What the Cluck

by RudyKelly on Aug 25, 2009 4:00 PM PDT

So I was going to write about goaltending today but I got distracted by chickens.

It started when I was catching up on The Colony, a hilariously fake yet still entertaining hyper-reality show on Discovery Channel. It's this show where they take 10 "survivors" of the apocalypse and then give them limited supplies to rebuild civilization. Anyway, there was an episode where they traded with some Russian/Arabic/fake-sounding marauder (don't ask) and received chickens. I thought that was a good idea since they could eat the eggs, but then my roommate mentioned that it wouldn't help them because they didn't have a rooster.

"Yeah, good point. Wait, why would they need a rooster?" I asked.

"...What? How else are they going to get eggs?" he replied.

I thought for a second and said, "Well, they don't need a rooster, chickens just kind of, uh, lay eggs... right?"

My roommate thought for a little more than a second and said, "Umm, no, I don't think so. Where do you think the egg comes from?"

"It just kinda comes, right?" I was less sure of my position now.

He replied, "Think about it. Haven't you heard of people getting an egg and then there's a little chick inside it?"

"Uh, yeah, I guess so. That's gross."

Silence.

"So were they just fucking the old rooster in Chicken Run, then?"

"I guess so."

"Gross."

We were both confused, but I deferred to him on the matter since he's a Ducks fan and is therefore more familiar with birds.

Untitled1_medium

I continued about my day, but the question stayed with me. It's not one of those things you ever really think about; chickens just sit on their little nest and happily cluck along and lay eggs... right? That's what Disney told me. But then again, there are always little things you thought you learned as a kid that you believe until you're proven wrong as an adult. For example, I thought the USSR stood for the "United States of Socialist Republics" until I was 19 years old. I saw the letters and worked it out in my head when I was like 6, and it just stuck with me. It's been known to happen.

But anyway, the thought stuck with me, and I discussed it with my old roommate, Meg. He thought I was right, although he wasn't completely sure, either. I mean, chickens lay eggs kind of like women have an egg a month, right? Chicken eggs are just a little more delicious, that's all. (You: Wait, did he write 'a little more?') But then, if that's true, what happens to the eggs if they're not fertilized? The chicken just leaves them?

Well, actually, yeah.

Apparently, chickens do lay about an egg a day and then incubate them in groups of 10-12. If they're not fertilized the chicken will just leave them and build a new nest. Mystery solved. My roommate probably thought that chickens fucked to get eggs when he was a kid and never questioned it until now. In summation, my roommate is stupid, I'm stupid for listening to him, and chickens just kind of lay eggs.

And that was my Tuesday.

Also, while I was grabbing the screenshot above I went ahead and grabbed this one too because it made me laugh:

Untitled_medium

Tweet Comment 42 comments | 0 recs |

Do you like this story?

Comments

I nearly put a post together about The Colony, but I’m not sure exactly how I feel about the show. Certainly the group’s had some nice achievements, but ultimately all I think I’m watching for is the time when some colonist goes apeshit on some Raider actor and a serious injury results.

Well, I guess they are in the process of building an A-Team-style war truck; I’m solidly behind that idea.

As for the chicken stuff, it’s weird but I just learned about chickens and egg-laying like a month ago, when a buddy of mine announced he was going to buy a few chickens for his backyard. I was shocked he had egg plans but no rooster plans, so he clarified things for me. I think we’ve all been led astray by the old riddle, “Which came first, the chicken or the egg?” For us non-farmers, it really should be, “Which comes first, the egg or the sex?”

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 25, 2009 4:13 PM PDT reply actions

And I thought I was the only person in the world desperate to not get off the coutch enough to watch The Colony. Either way it was awesome watching that chick kick muscle-man in the head. That tazer looks intimidating as hell too.

UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...

by Bleys on Aug 25, 2009 10:22 PM PDT up reply actions

GEEEEEOOOOORRRRRGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 25, 2009 10:27 PM PDT up reply actions

I’ve never left a guy behind until today! I’ve never left a guy behind UNTIL TODAY!!! We left a man behind — do you know what that means?! (kicks something random in anger)

I don’t know if I’m going to be able to quit this show if it continues with its quite-doctored awesomeness.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 25, 2009 11:21 PM PDT up reply actions

Now you guys have done it. I haven’t seen this week’s yet. Sitting on the DVR. I’ll have to watch that and Leverage tonight so you guys don’t ruin more for me.

UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...

by Bleys on Aug 26, 2009 2:34 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions

Maybe tomorrow you can learn why women have periods.

by Nut on Aug 25, 2009 4:16 PM PDT reply actions

Don’t confuse him anymore than he already is! And plus, can you image the post he will create once he figures out the answer to THAT!!

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Aug 25, 2009 8:00 PM PDT up reply actions

if it helps it looks like Donald just had his in the picture above

by Nut on Aug 25, 2009 9:20 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs

AWW!!

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 25, 2009 11:45 PM PDT up reply actions

they have them so they have an excuse to buy new underwear…

and to attract bears

Put those cookies back..Mutha fucka!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 26, 2009 7:01 AM PDT up reply actions

You had a male roommate named Meg?

by Donzo on Aug 25, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions

I was wondering about that too.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Aug 25, 2009 11:14 PM PDT up reply actions

Yeah, when Rudy wrote

(You: Wait, did he write ‘a little more?’)

I was thinking “Actually I’m still held up on the fact that Meg is a dude.”

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 25, 2009 11:48 PM PDT up reply actions

It’s weird that he thought that. That would mean that he thinks every chicken egg he eats is fertilized, but I’d wager he’s still disgusted at the idea of people eating balut.

Anaheim Calling
http://anaheimcalling.blogspot.com

by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 25, 2009 4:18 PM PDT reply actions

As for the chicken stuff, it’s weird but I just learned about chickens and egg-laying like a month ago, when a buddy of mine announced he was going to buy a few chickens for his backyard. I was shocked he had egg plans but no rooster plans, so he clarified things for me. I think we’ve all been led astray by the old riddle, "Which came first, the chicken or the egg?" For us non-farmers, it really should be, "Which comes first, the egg or the sex?"

“Battle of California: Where we know a lot about hockey but shit about chickens.”

You had a male roommate named Meg?

He comments on here and Fear the Fin as “Megalodon,” like the giant shark, but I refer to him as Meg because I think he thought naming himself “MEGALODON” was cool and now he’s a girl.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 25, 2009 4:21 PM PDT reply actions

I mean, it’s nothing that I’ve thought too much about, I guess. Per the stereotype, all farms have roosters, right? I guess I just figured they must have some function besides being pains in the ass about sunlight.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 25, 2009 4:27 PM PDT up reply actions

Major poultry farms operate without roosters. Small farms have roosters though, sometimes to make more chickens. And I’ve actually run into a few small farmers who believe having a rooster there somehow affects egg laying.

But to extrapolate from my own experience: You need a rooster to outthink the chicken hawks, I say, I say.

Anaheim Calling
http://anaheimcalling.blogspot.com

by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 25, 2009 4:29 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs

+1!!

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Aug 25, 2009 11:15 PM PDT up reply actions

Rudy Kelly: future guest blogger for Animal Planet. Book it.

When I'm not battling in California:
Cycle Like The Sedins

by jamestobrien on Aug 25, 2009 6:32 PM PDT reply actions

I have a warped enough mind without reading your stuff. I seriously think it will send me over the edge of something.

Please go back to school! Did you really have that conversation? If so, please tell me you didn’t attend school in California. ugh!

(shakes head in disbelief)

And I’m going to shoot myself for asking this, but …

Wait, did he write ’a little more?

… please clarify.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Aug 25, 2009 8:05 PM PDT reply actions

… please clarify.

I wrote that a chicken’s egg is only a little more delicious than a human female’s.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 25, 2009 10:13 PM PDT up reply actions

I think Rudy has a menstruation fetish.

Good luck with that one.

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 25, 2009 11:49 PM PDT up reply actions

Yes I know that bit … but … I wanted you to give me detail behind … oh fuck it … nevermind … I am sure the sane part of my mind really shouldn’t be asking.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Aug 26, 2009 12:03 AM PDT up reply actions

So wait a minute then.

How does the rooster fertilize the laid egg, if the females are laying eggs constantly without fertilization? Does the rooster just like grind on the egg, blow all over it, and then the egg absorbs this and becomes fertilized or something? Somehow, I don’t think that’s the case. And if it is, I don’t know how I feel about eggs being covered in chicken spunk.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Aug 25, 2009 11:17 PM PDT reply actions

He probably bones the chicken and then the next egg that it lays is fertilized.

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 25, 2009 11:51 PM PDT up reply actions

oh.

that would probably make sense, wouldn’t it?

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Aug 26, 2009 1:30 AM PDT up reply actions

that needed to be said…i still didnt get it till i scorlled all the way down on the comments

im kinda happy knowing now that i havent been eating fertilized eggs now this whole time

i also am unlcear do we also eat roosters? or just female chickens? is there a different taste?

riddle me that batman

Put those cookies back..Mutha fucka!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 26, 2009 6:58 AM PDT up reply actions

Rooster tastes like cock. Get it?!

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 26, 2009 6:36 PM PDT up reply actions

i didnt realize i set myself up for that one….so much for that halo on top of that duck there …huh brokenyard?

Put those cookies back..Mutha fucka!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 27, 2009 6:18 AM PDT up reply actions

omg I almost spit my tea out !! hilarious!

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Aug 27, 2009 9:30 AM PDT up reply actions

hope you dont normally spit lol!!!

were in mid season form ehhh

Put those cookies back..Mutha fucka!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 27, 2009 9:58 AM PDT up reply actions

ha ha !

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Aug 27, 2009 10:54 AM PDT up reply actions

great post rudy…dont know what i would do without you..your my hero

Put those cookies back..Mutha fucka!!

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 26, 2009 7:02 AM PDT reply actions

Also, I think yesterday really gives you insight into how our minds work here at BoC:

-Mike writes a post about the motivations behind Doug Wilson’s declaration that Patrick Marleau hadn’t been asked to waive his no-trade clause. That makes sense, because Mike likes dealing with the psychological part of hockey.

-Earl writes a post about whether or not Andrew Ebbet will make the Ducks next year. That makes sense, because Earl likes dealing with the abstract, theoretical part of hockey.

-I write a post about how I don’t understand how chickens work, because I’m retarded.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 26, 2009 11:16 AM PDT reply actions

Seriously, a banner day. All we needed was a post that awkwardly linked hockey to pro wrestling from James O’B and a few PJ photos. :)

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 26, 2009 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions

And a cartoon!

2009-10 LA Kings Hockey: Where Smyt Happens!!

by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 26, 2009 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions

You convinced me — I have been overly lazy on the cartoon front.

One coming tomorrow for sure.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 26, 2009 7:05 PM PDT up reply actions

AWKWARDLY?

(Begins searching for a steel chair)

When I'm not battling in California:
Cycle Like The Sedins

by jamestobrien on Aug 26, 2009 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions

Oh, apparently “awkwardly” is a real word too? I was just trying to combine the words “awesomely” and “backward” to describe that glorious nostalgia…

(Edges away awkwardly)

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Aug 26, 2009 9:30 PM PDT up reply actions

It’s one of those words like luxuriate that just doesn’t seem like a real word.

UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...

by Bleys on Aug 27, 2009 11:56 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions

And they all came on the same day, before which there were 3 days without posts.

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Aug 26, 2009 6:37 PM PDT up reply actions

We have a routine here: write on Friday, drink all weekend, struggle to get out of bed on Monday, post on Tuesday.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Aug 26, 2009 7:53 PM PDT up reply actions

Comments For This Post Are Closed

FanPosts

Community blog posts and discussion.

Recent FanPosts

+ New FanPost All FanPosts >

Pacific Standings

	GP	W	L	OTL	PT
San Jose Fear The Fin	49	29	14	6	64
Los Angeles Jewels From The Crown	52	25	17	10	60
Dallas Defending Big D	50	26	22	2	54
Phoenix Five For Howling	51	22	21	8	52
Anaheim Anaheim Calling	51	19	24	8	46

(updated 2.3.2012 at 9:38 PM PST)

Network Bar

Battle of California -

Takes and trash talk from all sides of the NHL's most pathetic rivalry