...Goaltender Marc-Andre Fleury.
There are a few things you can take to the bank when selecting a goaltender in an EA game: one, they're always going to suck if they're on your team, and two, guys that win the Cup or the Vezina or always insanely overrated. Fleury is a good goaltender but probably around the 10th best in the league, based on last year. In this game, I expect him to be around 4th, behind Luongo, Brodeur and Thomas. It's stupid, yes, but that stupidity is going to win me this fictional stupid contest. To victory!