team Canada can kill penalties.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 11:15 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

in theory we played the pens somewhat well..does that mean we win tonite?

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 10:56 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

If the Ducks play like they did on Tuesday, it could be a good result — just it’s been tough to say what sort of team will show up, game-to-game.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 10:58 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

It all depends on how much of a competition they think the Pred are.

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 11:01 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

heres one of the images i wanted to add…here is thulsa doom the evil hockey god..what shock to the nuts would this be to any hockey player:

bow to me ye hockey peasents!!

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 11:03 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

This is now the Kings gameday as well. Spade is awesome.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 5, 2009 11:03 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

thanx…i will not go toss off in the bathroom to celebrate

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 11:05 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Nice. It is kind of an achievement — all three BoC teams play games today, and this may be the only thing posted.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 11:07 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Former Duck Shane O’Brien suspended a game for making contact with Avery while both players were on the bench?

Video, photo here.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 11:23 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

What in the blue fuck just happened here?

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Nov 5, 2009 11:42 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, i just read it again, and I’m having a mind status = blown kinda moment here. I think my brain just got unplugged.

Selanne hitting the crossbar was GREAT. You rock, Spade.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Nov 5, 2009 11:46 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Also, in the spirit of this thread, I humbly submit this video. I giggled and giggled and e-mailed it to everyone I know.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 5, 2009 12:01 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

ole’

hooked on quack

by tu madre on Nov 5, 2009 12:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Eh, if we’re sidetracking, here’s a dumb video I can’t stop watching. Go get ’em, baby.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 12:49 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

What is with you and dogs dude?

Man that was gay.

by Mike in OC on Nov 5, 2009 2:41 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Mambo Fro Plays Songs Of Love

Okay, I’m so not worthy of the stories that get posted here, but your video combined with my Fro-love and produced this:

TM: Look here. I want you to study this mambo dog footage, Alex. Look at the fire in those eyes. The spring in those paws. He has 100% commitment. He is a TEAM PLAYER. He is good on the backcheck. And more importantly, he does ever-y-thing his trainer tells him to. Every single night.
Fro: …
TM: Do you understand me?! I brought this to inspire you. Mambo Dog. Be the mambo dog!
Fro: (looks at the screen blankly)
TM: Dammit, say something!
Fro: …um…yes, Coach?
TM: This is what I want from you. And this time—THIS TIME I’d better get a response. (storms out)
Fro: This is not how we do things in Russia.
_
(Later, Penguins game day: pre-warm-up)

Dusty: Uh…Fro, what the FUCK is that over your hockey pants?
Smitty: The HELL—?
Fro: It’s my mambo skirt. Something I work on. Watch. (launches into dance routine)
Kopi: Uh. Fro. I don’t think this is the time.
Fro: (smiling, oblivious to the sea of WTF faces) Zeus, get ready to do a lift!
(Handzus backs slowly away)
Smitty: Are you SERIOUS? Are you SHITTING me? This is how you prepare for a game against the Stanley Cup champions? TWIRLING?
Fro: Coach said—
Smitty: No! I wanted to play for a SERIOUS TEAM, and this is what I get? Mambo! And FRILLY SKIRTS! (bashes stick against the wall and storms out) Some kind of winning culture!

TM (enters): What was tha—oh my God.
Fro (still dancing): See! I watch the dog for hours! Big finish now. (does flip) TA DAAAAAA.

(silence for a full twenty seconds while Fro does jazzhands)

TM: Everybody out. No. Wait. You stay; Fro goes.
Fro (crestfallen): It’s no good? But I try so hard.
TM: Shut up. I’ve never seen anything more anti-team, or anti-coach, in all my life. You think it’s funny? Go do your dance at home, or back in Russia, for all I care. You’re benched. And so is anyone who will not learn to take me seriously!
Fro (hanging head) I…I…t-think we have some problems talking.
TM: Oh, blaming it on me now?! Or the language? GO HOME. BAD DOG. VERY BAD DOG.
Fro (very softly): Also, I think now my hip flexor is sore?
TM: GAH!!!
_
(Later)

Rich Hammond: So, Alex, do you understand why you were benched?
Fro (averting eyes): I guess, I mean, I wasn’t a good enough mambo dog.
Rich: Huh?
Fro: Of course I’m disappointed. Any time you have a chance to be out there, of course you want to be. But it’s the coach’s decision. And…I think maybe we have different personalities. I thought the routine was good. But no biscuits for me.
Rich: …
Fro: Inside, I am so sad.

Pumper-nicholl!

by Niesy on Nov 5, 2009 3:44 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Fro: Inside, I am so sad.

tee-hee

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 3:59 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I’m so not worthy of the stories that get posted here

Nonsense — nicely done. Your spelling is impeccable. :)

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 4:07 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

a full twenty seconds while Fro does jazzhands

Get out the checkbook and pay Grandma for the rubdown!!! I think Niesy just found the perfect post-goal celebration for Fro going forward! Nothing says passionate hockey player like Showtunes and Interpretive Jazz Dancing!

Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...

by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 5, 2009 4:52 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

jesus

I’ve been lurking on the various incarnations of BoC for about three years now, so while it’s startling that I would delurk for a Spade post (of all things), I just had to. Because I haven’t stopped laughing and doing retarded seal claps for an entire hour. I couldn’t even tell you which part I enjoyed the most. I wish this were actually on my tv.

by gmh on Nov 5, 2009 1:04 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

well a lot of credit goes to rudy cuz i jacked his format style among other things..

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 1:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

and earl for posting it..

so our line combination is a +1 hehe

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 1:18 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

GMH, I like that it took you an hour to read Spade’s post.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 5, 2009 1:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

some of his grammar choices were interesting

by gmh on Nov 5, 2009 2:02 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

u must be new..thats how i roll

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 2:23 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

HAHAHAHAHA, you just beat me to the punch!

The grammar was perfect “Spade”

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 2:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

hey at least u guys know it was me and I didnt copy this from someone

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 2:27 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

oh yea…this had SPADE writen all over it!

GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter

by SK eleven on Nov 5, 2009 2:27 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Was Spade the author or the little asian girl from the Windows commercials?

by Nut on Nov 5, 2009 2:29 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs

Pay attention Steve Ballmer...

“MyNameIsSpadeAndILoveConanTheBarbarianAndGettingPissedOnBooze!!!”

2009-10 LA Kings Hockey: Where Smyt Happens!!

by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 5, 2009 2:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

i also cheap women

oh and i love..lamp

i love lamp

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 3:00 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Do you really love the lamp, or are you just saying it because you saw it?

by gmh on Nov 5, 2009 3:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

nah, I've read your posts before

by gmh on Nov 5, 2009 2:30 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

i think im most embaressed by spelling darth vador’s name wrong…thats just wrong hes a legend

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 2:35 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

it's okay

I think we all knew what you meant

by gmh on Nov 5, 2009 2:41 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Spade’s style of writing is “impressionistic.” Upon close scrutiny, it makes little to no sense. You have to take a step back and look at the whole, and then it’s brilliant!

Fantastic post, Claude. (Splaude?)

by g r a c e on Nov 5, 2009 3:31 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

This is so fucking awesome, Spade! You are way too deranged & twisted to be a Duck fan. There will always be a seat saved for you on the Kings Bandwagon by yours truly.

2009-10 LA Kings Hockey: Where Smyt Happens!!

by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 5, 2009 1:29 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

The only thing that would have made it even more magical is you had inserted:

Ryan “conan” Getzlaf takes a swing at the hockey godd and misses..thulsa fires one of his snake arrows and hits getzlaf…though wounded geztlaf gets up

Teemu “Akiro” Selanne: I suppose nothing hurts you.

Ryan “conan” Getzlaf : ~~Only pain.~~ Pain don’t hurt

Don't bRuin your life. Practice safe sex. Make love with a Trojan

by Morbo on Nov 5, 2009 2:12 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

HEHE

i tried to stay as close to the quotes as i could..at the time conan was drunk when he told the princess that….so look at in that context…he was all over the place in that conversation

he ended up running inTO bombada (who was played by wilt chamberlian) and knocking out cold drunk it was a great scene

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 2:20 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hilarious. Nicely done Spade. =)

by JohnQPhats on Nov 5, 2009 2:41 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

also gets drunk and punches camels and gets thrown into cages to have sex at others viewing pleasure

You almost make me wish I were a Ducks fan now. ALMOST.

Bravo, Spade, this was freaking genius. I love storytimes at BoC.

Pumper-nicholl!

by Niesy on Nov 5, 2009 2:44 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

i wish i made that up…but i didnt its in the movies!!

Ducks blow old goats right now but....GO DUCKS!!! for shits and giggles!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 5, 2009 2:48 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I know…I just thought maybe the Ducks might use that as inspiration for their between-period entertainment. I would go!

Pumper-nicholl!

by Niesy on Nov 5, 2009 3:49 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Heck, I’m starting to think that the next SoCal match-up is going to be must-see. The players come to the ice and the audience is just beginning to wonder what the fuck is going on with Frolov’s Mambo routine when the Ducks start hauling the camels in. That’s when the fun begins.

by Malurous on Nov 5, 2009 9:06 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

At some point I’m going to need to see a six-part Star Wars saga of these things. Pronger would probably be Darth Vader.

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 5, 2009 4:19 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

I think Carlyle. He looks just like Vader when he takes his helmet off in Jedi.

by Nut on Nov 5, 2009 4:38 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

That is true. But Pronger has that aura of evil which is why I was thinking him.

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 5, 2009 5:51 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

True. Vader was also redeemed in the end hopefully that doesn’t mean Philly wins the cup.

by Nut on Nov 5, 2009 6:17 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Just a general FYI — I won’t be around for game comments tonight. Trying out my other good luck charm — choir practice night. Have fun!

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 6:16 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

WTF – Ted Purcell Sr’s ’stache looks fake as hell. Like he just pasted it on. He needs Groucho glasses and a nose too.

At least they’re talking about it in an interview, that’s great.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Nov 5, 2009 8:23 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Fantastic pass by Koivu!! And Selanne with the goal! 2-0 Ducks! Please oh please hold this lead!!

by g r a c e on Nov 5, 2009 9:11 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Woohoo Leprechaun!

by g r a c e on Nov 5, 2009 9:14 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

A big win? I can definitely watch this on the ol’ DVR now.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 9:53 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Yeah, enjoy it. It wasn’t perfect — why do the goals come like ketchup when they’re already up by a couple? — but the PK was strong and Hiller was fantastic. Of course, the Preds were playing without Weber and Erat, but still, a win is a win is a win. No complaining here.

(Ugh, but watching the Kings beat up on the Penguins is killing the glow a little bit. You called it, Earl.)

by g r a c e on Nov 5, 2009 10:04 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

These days, a win is more than a win, it’s a downright miracle — none of them are ugly this year, I think.

And yeah, we love setting up teams for losses against the Kings. Oh well, fuck the Pens.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 5, 2009 10:08 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Hayward walked the line tonight, the line between broadcast homer and just-pointing-out-East-Coast-Bias. Watching it is like “Come on Hayward, we’ve heard enough of— well that is true.”

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 6, 2009 3:43 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

OMG it is so sweet to be listening to the Penguins feed right now…totally giving love to Frolov, Simmonds, and Doughty for grinding it out low…and of course there’s Raccoonboy the wonderkind! DAYUM!

Hang on there kids…

Pumper-nicholl!

by Niesy on Nov 5, 2009 9:52 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

Anze Kopitar toys with the Penguins

by Nut on Nov 6, 2009 8:00 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Kings Win! Kings Win!

Your three stars of the game:

3) Windows 7 commercial girl

2) Thulsa Doom

1) MAMBO DOG!!!!!

Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...

by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 6, 2009 8:22 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

Behind Enemy Lines

I went behind enemy lines last night and went to the Staples Center. Fuck, the Kings are good this season. 4 goals in the 3rd period and just about all of them were from great plays. That arena is pretty much the opitome of LA. It’s crowded, the parking sucks (the parking garage smells like weed), traffic sucks, it’s up beat, and it’s loud. I liked it. Their fans were pretty cool. After the game I watched this guy play some buckets like drums. It was probably one of the best street performances I’ve ever seen. It was nice seeing the Kings beat the Pens after they beat us. I think we can take most of the credit, because we sort of tenderized them on Tuesday. =P

I didn’t catch the Ducks game for obvious reasons. Judging by the score, it looked like a slaughter. Someone fill me in, was it a justified slaughter or were the Preds just playing like shit?

by JohnQPhats on Nov 6, 2009 8:24 AM PST reply actions 0 recs

hiller was great. PK was great.

A win is good.

hooked on quack

by tu madre on Nov 6, 2009 8:45 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

I watched the game on late-night DVR, it wasn’t truly a blowout until late in the 3rd — most of the game was played at 1-0 Ducks.

There was obviously some good — penalty killing was effective, and there was generally good performances from all the forward lines. Some bad — Ducks allowed 40 shots, but it wasn’t that obvious, not a ton of huge Hiller stops.

But it was a crippled Nashville team, sort of like the crippled Vancouver team, and so it’s tough to figure where this puts the Ducks. The Preds definitely had some lapses — when Selanne and Marchant both scored on the same 4-on-4 they were left amazingly alone in front of the Preds’ net.

A win is definitely good, though — can’t take any of these for granted.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Nov 6, 2009 8:47 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

There was obviously some good — penalty killing was effective, and there was generally good performances from all the forward lines. Some bad — Ducks allowed 40 shots, but it wasn’t that obvious, not a ton of huge Hiller stops

It’s really nice to see that our PK is developing. I really saw that as a major weakness in all the games we lost. That probably means that our defense is waking up. Nice to hear. =)

by JohnQPhats on Nov 6, 2009 9:08 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Having your computer crash absolutely sucks.

So, what’s happened in the past couple weeks since my computer died? Except for the Kings going 6-0-2 and the Ducks beating Nashville?

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??

by Kevin Y on Nov 6, 2009 1:02 PM PST reply actions 0 recs

KY-

You missed Denis Gauthier winning the Lady Bing trophy.

Craig Conroy stole my H1N1 vaccine...

by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 6, 2009 1:19 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ah, holy fuck. I think hell’s frozen over.

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??

by Kevin Y on Nov 6, 2009 1:57 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Good, probably means there’ll be hockey when we get there.

Lol, just kidding. This post was a complete lie.

by brokenyard on Nov 6, 2009 7:46 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

team captain……. I call team captain.

hooked on quack

by tu madre on Nov 6, 2009 8:24 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

Ironically, wouldn’t the person asking/begging to be team captain actually be the worst choice for team captain?

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.
Get out of LA and never come back. Or sign with Anaheim... PLEASE??

by Kevin Y on Nov 6, 2009 10:26 PM PST up reply actions 0 recs

haha probably.

but I called it.

you cant triple stamp a double stamp lloyd!

hooked on quack

by tu madre on Nov 7, 2009 9:39 AM PST up reply actions 0 recs

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Pacific Standings

	GP	W	L	OTL	PT
San Jose Fear The Fin	59	39	11	9	87
Phoenix Five For Howling	60	36	19	5	77
Los Angeles Jewels From The Crown	59	36	20	3	75
Dallas Defending Big D	58	26	21	11	63
Anaheim Anaheim Calling	59	28	24	7	63