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Drinky Post: In Defense of Mark Whicker


First disclaimer: I've been drinking.  Not a ton, but enough.

Second disclaimer: I only decided to write this post tonight -- I should probably research and link, but then I wouldn't have the courage to write this at all.  Do your own web research on this one; I'm running this post linkless.

Third disclaimer: I don't follow the "real" news one bit -- I'm way more ignorant about whatever kidnapping happened than probably any of you.

Now, properly disclaimered, let's begin:

Star-divide

Item the first: Mark Whicker is an OC Register sports columnist who wrote a despicable piece -- what in essence was a "Let's measure 18 years by chronicling OC sports history" column was derailed by its horrific premise -- the column was directed towards a kidnap / rape / mindfuck victim that had recently shown up in the news.

There's so many problems with the intro to the article that I really can't go through them all -- the internet has already done a lot of that for me.  The fact that I was shocked has to say something -- hell, I read Rudy Kelly all the damn time -- Whicker attempted a punchline that was beyond disastrous.  Hell, it could be career-ending.

And I've got nothing against sympathy for kidnap victims nor against outrage at insensitivity -- everybody who writes in a public forum should get a grasp on what you can write about and more importantly, what you CANNOT write about.  Whicker had no such grasp on this one -- it's obvious from his stupid article and it's obvious from his even-more-stupid retraction (which may have hinted at regret).

Fucking Whicker was wrong -- I get it, you get it, everybody but Whicker gets it. 

Item the second: Mark Whicker is an OC Register sports columnist that I've somewhat grown up with -- now those of you who know me can attest I don't follow any sport well except hockey; I'm very blind to what happens in other sports.  But, for more than half my life, I have been an OC Register subscriber, and still am today -- I got my Whicker shock in print, not online. 

And I know Mark Whicker -- not that I read him terribly, as he has a fascination with "popular" sports, but I've seen his face on the front page of the OC Register sports section forever.  He's a staple -- I've never known an OC Register without his commentary.  And he is, to the best of my knowledge, a sports-roundup guy.  He'll touch on all the big sports stories in SoCal -- of course focusing on the favorites (Lakers + college football), but he makes his rounds.  And as such, he's developed a voice of the observer -- he provides cheap commentary to what happens in SoCal sports.

And that's almost the issue -- if you look at what has been termed the "Worst Sports Article Ever" (I'm misquoting), if you ignore the awful-joke premise, there's actually a lot of content in there -- this guy is pulling from a lot of sports to tell what has turned out to be the worst joke in printed media.  Here's a guy, one I have to think is awfully rare, who can sort through 18 years of assorted sports history and pull together a tapestry of the sports landscape, one that otherwise would appeal to Joe SoCal SportsFan.  Ignoring the brutal premise, it's actually a pretty insightful piece -- I wouldn't have the wherewithal nor the perspective to be able to construct it myself.

In fact -- aside from the terrible joke, it's actually a valuable piece from a valuable perspective -- a guy who's seen and covered and experienced it all, recounting his collected memories in the worst setting ever.

Item the Third: There really is no third item, but here's the question -- how bad should we crucify a good sports guy for a joke gone terribly sour?  Is it over for Whicker -- can we really not find forgiveness for this guy?

I mean, I don't vouch for him that well -- I don't know him much more than his byline photo, but seriously -- the guy fucks up one joke, and it's off to the unemployment line?  I don't know -- it's definitely possible I'm misreading the tea leaves here, and perhaps all I've been reading is angry comments from people reading Mark Whicker for the first time.

But here's the thing -- if the OC Register is interested in having a sportswriter with a handle on sports history in SoCal, one who can bring a lot of that history together, and one who can write to the SoCal sports fan, I don't think they'll ever find one more suited to the task than Mark Whicker.  I mean, we'll probably see the guy fired, but isn't that my loss?  Aren't I about to lose a valuable and unique voice because of some stupid joke?

Yeah, newspapers are dying, and probably, Mark Whicker's out of a job soon anyways -- but that's not my drinky point tonight.  I guess my real problem is seeing what outrage can occur from one joke-gone-bad.  Twenty years gets pushed out the door in a second -- and that's tough to watch.

Mark Whicker is not a bad guy.  Well, probably he's not.  He got caught in a bad moment by a Twitter-machine designed to prey upon bad moments.  He fucked up, and it's going to cost him.  And it depresses me.

Why?  Well, I'm a guy who makes bad jokes on the web.  It has to be an inevitability that at some point, if I write long enough (and drunk enough), I'm bound to cross some stupid line -- I'll make the joke that nobody in their right mind makes.  It will be horrible, it will be public, and it will demonstrate some inherent flaw in my moral code.  I suspect someday I'll be the web's latest "Whicker-bitch", and whatever credibility I've mustered (admittedly, very little -- I'm still using a fake name) will get thrown out the door like yesterday's newspaper.

(See?  "Yesterday's Newspaper" is a fucking horrible joke that only vaguely incorporates the relevant issues.)

Item the Fourth: In closing, I'll say this -- I think we all need to show a little more forgiveness to Mark Whicker -- not even because he deserves it so much as someday I'll deserve it.  Fucking up is a part of the writing process, whether you're a rookie or a veteran, and no matter how deep-end one article goes -- what matters is his larger body of work, not the worst example available. 

Mark Whicker, I'm only one subscriber that only half-reads your articles, but you are still welcome in my newspaper.  No more jokes about pervert-current-events, please, but for sure I'll take the seen-it-all-in-SoCal insight.  I can definitely sympathize with a joke-gone-sour, dude, because some day I'll overstep that line, too.

Hope you'll forgive me then, too.

Feel free to offer your comments, drinky or not.  Sobriety starts tomorrow!

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But here’s the thing — if the OC Register is interested in having a sportswriter with a handle on sports history in SoCal, one who can bring a lot of that history together, and one who can write to the SoCal sports fan, I don’t think they’ll ever find one more suited to the task than Mark Whicker. I mean, we’ll probably see the guy fired, but isn’t that my loss? Aren’t I about to lose a valuable and unique voice because of some stupid joke?

Yeah, newspapers are dying, and probably, Mark Whicker’s out of a job soon anyways — but that’s not my drinky point tonight. I guess my real problem is seeing what outrage can occur from one joke-gone-bad. Twenty years gets pushed out the door in a second — and that’s tough to watch.

I agree with this in principle. I don’t generally like the idea of people making a single foot in mouth type mistake and losing a job over it. However, I think that many of those sorts of “little bit of everything as long as its popular” journalists (I’m looking at you Mitch Albom and Woody Paige) are worthless as hell, and very possibly shouldn’t have jobs doing what they do anyways. To be fair, I don’t read Whicker, but its been my experience so far in Denver and in Michigan, with two of the “best” in the business in that front page general sports columnist position that they pretty much suck, so I’m reluctant to cut anyone in that area much slack. Hell, even outside of the newspaper, Jay Mariotti’s work on FanHouse is right in the same vein. Puck Daddy did a piece a couple weeks ago on the idea of the death of the general sports columnist, and how it was a good thing, and I wholeheartedly agree. I have a hard time finding the loss of such journalists to be much of a loss to me, at least in their current capacities.

That was getting fairly close to completely off-topic, but it really boils down to “your job sucks, so I don’t really care if you lose it.” Totally unfair, as I don’t read Whicker, but the newspapers have certainly burned up what little sympathy or give-a-damn I might’ve ever had for them, so Whicker ends up as collateral damage amongst my general disdain for the newspaper.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Sep 11, 2009 2:14 AM PDT reply actions  

Yeah, and I should say that Whicker specifically isn’t any personal loss — he writes across all fields, which usually puts him outside of my caring range.

But I still think there’s some principle here about having the ability to faceplant a joke — the more we bite people’s heads off when they overstep a boundary, the more timid our resulting comedy and commentary is likely to be. I think there needs to be some leniency to the guys who fuck up once — think Cosmo Kramer, perhaps.

Or hell, Sean Avery, I guess.

I don’t know, this all probably made more sense to me last night, but it definitely discourages me to see us (a) clamor to be entertained, but (b) throw people to the curb at the point when they take it one step too far. Mark Whicker just seemed to me to be a classic example, plus since I do have some idea about who the guy is, I figured I probably should throw in my two cents — there’s plenty of people writing about Mark Whicker who have read him less than I have, I suspect.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 7:11 AM PDT up reply actions  

Actually, scratch Avery — he’s a bad example, because he’s somewhat of a regular offender. I still think he got unfairly shafted for playing the reporter game the way he usually does, but that was a league action.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 7:30 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I definitely agree with you there. The more we ask people to push the line, the more we ask them to go further and further, you can’t be surprised or that upset when someone pushes it a little too far. I definitely agree with you there, and dislike the way society in general has a tendency to jump up someone’s ass for going a little too far in being the character we want them to be.

But hey, the difference between the exalted journalist and the blogger in his mommy’s basement is training, credibility, and the higher standard to which a professionally trained and educated journalist is held, as opposed to all the dumbshit bloggers that inhabit the internets, right? Given how much the newspapers and most of their reporters, particularly those of the general sports column ilk, love to point that out, I don’t have a problem with holding him to that higher standard they’re all so damn full of, and having his ass fired. Next time, don’t be so high and mighty when your product sucks.

Now if it were Mitch Albom, I’d be clamoring for the guillotine.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Sep 11, 2009 11:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

If you can’t tell, I’m pretty much cool with watching the newspapers burn. I started a fight with my girlfriend when she got another subscription to the Denver Post.

http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.

by IAmJoe on Sep 11, 2009 11:41 AM PDT up reply actions  

But hey, the difference between the exalted journalist and the blogger in his mommy’s basement is training, credibility, and the higher standard to which a professionally trained and educated journalist is held, as opposed to all the dumbshit bloggers that inhabit the internets, right?

No, you’re certainly right there — and it’s not bloggers pushing that party line, it’s the MSM pushing back on bloggers. So yeah, Whicker definitely failed his profession’s vaunted claims, that’s for sure.

As for newspapers burning, I’ll live with it, but it’s not anything I’m particularly rooting for. I still depend on reporters for a lot of my hockey following, and once that goes — who knows? I hope it doesn’t come to the day when teams report their own news, or worse, rely on me to do it.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

I was shocked by the article (it really is astonishingly misguided), but I wasn’t offended until the apology. That guy isn’t sorry at all, and he clearly doesn’t agree that he crossed a line. If he wants to go down over a piece that shouldn’t have been written, then in many ways, that’s his choice.

Earl, don’t worry. When you make your fatally-bad joke no one is really going to care. I don’t say that to be an ass, I just say it honestly. A big part of the “outrage” over this is the fact that it was written by a professional, on dead trees, approved by a professional editor, and funded by people PURCHASING the product. A joke that might fly in a bar when everyone is wasted isn’t necessarily going to go over well in the paper. Fortunately for you, reading BoC is much more like hanging out with a bunch of retards in a bar than it is like reading a newspaper. When you make your joke at the expense of an 11-year-old-girl-who-was-kidnapped-and-raped-for-18-years, we’re all just going to be like, “Duuuuude, Earl. You’re cut off. It’s time to call a cab.” If you then turn into the belligerent drunken asshole at the bar ruining everyone’s good time you might have a problem, but if you just shut your trap and slink home, everyone will laugh about it in the morning.

by Katebits on Sep 11, 2009 7:38 AM PDT reply actions  

Yeah I hate the ol “If I offended you, then I’m sorry” like it’s the reader’s fault for being offended.

Put the Prozac away, what you need is Rat Poison.

by brokenyard on Sep 11, 2009 5:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

He should get fired because he wasn’t trying to be funny. He honestly thought it was a good idea and would help her recover. That’s just weird.

Man, I wish BIll Plaschke wrote this.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 11, 2009 7:51 AM PDT reply actions  

Yeah, I was coming back to say, the real problem with this article (in terms of our inability to forgive him) was that it was PROFOUNDLY unfunny, but maybe Rudy is on to something. If Whicker wasn’t trying to be funny, he’s totally insane.

by Katebits on Sep 11, 2009 7:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

I think he was trying to be funny, or at least amusing, and miscalculated by a mile. Like when I write post-letters to Brian Burke — even though he’s the guy in the subject line that I keep addressing, he’s not the real audience — BoC readers are.

And Katebits, you’re totally right about Whicker being on another set of standards for sure — that’s probably where I come at this too callously, I think. But newspapers and all their ethics have to fight tooth and nail against media without any standards now, and I think lines are getting more and more blurred.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 8:10 AM PDT up reply actions  

I was thinking the other day that I’ve never actually gotten a complaint from someone about something I wrote. Well, my dad because I say fuck a lot, but I think that’s it. I assume my detractors are too lazy to write e-mails.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 11, 2009 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

We’re probably off the hook for a lot because we’re openly idiots about it. Plus it’s the internet — none of it’s mandatory; detractors can just go shop elsewhere.

Though I have to admit — one thing I totally miss about the blogspot site was the pasing voice of the pissed-off anonymous commenter. The fact that SBN has a registration and join step has cost us a lot of comically angry feedback, I think.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 9:22 AM PDT up reply actions  

There are just some things you do not joke about … and this is coming from someone who normally says everything is game for a good joke … but rape of a child … man, that is crossing so many lines you just can’t come back from it.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Sep 11, 2009 8:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

I guess, but I probably believed more in that theory before South Park’s rise to popularity. Not that Whicker’s even remotely in that genre, but sometimes the point of the joke is to hit the deepest nerve or cause the biggest shock.

It’s America — off limits only exists in theory.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 9:02 AM PDT up reply actions  

You know … if it was a female who has been thru it telling the joke, understandable … but honestly don’t you find it just a little bit odd that the jokes come from males who have no fucking clue what they are talking about? They want to hit a nerve? I’m trying to not get annoyed here, but how dare they! It is their own gender doing this shit to children (in the very huge majority of cases). And they want to make a joke of it? Males do not have a leg to stand on in this. Until they are the victims, they can just shut the fuck up. They have no place to make a joke out of something they have no understanding of. And something they dont’ even try to understand. Shit you have way too many of your kind that still don’t understand that rape is a violent act.

Okay, off my soapbox and perhaps I should just shut up myself.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Sep 11, 2009 9:56 AM PDT up reply actions  

… but honestly don’t you find it just a little bit odd that the jokes come from males who have no fucking clue what they are talking about?

Well, it’s telling for sure. It takes some serious emotional detachment to joke about tough shit in the world, and guys seemingly have that in spades — I laugh at horrible shit all the time.

But I don’t know — the guys who write shock comedy are products of the society that embraces it — while we can certainly hope for a more reasonable set of standards, unless the marketplace stops embracing its Borats and its Jackasses, I suspect we’re unlikely to see it very soon.

And don’t fret about giving your honest assessment — it’s 9/11. Today was seemingly built for soapboxes.

http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Sep 11, 2009 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions  

if it was a female who has been thru it telling the joke, understandable

I’m not going to say Mark Whicker was raped (though he certainly wasn’t kidnapped, which I think is the crux of his article), but he could have been raped as a child or even as an adult. Men can be raped. The Catholic priest fallout was all about molestation, but some of those priests had rape stories from seminary. And there are certainly child rape stories akin to that movie Sleepers. You don’t have to be in prison to be raped as a man. I’m not saying it’s the same thing or that the differences are limited to the differences between men and women, but men can be raped.

I, personally, wouldn’t let any writer off with an ‘understandable’ on this unless the body of their work was about getting through the ordeal. A sportswriter traditionally gives you little or nothing of his human interest side, which makes much easier to think of him as dispassionate when he tries to make comedy of tragedy.

Anaheim Calling
http://anaheimcalling.blogspot.com

by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Sep 11, 2009 1:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Also keep in mind that fucking dude had a wife that was going along with the whole thing. She was arrested along with him.

Siko’s come in both genders, and victims are on both sides as well.

Whicker is just an idiot.

by Mike in OC on Sep 11, 2009 3:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

I agree. I think he was imagining himself in that situation (probably more like Tom Hanks in Castaway) and the first thing he thought of catching up on was the sports he missed. Probably not what that girl is worried about though.

by Nut on Sep 11, 2009 9:01 AM PDT up reply actions  

I’m not going to lie, my first question after being imprisoned for 18 years would probably be, “Are the Kings any good?”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Sep 11, 2009 10:49 AM PDT up reply actions  

and answer would still be “NO!” … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?

by ang6666 on Sep 11, 2009 10:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

It hurts because it’s true

by Nut on Sep 11, 2009 12:50 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

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