Ducks Gameday -- Good Friday to you, too.
Vancouver Canucks (whatever) at Anaheim Ducks (whatever), 7 pm
Nucks Misconduct and Anaheim Calling --Brian Burke would be so proud.
Not exactly sure what the messed-up backstory is with this cartoon -- I sort of put it together by instinct -- but I do like the result:

Oops. He-Man is going to be pissed.
I'm not really sure what my plans are tonight -- I do have siblings in town for Easter weekend, and I'm guessing I probably won't be free at gametime, but we shall see.
In the meantime, who can provide a better case against retirement than Teemu Selanne himself? Over the past three game win streak, Selanne has a Jari-Kurri-tying 601st goal plus four assists. He has the primary assist on all three of Anaheim's power play goals over the stretch, and his even-strength line with Saku Koivu and Jason Blake has been money (especially for J-Blake's franchise-record-tying 5-point night on Wednesday, which even featured a J-Blake flubbed breakaway).
At 5-on-5 the past three games (thanks again, Vic), Teemu has been on the ice for 5 GF, 0 GA, and has been outshooting opponents 37-16. Saku has also been on the ice for 5 GF, 0 GA, and has been outshooting opponents 39-15. And the rat has been on the ice for 4 GF, 0 GA (he was able to execute his line change before Eminger's goal, unlike the lazy Finns), and has been outshooting opponents 19-9.
For sure it's a carefully-selected sample of games against some questionable end-of-season opponents -- the two games before that the Ducks were awful, though Teemu did get another assist -- but these are the games that Teemu may be looking at before making next summer's retirement decision, and the games that Saku may be looking at before making next summer's UFA decision. If they end the season dominant, who knows? I'm certainly in no rush to hurry that number up to the rafters.
Prediction: McElNiño (Arthur's coined nickname for a lineup featuring Nick Bonino and Curtis McElhinney) is now 3-0 without the services of Ryan Getzlaf or Jonas Hiller. They won their first game by 1 goal, their second game against a better team by 2 goals, and their third game against an even better team by 3 goals. So obviously, the Ducks lose today -- Canucks game-winner by a vengeful He-Man.
Go Ducks.
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Oh, and defenseman Nathan Oystrick has been recalled, though he may not play much as he’s recovering from a broken jaw.
If you recall, he’s the trade return for Evgeny Artyukhin, and per earlier BoC nonsense, he’s part oyster, part ostrich:
http://www.battleofcali.com/
he’s part oyster, part ostrich:
love it..fantastic
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 9:40 AM PDT up reply actions
based on this picture of him, of course he broke his jaw; it’s made of mollusk shell
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 2, 2010 10:01 AM PDT up reply actions
Hm, I guess maybe his promotion may have something to do with Luca Sbisa delaying his NHL eligibility?
Stupid winning.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Orko had it coming.
What are the odds that Luongo will be in net tonight? If they didn’t pull him at all last night, why not just let him play the rest of the year?
Everything sucks except for the Sharks.
I looked up some fun stats.
Since the lockout, Luongo is 1-2-1 in the regular season at the Honda Center, with a whopping 5.13 GAA and a .851 save percentage. The only victory came in the thirteenth round of a 7-6 shootout win.
Over the past three seasons, Luongo’s GAA in Southern California is 3.99 and his SoCal save percentage is .866.
So basically, please play Luongo — for some reason he sucks playing in Anaheim.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Since the lockout, Luongo is 1-2-1 in the regular season at the Honda Center, with a whopping 5.13 GAA and a .851 save percentage.
I should add, in none of those four games did Luongo surrender less than four goals. He’s quite welcome here.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I should add, in none of those four games did Luongo surrender less than four goals. He’s quite welcome here.
Aside from that Playoff series with Vancouver, Honda Center has always seemed to make Luongo go retarded. Whenever he plays at Honda center, it never fails that he makes some dumbass mistake that everyone watching sees except for him. Even in the playoff series he gave up that soft goal that Scott Niedermayer wristed from the blue line because he was bitching to the ref about something. Slow motion of that one had me and everyone at the bar cracking up. Mainly because you can see his eyes go wide as the puck passes him as he looks directly at the camera with an expression that says “O SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Fucking classic.
I don’t know if he could possibly suck any more than he did last night… Watch Browns second goal. Brown completely wiffs on the puck, yet somehow gave it the forward momentum of a grandma crossing the street and it slid right under a diving luongo, no need for a slow mo replay, the whole thing was in slow mo already.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Shocking, really — it’s not often these days in Kings games that both teams score goals. They’re turning into a tedious-to-watch-but-effective-nonetheless crew.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Wiffing a great chance is the standard Brown MO — you know it’s bad when it goes in anyway.
I really liked what the coach said afterwards when asked why he didn’t pull Luongo. He said it was “his game” and he’s got to be mentally strong. In other words, “You shit your bed, now lie in it.”
In Dinglebarn We Trust
koivu’s been on fire!
which helps me achive 4th place in fantasy hockey…
I really hope Selänne continues and Koivu resigns
"När jag slår ut dina tänder,
vill du vara nära mig då?"
Seriously — I think I’m about to win Rudy’s fantasy league with a team that’s relying on both Teemu and Saku.
(Well, I do have Ovechkin and Backstrom from Washington and Gomez and Gionta from Montreal, also — I murdered in that draft.)
I really hope Selänne continues and Koivu resigns
You have to say “re-signs” with a hyphen. Otherwise it gets confusing and it sort of looks like you want him to quit. :)
http://www.battleofcali.com/
so they can win something together this season!
both ovie and bäckström? i’m gonna assume you had the first pick… :P
oops, I definitely don’t want Koivu to quit (stupid english…)
"När jag slår ut dina tänder,
vill du vara nära mig då?"
Yeah, the +10 from the Finns last game was quite nice — I don’t even think that category’s close anymore.
And yup — first pick. Must have had my green shirt on that day.
Don’t sweat it — your English is better than my Finnish will ever be.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
that was rather lovely game by koivu :) sadly my atlanta department is killing the +/-
i think need green shirt if i play fantasy hockey again… though, i got bäckström from 2nd or 3rd round this time
that’s not really fair for you considering how screwed up language finnish is…
"När jag slår ut dina tänder,
vill du vara nära mig då?"
And also how little I’m devoting to learning it — I’ll wait until they invent a brain-insert microchip.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
and here i was thinking finnish is the most wanted foreign language to learn…
"När jag slår ut dina tänder,
vill du vara nära mig då?"
Anyone ever notice how often Todd Marchant takes backhand shots?
Bettman's Nightmare: A Blog Where Hockey Aficionados Dismantle That Mighty Empire, One Balsillie at a Time
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Apr 2, 2010 9:36 AM PDT reply actions
Really, it’s a rhetorical question…the guy could be on the point and he’d still give it the heave-ho from the oppo side.
Bettman's Nightmare: A Blog Where Hockey Aficionados Dismantle That Mighty Empire, One Balsillie at a Time
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Apr 2, 2010 9:37 AM PDT up reply actions
That’s Rob Niedermayer’s old trick. Rob was even better at it — he’d start moving the puck to his backhand automatically on a breakaway.
For Marchant, it doesn’t really matter, though — once you earn the nickname “Stone Hands”, expectations are irrationally low. Still love the guy, and am glad he’s on the roster next year. More Timmy!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
he makes me want to drink a guiness
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 9:42 AM PDT up reply actions
He remind me of this guy on our intramural soccer team…ran his ass off all over the field, but whenever he got the ball he just jacked it downfield or out-of-bounds. Great defender.
The surprising thing was he played with us for 5 years, and he never got better. Kind of like Marc-Andre Fleury.
Bettman's Nightmare: A Blog Where Hockey Aficionados Dismantle That Mighty Empire, One Balsillie at a Time
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Apr 2, 2010 9:43 AM PDT up reply actions
good attention to detail…patos labrynth
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 9:43 AM PDT reply actions
Yeah, the Orko image is stolen/modified, but overall I like how all the characters look in it. Definitely a bit loose on “what the fuck is going on”, but whatever — any excuse for a bloody Orko.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
yea orko was kind of a douchebag…..all about mossman..or that crab guy..forgot his name
good movie pans labrynth…i always love death by metal can
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 10:01 AM PDT up reply actions
good movie pans labrynth…
Yeah, I like that movie a lot. My favorite is any scene with the “root baby” (whatever the blue devil gave the girl to put under her mom’s bed), especially when it’s painfully burning in the fire.
I laughed about that the rest of the movie, I think — it’s still hilarious.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Orko makes the cartoon. It could just be a dead orko with disembodied bubbles and no title and i would laugh and laugh
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 2, 2010 10:03 AM PDT up reply actions
More important than who’s gonna be in goal for the Canucks: who’s gonna be in goal for the Ducks?
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Not Hiller.
They’ll go back to 4-0 McElhinney, I suspect. Carlyle likes that win-and-in pattern, plus Jonas still has back spasms or some shit.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I should add, it may have been McE even if Hiller were game-ready.
The guy does have a 1.98 GAA and a .933 sv% in a Ducks sweater — nothing shoddy from the guy yet.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I’d like to see that continue if not for any other reason than I think Hiller plays best when threatened to perform.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Well, since the Ducks don’t look like they’re making the playoffs, not sure it really matters.
McElhinney I know has gotten a lot of ice time in the last couple weeks. I was thinking, since Vigneault kept Luongo in for all 8 goals last night to get Raycroft in, that the Ducks* would put Mc in (backup v. backup), and then bring Hiller to us tomorrow and Tuesday.
But then, Hiller hadn’t played since last Wednesday, so I thought they’d want him to get a start and alternate the rest of the way, also so Mc could start against the Kings to see what happens, as well as not have to use Hiller for both of the home-and-home games.
*I had originally put Kings, but at the end of typing this post, I thought “Well, since they don’t have an edit button yet, I’d better preview.” Good thing, too.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
I’m not sure Hiller’s getting in either game this weekend. Read the OC Register blog for updates there, though (NOTE: I am not a journalist).
McElhinney played a total of 37 minutes for the Ducks before a week ago, so I don’t know if it’s “the last couple of weeks”. But he’s played every minute of the past week, largely because Hiller’s hurt.
And I think you’re putting more thought into this than anybody, as the games don’t matter anyways. Congrats.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
yea, and I was pretty much referring to next season myself. Although…do we even have this guy next season? I should probably figure that out
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
And now that I have…
yea, I’m referring to next season! ;)
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
We’ll see — if the name “McLucky” sticks, than for sure, but I think one of the problems from this season was that Hiller wasn’t getting in enough games at the start of the year.
There’s downside to too much flipping of netminders, I think.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
There’s downside to too much flipping of netminders
I couldn’t agree with that more…It was ridiculous how long it took stupid monkey head (or whatever the fuck you guys call him) to get it figured out.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
I think the plan was to say Hiller was “hurt” and then play McIlhenney for a better draft position, but Craig’s kinda fucking that up by being good.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
lets hope so
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 5:45 PM PDT up reply actions
Anyone going to this game? I’ll be in the four hundreds with my cousin from Italy and two friends of mine. Should be awesome, she’s never been to a hockey game.
Ahhh cool, we are in section 414. If you’re in that area stop by and say hello. Might be hard to miss us. There will be an Asian guy, an Italian girl, and two white guys, one very tall and loud. I’m the shorter one of the two.
Asian guy, an Italian girl, and two white guys
Doesn’t sound too distinct in a Ducks crowd. Probably one chicano away from a Royal Sampler.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 2, 2010 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions
“Oh, sorry, I’ll be more specific. I’ll be wearing an Angels hat with the flat brim, cocked slightly to the side. I’ll have on some faded ironic t-shirt. I’ll be tanned as fuck and overly buff and I’ll look like I played baseball in high school even though I didn’t.”
-John Q. Phats
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
"Oh, sorry, I’ll be more specific. I’ll be wearing an Angels hat with the flat brim, cocked slightly to the side. I’ll have on some faded ironic t-shirt. I’ll be tanned as fuck and overly buff and I’ll look like I played baseball in high school even though I didn’t."
I also drive a big truck and have a small dick.
hmm. makes me wonder how many OCers are descendants of the Jersey Shore
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 2, 2010 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions
holy shit….im laughing my ass off
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 5:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Doesn’t sound too distinct in a Ducks crowd. Probably one chicano away from a Royal Sampler.
I don’t know, she’s pretty obviously Italian to me, but I could be wrong. She wears colthing with Italian phrases all over it.
She wears colthing with Italian phrases all over it.
I was gonna say. What’s obviously Italian? A pizza hat and a mario mustache?
Hmm, again, I think i’ve been watching too much jersey shore.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Apr 2, 2010 2:12 PM PDT up reply actions
I was gonna say. What’s obviously Italian? A pizza hat and a mario mustache?
Hmm, again, I think i’ve been watching too much jersey shore.
blockquote>
LOL! Yeah, my original description still kind of sucked. We are in row P, if that narrows it down even more.
dont curse blockquote…it will comsume all your comments you if you piss it off..seee aaaaahhhh
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 5:50 PM PDT up reply actions
a mario mustache?
who knew parros was italian? i figured he would be greek in origin
parrio!!…wish he would have another good game
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 2, 2010 5:56 PM PDT up reply actions
If Orko can’t fly away from a duck with a stick, he deserves that somber fate.
I also had no idea he had some much blood under his little moo-moo.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
Dude, Orko’s all about having the tools to succeed but being a dumbshit fuckup all the same.
Should have been Anaheim’s logo this year, I guess.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Right, he’s a great side kick. He’d look ideal in a little business suit next to Sather or Sutter. It would explain their years wonderfully.
'Nucks Misconduct - Housing Swedish Millionaires Since 2000.
by Yankee Canuck on Apr 2, 2010 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions
Haha, Kesler got McIntimidated.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:09 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
lol
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 3, 2010 10:05 AM PDT up reply actions
Damn Austrians. Oh well, save us, Rat!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:15 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Teeeeeeeeeemoooooooo on the two man McOpportunity.
Goodbye, Kurri.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:24 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
Haha, yeah, except Perry wasn’t glued to Raycroft’s equipment this time.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:30 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Or he could sense it coming and preacted.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:37 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
i love these mc jokes..i cant get anough
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 3, 2010 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions
even if it wastn..its always ok to say that
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 3, 2010 10:06 AM PDT up reply actions
Damn Austrians. Oh well, save us, Rat!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:51 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
McSoftSpotForAustria.
Save us, Rat!
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 8:56 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
For the record, Grabner had only two goals in 16 previous career games.
How do y’all feel now?
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Technically, you aren’t mathematically eliminated yet. There’s still hope, especially since Coloroad has been sucking.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Let’s not get crazy, next thing you know you’ll tell me the Sharks could technically make it past the second round.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
haha
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least its not crack!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Apr 3, 2010 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions
Ping. Ping.
This isn’t hockey.. this is submarine warfare.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
by Evilducks on Apr 2, 2010 9:38 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Hey
Perry stole Pavelski’s wrister…
Bastard.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Would’ve pissed me off if Teemu got it and they threw hats on the ice
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
……..I’m not sure.
I mean yeah, I don’t like the Ducks, but there were too many Canucks fans at Staples Center last night. Would’ve been nice to know they flew down here to SoCal and didn’t see a win against two teams they probably should’ve beaten.
On the other hand….. should be a fun game tomorrow, and some ammunition for Sleek’s post tomorrow
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
and some ammunition for Sleek’s post tomorrow
Because I really have written a lot of hockey content lately.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I wonder if that’s why they “hired” Anaheim Calling and Jewels From The Crown to do all the “hockey” blogging.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
For sure, but since the Ducks have been virtually eliminated, I’ve gotten even worse. But definitely I’m glad there’s somebody else doing mandatory recaps.
I’ll take creative freedom.
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Apr 2, 2010 10:11 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I’ve thrown a hat on the ice for an Andy McDonald shootout goal where he scored zero goals in regulation.
I’m more proud of that than the one I threw when he scored an actual postseason hat trick.
http://www.battleofcali.com/

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