BoC Pre-Gameday: Todd McLellan & The Holy Grail

The Sharks' last leg

Not too much to say right now other than the cliche do or die. I'll agree with the hockey pundits who believe that Sharks as we know it, for better or worse, will undergo a significant roster move (i.e. Patrick Marleau or Joe Thornton) should they not pull off a semi-miracle comeback. This group has been given too many chances, too many tools, too many weapons for them to just flame out like that.

What's frustrating is that the Sharks showed to some degree in the first game, really brought it in game two and three, and then had the ultimate brain fart in game four. Now, Ducks, would you kindly be shitty in game five and six and we'll slug it out in game seven?

(Anyone get my Bioshock reference? Anyone think it'll work? Anyone?)

And to lighten the mood, I'm reimagining a famous scene from Monty Python & The Holy Grail.

Joe Thornton:   None shall pass.
Ryan Getzlaf:    What?
Joe Thornton:    None shall pass.
Ryan Getzlaf:    I have no quarrel with you, good San Jose Shark, but I must win the Battle of California since I won't win the Hart Trophy.
Joe Thornton:    Then you shall die.
Ryan Getzlaf:    I command you, as the future of the Ducks, to stand aside!
Joe Thornton:    I move for no man.
Ryan Getzlaf:    So be it!
Ryan Getzlaf and Joe Thornton:    Aaah!, hiyaah!, etc.
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's left arm off]
Ryan Getzlaf:    Now stand aside, worthy adversary.
Joe Thornton:    'Tis but a scratch.
Ryan Getzlaf:    A scratch? Your arm's off!
Joe Thornton:    No, it isn't.
Ryan Getzlaf:    Well, what's that, then?
Joe Thornton:    I've had worse.
Ryan Getzlaf:    You liar!
Joe Thornton:    Come on, you balding pansy!
    [clang]
    Huyah!
    [clang]
    Hiyaah!
    [clang]
    Aaaaaaaah!
[Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's right arm off]
Ryan Getzlaf:
    Victory is mine!
    [kneeling]
    We thank thee Randy Carlyle, that in thy mer--
Joe Thornton:    Hah!     [kick]    Come on, then.
Ryan Getzlaf:    What?
Joe Thornton:    Have at you!
    [kick]
Ryan Getzlaf:    Eh. You are indeed brave, Joe Thornton, but the fight is mine.
Joe Thornton:    Oh, had enough, eh?
Ryan Getzlaf:    Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left.
Joe Thornton:    Yes, I have.
Ryan Getzlaf:    Look!
Joe Thornton:    Just a flesh wound.    [kick]
Ryan Getzlaf:    Look, stop that.
Joe Thornton:    Chicken!     [kick]    Chickennn!
Ryan Getzlaf:    Look, I'll have your leg.    [kick]    Right!    [whop]
    [Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's right leg off]
Joe Thornton:    Right. I'll do you for that!
Ryan Getzlaf:    You'll what?
Joe Thornton:    Come here!
Ryan Getzlaf:    What are you going to do, bleed on me?
Joe Thornton:    I'm invincible!
Ryan Getzlaf:    You're a looney.
Joe Thornton:    Joe Thornton always triumphs! Have at you! Come on, then.
    [whop]
    [Ryan Getzlaf chops the Joe Thornton's last leg off]
Joe Thornton:    Oh? All right, we'll call it a draw.

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