Wiki Sharks vol. 6: Dead Horse
by Megalodon on Jun 29, 2010 11:02 AM PDT
43 comments
Before you die, you see Wiki-Sharks.
I have a feeling today is going to be a big letdown after getting to talk about Marleau last time. Let's find out.
For the Scottish footballer, see Fraser McLaren.
While I suspect this guy would be much more interesting, we'll stick with the hockeyer for now, thanks.
Frazer McLaren (born October 29, 1987 in Winnipeg, Manitoba) is a Canadian ice hockey left wing who currently plays for the San Jose Sharks of the National Hockey League.
What kind of a name is Frazer, anyways? What the hell, Winnipeg?
playing 48 of his 318 games for the Moose Jaw Warriors following a mid-season trade
Moose Jaw Warriors? That's like some Samson-style shit.
collecting 181 penalty minutes while being used as an enforcer.
Odd verb-choice here. Was he really being "used" as an enforcer, or was he "playing" as an enforcer or maybe just "collecting 181 penalty minutes as an enforcer." "Used" always brings to mind Groundskeeper Willie screaming at the top of his lungs: "YA USED ME SKINNER! YA UUUUUSSED ME!"
That's it for Frazer. Next!
Mitchell graduated from Selwyn House School and The Hotchkiss School before he attended the University of Vermont.
Jeeze, what a preppy.
Mitchell also became a favorite among the fans when he scored a memorable goal in a game against Sharks rival, the Anaheim Ducks.
Alright! Now we're talking!
The Sharks were killing a penalty, and Mitchell was able to grab the puck on a breakaway and score on Giguere while Mathieu Schneider was hooking from behind and even forced Mitchell to fall on the ice before Mitchell got up and scored the goal, then Chris Pronger tried taking him down also with a hook also but to no success.
Ow - my grammar bone! Yikes!
I'm trying not to do any editing on my way through Wiki-Sharks, but this was a serious temptation. That sentence is just...so awful. Unnecessary commas, odd formating, unclear verb objects, redudant phrases, it's a run-on, AND the whole thing is awkward and bumbling as hell (just like Rudy).
Somebody, please - if you love Torrey Mitchell, the Sharks, or the English language...fix that monstrosity of a sentence.
He ended up signing a contract worth 4.1 million over 3 years
4.1 million what?
You can quote me on this: Torrey Mitchell has a sloppy Wikipedia page.
Incidents
That is a hell of a section-headline to have on your Wikipedia page. My new dream is to one day have enough weird shit happen to me for it to be collected under the title of "Incidents."
In March 2008, Torrey Mitchell had a run in incident on the ice
He had a runincident? Oh no!
Foster slammed into the bottom of the boards which resulted in a broken femur.
That's probably bad. It certainly qualifies as an "incident."
According to San Jose head coach Ron Wilson, Mitchell was "extremely shaken up" over the incident, and called Foster while he was in the hospital to apologize
I'll bet he was just gloating.
On September 21, 2008, during an open team practice, Mitchell was tripped by Brett Westgarth while skating full speed towards the net. He slammed into the right goal post and suffered a complete non-displaced Tibia/Fibula fracture, commonly known as a Boot Top fracture. The original estimate for his return to the ice was a minimum of two months after the incident. He resumed skating with the Sharks in practice in January 2009. He resumed play with a planned three-game conditioning assignment to the American Hockey League Worcester Sharks on January 16, 2009, but he suffered another injury to the same leg during play on January 18.
Perhaps "incidents" was a bit of an understatement for the subject heading? Something like "Crazy Leg F-Ups" would have been a better fit
Mike Moore doesn't have a Wikipedia, so in his place we're going to cover...
Now THIS is a player who has his act together - he just got drafted and he already has a Wikipedia page that's more detailed than those of half the players on the Sharks. And look at his picture! He's achieved hockey success without having any visible legs! Take THAT, Jed Ortmeyer!
Charlie Coyle (born April 2, 1992)
Jesus god that's disgusting.
is an American ice hockey forward
Hey, kid - pick a position already. "Forward" is not an option.
Coyle is the cousin of two former NHL players, Tony Amonte and Bobby Sheehan[3]
Okay, that's cool. Tony Amonte rules. Good job on your Wikipedia, Charlie - you could show that sloppy bitch Torrey Mitchell a thing or two about maintaining your Internet presence.
Damn - I thought we were going to be able to cover THE MAN THE MYTH THE DEVASTATOR DOUGLAS MURRAY today but this post has already gone on for a while. Blame Torrey Mitchell and the Incidents...which is a GREAT band name, by the way. Come back again for the next exciting* episode of...WIKI-SHARKS!
* = possibly, but not likely.
0 recs |
43 comments
|
Email
Print
Comments
how dare you not reference my favorite show int eh world frasier properly..
you should have said under his photo:
“Im listening”
how dare you..you son of a bitch
the show went downhill when niles finally got daphne
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 12:16 PM PDT reply actions
Your favorite TV show is Fraiser? You could have given me a thousand guesses and I never would have gotten that.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
yea it makes no sense at all…
I think I liked the blue collar Dad chop his elistists Sherry Drinking fancy resturant eating sons down to size with common sense…kinda like watching rudy take down earl..I dunno ive watched every espisode
or maybe i just want to be white
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 1:00 PM PDT up reply actions
Rudy is not blue collar by any stretch of the imagination. It’s probably the white thing.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
i watched the golden girls also…blanche is such a whore I love it…
p.s. yea rudy is a bad example..that was the one surprise about rudy when I met him…he looked like he just got out from an executive meeting…It was the oddest thing
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions
he looked like he just got out from an executive meeting
Rudy? from BoC? are you sure??
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
“white collar” shirt and everything…it was strange…but other than that..he was what i expected looks and demeaner wise
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 1:35 PM PDT up reply actions
which proves the “never judge a book by its cover” saying huh?
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
This ties into what my roommate is always telling me: “They know you’re just some pussy, right?”
…And I’m like, “Shut up, Mom!”
by RudyKelly on Jun 29, 2010 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
So, wait a minute, Spade…Rudy is just white trash in his mindset and his eating habits? The mind boggles.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
rudy is a lot of things but not white trash
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 5:29 PM PDT up reply actions
nice hehe
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 8:13 PM PDT up reply actions
im Jamaican mon
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 5:28 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, what Meg said.
Next we’re going to find out Spade is actually in the Peace Corps or something.
http://sacrificethebody.blogspot.com/
Sacrifice the Body - Examining the NHL through statistical analysis, reasoned thought, and blind conjecture.
im a bleeding heart liberal..so not that far fetched
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 5:26 PM PDT up reply actions
first a nerd, now a bleed heart liberal – what have you done with the Spade I imaged??
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
i dont want to be …im trying to change
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 8:10 PM PDT up reply actions
Oh, don’t. The bleeding-heart liberality and the little dreadlocks around your junk are the only things about you I wouldn’t change.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
you have made my year
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 30, 2010 12:44 PM PDT up reply actions
Used" always brings to mind Groundskeeper Willie screaming at the top of his lungs: “YA USED ME SKINNER! YA UUUUUSSED ME!”
top 10 moment in cartoon history…his quilt going up exposes his lack of undergarments would be in the top 20
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jun 29, 2010 12:17 PM PDT reply actions
Unnecessary commas, odd formating, unclear verb objects, redudant phrases, it’s a run-on, AND the whole thing is awkward and bumbling as hell (just like Rudy).
(snerk)
But please consider editing the entries. The world will thank you.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
If I start editing Wikipedia, I’ll literally never do anything else. It’s not just a slippery slope, it’s a bottomless pit of grammar-correcting doom.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I considered it at one time, created an account and everything – then realized that I had a life … :)
(okay I have a life when there is no hockey)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
You guys act like one edit takes more time than two comments on this site. But fair enough. :)
Me? I find reality difficult. I’m off to add more embarrassing but true factoids willy-nilly to Doughty’s page. Gotta do something with all this Kovalchuk-induced nervous energy.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
it does … commenting takes no thought … hell you don’t even have to spell correctly (see Spade for reference) … editing, you would / should do everything correct with backup source … why do all that when there is the sci fi channel :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
Fixing all the offending grammar on Wikipedia would be a full time job.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
You could limit it to Sharks related articles.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Yeah, that’s what I meant.
You’re right about the Sci-Fi channel, Ang. They’re probably airing another classic like this:
Another Baldwin brother classic!
In Dinglebarn We Trust
by Niesy on Jun 30, 2010 7:17 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
They’d better not steal my “COKED-UP SHARKS” idea.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I think you’re pretty safe. It’s not clear why any Great White would remain for more than five minutes in the sewer-like canals of Venice, why they want to gobble up inhabitants of the city, or even why the shark on the poster is 400% larger than the stock-footage-supplied bad boys in the actual movie. So the “Megalodons enraged by cocaine” option is still available.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Okay cool. I think that my plot was actually way more believable than that.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I know! Your sharks actually have motive!
They did turn out another “prehistoric shark-monster terrorizes beachgoers” movie recently, though, so maybe you should get going on that script. In that one, a hot female scientist uses a Wikipedia-like internet resource (!) to look up the ancient creature, and then is so distraught by her findings that she feels the need to take off her shirt. I forget the title, but The Soup had a field day with it.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
hey, I’m into bad … uh … horror shows? no that’s not right. sci fi is definitely out. hey! I’m into those shows. :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
I like them, too. They’re so gloriously bad. Like the one with the yeti who chases down the poor college football team that has crashed their plane in the Himalayas (what game were they going to, again?)…and the yeti rips off a guy’s arm and then bludgeons him to death with it.
That would never have happened to a hockey player. Wimp.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
by Niesy on Jun 30, 2010 9:34 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I could make one of those movies, but giant animal, prehistoric animal, giant insects have all been done by too many others. oh yeah! can’t forget the natural disasters in places that they normally wouldn’t happen.
Everytime I’m sucked into watching another one of those shows (like every Saturday), I kick myself (as I continue watching). :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
"It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by somebody who appears to be talking to themselves." -- Bob Newhart
See, the problem is that Meg had a great idea but it’s been done terribly so many times no one will give it a chance. This is just like when we had the idea to make a zombie set during the Revolutionary War back in 2004. It had Patrick Henry saying, “Give me liberty or give me death!” followed by him getting ripped apart by zombies. It was awesome. Alas…
My favorite Samson Translation
“And Samson said, With a red ass’s mouth-bone I have made them red with blood, with a red ass’s mouth-bone I have sent destruction on a thousand men.”
Excellent first-ever comment.
I just like the idea of the Bible talking about ass bones.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Pretty much the entire book of Judges is hilarious. All they do is kill thousands of people for completely random shit, like not being Jewish.
It’s a fun read.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
The Wonderful World of Off-Season BoC: Book of Judges, Ass-Bones, the Baldwin Brothers, Genocide, Bleeding Heart Liberals, Kelsey Grammer, Wiki-Grammar Policing and Coked Up Sharks. I <3 this place.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Jun 30, 2010 8:44 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Comments For This Post Are Closed
Secondary Sidebar
User Tools
FanPosts
Community blog posts and discussion.
Recent FanPosts
FanShots
Quick hits of video, photos, quotes, chats, links and lists that you find around the web.
Recent FanShots
Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
82 | 51 | 20 | 11 | 113 |
|
Phoenix
|
82 | 50 | 25 | 7 | 107 |
|
Los Angeles
|
82 | 46 | 27 | 9 | 101 |
|
Anaheim
|
82 | 39 | 32 | 11 | 89 |
|
Dallas
|
82 | 37 | 31 | 14 | 88 |
(updated 4.12.2010 at 6:21 AM PDT)
4 years old and counting!
SBNation.com Recent Stories
In Association With
Latest Puck Daddy - NHL from Yahoo! Sports
- In which former NHL coach Ken Hitchcock foils a shoplifter
- Montreal's Price talks new 2-year contract, expectations post-Halak
- Donald Fehr aware of Kovalchuk drama, mum on everything else
- Puck Headlines: Savard's agent rants on Bettman; Halak in Montreal
- Boudreau, Crawford placed on the coaching hot seat
Certain photos copyright © 2010 by Associated Press or Getty Images. Any commercial use or distribution without the express written consent of Associated Press and Getty Images is strictly prohibited.
