update: looks like we got the non whimsical lappariere good bye uncle fester..we hardly cared about you..link here
(This turned into a 2 part post...when I first wrote it..I did'nt realize this was a new years eve game..so the first part before the jump is more about the game and opponent and after the jump is more related to new years..so enjoy)
Hey Guess whos back in town today(at the grove in anaheim)?
Donavon Frankenreiter !!!
Frankenreiter ?I dunno who the hell that is..but look at that stache niiice!!
& Sugar Ray!!!(now thats a new years party you dont want to miss)
Take an OC girl to this concert..instant panty peeler!!!
.....oh yea that and Captian Elbows!!
Welcome home oops hes now out injured...so I rewrote the post i had written about pronger's return to talk about the latest with the ducks:
Getzlaf out with a bad beak its looks like...he won't be able to smell the mesquite from his new years days ribs...and it looks like bobby ryan will take his spot on the top line..and puts el nino back in the lineup. Im watching the kings at the moment ole-ing in 6 goals again..so lets hope philly blew there load last nite..what ducks will we get tonite? who knows??
now story tiiime!!
Although I play a black man on TV I'm actually Hispanic..being Hispanic means I can dance well and Im lazy...but eat the food of the gods...Yum chicken mole...yum menudo yum Del Taco*!!anyways..hispanics (I'm mexican and dominican) also like to make fun of ourselves and other hispanics..so hey lets do what we do!!..I've never been to Philly...the closest Ive been is Pittsburgh..I'm going to assume cuz I'm ignorant..that Philly is somewhat similar to Pittsburgh..(I swear in Pittsburgh we saw one other Hispanic besides myself, no joke) so a Philly person would get a kick out one my brethren working at a Philly cheese steak stand in Philly...and here's what he'd be in store for:
Joe Philly..total fictional resident of Philadelphia drives thru Bobs Philly cheese steak Restaurant
Jaun: Yob's Fillie Yeese steak can you wafer a secon
Joe Philly: what? excuse me what did u say?
Jaun: can you wafer a secon
Joe Philly: I don't want no stinking wafer I want two #1's
Jaun: jue want two numbers?..how jue know my namng is Juan?
Joe Philly: no you idiot two of bob's belly buster specials
Jaun: ok tue hamberguesas con muster and yelly
Joe Philly: are you kidding me? you moron 2 Philly cheese steaks with fries and cokes!! jesus!
Jaun: Juarez your problem?
Joe Philly: you, you piece of shit you can't even get my damn order right
Jaun: you a pizza chit
Joe Philly: o your calling me a piece of shit? I'm gonna bust your face in
Jaun: ok tue yelly buster specials drive thru
*my grandma would kill me if she read that..she does go on the internet she'ses sooo high tech
ok now lets adress new years eve! after the jump
So lets recap the week shall we…the ducks laid an egg against the queens after the 1st period…then have a face to face..heart to heart..cock to cock..balls to chin talk..and they come out and a lay a whooping on the boring yotes..what to think right about our duckos? well they need some new years resolutions don't you think?...well its cliché to have new years resolutions but lets be cliché...and since I got the forum for a couple more days till they banish me back to un-author cellar I want to include/celebrate some of fine commentors..cuz spade is for the little common people!!!...call me spade Teresa!!
Resolutions the ducks and the peeps at boc should make:
The ducks team: easy one here to be more consistant in all phases of the game..and play all 3 periods
Gorilla head: have these assholes prepared 4 every game…its your job puto
Getzlaf: Act like a captian and lead by example..stop barking at the refs.."shoot" first, pass second.UPDATE: fix your shnaze and dont be out for too long
Perry: nothing…your awesome in every way do not change..offensive mvp so far
Ryan: Do the opposite of everything your doing cuz u suck right now
Koivu: get back on defense more I guess your plus minus sucks.
Blake: practice your aim…your doing everything well but not scoring.
Teemu: pace yourself and be prepared to tickle our hearts again next season…play more golf or hit the sauna if it makes u happy
Lupul: go on a 3 goals a game tear for the rest of the year so we can see jen in a bikini..and stop being creepy on twitter
Parros: take some MMA and/or boxing classes…winning 1 fight out of 10 is embarrassing
Marchant: see blake
Mcmillilan:keep being promising
Earl Sleek: do more drunk posts and maybe invest in a new scanner…although I loved the sketches
Meg: Like the hulk separate from rudy(bruce jenner) and be your own person..
Rudy Kelly: do nothing your awesome and are a gawd…ok maybe shower once or twiceUPDATE: write a story about your circle jerk cabin experience on new years
Tu madre: curve your hat and lower your truck
Grace: bring over yourself and an asian friend in lingiere to spades house for umm milk and cookies
Brokenyard: stop being absent all year wtf?
Niesy: Stop being a manhater
Scottyknow(s): pick a screen name!!
Sleza: stop being a finnish homer lol!!
Kevin Y: go thru puberty
Angy: Get over the sharks there never winning the cup
Cmatthew: hand over your wife to me!!..and keep writing intresting fanposts!
Wooster: keep riding my jock!
Mike Chen: you’re a traitor how dare u leave this fine blog "choke yourself"(full metal jacket)
Sk eleven: just keep being awesome..come around more often though
Nut: have your last name changed..you don't want anyone knowing your related to a certain beastality mofo
Dodgerblueballs: cut your balls open and see if you bleed dodger blue like ole Tommy
IN lour we trust guy: write a fanpost for boc somtime you silly
Im sure I forgot a lot of people…but I always do ….so tell me in these comments and curse me..and dont be offended if I offended...I jest the people I love...you guys can tell me what resolution I should make...Im sure take an English or grammer class will be popular..but seriously thanks all commentors!!
So lastley to end this huge post I wanted you all to thank our 3 tenors of the BOC Earl, Rudy and Meg for entertaining us all year...we all got shitty jobs and work hard and need a good laugh and they provide it..even when our team stinks...thanks guys!!! see all you bastards next year!!! GO DUCKS!!
Go ducks! Ducks eat too many cheesesteaks but still win 5-3, goals by
Baldy Lupul x2, Perry, Sbisa, Odonnell gets sentimential and scores one for the ducks