Bubble update: a Marxist wet dream


Marx_medium

Note: Picking out "the best" Marx photo is like finding your favorite patch of pubic hair: pointless and stinky. Wait, what?

Good old fashioned capitalist blogging can be found after the jump.

Soooo ye olde bubble updates took a week off as the trade deadline made me actually think. Which SUCKED.

And, naturally, nothing that once made sense continues to be sensible. Up is down. Fat is hot. Kings make the play- OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.

But, really, things have changed a lot. Before there is any "sense made out of this mess" let's just stare at the Western Conference standings and feel blood coming out of our collective ears:

Western Conference
    GP W L OTL PTS GF GA PP% PK% HOME AWAY L10
San Jose 64 42 12 10 94 210 159 24.3 83.1 26-3-4 16-9-6 5-4-1
Detroit 66 43 15 8 94 244 197 26.7 77.5 24-5-3 19-10-5 6-3-1
Calgary 66 39 21 6 84 215 198 18.8 84.8 22-8-4 17-13-2 6-3-1
Chicago 64 36 19 9 81 212 167 21.4 81.5 17-6-6 19-13-3 5-4-1
Vancouver 65 34 23 8 76 195 181 18.6 79.1 18-11-4 16-12-4 8-2-0
Columbus 66 33 27 6 72 183 186 12.8 81.6 20-10-2 13-17-4 5-4-1
Edmonton 65 32 27 6 70 184 199 16.7 76.6 15-12-4 17-15-2 4-4-2
Nashville 66 33 29 4 70 170 183 14.1 84.3 21-11-2 12-18-2 6-3-1
  Dallas 66 31 27 8 70 191 202 16.1 80.0 17-13-4 14-14-4 3-6-1
  Minnesota 65 32 28 5 69 167 157 20.4 87.9 18-11-5 14-17-0 4-4-2
  Anaheim 67 31 30 6 68 186 197 21.1 80.1 15-15-3 16-15-3 3-6-1
  Los Angeles 66 29 28 9 67 176 193 20.3 81.9 16-13-8 13-15-1 4-6-0
  St. Louis 65 29 28 8 66 180 194 20.8 81.9 16-12-5 13-16-3 6-3-1
  Phoenix 66 28 33 5 61 164 202 14.2 77.9 17-13-2 11-20-3 3-7-0
  Colorado 66 29 36 1 59 178 208 16.2 79.6 17-15-0 12-21-1 4-6-0

Yeeee-ikes.

The Stars and Ducks are teams that embody the playoff bubble. One game, they can beat the Red Wings, Sharks or any other team in the NHL. Then they crap the bed on a pivotal home stand. In other words, like the playoff picture, they never make any goddamn sense.

Steve Sullivan and the Nashville Predators' resurgence would be a huge story if, you know, newspapers existed anymore. (Why do I hurt the things I love the most? Actually I'm quite nice to porn.)

Vancouver looks the safest, which is mind blowing considering the fact that they were possibly the worst team in the NHL during the month of January.


Funny_homeless_man_medium

He can't be that hungry if he's smart enough to use reverse psychology. Right?

So, what do we do at this point? Here: get a slip of paper for each team: Vancouver, Columbus, Edmonton, Nashville, Dallas, Minnesota, Anaheim - and fuck it, Los Angeles and St. Louis too. Then throw out Minnesota, LA and STL (Heh). Then get that alcoholic hobo to pick four pieces out of your hat. Stop him from eating the pieces of paper and congrats! You know have today's bubble update.

I mean, shit.

Maybe it will make more sense next week.

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