Sharks Gameday: Team Meeting
by Megalodon on Apr 10, 2010 10:18 AM PDT
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Douglas Murray: Hey guys, thanks for coming, nice to see you.
Patrick Marleau: Hi Murray.
Joe Thornton: How's it going, buddy?
DM: Pretty busy, of course. Lots of, you know, preparation we need to take care of before the playoffs.
PM: Right, that's what you said in your e-mail.
DM: Okay so let me just go through the agenda here...
JT: Is anyone else coming?
DM: No, it's just us three - core of the team, right? Plus I only have three chairs. Here we go, Team Meeting. Patrick Marleau?
PM: What?
DM: This is the roll call, Patrick, you're supposed to say "present" or "here."
PM: Oh, uh, okay. Present.
DM: Joe Thornton?
JT: Present.
DM: And Murray, present. Okay, item One: Offense. That's, uh, that's goal-scoring. We should do that. As much as possible. Agreed?
JT: Uh, yeah, of course.
DM: And you, Patrick?
PM: Yes Murray, we should score goals.
DM: Great, I'll put you both down for "Yes." Item 2D: Fence. Something about a fence, seems to be what I wrote here. I don't really remember what that was about, maybe some sort of picket or chain-link...
JT: Is that supposed to be "defense"?
DM: Ah, yes, that's right. Thank you Joseph. I had an idea about how to improve team defense. Basically I think we should have three defenders instead of two, and that two of them should concentrate on stopping the other team from scoring and the other guy can just try to hit people all the time.
JT & PM: ....
DM: Oh, and I would play all sixty minutes of the game, like Nabby does.
JT & PM: ...
DM: And I would be the hitting guy.
JT & PM: ...
DM: And you two could get a chance to play defense, so it's a win-win! What do you think, guys?
PM: I don't think so Murray.
JT: Yeah, it needs some work.
DM: Alright boys, alright, I understand. Item 3: Team Colors.I was thinking, ever since the Olympics, that we might want to consider changing our team colors? Maybe, you know, adding some yellow?
PM: Yellow? You mean, like, for Sweden?
DM: Well, come on, it's not necessarily for Sweden. Other things have yellow on them too, aside from the Swedish flag.
PM: Such as....?
DM: Uh....Oranges? No, wait, hold on, I'll think of something.
PM: It doesn't really matter, Murray - we're not in charge of the team colors anyway. Did you have anything else?
DM: Well I did have some plays that I've designed that I was hoping to discuss with you...
PM: Sorry Murray, we really do have to get going.
DM: Okay guys, sounds good. Thanks for coming by - I'll see you at the game!
I would like to dedicate this article to the roughly 0.0002% of the world who both A) Know who Douglas Murray is and B) Have seen "The Flight of the Conchords." You are my brothers.
Prediction: Sharks win 5-1, smacking the shit out of the Coyotes and sending a message to whoever they end up playing in the first round. Murray scores all five goals and Huskins beats someone up.
Mascot fight: Two words: Coyote chum.
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Excellent.
DM: And to top it off, I’ve booked us a gig.
PM: A real gig?
DM: Aye, in a giant arena. A first-rate facility. Right in the heart of Stockholm.
JT: Stockholm? Sweden?
DM: Bloody right Sweden. You’ll be headlining for the Blue Jacket Experience in October.
PM: I’m out of the band.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
If anyone has any estimates on the overlap between those who know who Douglas Murray is and those who have seen Flight of the Conchords, I’d be interested. I feel like I’m writing for six people.
Everything sucks except for the Sharks.
www.battleofcali.com
i definitely know of douglas murray
and have seen one episode of conchords.
it is rare air up here indeed.
"Devin Setoguchi’s haircut has released the dragon" ~Drew Remenda
For some reason I have a feeling Jumbo is going to be a goddamn beast this year. Sharks are going to be tied 1-1 in the series going on the road for game three in the first round, and five minutes into the second he is just going to take over. ~Plank
"He (Iginla) thinks he’s a pretty tough guy, so why not?" ~ Ryan Clowe
by Jay Fin Anderson on Apr 10, 2010 1:37 PM PDT up reply actions
I saw an episode a while ago. What are the great episodes of this show? It reminds me a little of of a drug-free Mighty Boosh.
by live every week like it's shark week on Apr 10, 2010 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions
Really if you just start at the first episode and start watching and don’t like it after ten minutes you probably won’t. It’s a very specific kind of humor that definitely isn’t for everyone.
If the “Band Meeting” clips on youtube don’t make you laugh, the show isn’t for you.
Everything sucks except for the Sharks.
www.battleofcali.com
I’ve heard that song “Prettiest Girl in the Whole Wide Room” or whatever. Psuedocomedy.
I'm here! I know, I brighten the room. Everything's better.
It’s possible to totally like the show and think the songs are dumb.
Everything sucks except for the Sharks.
www.battleofcali.com
Sure, to be fair, I haven’t seen the show because I don’t have HBO.
I'm here! I know, I brighten the room. Everything's better.
Sidereel is your friend.
"San Jose is where I want to be at the end of the day, and there's an opportunity now to make it there. It is where my heart is." - Jamie McGinn, 2/22/10
Fear The Fin: Where Selling Your Soul Is The Likely Solution
Patrick Marleau looks exactly like Andy Sandberg in the 2nd pic. I’m just waiting for him to start singing “Jizz in my pants”
Cheers, Complaints, homerism and bashing of mediocre pop musicians in 140 Characters
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding
by Kevin Sellathamby on Apr 10, 2010 11:07 AM PDT reply actions
As one of the people who is both a Sharks fan and Flight fan, this is awesome. Does my inclusion increase the percentage of overlap?
by CrazedZooChimp on Apr 10, 2010 11:40 AM PDT reply actions
Simply awesome. And yes, I am part of the 0.0002%
Now we just need to rewrite some FOTC songs with Sharks-related lyrics and we’re golden
How about...
“Foux Da Fa Fa is French for First Round Failure”
“I’m Not Crying. My eyes are just sweating from another earning President Cup without winning Lord Stanley.”
“A Kiss Is Not A Contract, and Patrick Marleau will get neither from Doug Wilson this offseason.”
“Mutha Ucker #8 seed did it to us again.”
“The Humans Are Dead along with our Stanley Cup aspirations.”
“Bowie’s In Space. The HP Pavillion is cold and lonely.”
“I could leave the playoffs right now…If You’re Into It .”
“Leggy Blonde married to the awkward ex-Captain.”
“Business Time is Drinking Time if you’re Drew Remenda!”
“Frodo, Don’t Wear The Ring and Heatly, Don’t Drive That Car!”
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Apr 10, 2010 8:02 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I know who Murray is, but I had never even heard of that show before.
But I don’t think you have to know the show to that this is hilarious. Great Job!
But who would score all the goals? hmmmmmmmmmmm…………….. I can’t think of anyone…………….
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Murray, Thornton and Marleau look like unlockable characters from Golden Eye.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Too many dicks on the dance floor...
Fucking awesome work, Meg. I would love to see Boyle and Nabby heading off the rink tonight singing “The Tape of Love” together. Count me amongst the 0.0002%.
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Apr 10, 2010 7:39 PM PDT reply actions
I would like to dedicate this article to the roughly 0.0002% of the world who both A) Know who Douglas Murray is and B) Have seen “The Flight of the Conchords.” You are my brothers.
I prescribe to the 0.0001% who
a) know Doug (yeah, that’s right, i did it, i called him Doug) Murray
b) love FoC
c) have seen Eagle vs Shark
"Whenever I’m suffering from insomnia, I just look at a picture of a Toyota Camry and I’m straight off."
Nice win by the Sharks tonight. Couture’s shootout goal was amazing.
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Apr 10, 2010 10:05 PM PDT reply actions
Hah – not a single penalty for the Sharks tonight! I guess they used them all up last game?
Everything sucks except for the Sharks.
http://www.battleofcali.com
Great post, this was hilarious. I have to say though, I was sort of disappointed in the second season of FotC.
"San Jose is where I want to be at the end of the day, and there's an opportunity now to make it there. It is where my heart is." - Jamie McGinn, 2/22/10
Fear The Fin: Where Selling Your Soul Is The Likely Solution
I was dissapointed in the songs of the 2nd season, but I think the show itself was still hilarious. The epileptic dog benefit was one of the funniest things I’ve seen in my life.
by SharksAddict on Apr 11, 2010 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions
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