LA Kings @ Dallas Stars
5:30 PST, Fox Sports West & Defending Big D
You're at work, taking a piss, and an older gentleman that you have shared a few laughs with walks in. You nod but don't dare say hello because you have a rule not to talk to other people when your cock's out. He proceeds to slide up right next to you, even though there's like 5 open urinals that don't allow him to see your penis. Then, he starts talking. You have the most awkward 30 second conversation of your life ("Uh-huh. Yep. I guess.") and then quickly wash your hands while he keeps blathering on. Then, as you're trying to get the fuck out of this intractable quagmire, he does the most horrifying thing you can imagine: he sticks out his hand. 'Oh God,' you think, 'does he want to shake hands? He hasn't washed his yet. Jesus, he's not even zipped all the way up!' He's standing there with a big friendly smile on his face and you frantically try to come up with something, anything, that will get you out of this mess.
What do you do? What do you do?
Prediction: Kings lose, 3-1. Goal by Kopitar. I get fired for embarrassing a co-worker. "Well, gosh Chris, if he didn't want me to punch him in the face maybe he should learn some Goddamned manners."*
*I didn't punch him. I shook his hand, waited for him to leave, and then set my arm on fire.