Who Cares About the World Championships?
by RudyKelly on May 7, 2010 11:16 AM PDT
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PrintAnyone? ...Hello?
Yes, no one's favorite hockey tournament starts tonight. The only people who care about the World Championships are Europeans; that makes me wary of it, just like I'm wary of H&M*, Volkwagens and persecuting Jews. It's a pretty fucking stupid tournament, if you think about it: the greatest tournament in the world is going on... and then this other one, with people who got eliminated from the cool tournament. It's like watching dudes jerk off after the struck out at the bar, except I wouldn't watch the World Championships.
*As a young professional I go to H&M because fuck, I'm not paying $40 for a Goddamn shirt. It's fine, except for their pants. I don't understand, I'm a pretty svelte lad but when I put on their pants I feel like I'm in the middle of transforming into the Incredible Hulk. Goddamn Swedes and their tiny little legs. I think I first realized I was turning old when I said, "Fuck nope," to the skinny jeans trend. Yep, I won't be trendy again until zubaz pants come back in style. *pulls pants out, snaps them back into place
Anyway, the Kings have a few dudes taking part in this ridiculous exercise:
-Ryan Smyth is playing for Canada as their captain. WHO THE FUCK CARES.
-Jack Johnson is playing for Team USA as their captain... wait, what? Who the hell is going to listen to Jack Johnson? "Alright boys, what we need to do is pretend to be badasses and then fail to hit anyone because we're too stupid to predict where they're going to go. Then we need to show our front 2 teeth at all times."
-Michal Handzus is playing for Team Slovakia. I won't say who the fuck cares about Zeus. I care, in that I hope he doesn't get hurt.
-Alex Frolov is playing for Team Russia. This might be one of the last times I get to cheer for Fro, so I guess I'm going with Russia.
The tournament is taking place in Germany and you can catch the opening ceremonies here. Some Ducks are probably playing in the tournament too but I don't care enough to look them up. Fuck Corey Perry, just to be on the safe side.
Is it October yet?
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I do… but judged by how the season has gone thisfar they will probably go to south
Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.
Skinny jeans, neon colors, and ray bans can all suck my dick.
by Nut on May 7, 2010 11:20 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
It’s like those who were too young to live through the ‘80s are committing all the same mistakes. Those who don’t learn from the past are doomed to repeat it.
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
Truthfully, I haven’t even paid attention to who’s going for the Ducks outside of Corey Perry, but I did hear that he’s going for the rare 5-tournament sweep.
He’s already won the Memorial Cup, World Juniors gold, the Stanley Cup, and Olympic gold. The only other person who’s won all five of those (with World Championship gold included) is Scott Niedermayer, of course.
So go Canada.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
OK, so I guess Ryan Carter is on Team USA, and their game against Germany is on TV right now. I can definitely watch some of this.
0-0 so far, 6 1/2 minutes left in the first.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
This broadcast is absolutely bizarre, in that I think that they are streaming the game to the USA, where it is being announced locally by
(gasp) John Ahlers (gasp) and
(double gasp) Jimmy Fox (double gasp).
Weeeiiiirrrrrd.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Universal Sports — it’s an HD channel for me, but it’s still pretty grainy.
Um, USTN channel 805 for me.
But the first period just ended. You got some search time.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Or you may just be able to watch the stream through the Universal Sports site — claims to work.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
They want me to pay a dollar. What am I, made out of money?
Too bad, I would give anything to hear Jimmy. I’d listen to him describe paint dry.
“Check itout! Paintisdrying.”
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
So you’d give anything but a
dollar?
by GOOLIAN on May 7, 2010 3:33 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Outside of Canada, Memorial Cup is not considered a serious tournament.
I don’t know what happened after this Olympics, but before the Olympics, there were only four players who’ve won all 4 major tournaments – Niediermayer, Sakic, Fetisov and Larionov.
Fear the Fin - all Evgeni, all the time.
And...
outside of Europe the World Championships are (apparently) not considered a serious tournament?
I think this statement is idiotic for a couple of reasons: 1) The CHL is the world’s top junior league (it’s better than the NCAA and USHL by far), 2) There are players from virtually every hockey playing country on the planet playing in the CHL – thus meaning OTHER COUNTRIES VALUE THE CHL – thus meaning the Memorial Cup is considered a serious tournament by them.
Anyway… I’m going to have to say that tournaments are only important to those that take an interest in the league. I tend to take an interest in most leagues, so I think they’re all equally valuable if only in terms of the level of competition.
"Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm."
- Sir Winston Churchill
I'm pretty sure he's talking about the Leafs.
Uh-oh. 1-0 Germans.
Michael Wolf eats up Scott Clemmenson.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Jimmy claims the problems are that the US isn’t shooting enough and that they are getting outhit 7-6.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Ryan Carter, True American Hero!!! For some reason he’s sporting one black eye (I swear, I fell).
1-1 with some 12 minutes to go.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Oh, some dude name Christian Hanson got credit, but Carter was totally Perrying the goalie.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I thought you meant it was an own goal by a German player before I realized Christian Hanson is American. Who the fuck is Christian Hanson?
The West Coast is the Best Coast.
I’m pretty sure that Christian Hanson plays for the Maple Leafs and is a desendant of the Hanson Brothers of “Slap Shot” fame…
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on May 7, 2010 1:18 PM PDT up reply actions
Yep. His dad was a Hanson brother in Slap Shot.
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on May 7, 2010 1:20 PM PDT up reply actions
And first minute, Germans win.
Well, let’s see what the international kicking rules are.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Zubaz pants have nothing on Parachute Pants.
Cheers, Complaints, homerism and bashing of mediocre pop musicians in 140 Characters
"DO NOT get stuck behind Kyle Wellwood in the buffet line. This isn't really etiquette, but it will prevent you from starving to death"- Down Goes Brown on Etiquette for Jason Spezza's wedding
by Kevin Sellathamby on May 7, 2010 1:32 PM PDT reply actions
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