More... Patrick Marleau Facts!!!
The first edition can be found here. Thanks again to Meg and Nut for all the ones that don't make you laugh. And now, more... Patrick Marleau Facts!!!
Niclas Wallin made a nice hip check in his first game with the Sharks. Patrick Marleau remarked, "Looks like that guy got walled in!" He got a moderate laugh. Marleau proceeded to make that same comment every time Wallin made contact with an opposing player until Dan Boyle finally told him to shut the fuck up.
Growing up Patrick Marleau always wished he had been born on Leap Year Day, February 29th, so there would be something interesting about him.
Patrick Marleau started the skinny jean trend in the Bay Area.
The most important political issue for Patrick Marleau is the legalization of ferrets in California.
Players have gotten nervous in the Sharks locker room since Marleau began his habit of staring at a nude player, holding up his thumb to his face while closing one eye, then writing into a tiny notebook he carries on his person.
Patrick Marleau's favorite drink is RC Cola.
Patrick Marleau loves fantasy hockey. This year he drafted himself, but eventually traded himself away for Mike Smith because he needed a goalie.
Patrick Marleau used a wallet chain until 2006.
Patrick Marleau has been in 6 fights in his career. Each time, it was because an opposing player spoke ill of the TV show Family Matters.
The person who first called Joe Pavelski "The Big Pavelski?" Patrick Marleau.
When he was in high school Patrick Marleau was accidentally invited to a party. He was offered some marijuana but threw up before even trying it.
Patrick Marleau never bowls without the bumpers, because gutter balls make him cry.
Patrick Marleau sent an invitation to Joe Thornton, inviting him to a team camping trip. When Thornton showed up at the campsite he found that he and Marleau were the only players who showed. Marleau insisted he invited everyone but no player Thornton talked to had heard of such a trip.
Patrick Marleau considers himself a wine aficionado because he can name every varietal of Franzia.
Patrick Marleau is excited for the off-season because he'll have more time to spend with his laundry. His favorite part is the drying.
Patrick Marleau has an American Express card, but constantly leaves home without it.
In school Patrick Marleau always wanted to be a hall monitor, because of his deep love of sashes.
Patrick Marleau's second least favorite thing in the world is losing a hockey game. His least favorite thing is making small talk with someone he's already made small talk with because he's already asked them about their weekend.
Patrick Marleau's favorite part about going to Home Depot is the aprons.
At the end of the season, Rob Blake said goodbye to Marleau and then raised his arm. Marleau, thinking Blake was trying to hug him, reciprocated with a quick squeeze. It was only after the hug that Marleau realized Blake was only reaching for his jacket.
Patrick Marleau's favorite Disneyland ride is the train.
Patrick Marleau has pleats on his bathing suit.
Patrick Marleau was out on the town when he saw an attractive woman sitting at the bar. Marleau planned his attack: he would slide up next to the woman, rest his hand on the stool next to her and coolly say, "Looks like you could use a drink." Marleau went up to the woman and rested his weight on the stool; unfortunately it was on bearings so all he got out was "Look like y-" before his body flew forward and he slammed his head against the bar. When he came to the woman was gone.
Patrick Marleau's favorite comedian? Kenny, from The Real World/Road Rules Challenge.
Much in the tradition of the "Playoff Beard", Patrick Marleau shaves his entire genitals each playoffs.
When Doug Murray was selected to the Olympic National Team, Patrick Marleau was thrilled. He talked to Murray about how much fun it'd be to play together and theorized line combos to a silent Murray. It wasn't until Marleau got to Vancouver that he realized Doug Murray was not Canadian, but Swedish.
Marleau thinks he has a great relationship with Todd McLellan despite the fact that before each game McLellan lists the top line as "Heatley-Thornton-That Creepy Fuck."
Patrick Marleau gets nervous and looks at his feet when Victoria's Secret commercials come on. Even when he's alone.
Patrick Marleau will be swayed as a free agent by the first team that includes Duck Tales on DVD as part of his contract.
Patrick Marleau always brings up Battlestar Galactica for no reason. (Wait, that's not Marleau. Who is that...)
Patrick Marleau is the inspiration for that Staples commercial where the guy keeps yelling, "Wow! That's a low price!"
Patrick Marleau pronounces "blog" with a long "O."
1 recs |
86 comments
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Comments
Thanks again to Meg and Nut for all the ones that don’t make you laugh.
Well now I’m going to start laughing anytime somebody says the word “Nutmeg”, so I guess it’s still even.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
hehehe
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions
as a Sharks fan...
I approve of this message. Oh, and I hope you get Marleau next year. If for nothing else than to read more Rudy on Marleau.
excuse me but Marleau is going no where!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
Especially if he re-signs with the Sharks. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jun 16, 2010 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
(mental note to self, if I get down to SoCal again for a game and meet Sleek again, hurt him lots!!)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
It worries me a little
That you use BoC as the repository of your mental notes
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
i should start doing that
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions
ha! just hanging out here implies I have mental issues … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
your on fire today sleek….scooby snack for you
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions
grrrrrr!! don’t you know not to reward bad behavior? :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
My favorite is “Patrick Marleau thinks he has a great relationship with Todd McLellan…”
Think about all the amazing and new Patrick Marleau facts that will be discovered once he and Ryan Symthe are playing together for the Kings next season!!! {swoon}
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jun 16, 2010 12:26 PM PDT reply actions
LOL that was so mean
Thanks Rudy.
Patrick Marleau’s second least favorite thing in the world is losing a hockey game. His least favorite thing is making small talk with someone he’s already made small talk with because he’s already asked them about their weekend.
I can see that about him. Talking is probably not his strong point.
Much in the tradition of the “Playoff Beard”, Patrick Marleau shaves his entire genitals each playoffs.
Just disgusting. :P
Patrick Marleau always brings up Battlestar Galactica for no reason.
I can totally see Marleau as a BG fan.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
Hahaha Babylon 5 is horrible
but maybe that’s why it’s more appropriate because “gets it” in ways no one else can. Aw I feel bad now.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 16, 2010 1:23 PM PDT up reply actions
Patrick Marleau is very much hoping for contact with intelligent life elsewhere in the universe. Odds are, his hackneyed small talk might sound original and fresh to their distant ears.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
LOL!
that’s just terrible hahahhahha! You just called him an alien…oh wait.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 16, 2010 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions
Much in the tradition of the "Playoff Beard", Patrick Marleau shaves his entire genitals each playoffs.
Just disgusting. :P
what? u dont like a clean work area?..
it makes my dick look bigger its great
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions
im glad u liked the picture
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions
did u like the before one where I made them dreadlocks?…me neither
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 2:04 PM PDT up reply actions
On me but not on my man. :P
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 16, 2010 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions
well lets start taking mental notes now shall we:
mssjsclowie29 trims the hedges…no need to bring weed wacker
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions
ha ha!
I have a feeling you’re going to like those mental notes :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
what...?
I like contrast. And yea seriously no need to bring a weed wacker maybe some shears once in awhile but not something gas powered. Yikes.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 16, 2010 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions
Much in the tradition of the "Playoff Beard", Patrick Marleau shaves his entire genitals each playoffs.
Well, there was that one year that he awkwardly tried to talk his teammates into matching bowl cuts, but that didn’t catch on.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Patrick Marleau is the inspiration for that Staples commercial where the guy keeps yelling, “Wow! That’s a low price!”
I HATE that commercial.
And very funny! Poor Marleau.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
Patrick Marleau’s favorite BSG episode is Final Cut, for reasons explains at length on message boards

In Dinglebarn We Trust
is it wrong of me to want to see the version where the towel is dropped?
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
nope....
if its wrong then I don’t want to be right. So yum.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 16, 2010 2:20 PM PDT up reply actions
The most important political issue for Patrick Marleau is the legalization of ferrets in California.
This one wins.
"Shave it, and you will score." - Randy Hahn
"The last time I made a video in a hotel room…..very different than this." – Drew Remenda
Proud member of the "Lifetime Contract for Marleau" Club
by jwizzle241 on Jun 16, 2010 1:47 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Patrick Marleau always brings up Battlestar Galactica for no reason.
aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrgggg
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 1:48 PM PDT reply actions
no one can be all bad if they like Battlestar Galactica … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
no one can be all bad if they like Battlestar Galactica … :)
no they can…i wont lie im intrgued by the board game
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 2:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Patrick Marleau’s favorite comedian? Kenny, from The Real World/Road Rules Challenge.
Best.
http://www.prosportsblogging.com
by Great Ice-Pectations on Jun 16, 2010 3:15 PM PDT reply actions
Patrick Marleau’s favorite Disneyland ride is the train.
I just picture him with this big smile as the train rolls around fake tepees and pirate ships. Then gripping the railing tighter as the train goes into that tunnel where you see all the dinosaurs in the primeval world.
by seattlesharks on Jun 16, 2010 3:36 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
All the time while wearing some mouse ears which features an embroidered “Patty” on it.
and on the 93rd postseason of the National Hockey League, the Slovakian-hockeygod Zeus commanded from high atop Mount Figueroa..."RELEASE THE MEAT TRAIN!" And it was good.
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jun 16, 2010 4:30 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
agreed thats golden DodgerBlueBalls
hi gracie baby!!!
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 16, 2010 5:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Because I have too much time...

And yes I just totally photoshopped Patty with a random family. All the more awkward I say!
Here's my twitter losers
by idunno723 on Jun 16, 2010 6:19 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Patrick Marleau’s 2nd favorite “ride” is The Hall of Presidents.
by seattlesharks on Jun 16, 2010 7:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Followed by the bathrooms in Tomorrowland.
San Jose Sharks - Hey, at least we didn't finish 11th in the West!
Battle of California
He still misses Country Bear Jamboree, though he is the reason that it closed.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
I DO TOO…I MEAN WHAT THE FUCK!!!
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 17, 2010 9:41 AM PDT up reply actions
is that gone?
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
its been gone…a real low point for the park
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 17, 2010 10:17 AM PDT up reply actions
oh :(
I always liked that
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
that is just so scary on so many levels
plus I believe Mr Awkward has two boys hehehe and I don’t see Patty wearing a douche shirt.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 17, 2010 10:08 AM PDT up reply actions
I know :)
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 17, 2010 10:47 AM PDT up reply actions
bq.Patrick Marleau’s favorite drink is RC Cola.
bq. Patrick Marleau has an American Express card, but constantly leaves home without it.
bq. Patrick Marleau’s favorite Disneyland ride is the train.
You can insert any name with these………..pure gold. I will be using these, thanks.
Amo la manera una haba y el burrito del queso siente alrededor de mi pene.
It wasn’t intentional, he just hasn’t bought jeans since Jordache changed their cut.
by RudyKelly on Jun 16, 2010 7:05 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
hahahaha
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 17, 2010 6:24 AM PDT up reply actions
Hey guys, I think I found that version of soccer that we were all talking about: it’s called futsal.
4-on-4 soccer basically played on a basketball court.
Be careful what you wish for: do you see what you’ve all done? You’ve made soccer even gayer!
"The Big Pavelski" sounds like something you'd name your cock.
Hmm, it’s definitely a faster game, and does solve a lot issues people have. If only the surface they played on could somehow be frozen.
"The Big Pavelski" sounds like something you'd name your cock.
Hahah I like it and hate it at the same time…. tsk lol
by AppleSweetRose on Jun 16, 2010 9:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Seems to suck for goalies, the hard/non-slip surface limits goalie acrobatics for sure.
"The Big Pavelski" sounds like something you'd name your cock.
If only the surface they played on could somehow be frozen.
Yeah, that was a problem I saw. And they’ll probably have to wear blades on their feet to get around on the ice, so kicking’s out. Maybe give them a stick. And the ball will have to be a lot smaller, and flatter. Oh, and add a 5th guy. If they do that, I think they’ll have the perfect sport.
I was wondering how Patrick Marleau would feel if he came across this, but then realized he probably would wish he was as cool as the Patrick Marleau that is described above.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
I’m terrified he’s somehow going to see this and think we don’t like him.
by RudyKelly on Jun 17, 2010 10:22 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He’s probably smart enough to realize that this post is more of a mirror to ourselves. Then he tips the box of Franzia to pour another glass and feels better about it.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
by Niesy on Jun 17, 2010 10:27 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Marleau doesn’t like dirtying up wine glasses — he drinks out of the bag, Capri-Sun style.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
LMAO
does he also poke the straw through the bottom side of the bag?
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 17, 2010 11:05 AM PDT up reply actions
HAHAHA
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jun 17, 2010 11:55 AM PDT up reply actions
they last 4 comments where funny as shit
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 17, 2010 11:40 AM PDT reply actions
Another interesting Patrick fact:
when he signs a hockey stick the value goes down?
$5.50 for an easton ultra light 2-piece composit stick signed by Pat himself.
3 bids and it’s only at $5.50 with a day left. I can not but a stick like that without his sig for less than 20 0r 30 bucks.
Oh wow, look at this on his rookie card. The young, the dashing…FrankenElvis Patty.
Damn you, Ebay!
In Dinglebarn We Trust

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