BoC Pre-Gameday: Todd McLellan & The Holy Grail
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 11:43 AM PDT
28 comments
Not too much to say right now other than the cliche do or die. I'll agree with the hockey pundits who believe that Sharks as we know it, for better or worse, will undergo a significant roster move (i.e. Patrick Marleau or Joe Thornton) should they not pull off a semi-miracle comeback. This group has been given too many chances, too many tools, too many weapons for them to just flame out like that.
What's frustrating is that the Sharks showed to some degree in the first game, really brought it in game two and three, and then had the ultimate brain fart in game four. Now, Ducks, would you kindly be shitty in game five and six and we'll slug it out in game seven?
(Anyone get my Bioshock reference? Anyone think it'll work? Anyone?)
And to lighten the mood, I'm reimagining a famous scene from Monty Python & The Holy Grail.
Joe Thornton: None shall pass.
Ryan Getzlaf: What?
Joe Thornton: None shall pass.
Ryan Getzlaf: I have no quarrel with you, good San Jose Shark, but I must win the Battle of California since I won't win the Hart Trophy.
Joe Thornton: Then you shall die.
Ryan Getzlaf: I command you, as the future of the Ducks, to stand aside!
Joe Thornton: I move for no man.
Ryan Getzlaf: So be it!
Ryan Getzlaf and Joe Thornton: Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's left arm off]
Ryan Getzlaf: Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Joe Thornton: 'Tis but a scratch.
Ryan Getzlaf: A scratch? Your arm's off!
Joe Thornton: No, it isn't.
Ryan Getzlaf: Well, what's that, then?
Joe Thornton: I've had worse.
Ryan Getzlaf: You liar!
Joe Thornton: Come on, you balding pansy!
[clang]
Huyah!
[clang]
Hiyaah!
[clang]
Aaaaaaaah!
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's right arm off]
Ryan Getzlaf:
Victory is mine!
[kneeling]
We thank thee Randy Carlyle, that in thy mer--
Joe Thornton: Hah! [kick] Come on, then.
Ryan Getzlaf: What?
Joe Thornton: Have at you!
[kick]
Ryan Getzlaf: Eh. You are indeed brave, Joe Thornton, but the fight is mine.
Joe Thornton: Oh, had enough, eh?
Ryan Getzlaf: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
Joe Thornton: Yes, I have.
Ryan Getzlaf: Look!
Joe Thornton: Just a flesh wound. [kick]
Ryan Getzlaf: Look, stop that.
Joe Thornton: Chicken! [kick] Chickennn!
Ryan Getzlaf: Look, I'll have your leg. [kick] Right! [whop]
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's right leg off]
Joe Thornton: Right. I'll do you for that!
Ryan Getzlaf: You'll what?
Joe Thornton: Come here!
Ryan Getzlaf: What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Joe Thornton: I'm invincible!
Ryan Getzlaf: You're a looney.
Joe Thornton: Joe Thornton always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
[whop]
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's last leg off]
Joe Thornton: Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.
0 recs |
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The Sharks would be fools to move Thornton or Marleau.
Up front they need to keep Thornton, Marleau, Setoguchi, and Pavelski. The rest are movable. We have too many players like Grier and Goc, who are good character guys and defensive forwards, but rarely pitch-in offensively.
The blueline is solid. Keep Boyle, Murray, and Ehrhoff. I’d like to see Vlasic stay too.
Nabokov isn’t the best goalie every night, but is good enough to win the cup.
A top line with Thornton and Setoguchi, Marleau and Pavelski as 2nd and 3rd line centers, and a solid defense and goalie. Fill in the rest with young guys who will go all-out in a game to win.
Never go to the South for any reason.
by Megalodon on Apr 24, 2009 11:51 AM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Nabby IS good enough to win a Cup on a good team, but yoiu can get a goalie that will give you the same kind of performances for much cheaper, allowing you to build a better team around. Nabby is not a top-echelon goalie, the team needs to stop pretending that he is, don’t pay him like he is, and replace him with someone just as useful but cheaper.
Ozzie really isn’t that far behind Nabby, performance-wise, except for this past regular season, but he’s dramatically cheaper, and that’s allowed the Wings to get it done. The Sharks need to find someone like that, and let Nabby walk.
http://redwingsvbluejackets.blogspot.com/
by IAmJoe on Apr 24, 2009 12:50 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is sounds right to me
But for the love of god, could you guys please dump Roneik and Lemuiex, and please don’t replace them with Bret Hull and Thoe Fluery.
by Mike in OC on Apr 24, 2009 1:07 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Up front they need to keep Thornton, Marleau, Setoguchi, and Pavelski. The rest are movable.
I’m obviously an outsider to this, but as an opponent’s fan, I’d throw Torrey Mitchell on this keeper list.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 24, 2009 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Torrey Mitchell is a guy I would love to see stay with the team. I just don’t rank him as high as Setoguchi or Pavelski yet.
Never go to the South for any reason.
by Megalodon on Apr 24, 2009 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
If you’re guessing that Pavelski can be a scrappy 1/2 center and Mitchell can be an effective 2/3 center, then you can look at your options with Thornton/Marleau. Keep both and leave one on wing? Move one for cap considerations? I dunno. There’s a lot of options right now.
But I will give them this one last chance to prove themselves. If they play they did in game 2/3, I think they could still make it interesting, especially since hopefully Hiller is due for a stinker game.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’m not advocating one way or the other, just thinking that it’s a distinct possibility.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:15 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
No, I agree that Marleau or Thornton could be moved. This was a front office that was hesitant to spend money until last offseason. They let that “you get what you pay for” talk into their heads.
But now they’ve tried it, and roughly 46% of their salary next year is tied up in 4 players (53% when you add the next highest paid player in Michalek). Not to mention they’re committed to spend a steady $11M a year on Boyle and Michalek until 2014. There are a lot of UFA’s, but that’s all the more reason to restock properly and leave yourself some room to maneuver. Plus, the cap could go down as early as 2010-11.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 24, 2009 1:35 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
I’ve played through Bioshock twice (ladies!) and I’ve read through a couple times but I can’t find your reference.
by Nut on Apr 24, 2009 12:07 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
“Would you kindly” as in subliminally commanding the Ducks to lose.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:12 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Sharks need a plasmid that gives you the power to stop sucking balls.
RudyKelly needs that too, for different reasons.
Never go to the South for any reason.
by Megalodon on Apr 24, 2009 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Incenerate Level 3 in Cheechoo’s hands. That, and a reprogrammed gun turret protecting Nabby, should do the trick.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
The Sharks are gonna need all the Eve they can get, because the guns in Rapture all suck a flaming pile of ass.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)
by Doogie2K on Apr 24, 2009 7:13 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Why is Thornton The Black Knight? I’d think disappearing Joe would be ineligible to portray the playoffs “never say die” attitude. He’s more fit for the Killer Bunny scene:
Patrick Marleau: (to Todd McLellan) You manky, Scot git.
[Marleau goes toward the cave and is beheaded by the small duckling]
Joe Thornton: JEEZUS CHRIST!!!
Todd McLellan: I warned you. I told you not to dally about in his zone. I warned you, but did you listen to me— oh, no, you knew i’ all didn’t you? Oh, it’s just a harmless li’l duck, idn’t it? I always tell them, but do they listen to me? OH, no.
Joe Thornton: Oh Shut up! Chaaaarge!
[the duckling takes out a few more knights]
Joe Thornton: Run Awaaaaaaaaaaaaay!!!
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 24, 2009 12:34 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Heh, good point. Here’s another MP reference — Doug Wilson is like Brian on the crucifix: always look on the bright side of life.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:14 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
whee whoo. whoo-whoo whoo-whoo whee-whoo.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 24, 2009 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
that was me whistling the chorus, though I know it looks like Lamaze breathing.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 24, 2009 1:36 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Somehow this is cheering me up a little:
Corey Perry: Allo! Who is eet?
Joe Thornton: It is King Joe Thornton, and these are my Sharks of San Jose. Whose castle is this?
Corey Perry: This is the castle of my master, Guy de Hebert.
Joe Thornton: Go and tell your master that we have been charged by God with a sacred quest. If he will give us food and shelter for the night, he can join us in our quest for the Stanley Cup.
Corey Perry: Well, I’ll ask him, but I don’t think he’ll be very keen. Uh, he’s already got one, you see.
Joe Thornton: What?
Marleau: He says they’ve already got one!
Joe Thornton: Are you sure he’s got one?
Corey Perry: Oh, yes. It’s very nice-a.
Joe Thornton: Well, u— um, can we come up and have a look?
Corey Perry: Of course not! You are NorCal types-a!
Joe Thornton: Well, what are you, then?
Corey Perry: I’m SoCal! Why do think I have this outrageous accent, you silly king-a?!
Marleau: What are you doing in San Jose?
Corey Perry: Mind your own business!
Joe Thornton: If you will not show us the Cup, we shall take your castle by force!
Corey Perry: You don’t frighten us, NorCal pig-dogs! Go and boil your bottom, sons of a silly person. I blow my nose at you, so-called Joe Thornton King, you and all your silly k-nnnnniggets. Thpppppt! Thppt! Thppt!
Marleau: What a strange person.
Joe Thornton: Now look here, my good man—
Corey Perry: I don’t wanna talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Marleau: Is there someone else up there we could talk to?
Corey Perry: No. Now, go away, or I shall taunt you a second time-a!
JR: Shit.
by mepex on Apr 24, 2009 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Good one. Nothing like a little humor to make a shitty situation better.
by Mike Chen on Apr 24, 2009 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
Poor Joe
Don’t worry, we’ll make some room up in VAN for a center who isn’t 38, Swedish and sporting one functioning hip.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Apr 24, 2009 1:52 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
So I have my days off from work on Wed/Thurs/Fri, which means that I’m sitting here in the afternoon when theres nothing on but Bones on TNT. Am I the only one who finds Dr. Temperance Brennan outrageously sexy?
http://redwingsvbluejackets.blogspot.com/
by IAmJoe on Apr 24, 2009 3:14 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Nope. Me, too.
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)
by Doogie2K on Apr 24, 2009 7:16 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
This is fantastic Mike.
It takes a big man to cry and it takes a bigger man to laugh at that man. -Jamie Baker
by Lurker Shark on Apr 24, 2009 5:24 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
Monty Python sucks.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Apr 24, 2009 5:46 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
What is the airspeed velocity of an unladen Duck?
Don't bRuin your life. Make love with a Trojan
by Morbo on Apr 24, 2009 9:43 PM PDT reply actions 0 recs
What do you mean? A North American or European Duck?
SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there)
by Doogie2K on Apr 24, 2009 10:44 PM PDT up reply actions 0 recs
SHUT THE FUCK UP
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
by RudyKelly on Apr 24, 2009 10:56 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
59 | 39 | 11 | 9 | 87 |
|
Phoenix
|
60 | 36 | 19 | 5 | 77 |
|
Los Angeles
|
59 | 36 | 20 | 3 | 75 |
|
Dallas
|
58 | 26 | 21 | 11 | 63 |
|
Anaheim
|
59 | 28 | 24 | 7 | 63 |
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