Bubble update: a Marxist wet dream
by jamestobrien on Mar 10, 2009 9:00 AM PDT
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Note: Picking out "the best" Marx photo is like finding your favorite patch of pubic hair: pointless and stinky. Wait, what?
Good old fashioned capitalist blogging can be found after the jump.
Soooo ye olde bubble updates took a week off as the trade deadline made me actually think. Which SUCKED.
And, naturally, nothing that once made sense continues to be sensible. Up is down. Fat is hot. Kings make the play- OK, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit.
But, really, things have changed a lot. Before there is any "sense made out of this mess" let's just stare at the Western Conference standings and feel blood coming out of our collective ears:
| Western Conference | |||||||||||||
| GP | W | L | OTL | PTS | GF | GA | PP% | PK% | HOME | AWAY | L10 | ||
| 1 | San Jose | 64 | 42 | 12 | 10 | 94 | 210 | 159 | 24.3 | 83.1 | 26-3-4 | 16-9-6 | 5-4-1 |
| 2 | Detroit | 66 | 43 | 15 | 8 | 94 | 244 | 197 | 26.7 | 77.5 | 24-5-3 | 19-10-5 | 6-3-1 |
| 3 | Calgary | 66 | 39 | 21 | 6 | 84 | 215 | 198 | 18.8 | 84.8 | 22-8-4 | 17-13-2 | 6-3-1 |
| 4 | Chicago | 64 | 36 | 19 | 9 | 81 | 212 | 167 | 21.4 | 81.5 | 17-6-6 | 19-13-3 | 5-4-1 |
| 5 | Vancouver | 65 | 34 | 23 | 8 | 76 | 195 | 181 | 18.6 | 79.1 | 18-11-4 | 16-12-4 | 8-2-0 |
| 6 | Columbus | 66 | 33 | 27 | 6 | 72 | 183 | 186 | 12.8 | 81.6 | 20-10-2 | 13-17-4 | 5-4-1 |
| 7 | Edmonton | 65 | 32 | 27 | 6 | 70 | 184 | 199 | 16.7 | 76.6 | 15-12-4 | 17-15-2 | 4-4-2 |
| 8 | Nashville | 66 | 33 | 29 | 4 | 70 | 170 | 183 | 14.1 | 84.3 | 21-11-2 | 12-18-2 | 6-3-1 |
 |
|||||||||||||
| Dallas | 66 | 31 | 27 | 8 | 70 | 191 | 202 | 16.1 | 80.0 | 17-13-4 | 14-14-4 | 3-6-1 | |
| Minnesota | 65 | 32 | 28 | 5 | 69 | 167 | 157 | 20.4 | 87.9 | 18-11-5 | 14-17-0 | 4-4-2 | |
| Anaheim | 67 | 31 | 30 | 6 | 68 | 186 | 197 | 21.1 | 80.1 | 15-15-3 | 16-15-3 | 3-6-1 | |
| Los Angeles | 66 | 29 | 28 | 9 | 67 | 176 | 193 | 20.3 | 81.9 | 16-13-8 | 13-15-1 | 4-6-0 | |
| St. Louis | 65 | 29 | 28 | 8 | 66 | 180 | 194 | 20.8 | 81.9 | 16-12-5 | 13-16-3 | 6-3-1 | |
| Phoenix | 66 | 28 | 33 | 5 | 61 | 164 | 202 | 14.2 | 77.9 | 17-13-2 | 11-20-3 | 3-7-0 | |
| Colorado | 66 | 29 | 36 | 1 | 59 | 178 | 208 | 16.2 | 79.6 | 17-15-0 | 12-21-1 | 4-6-0 | |
Yeeee-ikes.
The Stars and Ducks are teams that embody the playoff bubble. One game, they can beat the Red Wings, Sharks or any other team in the NHL. Then they crap the bed on a pivotal home stand. In other words, like the playoff picture, they never make any goddamn sense.
Steve Sullivan and the Nashville Predators' resurgence would be a huge story if, you know, newspapers existed anymore. (Why do I hurt the things I love the most? Actually I'm quite nice to porn.)
Vancouver looks the safest, which is mind blowing considering the fact that they were possibly the worst team in the NHL during the month of January.
He can't be that hungry if he's smart enough to use reverse psychology. Right?
So, what do we do at this point? Here: get a slip of paper for each team: Vancouver, Columbus, Edmonton, Nashville, Dallas, Minnesota, Anaheim - and fuck it, Los Angeles and St. Louis too. Then throw out Minnesota, LA and STL (Heh). Then get that alcoholic hobo to pick four pieces out of your hat. Stop him from eating the pieces of paper and congrats! You know have today's bubble update.
I mean, shit.
Maybe it will make more sense next week.
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i can tell u who wont make it..the ducks…..they have clue or system..thats working right now….bad time to being still figurig things out…thats what training camp or even the begining of the season is for
the only hope was for the new guys to light a spark….like what has happened witht he penguins in the east…(how may games in a row now?) and that has not happened….this team i think will rebound next year…after some restructuring with either our system…or new coach..or just heavy practice time..
El Spade-o
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 10, 2009 9:55 AM PDT reply actions
favorite patch of pubic hair
uh … must be a guy thing. but nevermind.
And wow the Pacific division sure has become lopsided. One way up there, the rest trying to get to the top 8. I’m sure the Ducks and Stars will find a way into the playoffs. Ducks especially. It would be odd for them not to be there.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Mar 10, 2009 9:58 AM PDT reply actions
I’m sure the Ducks and Stars will find a way into the playoffs. Ducks especially. It would be odd for them not to be there.
I don’t know what’s worse for the Ducks and Stars: to miss the playoffs, or to know that the Blue Jackets and Oilers are the teams in their slots.
It would be weird to see either of those teams miss out, let alone both of them, but I think I’ll move on.
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You deserved that 5-game suspension.
I agree with Spade as far as the Ducks go. From what I’ve seen lately, there’s something seriously wrong with that team. And they often seem like they don’t even try.
I’m pulling for the Jackets all the way. Their fans really deserve a playoff spot after putting up with Doug MacLean for seven friggin years. Besides, BJs are cool.
heres the funny the thing…i like the players we have…and im not sure they are the problem..i just think there are not being put in the situation to suceed…case in point kunitz….always liked him…blue collar guy…gets his nose dirty…etc….hes on our team…this year….in which i belive the coaching staff hasnt been making the right adjustments and/or not pushing the right buttons…etc…he goes to pittsburgh…and bam…hes making in impact over there….? sure we dont have crosby or malkin…but shit we got getzlaf? bobby ryan…soewhat comparable skill…so whats the difference?….makes u think right?…i know sleek would blame the players not executing rc’s plan that just worked 2 years ago…..but maybe…just maybe…the rest of the leauge caught on to waht rc was doing?…and adjusted?….if moen, sami, montador also prosper elsewhere…perhaps my theory will be correct..well see..im gonna keep an eye on boxscores and blogs…see what there up to…there a little harder to track since..there good performance isnt usally tied to point scoring..well c…so yes…yes im blaming the coaching…the ducks look stupid and lazy…but maybe there just in a shit system and they know it.. i dunno..wish i had the answers
El Spade-o
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 10, 2009 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions
I always wonder if RC is a good coach or not. Even the Cup winning team took a lot of bad penalties but was so stacked it didn’t matter. They’ve been jarringly mediocre since raising the chalice. Is that RC’s fault? Not completely but he probably bares some of the blame.
by jamestobrien on Mar 10, 2009 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions
You know, the cup team was diverse. At least that’s how I saw it.
If you trapped them then they would dump the puck in and win all the battles in the corners – particularly the Getz – Perry – Penner line. they were murder in the corners.
If you opened it up, you get burned by the speed of the Mcdoland Selanne line.
Sammy’s line closed the door on all the opositions top lines, they played out of thier mind. Add the defense and the transition game they provided, It was the complete package. Nothing good ever lasts forever.
The thing about todays team to me is, it’s starting to look more like that 07 unit. Ebbet & Teemu with Ryan seems like a skill line to replace that McDonald Line. But like all year I see something that gives me hope and then the team shits it’s pants. And it different people fucking up at different times. When Jiggy shows up, Scott screws up, when Scott plays out of his mind, Teemu plays like crap. When Jiggy Screws up, Ryan scores a hat trick, When Marchant ties the game with a shorty, RC decides to play his zero DEF line and coughs up the lead. etc.
good point that hasnt been made…..seems like the whole team doesnt play well all at once….what pisses u off is you see flashes of hope…
El Spade-o
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 10, 2009 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m pulling for the Jackets all the way. Their fans really deserve a playoff spot after putting up with Doug MacLean for seven friggin years. Besides, BJs are cool.
Would love to see the Jackets make the playoffs, and they’re honestly my pick for a first round upset. I don’t know how likely that is considering the top three are really good teams, but for some reason I’ve got this feeling.
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
as long as they aren’t upsetting the Sharks I’m all good with it :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Mar 10, 2009 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions
If you’re asking for help…
oh god no! no no no no no!!!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Mar 10, 2009 11:45 AM PDT up reply actions
Haha, actually the Karl Marx beard just made me think of a big gross rain forest of pubes.
I’m glad I could help shed some light on that for you.
Do you ever consider what people long ago must’ve done with theirs? I mean, they must’ve been the kings of dingleberries, even the girls, right? As people were more modest about nudity, did they do anything different with it? Or maybe the reason they were so modest is because they were wearing fur underwear? I dunno, but these are the things that occur to me, that really shouldn’t.
shouldn’t that be a private conversation?? ugh!!! like listening to my boys at times. (sighs)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Mar 10, 2009 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Middle ages, maybe they were modest. But “long ago” is broad. Ancient Greece and Rome had tons of nude statues, some even with raging hard-ons. And they had “clothes thieves” who would try to steal your chiton (incorrectly called togas by fraternities everywhere) and if they succeeded, you went about your daily business naked.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
I know a lot of random stuff, but I definitely did not know about clothes thieves literally taking the toga chiton right off your back.
This is something we need to bring back. Immediately.
Well women weren’t normally allowed in public without a male escort, so it was mostly done to men.
Also, I won’t explain what it is, but Pedastry is something that definitely needs to stay in ancient Greece.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
“Now I know that and you know that, but someone in Washington is bucking for a promotion. … Must be that pederast, Hanrahan.”
—Fletch
Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.
Plus I spelled it wrong so you won’t be able to go look up what it means.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
If I got my choice,
I would hope that LA, ANA, CBJ, and EDM go.
If I had to bet money:
I’d go with VAN, CBJ, NASH, DAL
Make it Nashville instead of Anaheim.
I’d like seeing a new wave of competition rise up in the West.
Good point. Replace DET with PHX, and SJ with STL and the playoffs would look totally different.
Come on Joe, ANA, COL, and DAL are doing thier part, get DET onboard.
You know, I really think the Wings are coming back to the pack (though not so dramatically as some of those teams) in the next 2 years, and I’m really not upset about it either. I think that when it happens, I’ll be able to look at it, and say that it was one hell of a run, and of course it would have to end eventually. And then start getting excited as they gear it back up again.
You know, I honestly kinda wish that when I moved, I moved to an area with one of these teams with potential and poor attendance, so I could score free tix to go see tomorrow’s stars beginning their careers. Even if the Avs get to that point, there’s just too much baggage for me to do it here. I do think that would be kinda cool though, to get to be in early on watching a brand new team start building.
by IAmJoe on Mar 10, 2009 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
recommended
Just leave Heidi Androl alone!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 10, 2009 6:19 PM PDT up reply actions
Definitely NOT deep, statistical analysis. That’s for pussies.
I think Earl’s a pussy, so that was my vote. Taking shots when you’re out of the country, damn right I am!
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
oooh….earl is gonna be so mad at you hehe
El Spade-o
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 10, 2009 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Taking shots when you’re out of the country, damn right I am!
um…Hawaii is part of this country…he’s just out of the State.
GO DUCKS!! Girlwithapuck.blogspot.com
*Out of the continental United States.
Whatever. It’s been a long day.
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
long year for ducks fans…
El Spade-o
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 10, 2009 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
look at it this way, you can enjoy the summer sooner rather than later. (smiles sweetly)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
by ang6666 on Mar 10, 2009 4:04 PM PDT up reply actions
On that note, why is Alaska not part of the “continental” U.S.? I understand why Hawaii is not, because it’s not actually touching the North American continent, but Alaska is. It’s just separated by Canada, which is an imaginary border created by history’s land-claimers and lawmakers. If the U.S. controlled B.C. and Yukon, would Alaska then be considered part of the “continental” U.S.?
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
Or am I wrong, is it actually considered part of the Continental U.S.? What the hell does “Contiguous U.S.” mean?
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
If the U.S. controlled B.C. and Yukon, would Alaska then be considered part of the "continental" U.S.?
When the U.S. controls B.C. and Yukon. Yukon, ho!
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
My tiger friend has got the sled,
And I have packed a snack.
We’re all set for the trip ahead.
We’re never coming back!
We’re abandoing this life we’ve led!
So long, Mom and Pop!
We’re sick of doing what youve said,
And now it’s going to stop!
We’re going where it snows all year,
Where life can have real meaning.
A place where we wont have to hear,
“Your room could stand some cleaning.”
The Yukon is the place for us!
That’s where we want to live.
Up there we’ll ge to yell and cuss
And act real primitive.
We’ll never have to go to school,
Forced into submission,
By monst, crabby teachers who’ll
Make us learn addition.
We’ll never have to clean a plate,
Of veggie glops and goos.
Messily we’ll masticate,
Using any fork we choose!
The timber wolves will be our friends.
Well stay up late and howl,
At the moon, till nightmare ends,
Before going on the prowl.
Oh, what a life! we cannot wait,
To be in that arctic land,
Where we’ll be masters of our fate,
And lead a life that’s grand!
No more of parental rules!
We’re heading for some snow!
Good riddance to those grown-up-ghouls!
We’re leaving! Yukon Ho!
Contiguous basically means continually connected US. So the 48 states.
We would never take just the Yukon and BC. Think how stupid it would look on a map of America. You got the normal US map, then this big ass giant part that no one cares about sticking out the top. You’d have to get like a super giant square map, half of which would be blank. For this reason alone, we would never go get those without taking all the rest of Canada, just so our maps look decent.
Probably the same reason no countries in Europe want Italy, its fine on its own, but no one wants that extra shit just sticking out of the main part of their country.
People who save up for a rainy day are like milk. And milk goes good with cookies, so you should have those people over for cookies.
Seriously?
What country wouldn’t want a boot hanging out of it’s ass?
An ounce of confidence can carry you a mile toward winning. Oh, and Red Wings suck.
Eleanor Marx was Karl Marx’s daughter and was a noted socialist advocate in her own right. She was in love with a man named Edward Aveling, a rake and a vagabond, who constantly cheated on Eleanor and spent her money. Eventually, Aveling convinced Eleanor to join a suicide pact; however, after Eleanor killed herself, Averling collected her inheritance and ran off his his much younger wife.
You can read all about this in my newest book, “Rudy Kelly’s Greatest Heroes.” Aveling, not the chick.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Jesus, Rudy if you become a US History teacher then I don’t know if I’d rather have you teach my future hypothetical kids or send them to a hypothetical private school again.
I really hope I don’t procreate.
by jamestobrien on Mar 10, 2009 7:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Boy, that was just a poor excuse for a sentence. Oh well.
by jamestobrien on Mar 10, 2009 7:52 PM PDT up reply actions
Look on the bright side: That sentence may have talked you out of procreating.
Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.
Such a decision would mostly be made by whether your hypothetical kids had hypothetical breasts or not. If they had hypothetical penises, they might be safe.
I really hope I don’t procreate.
I really hope Rudy doesn’t procreate.
Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated
Dear god
Fantastic post and comments. I need to get out of state more often.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
54 | 31 | 17 | 6 | 68 |
|
Los Angeles
|
57 | 27 | 19 | 11 | 65 |
|
Phoenix
|
57 | 27 | 21 | 9 | 63 |
|
Dallas
|
56 | 28 | 25 | 3 | 59 |
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Anaheim
|
56 | 23 | 24 | 9 | 55 |
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