Defending Forrest Gump & Sidney Crosby

by RudyKelly on Mar 29, 2009 7:10 PM PDT Comment 37 comments

(Disclaimer: This is long and I'm not sure if it makes sense. Also, I'm borderline retarded so it really might not make sense.)

Sidney Crosby is Forrest Gump.

No, I don't mean he's a loveable 'tard, I mean he's the movie. Forrest Gump won the Academy Award for best picture, best actor, best director, best screen play (adapted), best film editing, best visual effects... it pretty much won everything it could. And most would agree that Forrest Gump is a great movie. It's captures the '60s in a unique and charming way while also providing dozens of great moments and lines. The movie can sometimes be almost too cute (What the fuck, he created the smiley face?) but I don't think anyone would have denied at the time that it was one of the best movies to come out in a while.

But there were some people that thought Pulp Fiction was better. Pulp Fiction was edgy where Forrest Gump was sweet, cool where Gump was straight-laced, unorthodox where Gump was safe and conventional. How could a movie as straightfoward and obvious as Forrest Gump beat out a unique cinematic experience like Pulp Fiction? To these people, Pulp Fiction had been beaten that first year because it had a bankable star (Tom Hanks v. Bruce Willis) and a big budget ($55 mil v. $8), not because it was the better movie.

So the Pulp Fiction people started complaining. Forrest Gump isn't that good, Bubba is a shitty actor, Lt. Dan getting new legs is ridiculous, etc. The people who liked Forrest Gump didn't really care enough to defend it and the cries and denunciations of Forrest Gump grew and grew to the point where more people talked about how it wasn't as good as Pulp Fiction than talked about how it was a pretty good movie. Even when pointing out Pulp Fiction's good points, people did it through the framework of how it succeeds where Forrest Gump does not. They missed the point, though: the two movies shouldn't really be compared because they're so different: you can like one without denigrating the other.*

*And ironically, the best movie to come out that year was probably The Lion King or The Shawshank Redemption (Malkin).

I don't think people that hate Sidney Crosby really hate Sidney Crosby. They hate people like Sidney Crosby. Just like people that hate Forrest Gump don't hate Forrest Gump, they hate movies like Crash and The Majestic. They hate the idea that Sidney Crosby is really good and that he tries really hard to be a spokesperson for the NHL, so they take every minute flaw of his and magnify it. They've seen that other players that always try to do and say the right thing (Kobe, A-Rod, etc.) end up being douche bags and assume Crosby is the same way.. Meanwhile, every flaw in Ovechkin's game is dismissed because those who hate Crosby assume everyone is as petty as themselves.

Greg Wyshynski's short film on why people the love and hate of Sidney Crosby was fascinating to me because it kind of proved the opposite of its intent: the people portrayed as ridiculous were the ones that said they liked Crosby because he's good and a role model and a nice person, while those who make pictures of him with pacifiers in his mouth and call him a pussy were considered the normal ones. I like Wyshynski, but I think he definitely missed the point with that piece. You shouldn't be asking why people how they could like Crosby so much; you should ask why some people hate him so much. I think they hate him because they assume someone like him is too good to be true. Someone can't be that deferential and polite all the time. Since they don't have any evidence to the contrary, they invent reasons to hate him out of small incidents that occur in the heat of a hockey game and then shout, "See, he's no better than the rest of us!" And he's not. He's not Superman, but is it so bad if that is who he aspires to be?

Look, Ovechkin probably is better than Crosby and Pulp Fiction is definitely better than Forrest Gump, but that doesn't mean Crosby and Forrest Gump fucking suck because other people hyped them too much. They're not trying to be the same thing: Ovechkin wants to score goals and celebrate and be a wild and crazy guy, and Crosby wants to be a spokesman and a paragon of virtue. That's cool. I almost feel bad for Ovechkin because he's constantly thrown into this whole thing and I imagine he'd rather just score goals and bang Igor Larionov's daughter. I imagine that as they get older this whole thing will go away: Lebron went through the same shit between him and Dwyane Wade and Carmelo Anthony before they all grew and became their own players. As someone who lives removed from this whole thing, I can't wait. Forrest Gump was right: life is like a box of chocolates because you never know what you're going to get. However, you do know that someone is always going to criticize your chocolate and whine about how their chocolate is overlooked.

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Great post.

The movie comparison is impeccable.
I agree more so now, than I ever did.

hooked on quack

by tu madre on Mar 29, 2009 7:27 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

bang Igor Larionov’s daughter.

Back in 1998, at the start of a new Red Wings season, I was what, 12 years old I think. This was the first season after the post-Cup limo wreck involving Fetisov/Konstantinov/Mnatsakonov, and the Larionov girls sang the Russian national anthem or maybe the US anthem or something before the home opener. At the time, I think Alyonka was about 12-13, and I’m watching this ceremony for these guys who got their careers ended and lives altered in a car accident, and I’m thinking “in a couple years, that girl is going to be really fuckin hot”. 11 years later, and I still think with my dick first and foremost. 1300 miles away, I hope my mom is proud.

by IAmJoe on Mar 29, 2009 7:41 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

and I still think with my dick first and foremost

Once males hit puberty, I believe they all think that way.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Mar 29, 2009 11:03 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I only have one sample to go on, but it doesn’t always wait until puberty to take the helm of the ship.

Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Mar 30, 2009 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Forrest Gump

Yeh!

Pulp Fiction

…meh

The Lion King

…meh

The Shawshank Redemption

…meh

Crash

bleh…

The Majestic

Yeh!

Nobody cares about your opinion.

by brokenyard on Mar 29, 2009 8:03 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Great post, Rudy.

Nobody cares about your opinion.

by brokenyard on Mar 29, 2009 8:05 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Also, a very interesting note on today’s finished West standings:

1 y-San Jose 109
2 x-Detroit 107
3 Calgary 92
4 Chicago 91
5 Vancouver 91
6 Columbus 86
7 Nashville 84
8 St. Louis 83

That would be 5 Central division teams (DET, CHI, COL, NAS, STL), 2 Northwest teams, and only 1 Pacific team. Obviously, theres a few games left to go, but still. Just sayin.

by IAmJoe on Mar 29, 2009 8:18 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Well said, Rudy.

by Patty (in Dallas) on Mar 29, 2009 8:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Oh great, now I hate Forrest Gump.

I think I have to hate Crosby because the Ducks were one ping pong ball away from getting him.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Mar 29, 2009 9:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

In an alternate reality, the Ducks get Crosby, but never win a Stanley Cup because the entire team makeup and philosophy is different. Also, in this reality, the Ducks have a terrible salary structure, because they’re spending like 40M a year on keeping the kid. However, attendance climbs through the roof as beach/puck bunnies pack the Honda Center, trying to get Crosby’s attention.

by IAmJoe on Mar 30, 2009 11:51 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

My hate for Crosby is exactly what you’ve described. I hate him because I’m supposed to, not because I think he sucks, but because I wish he did. “That damn Crosby, That damn Ovechkin, That damn Malkin.” Usually it’s more Western Conference based, “Those damn Sharks, Those damn Predators, Those damn Oilers…” I think you get the idea. I’m allowed to hate him though, I’m not a Pens fan. I think it means that the fans of all the other teams in the league have the right to hate him as well. But respect his skills? I definitely do.

I think I have to hate Crosby because the Ducks were one ping pong ball away from getting him.

I’m not too upset with the ping pong ball we got.

GO DUCKS!! DUCKSandPUCKS.com

by SK eleven on Mar 29, 2009 11:50 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Crosby and Ovechkin are just analogy factories, aren't they?

Great stuff, Rudy.

I think Sidney Crosby is also a little bit like “Juno” too in that people hated Juno because it was too popular, even though it had a lot of qualities (adorable lead actress, Jason Bateman, some quality one-liners and snark) that THOSE EXACT PEOPLE would love if it didn’t get so “big.” And he’s also like Metallica: he didn’t sell out, really, he just is what he is. People’s hate for him just happened because they attach all these expectations and feelings to him that might not be warranted.

Although, I must say, I still like my “Crosby is Bret the Hitman Hart; Alex Ovechkin is Stone Cold Steve Austin” analogy. (And not just because it involves a baby oil joke.)

(One disagreement: Ovechkin LOVES this stuff. Just look at the way he reacted to Don Cherry’s comments. Ovechkin is the perfect American media whore: gregarious, bangs chicks at a Wilt Chamberlain pace, shoots and scores like crazy. He doesn’t want to bang Larianov’s daughter. He wants to bang her AND HER SIBLINGS AND HER COUSINS)

Still, though, fantastic post Rud-e.

by jamestobrien on Mar 30, 2009 1:25 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

All those people who hate Metallica retroactively because they stopped being a prog-metal band after …And Justice for All are douchebags. You can hate their more recent output, and you can hate Lars Ulrich for always coming across as a dick, but their first three to five albums, depending on who you ask, are still fucking classics. It’s like hating the White Album or Sgt. Pepper’s because John Lennon’s later output was really pretentious and crazy, or because Paul McCartney’s later output was too poppy and simplistic, or hating Dark Side of the Moon and Wish You Were Here because Roger Waters took over the band afterward and went 1/3 before Pink Floyd broke up.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)

by Doogie2K on Mar 30, 2009 7:47 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

agree…

El Spade-o

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 30, 2009 8:58 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I mostly just hate them for being posterboys for stupid rockstars with stupid senses of entitlement who help perpetuate a flawed model of music distribution. GTFO my internets, Metallica.

by IAmJoe on Mar 30, 2009 11:49 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Same with blink-182

People stop listening after Dude Ranch because they “sold out” and all those stupid debates over wether they’re punk or not. In the end, who cares? They’re still a kick-ass band. Same with Crosby and Ovechkin. Who cares which is better, they’re two of the most dynamic and talented players in the game today.

by Blinky on Mar 30, 2009 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Take Off Your Pants And Jacket was the first concert I ever went to.

I still love Blink 182.

by IAmJoe on Mar 30, 2009 8:31 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

great post

i have to say i may don’t hate crosby but something about him really annoys me. And I had this same feeling when he started in NHL and I had barely heard of him so it wasn’t because of that overhype thingy (I live in europe, he really isn’t that big here)

Как же так может быть?

by sleza on Mar 30, 2009 5:32 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

GOOD PIECE

the haters need to stop hating….not crosby’s fault the nhl is trying to market him…leave the fucker alone….and am i the only one that likes ovechkins antics?…think we need personalities in the NHL..this is entertainment folks…i want to be entertained

good comparison though rudy

but still fuck the kings for not beating nashville….just because we choked on friday doesnt mean you have to follow our example….what you want to be like us now?…huh? what the fuck

El Spade-o

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Mar 30, 2009 7:18 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

and am i the only one that likes ovechkins antics?…

I’m on board with Ovechkins antics. I think it’s great for the NHL to get some exposure for the fun stuff like that. He’s a highlight reel!

Avery on the other hand…not so much (okay, thats a lie…I think he’s hilarious, but I’m not on board with his image for the NHL.)

GO DUCKS!! DUCKSandPUCKS.com

by SK eleven on Mar 30, 2009 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I got off Ovechkin's train

when I saw the replay of how he won the slam dunk (or whatever they call that NHL skills competition) with nothing more than a cowboy hat and pair of clown sun glasses.

People like him that much? He did not even score on the shot!

by Mike in OC on Mar 30, 2009 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

oh, I will have to agree on that one. I was bummed that the skills competition wasn’t much more than a show boating competition.

GO DUCKS!! DUCKSandPUCKS.com

by SK eleven on Mar 30, 2009 3:22 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Great post, Rudy.

Of course, the movie debate is ultimately irrelevant because the best film of all time was made in 1982, and called Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan. Good on everyone in 1994 for trying, though.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)

by Doogie2K on Mar 30, 2009 7:49 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

I hate Forrest Gump because, while technically proficient, it’s lazily written, stupidly self-important, and cheaply sentimental. It’s basically Craig Janney.

by ievans on Mar 30, 2009 10:33 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Except that Forrest Gump never loses his wife to Brendan Shanahan.

by IAmJoe on Mar 30, 2009 11:48 AM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

Ha! I’d forgotten about that.

There’s a tasteless joke in there about how Forrest Gump actually loses Robin Wright-Penn in the movie, but (after some thought) I’m not going to tell it.

by ievans on Mar 30, 2009 12:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

and am i the only one that likes ovechkins antics?

No, I got yelled at by a few people on Mirtle’s site for saying I didn’t think there was anything wrong with Ovechkin celebrating.

For the record (not that anyone cares):
I like Crosby and Ovechkin
I like Pulp Fiction but hated Forest Gump

by GOOLIAN on Mar 30, 2009 10:48 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Loved this post

And I don’t even remember the debate of Pulp Fiction v. Forrest Gump at all (but I hate the Academy Awards as a general rule, so I’m sure I tuned out). But that sounds like a great analogy.

… they all grew and became their own players. As someone who lives removed from this whole thing, I can’t wait.

Amen. Please let it be over and let their teams have a rivalry.

Every time I hear the equivalent of a “Left field bleachers suck!” debate with Ovechkin v. Crosby, I groan. At least Gretzky v. Lemieux was on their physical skills and merits as players. Maybe if I were closer to the apparent vast league-wide conspiracy against Ovechkin that has been engineered by the Canadian shadow government, I’d care. But as it stands, I just like watching good films, er, hockey.

Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Mar 30, 2009 2:20 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

We have a shadow government?

Man, it must be way more awesome than the real one.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)

by Doogie2K on Mar 30, 2009 2:59 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

If they’re like the U.S. one, late-night radio tells me they focus mostly on UFOs. And sanitation.

Lighthouse Hockey: SBN's New York Islanders blog with hip issues.

by Dominik on Mar 30, 2009 9:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

I hate Crosby because every time he’s interviewed and pauses inbetween sentences, he sucks air through his teeth on the side of his mouth. Literally every time, watch for it. Fucker.

by Nut on Mar 30, 2009 6:01 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

great…now I wont be able to NOT watch for it!

GO DUCKS!! DUCKSandPUCKS.com

by SK eleven on Mar 30, 2009 6:40 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

That’s a valid reason to hate someone.

Nobody cares about your opinion.

by brokenyard on Mar 30, 2009 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

son of a bitch! So I had to check it out…and I’ll be dammed!!!

If you watch just the first minute of this video, it happens like 5 times!!! TOO FUNNY!!!

GO DUCKS!! DUCKSandPUCKS.com

by SK eleven on Mar 30, 2009 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

told you. Now you’ll never be able to not notice it either.

by Nut on Mar 31, 2009 5:02 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs

This is awesome Rudy.

One more reason for me to not watch Forrest Gump.

It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker

by Lurker Shark on Mar 30, 2009 7:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

Fucking awesome piece Rudy.

Fear The Fin: Where The Second Round Is Overrated

by Mr. Plank on Mar 30, 2009 10:53 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs

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