FanPost

Battle of Cali- Episode 1



OK, it's kind of awkward for me to post this.  But the producers have both e-mailed me some feedback.  The entire episode focuses around Rudy, Meg, Mike, and Earl dealing with the offseason.  Rudy's coping mechanisim is that he coaches a little girls hockey team during the sumer.  The producers actually really enjoyed this scene.  They said it was very funny.  One of the things they wanted to make sure I didn't do was make it too much about hockey.  But just enough about hockey that it would attract hockey fans as well as non hockey fans.  Putting the Rudy character in with a bunch of little girls just seemed like such an unnatural fit that it had to work.  They also enjoyed Megs scene which is still getting messed with.  Ang makes an appearance in Meg's scene and Spade gets mentioned in a conversation, but isn't there yet. 

BOC members, it feels strange creating a characters around you and I hope it doesn't bother you that I did this.  I kind of feel like I'm stealing ideas, but you guys are way to funny to not be heard.  On that note though, you guys feedback is very important to me.  If you guys have any suggestions, let me know.  Without further delay:

INT. HOCKEY RINK
RUDY KELLY, a man in his mid twenties wearing a Kings hat
talks to a group of 10 or so little girls. A whistle hangs
around his neck and he stands in front of a large white
board.
RUDY
OK, everyone, today we are going to
discuss two on ones and how not to
play them. Our example will be the
play Kim made near the end of the
last game. If you recall the
Rockets beat us in overtime because
Kim and Erin fucked up.
KIM and ERIN look uncomfortably at each other.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Now, first off how did the two on
one happen? What went wrong?
Well, sometimes it’s just luck, but
most of the time it’s just plain
stupidity. So, Christy made a
great pass to Erin. Erin was
coming up the right side. Cindy
was driving the center lane like
she should have. Now what Erin
should have done is aimed for the
goalies right pad to create a
rebound. Instead, she lifted the
shot over the goal tender, where it
hit the glass, slid around, right
to an open Rocket who then got the
two on one.
KIM raises her hand.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Yes Kim?
KIM
Wasn’t it a good idea to try and
shoot to score?
RUDY Sighs.
RUDY
What are you, retarded? Moving
right along. Erin, you are the
second worst person in the world.
So, now on to the two on one.
(MORE)
2.
RUDY (CONT'D)
So, we have two Rockets, ones a
passer and the other is a shooter.
So, what’s going to happen?
CRYSTAL raises her hand.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Yes Crystal?
CRYSTAL
The passer is going to pass to the
shooter and then she’s going to
shoot.
RUDY
Very good Crystal. You’re as smart
as your mother is supple.
RUDY stares at her mom from across the rink.
He smiles and
waves.
She waves back.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Mmmmmm. Anyway, so we know what’s
going to happen. So, what Kim
should have done was played the
shooter and blocked the passing
lane forcing the passer to take the
shot. Right?
The girls nod.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Instead, what does she do? goes
for the turnover, the passer passes
to the shooter leaving our goalie
out to dry and giving the shooter
the easiest goal of her entire
life.
ERIN raises her hand.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Yes Erin?
ERIN
Shouldn’t the goalie have played it
better?
RUDY sighs and puts his hand on his forehead like he has a
headache.
3.
RUDY
No Erin, the goalie has to be able
to trust her defence. What the
hell is it with you two? Do you
get together and try to come up
with the dumbest fucking questions
possible? Anyway, Kim, you are the
worst person in the entire world.
Any questions? Good, today before
practice is wear your favorite
jersey day.....or some shit..... I
don’t know.... They’re doing a
fashion show or something gay like
that. So.... Uhhh, yeah.
CUT TO:
LATER
The little girls all walk around the area. RUDY leans
against a wall starring the milf he was looking at earlier.
RUDY
God damn, I would fuck her cross
eyed.
RUDY glances to the right and sees one of his players wearing
a Ducks jersey. The back says “PERRY” on it.
RUDY calmly walks over to her.
RUDY (CONT’D)
Erin....
What the fuck is that?
ERIN
What’s what?
RUDY
That jersey. What the hell are you
trying to do to me?
ERIN
Nothing, he’s my favorite player.
RUDY
You’re an embarrassment to this
team. Look at Crystal over there.
Kings jersey, Kopitar on the back.
ERIN
My Dad says Corey Perry is better
then Anze Kopitar.
4.
RUDY
Well, hey let me ask you something.
Is your Dad retarded?
ERIN
....No.
RUDY
How the hell do you even compare
the two? Corey Perry runs the
goalie like a little bitch. And
that “Opps I forgot how to stop”
look on his face just makes people
want to punch him even more. Plus
he had, 111 penalty minutes and 76
points. Compared to Kopitars 81
points and he only had 16 penalty
minutes. Are you fucking kidding
me?
ERIN
...So. Anze Kopitar looks like a
raccoon.
RUDY
Yeah, well, where were the Ducks
this playoff season? That’s right,
playing golf, cause Corey fucking
Perry sucks, so you can just gobble
a dick!
CUT TO:
INT. MEG’S ROOM - DAY
 

This FanPost was posted by a fan, and it probably sucks and is dumb.

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