Kings Gameday: Lousy Squirrels

Singing squirrels…

I’m not sure what the over / under is but I doubt it’s 10 years. If it IS I’ll take that action, put me down for $20, I’m good for it.

about Rudy’s creepy man crush.

I want to lie in bed and talk about my feelings with him, and then we can get up and make chocolate chip pancakes together and he can playfully dab chocolate on my nose and then kiss it off.

What else makes me smile uncontrollably? When I imagine Drew Doughty in 10 years wearing a Kings jersey.

I think one of the coolest things about squirrels is that awesome sixth sense or psychic power or whatever that enables them to ALWAYS be on the other side of a tree trunk even when the little furball has no way of noticing you in any conventional way (I doubt they can see through trees). It’s funny to look from a distance when someone else goes around a tree and a squirrel does this.

Heh, I saw a show on the BBC about the surprising cookability and eatability of squirrels — strangely fascinating stuff. Apparently their meat is so lean from generally freaking the fuck out all the time that in order to keep the meat even close to tender it’s best to wrap it in bacon before cooking.

Good God I love squirrels. I was sitting at my desk one day and the tree outside my window kind of rustled a bit so I looked out just in time to see a squirrel fall of out it like a rock, upside down, paws in the air, right into the ivy below. Then it crawled out of the ivy, I swear it looked embarrassed, and ran the other direction. I almost shit myself laughing.

I swear, the best part about working on a college campus is the abundance of squirrels. I stop and talk to the little guys all the time. I do it because I like to look at them and watch them do the weird stuff that they do, but is also an integral part of my grand plan to become THAT nutty professor on campus. You know the one.

I always feel bad for dogs in clothes. They look so humiliated. They’re just sitting there being cool dogs, and some terrible human had to start embarassing them by bringing them down to the human’s level.

Ya know whats cool? Around here, and I never saw this back East, you just run into animals, especially shopping. I was down at a cool little shopping center close to downtown today looking for some cheap goalie gear, and the sports shop had this awesome yellow lab just hangin out. So I’m upstairs in the loft trying on pads and such, hanging out with this dog. Then I went for a little walk afterwards to see what else was in this shopping center, and there were several other stores with dogs, or one where the dog was just sitting outside having a drink. It was pretty cool. I miss my dog :-(

When I was actually going to college, a lot of times me and my girlfriend would go sit down on the blocks outside, and watch the squirrels and listen to people say stupid things.

I can make the best squirrel sounds. (I talk to squirrel, and yes, they do talk back)
Its fun to watch a squirrel fight, they are loud motherfuckers.

Where’s the hockey-related part of this post? Oh wait, never mind…

So I can safely assume you are not a member of the “squirrels are just rats with bushy tails” contingent.

Campus squirrels are not the sharpest around, though. True story: My brother was walking his dog when he was going to Michigan State University, and the dog would always pull at the leash and make this odd screaming noise when he was trying to get to a squirrel (the dog is pretty stupid, too, but totally adorable). A squirrel was sitting there facing the other direction, paying no attention to my brother or his dog, and my brother wondered what the dog would do with a squirrel if he got one, so he let out the leash a little bit.

The dog went running up to the squirrel, who remained oblivious – and then the dog sniffed his butt while the squirrel looked very confused. :)

My brother just about lost it laughing about which animal was the more brain dead.

Frisbee golf is the shit.

This post almost reads like a Fuck You, Penguin post. Awesome.

Rudy, you are truly mad.

Fun read, tho…

Done in by the boards, refs, and red swedes. Apparently they’re as distracting as squirrels.