Sharks Gameday: I Don't Like This


Next Game


The following is a partial list of things that I enjoy more than watching the Sharks lose 6-1:

- The song "Whip My Hair."

- Papercuts.

- Frostbitten testicles.

- Waiting in a three-hour line at the DMV to clear up a problem with a change of address form only to find when I get to the front counter that I need a copy of that very form, which they mailed back to my old address, which now has strangers living in it.

- Poison ivy.

- Telemarketers.

- That feeling you get when you are driving and then the cars in front of you slam on their brakes and so you do it too and you nearly crash and your heart pounds so hard you feel like you're going to die.

-That shitty ventriloquist comedian.

- Lyme disease.

- Paying taxes.

- Computer viruses.

- Tofurkey.

- Dropping my iPhone in the toilet.

Prediction: The Sharks switch to whatever phase of Jekyll and Hyde is good at hockey, and win 5-2. Goals by some guys who are good today, but played like garbage last night.

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