I'll Never Understand
by RudyKelly on Feb 9, 2009 3:12 PM PST
29 comments
There are 3 things in this world I will never understand: Jews for Jesus, having more than 4 pillows on a bed*, and being a fan. Now, I haven't been able to catch a full Kings game since before the All-Star break. I recently moved so I haven't had cable or internet. My life was reduced to catching random game clips on other people's unprotected routers and occasionally checking the scores through my phone. I don't want to be overdramatic, but I literally almost died. It's tough when you spend, oh, 2 hours a day focusing on something and then it's gone in a flash. But I've recovered and now I'm ready to watch the Kings again. Here's the question, though: should I?
*I only have 2 pillows on my bed: one for me, and one for any lady friend that I deem worthy of my company. Some people need two pillows to sleep, which is kind of weird and uncomfortable but whatever. But I knew a girl that had 9 Goddamn pillows on her bed. 9. Nine. My first thought was, "What the fuck, how many people sleep in this bed?" because I'm down to party but I'm not really the kind of girl that's going to get involved in some sort of orgy. Then, and this really blew my mind, she did the following: she took 7 pillows off the bed, we slept, and then put them back on in the morning. Now, if you're me, you're asking yourself, "Holy God, what possible reason could there be for so many pillows if you're not going to use them???" Is it supposed to be cosmetic, because it makes you look like an idiot with too much time on your hands. Is there some sort of benefit I'm not seeing here? A strange girl with wonderful boobs, she was.
You see, since I stopped watching the Kings have gone 6-1, with their one loss a tragedy of officiating in Montreal. I'm a pretty smart guy (I have a favorite philosopher and properly use the word "truncated" in sentences, for example) and I know the Kings' recent success has nothing to do with me, but I still can't shake the feeling that they're winning because I'm not watching. Consider this: my two favorite sports teams are the Dodgers and the Kings. I started watching the Dodgers right after 1988; they haven't been competitive since. I started watching the Kings in 1992; you know how that went. Since I've been a sports fan, not one team I've cared passionately about has won anything. Maybe if I stop watching the Kings, they'll win.
Of course, and this is the part about fandom I'll never understand, I don't care if the Kings win and I'm not watching. I care about the Kings a lot, but I don't care about them, if that makes sense. If you were to give me two timelines, one where the Kings form a dynasty but I don't get to share in it and one where they never win a Stanley Cup but I get to watch, I'm picking that 2nd option every time. I want them to win so badly but not as badly as I want to experience that journey, I guess. I'd rather watch losing than not watch winning. It doesn't make sense, but maybe that's why I love sports so much: it's the one area of life that I can't make sense of. That and Jews for Jesus. I don't understand, aren't they Christians?
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Rudy, don’t attribute the Kings’ recent success to your inability to watch. Go with the Sleek-provided stat that shows the Kings with a 6-1 record since Obama took office.
Because change* has come to the Los Angeles Kings.
- Change = Jack Johnson
by Alexander Dubcek on Feb 9, 2009 4:01 PM PST reply actions
Aha! Another victim of SBN’s “let me turn that asterisk into something less useful for you” gimmick.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
footnotes
I challenge you to read anything by David Foster Wallace. He got famous recently for hanging himself. But before that, he got famous for his liberal use of footnotes and sidebars. A Supposedly Fun Things I’ll Never Do Again is a good one to try first. Just don’t start with Infinite Jest, as it is 1,000+ pages… or 200 if you don’t read the footnotes. Or 800 of just the footnotes, and frankly, I like his footnotes even better.
Jack Johnson is a man
But even more important is that the Kings realized you have to score to win games. Before they were content to score one and give up, but now they’re scoring in bunches. That and Jonathan Quick is beastly.
but I’m not really the kind of girl that’s going to get involved in some sort of orgy.
So, Rudy’s “man cock” is actually a giant labia? Learn a new thing every day.
I’m right on board with not watching winning- the thing about fandom is that you have a “stake” in the win by tuning in every game etc. Time is an investment, and the more you pour in the more you get out of it. If you’re just receiving tweets on your phone, why bother?
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
but I’m not really the kind of girl that’s going to get involved in some sort of orgy.
I noticed the same thing…I had to read it twice. I’m wondering what word is missing? I bet is should read…
I’m not really against the kind of girl that’s going to get involved in some sort of orgy.
I’d rather watch losing than not watch winning
I’d rather experience the journey as well…what’s the point otherwise? I’d consider not watching if it meant winning. It wouldn’t take me long to decide to watch…because I find it insanely difficult NOT to watch.
I only have 2 pillows on my bed: one for me, and one for any lady friend that I deem worthy of my company.
I only have two as well…
A lady friend you deem worthy? hahaha…really?!
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
but I’m not really the kind of girl that’s going to get involved in some sort of orgy.
Is there anything that you put on your BoC Author Application that is true, then?
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Ok Plank
if you speak from experience of actually getting tweets on your cellphone, I’m going to have to change the way I feel about you.
(I only have Twitter ‘cause it’s part of my job as a new media scholar to keep up with new communication and social technology. That is my story, and I’m sticking to it.)
Haha no I don’t use Twitter (although coincidentally I might start- I got an email today explaining some benefits for using it from a company that specializes in sports only tweets or whatever). It was actually a reference to Rudy’s older post.
I guess now that I’m here, the “man cock” comment was also a reference to this post. I’ve never seen Rudy’s man cock, and judging by some new light shed on the situation, it’s questionable as to whether it even exists.
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
glad I’m not the only one who caught that, but nevermind :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Feb 9, 2009 9:46 PM PST up reply actions
Dear RudyKelly, please jump on the bandwagon of the following teams
1. Detroit Red Wings
2. Boston Bruins
3. Boston Red Sox
4. Dallas Stars
Also, I’d appreciate it if you continue watching (or not) your Dodgers and Kings.
Sincerely,
Sharks / Yankees / Giants fan
Fear the Fin: Keeping you from your obligations since 2008
And for the record
I’m a chick and I don’t understand the pillow thing. I only have two pillows on my bed: one I use and one to not make it look so sad that I only need one pillow on my bed.
Girls on this blog don't count
They’re sports fans – they’re already exceptions to the rule. So when they say “I don’t get the pillow thing either” well that doesn’t surprise me. But the majority of women, who hate sports/think its a waste of time, I bet they all need at LEAST four pillows.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
Girls on this blog don’t count
They’re sports fans – they’re already exceptions to the rule.
I feel like this deserves some response…but I’m not sure if I’m supposed to be offended or flattered?
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
And yeah, Jews for Jesus are actually Pat-Robertson-like Christians who have made it their mission to convert Jews, so they emphasize great things about Jewish culture and I think even call themselves Jewish, mainly for cultural/heritage reasons.
Have you ever heard the joke:
Q: What do you call a Jew that doesn’t believe in God?
A: A Jew.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
we’re the idiots? dude! I think you’ve made it clear in all your posts, that you have the issues. we are just here for the ride :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Feb 9, 2009 9:49 PM PST up reply actions
I'm curious ...
which type of women do you find “worthy” of your company? you brought up the topic, I just want to fill in the missing gaps. :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Feb 9, 2009 9:50 PM PST reply actions
From what I know about Rudy, I’d guess that his basic guidelines are:
1. Mammal
2. Female
3. Must have been alive sometime within the previous 48 hours.
4. If she’s hot, #3 is negligible.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Ha!
4. If she’s hot, #3 is negligible.
I’d express outrage at #4, but “people who live in glass houses…”
Lighthouse Hockey: an SB Nation New York Islanders blog with hip issues.
Hey, I have five pillows on my bed: three under my head, and two off to the side against the wall (my bed’s in the corner of my room) just to see if they’re still there when I wake up in the morning… they usually aren’t.
Don’t feel bad, Rudy. I haven’t seen a full Kings game since the Lightning game back almost a freaking month ago. The most I’ve seen or heard Bob Miller or Jim Fox was yesterday, on the NHL Live re-broadcast on NHL Network (since they’re in NYC for tonight’s game, they were guest hosts on the show)… won’t see this one either. Fuck work, fuck school, I just wanna see my Kings, now that they’re actually winning!!*
*Well, maybe they’re winning because I’m not watching the games. Fuck, I guess I’ll make the sacrifice!
I’m really hoping I get the SBN asterisks right. Haven’t screwed up yet, and I’m not about ready to start fucking up.**
**I just realized that there’s a “PREVIEW” button right in this post box, so we don’t we ever use it? But lo and behold, it appears I’ve gotten it right. So, here I go….
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You deserved that 5-game suspension.
Yeah I use that all the time, but still it gets you sometimes*
- For example, now.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
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