pick out the hockey related headline!

 how the fuck that guy get them to do that all at the same time...?

 Im bored..waiting for 6:00 for the Lakers to probally lose game 1...glad to see philly make it a series..I think they still got a shot as all the games have been close..just need a little luck and some pronger magic (hartnell is one ugly mother fucker) anyways..I scrolled around and saw some spade-like headlines..and thought Id share them with you...since this is a hockey blog I added a boring hokcey related one...one of the headlines isnt true..Ill let you be the judge of which one isnt enjoy...google the headlines..I hate posting links..I added my own spade commentary to the links yay!!

Man accidentally shoots self in testicles

3 testicles?..

 this one got me thinking...what do you do without testicles?..it just kills my favorite activity tea-bagging..and I think u cant masturbate without sperm?...I guess ill ask nick lidstrom(hockey reference DING!!!) or justin bieber...you probally guessed it..it was because of a gun that this happened...luckily Im a liberal tree-hugger so I wont have to worry about doing somthing this stupid

Man Kills Cat Over Video Game

would you kill me?

see note above...my heart bleeds over this..but in my mind I might want to do this..if a cute little kitten fucked up a close online game of nhl 09 (hows my nhl 11 funding going? hockey reference DING!)...so..Id probally just give the kitty a real mean stare...grrrrrr

Kings blogger that has fascination with dogs goes down in the guiness book of world records of having the biggest dick

yea that long

who would have thought huh...crazy they would post such a story..but breaking records i guess is news

Florida prisoner busted selling drugs stashed in her vagina

no pic for this one...but i wish i could post one

 I got really excited about this story till I saw who it was...who was doing the stashing....then my member turned into cooked spagetthi..gimmie some weed from the weeds...errr..ok not a funny joke

Michael Bublé, a Canadian, requires that concert promoters provide him with one "local team hockey puck"

no pic for this one either...I bet he looks like a douche

 my hockey related headline...ugg.boring...what does an american artist ask for a football? a hooker?...stupid name Bublé..your so not american you bitch

NJ teen admits defecating in classmate's soda

drink up johnny!!!

when I read this my first thought was rudy..then I realized hes not a teen and would never be caught dead in new jersey..heres a little exercpt from the story..oh and the devils play in new jersy DING!!

A judge ordered the boy to serve probation, serve 200 hours of community service, write a letter to the victim to apologize — and to write a 1,000-word report on why it's unhealthy to ingest fecal matter.

do u really need 1,000 words?

Bad Sex Prompts Scissors Attack

I would want to be cut by the purple ones!

I thought rudy again..but then thought...shit Im surprised this didnt happen to me a couple times..I mean Ive had my superman days..and then Ive had my "Prompts Scissors Attack" days...you just never know when and why...damn sucks being a guy somtimes

GO DUCKS!!...GO LAKERS..FUCK BOSTON...