Kings Gameday: Lousy Squirrels
by RudyKelly on Mar 13, 2009 3:20 PM PDT
22 comments
LA Kings @ Vancouver Canucks
7:00 PST, Nuthin'
Oh shit!
So I have this problem with squirrels. My problem is, they're hilarious. I mean honestly, how do people not love squirrels? I used to see them on campus when I was in college or out at the ol' frolf park* and I can't concentrate on anything else. I love the way they walk and run and I can't help but imagine what they're thinking while they're running around** and pretty much just everything about them. I love the way they walk, how they don't move any slower but just move fast intermittently. They look like gravity is affecting them way more than everyone else. And if they eat a nut.. holy fuck, just imagine that. Awesome.
Hey man, gonna eat the rest of that nut?
*Frisbee golf.
**"Oh shit!" *runs "Hey, what's that?!? Oh fuck, a nut! I will eat you! Oh shit!" *runs halfway up tree "Hey, what that? I better slowly walk up this tree to find out! Oh shit!" *hides
The problem with squirrels, though, is that I can't stop smiling whenever I see one. I was walking along today and I saw this little squirrel with a bit of red on him (I named him Seamus MacNut) and he was cautiously approaching a leaf; naturally, I was enthralled. So I'm watching this little guy get freaked the fuck out by a piece of foilage and then I notice that there is a smoking hot blonde coming the other direction and she's giving me the weirdest look, like i have shit smeared on my face. It is only then that I realize that I have the goofiest smile on my face because of Seamus. (Also, the shit on my face.) It wouldn't have bothered me that much except it was like the 30th GD time that's happened. I think they high five each other like in that commercial when they get me.
No, it's mine, all mine!
So yeah, squirrels fucking get me every time, just like dogs in clothes. (Or, dogs in cars. They're so happy!) What else makes me smile uncontrollably? When I imagine Drew Doughty in 10 years wearing a Kings jersey.
Predicton: Kings win, 4-1. Goals by Doughty (x2), Kopitar and Simmonds. And Seamus.
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Oh God!
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Mar 13, 2009 3:41 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Drew in 10 years in a Kings jersey
I’m not sure what the over / under is but I doubt it’s 10 years. If it IS I’ll take that action, put me down for $20, I’m good for it.
by Mike in OC on Mar 13, 2009 4:06 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I should add that I think the same thing about Bobby Ryan, that just seems like today’s NHL.
by Mike in OC on Mar 13, 2009 5:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Has Drew been warned...
about Rudy’s creepy man crush.
I want to lie in bed and talk about my feelings with him, and then we can get up and make chocolate chip pancakes together and he can playfully dab chocolate on my nose and then kiss it off.
What else makes me smile uncontrollably? When I imagine Drew Doughty in 10 years wearing a Kings jersey.
by RealDrew on Mar 13, 2009 4:09 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Daryl Evans is going to be pissed that nobody else is going to be fantasizing about him ripping through his muscle shirts now…
Just leave Heidi Androl alone!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 13, 2009 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I think one of the coolest things about squirrels is that awesome sixth sense or psychic power or whatever that enables them to ALWAYS be on the other side of a tree trunk even when the little furball has no way of noticing you in any conventional way (I doubt they can see through trees). It’s funny to look from a distance when someone else goes around a tree and a squirrel does this.
by Malurous on Mar 13, 2009 4:17 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Heh, I saw a show on the BBC about the surprising cookability and eatability of squirrels — strangely fascinating stuff. Apparently their meat is so lean from generally freaking the fuck out all the time that in order to keep the meat even close to tender it’s best to wrap it in bacon before cooking.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Mar 13, 2009 4:41 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Yeah, haven’t you heard of “rabbit starvation”? I assume it applies to squirrels as well, but people who rely on rabbits meat can often die because of its 0 fat content – the solution to this is to eat the brain of the rabbit, I think.
Nobody cares about your opinion.
by brokenyard on Mar 13, 2009 6:11 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Good God I love squirrels. I was sitting at my desk one day and the tree outside my window kind of rustled a bit so I looked out just in time to see a squirrel fall of out it like a rock, upside down, paws in the air, right into the ivy below. Then it crawled out of the ivy, I swear it looked embarrassed, and ran the other direction. I almost shit myself laughing.
I swear, the best part about working on a college campus is the abundance of squirrels. I stop and talk to the little guys all the time. I do it because I like to look at them and watch them do the weird stuff that they do, but is also an integral part of my grand plan to become THAT nutty professor on campus. You know the one.
by schtimpy27 on Mar 13, 2009 5:57 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
I always feel bad for dogs in clothes. They look so humiliated. They’re just sitting there being cool dogs, and some terrible human had to start embarassing them by bringing them down to the human’s level.
Ya know whats cool? Around here, and I never saw this back East, you just run into animals, especially shopping. I was down at a cool little shopping center close to downtown today looking for some cheap goalie gear, and the sports shop had this awesome yellow lab just hangin out. So I’m upstairs in the loft trying on pads and such, hanging out with this dog. Then I went for a little walk afterwards to see what else was in this shopping center, and there were several other stores with dogs, or one where the dog was just sitting outside having a drink. It was pretty cool. I miss my dog :-(
When I was actually going to college, a lot of times me and my girlfriend would go sit down on the blocks outside, and watch the squirrels and listen to people say stupid things.
by IAmJoe on Mar 13, 2009 6:13 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Confident enough to go shopping in his bathrobe...
Just leave Heidi Androl alone!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Mar 13, 2009 6:18 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I can make the best squirrel sounds. (I talk to squirrel, and yes, they do talk back)
Its fun to watch a squirrel fight, they are loud motherfuckers.
hooked on quack
by tu madre on Mar 13, 2009 6:31 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Where’s the hockey-related part of this post? Oh wait, never mind…
Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You deserved that 5-game suspension.
by Kevin Y on Mar 13, 2009 7:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
this is what Ducks and Kings gameday posts have been like lately. It’s going to get worse (or better if you like this crap like I do) as we get closer to missing the playoffs, I fear.
by Mike in OC on Mar 13, 2009 7:32 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
So I can safely assume you are not a member of the “squirrels are just rats with bushy tails” contingent.
Campus squirrels are not the sharpest around, though. True story: My brother was walking his dog when he was going to Michigan State University, and the dog would always pull at the leash and make this odd screaming noise when he was trying to get to a squirrel (the dog is pretty stupid, too, but totally adorable). A squirrel was sitting there facing the other direction, paying no attention to my brother or his dog, and my brother wondered what the dog would do with a squirrel if he got one, so he let out the leash a little bit.
The dog went running up to the squirrel, who remained oblivious – and then the dog sniffed his butt while the squirrel looked very confused. :)
My brother just about lost it laughing about which animal was the more brain dead.
"A vacuum is a hell of a lot better than some of the stuff that nature replaces it with." -- Tennessee Williams
by Baroque on Mar 14, 2009 7:14 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Frisbee golf is the shit.
This post almost reads like a Fuck You, Penguin post. Awesome.
by wuffy on Mar 14, 2009 9:48 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
bad linky
by wuffy on Mar 14, 2009 9:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Wow, thats good. And eerily RudyKelly-like.
by IAmJoe on Mar 14, 2009 8:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
That is some fucked-up shit, right there.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)
by Doogie2K on Mar 16, 2009 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Rudy, you are truly mad.
Fun read, tho…
by Donny Rivette on Mar 14, 2009 10:50 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Done in by the boards, refs, and red swedes. Apparently they’re as distracting as squirrels.
by Nut on Mar 14, 2009 2:43 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
69 | 43 | 16 | 10 | 96 |
|
Phoenix
|
70 | 43 | 22 | 5 | 91 |
|
Los Angeles
|
68 | 40 | 23 | 5 | 85 |
|
Dallas
|
69 | 30 | 26 | 13 | 73 |
|
Anaheim
|
69 | 32 | 29 | 8 | 72 |
(updated 3.18.2010 at 6:02 AM PDT)
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