Season Review: Raitis Ivanans

by RudyKelly on Jul 19, 2009 8:59 AM PDT

	GP	G	A	P	+/-	PIM	PPG	SHG	GWG	GTG	SOG	PCT
2008 - Raitis Ivanans	76	2	0	2	-8	145	0	0	2	0	25	8.0

Raitis Ivanans led the team in minor penalties.

I'm serious.

Raitis Ivanans led the team in minor penalties. He played 6:22 minutes a game. That's unconscionable. He had 35 minor penalties. The runner-up? Matt Greene, with 33, then Denis Gauthier with 30. I mentioned Greene's proclivity for penalties in his season review and I despise Denis Gauthier more than Kevin Y, but at least they, you know, play hockey.

Ivanans is supposed to just kinda skate around and occasionally punch people in the head. That's it. That's his job. It's pretty easy. What the hell is he doing trying to overachieve? He's like a Horatio Alger character but instead of working hard and improving his station, he's taking stupid penalties while he breathes out of his mouth.

I'm confused; I swear, I thought Ivanans was actually a pretty good enforcer, as far as skating goes, but if he's going to take retarded hooking penalties then he's less than worthless. George Parros doesn't take that many penalties (10). Neither does Georges Laraque (8). Raitis Ivanans is the worst player in hockey. Right?

Let's trade him. I'm serious. I feel terrible for saying it, because my jokes about shoe-eating would definitely take a hit, but Ivanans killed the Kings last year. Kevin Westgarth is a jackass and will get himself killed one day with his fighting style, but at least he doesn't hurt the team. I'm sorry, Raitis, but you need to fuck off.

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Comments

Bad Move

Dude, he’s going to kill you now. You’re only hope is that his English is so rudimentary he doesn’t understand what it says, otherwise he’s going to eat you. Although I agree the minor penalties are absurd, he started to show more balance in his game as the year went on. He scored game winning goals two games in a row if I remember correctly.

by klink3115 on Jul 19, 2009 10:43 AM PDT reply actions

Hear hear!

by Donzo on Jul 19, 2009 11:46 AM PDT reply actions

Is that a hear hear for Raitis eating Rudy or for us trading him?

by klink3115 on Jul 19, 2009 11:50 AM PDT up reply actions

I was for the negative vibes surrounding Raitis, but I can’t say I’d be disappointed with either.

by Donzo on Jul 19, 2009 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions

His stat line is kinda crazy. 76 games played – 2 goals. not bad I guess. 2 GWG – wtf?How does that happen? Raitis sucks, but at least he’s clutch? Zero assists in 76 games, how can that even be possible? Not one assist? Whats his career number for assists, 3? I checked, and its 6. This guy is pure luck on the ice, and its mostly bad. I dont think I like Westgarth much better, I guess I hope Clune has a good camp and beats out both.

by SuperSonic420 on Jul 19, 2009 2:36 PM PDT reply actions

clutch!

I lol’d at clutch, because I can hear his agent saying it.

GM: “Give me one good reason why he should be making above league minimum, I mean he only has 2 career goals!”

Agent: “But they were CLUTCH”

by MrMaz on Jul 19, 2009 7:11 PM PDT reply actions

Raitis Ivanans led the team in minor penalties. He played 6:22 minutes a game. That’s unconscionable.

Wow. I had no idea he was that costly — for sure that’s the kind of toughness that won’t help you get wins.

Maybe Smytty can box.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 19, 2009 7:36 PM PDT reply actions

Maybe Smytty can box.

Hey, no point in jeopardizing the stunning good looks.

by Malurous on Jul 20, 2009 5:05 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

I despise Denis Gauthier more than Kevin Y

No way. No fucking way.

But you do make a good point. Gauthier at least is a hockey player. He’s incompetent, but he does contribute defensively at times, just not against the Red Wings in October. (Valterri Filppula never was, nor ever will be, on the Kings.) And he even sometimes produces offensively. At a game I was at last year, I threw my drink at the wall after Gauthier scored.

I’m not sure Raitis has an ounce of hockey knowledge in his body. I’m not sure he even knows what the hell the game “hockey” is. There are enforcers, and then there are guys like Ivanans, who spends more time in the penalty box than he does on the ice. He’s probably more productive in the box than on the ice because he only hurts the Kings (and occasionally guys like Brashear and Parros) when he’s on.

You know what, we should put him in a cage with Brock Lesnar. Admit it, you’d dish out big bucks to see that at Staples Center before the season opener.

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.

by Kevin Y on Jul 19, 2009 11:19 PM PDT reply actions

I mistook Rudy’s statement to mean he despised Kevin Y.

by Donzo on Jul 20, 2009 2:34 PM PDT up reply actions

Eh, now that I think about it, I’m almost certain that’s what he meant.

But I’m a likable guy! Ask Sleek. He’ll vouch for me

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.

by Kevin Y on Jul 21, 2009 11:24 AM PDT up reply actions

I don’t think anyone hates Gauthier more than Kevin Y. I think he hates the goat more than I hated Modry!

by chris in torrance on Jul 20, 2009 1:57 PM PDT reply actions

Yeah, I actually stopped playing NHL 09 Be A Pro mode when in my 5th season the Devils (who I signed with after three years in LA) traded for Gauthier. I absolutely refused to play a game with him on my team.

Fuck you, Denis Gauthier. You suck at hockey... and life.

by Kevin Y on Jul 20, 2009 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions