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Bleacher Report Sucks

My co-worker knows I like hockey and so he always e-mails me anything he accidentally reads about it, especially if it's about the Sharks. That's nice enough, I guess, if a little annoying. The problem, though, is that he loves Bleacher Report. Bleacher Report represents everything that is wrong with the democratization of content production on the Internet, and it sucks major balls. Bleacher Report is a retarded shadow of Sports Blog Nation, and seems to have even looser rules and even lower standards, which is truly breathtaking.

Most people don't know anything about anything, and this is doubly true when it comes to sports. If you've read a few of my posts, you're aware that I clearly don't know shit, but sometimes I don't know it in a funny way, so some people like to read what I write. Earl doesn't know stuff while he draws cartoons, and Rudy knows a little bit but is constantly distracted by naked dogs. These skills are what qualify us to write about hockey on the Internet.

The articles on Bleacher Report seem to mostly consist of people not knowing things in the worst possible way: smugly. It's nothing but rampant speculation and fantasy with little basis in reality and it bugs the hell out of me*. The veneer of professionalism provided by the trappings of Bleacher Report tricks countless foolish people (like my co-worker) into thinking the articles mean anything or aren't just the crazy mutterings of friendless shut-ins.

Star-divide

The latest story I had cluttering up my inbox was "NHL Trade Rumors: 10 Potential Mutually Beneficial Trades." It's absolute lunacy. Here is the entirety of what it says about the Sharks and Tim Thomas:

If the San Jose Sharks plan to stick with Antero Niittymaki as their starter, they could likely find themselves in hot water. Not to take anything away from Niittymaki, but he may need some help in net.

The best goalie on the market right now would have to be Tim Thomas. The former Vezina winner would be a perfect fit for San Jose, as he has shown time and time again that he is one good goalie.

A likely return would be Thomas Greiss and Niclas Wallin.

This way Boston frees up some space, and it allows Tuukka Rask to take the starting reigns. For San Jose, it gets a qualified starter, and some stability in net.

This doesn't make any sense. Is this even a "trade rumor," like it says in the title, or is the writer just identifying trades he thinks would help both teams? I'm so confused.

Because this article was written, I had to spend time explaining to my co-worker why Tim Thomas to the Sharks won't happen. Now you can enjoy it too:

First, Doug Wilson has made it clear that the Sharks like Niittymaki and the words they used about him made it sound like they saw him as a starter, rather than an expensive backup.

Second, the entire point of getting rid of Nabokov in the first place was to free-up salary, and if the trade this guy suggests goes through the Sharks would then be right back in the same salary-cap problem they were in before, only now they would be paying their backup even more than they had been before. That's madness.

Third, everyone knows we're paying Wallin too much and the Bruins definitely wouldn't want him.

Fourth, Wallin, as underwhelming as he is, is one of our starting defensemen, and it wouldn't make much sense to move him unless it was in a salary dump in order to sign a better defenseman, which this potential trade would make almost impossible.

In retrospect, I may be more annoyed at my co-worker for taking stuff like this seriously than at Bleacher Report or this writer. I can't really blame him for making up trades that will never happen; I know how hard it can be to come up with topics for posts in the Summer - just look at Wiki-Sharks, for Christ's sake. Perhaps my ire should be directed more at those readers who take a random fan musings as something meaningful just because it's presented in an organized format on an authoritative-looking website.

I hope we've all learned a valuable lesson about not believing everything you read.

 

Other stupid things on Bleacher Report about the Sharks include:

-A story titled "Mike Modano: Why The San Jose Sharks Should Kick The Tires On The Former Star"

-This awful article about the Sharks all-time best players, which includes such gems as Kyle McLaren on the second defensive pair and Jeff Friesen as a second-line winger. What the fuck.

-An article that lists Evgeni Nabokov as the best player in Sharks history. I like Nabokov a lot, but the answer here is clearly Joe Thornton.

These articles should make you happy you're a BoC reader and have access to the hard-hitting, well-researched, always-relevant stories we produce.

 

* = I am aware that attacking a hockey website for uninformed speculation and making stuff up is the height of hypocrisy. I don't care - Bleacher Report still stinks.



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Comments

Display:

My co-worker knows I like hockey and so he always e-mails me anything he accidentally reads about it, especially if it’s about the Sharks

i get that too from a bud…i see it as more hes trying to conversate with me on somthing i like..its more a friendly gesture…but it is annoying….

bud: hey did you hear they signed that koivu guy?
spade: o yea kick ass
spade mummering to self: that fuckin happened 3 weeks ago..as a die-hard ducks fan of fucking course I heard about that
bud: you say somthing? what are u whispering?
spade: naw im trying to imitate a what it would sound like if a mililion beetles were in a room…pretty good eh?

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:14 PM PDT reply actions  

hes trying to conversate with me

Coversating is always a challenge with you, spade.

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 14, 2010 2:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

Naw its only troubling when spade conversates back…

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:30 PM PDT up reply actions  

i stimulate your brain make it work..you should be thanking me

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

this begs the question – do you stimulate anything else? :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin

by Angy on Jul 14, 2010 2:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

I fear his response to this..

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

his reply could possible mark this site forever in the NSFW category … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin

by Angy on Jul 14, 2010 2:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Suprising it isn’t already. I mean with him and Rudy posting and commenting here…

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

i think it was to easy of tee-up job..my mind went blank doooh

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:58 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

and who the fuck made up the rumor of the ducks in the modano hunt…i would link up the salei-modano from youtube if I could.

(hint someone do that for me)

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:16 PM PDT reply actions  

this?

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 14, 2010 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

Thats what they get for cheating…

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

i assume its the right one…email that link to whomever is saying modano would come to anahiem

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

Well its the only thing that comes up when you put “modano salei” into the search bar…. But I think its just the brawl after the hit and not the hit itself….

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

it shows the hit in the beginning too. or some hit…

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 14, 2010 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah took me a while but thats not Modano, The hit was on 25 Modano’s been 9 since the stars were in Minnesota.

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 2:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

he has…HAS…to have some resentment right towards the ducks?…

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah..You don’t almost die than forget about it. I don’t want to know what the penalties would be for that hit in todays NHL.

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 3:10 PM PDT up reply actions  

the language is finnish btw

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:20 AM PDT up reply actions  

Hooray!

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 6:23 AM PDT up reply actions  

…sorry.

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 15, 2010 7:32 AM PDT up reply actions  

why? it probably does sound weird if you don’t know the language… :)

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 7:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

ooops…

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

Bleacher Report is indeed dumb.

All of the Sharks articles usually relate to how we have no heart and no grit as well as Jarome Iginla being the answer to all of our problems.

Don't let the name deceive you, I'm a fan of not only the Sharks, but the Lakers, 49ers, Giants, Angels, (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans.

by SharksFanEst.1994 on Jul 14, 2010 2:16 PM PDT reply actions  

Bleacher Report, HF Boards…in all this waiting around for Kovalchuk, I admit I turn to them as sources of amusement. Well, those sites, and Joffrey Lupul’s Twitter. Consider the following:

What’s all the love about Wayne Simmonds? …How is Kaberle not enough to get an energy player and why is Burke using our best tradeable asset to get an energy player?
The Eklund rumour was: Kaberle to LA for Simmonds + Prospect [Which if rumour is true im pretty sure will be Brayden Schenn seeing as how Burke has alway’s wanted him.]

If it’s true i dont like this deal. we need a proven goal scorer.
I love it, thx @sn00ki.. Well, that settles it. I’m off to the tanning booth. RT @sn00ki Hockey players are pretty hot huh? :)
Ok, ok..Has anyone noticed the “Magic spray” they spray on the injured soccer players when they are writhing in pain?I need a bottle of this

In the age of the Internets, voices of reason struggle in vain. Dark times indeed.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 2:21 PM PDT reply actions  

would it be a fair deal with kabby for joe [Thornton] striagt up

the leafs need a top line player

the sharks need a puck movieing d man

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jul 14, 2010 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

the sharks need a puck movieing d man

I guess that Boyle guy just ain’t cutting it anymore, huh?

Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com

by Mike Chen on Jul 14, 2010 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

maybe they want one that scores goals in his own net!!!

ok that was amatuerish…but im laughing

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

I assume Bryan McCabe isn’t being pursued by the sharks as well then.

In Lou We Trust: Now More productive than a New Jersey Devils Powerplay
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly

by Kevin Sellathamby on Jul 15, 2010 4:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

Hey, hey, you can’t get anyone back without giving up anything. SUPERSTAR for SUPERSTAR.

Why this hasn’t happened already is beyond me. You’re slacking, Burkie!

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 5:20 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh, I can’t help myself. Here goes Philly:

A deal for Carter would be like

Simmonds + Bernier + Teubert/Hickey + 1st

Trust me, you wouldn’t like a deal for Carter.

You’re goddamn right I wouldn’t.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 6:49 PM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

Lots of Glen Sathers/Daryl Sutters on Bleacher Report, apparently.

by Nut on Jul 15, 2010 8:06 AM PDT up reply actions  

I’m pretty sure Glennie hangs out at HF all the time, hoping his next great idea will pop up each time he hits “Refresh.”

That’s why the posters need to keep working on these things, because they’re making progress.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 11:46 AM PDT up reply actions  

You should have seen some of the expectations in return for Gagne.

Man-crushin' on Boucher since 1999
Broad Street Hockey - Makin' it look mean since 1967.

by Geoff Detweiler on Jul 15, 2010 2:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

It’s like they’re genuinely surprised when they start to pick fights with each other. I wonder if each new thread is an act of faith.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 3:23 PM PDT up reply actions  

I think the problem is that your co-worker is retarded. Maybe you should direct your rage towards him.

-An article that lists Evgeni Nabokov as the best player in Sharks history.

I agree with this because it’d be hilarious if true.

Wheeee!

An “H?”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jul 14, 2010 2:45 PM PDT reply actions  

Maybe they’re Walter Matthau

by Nut on Jul 14, 2010 2:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/whee

Yes.

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 14, 2010 2:49 PM PDT up reply actions  

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/wee

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 14, 2010 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

buuuurrrrn

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 2:50 PM PDT up reply actions  

They just got served.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 2:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

You probably spell it, “Yea!” too.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jul 14, 2010 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

Nay, verily.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions  

I forgot the link.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 14, 2010 3:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

earl on hiatus again?…he might be too into that game..i invision him out in oragne county hog-tieing up people and trying to cheat at poker

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 3:03 PM PDT reply actions  

Dunno how he screws up cheating at poker though…Its the same as breaking horses….

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 3:05 PM PDT up reply actions  

really? havent tried it..earl scared me

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 14, 2010 3:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

I kill things for money.

People, bald eagles, deer, cows. Anything alive actually.

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 14, 2010 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, and again I’m even distracted from doing main story missions. Lately I just go out to a field and collect stupid red ferns or go treasure hunting. And it’s weird on poker cheating — I’ve only tried that twice before realizing that I win plenty of poker money without cheating. But I dunno — I’ve never failed at breaking a horse. Go figure.

But I’ll be back on the blog game soon, I reckon. For one, I’m pretty resolved to go buy myself a new laptop today, which should bring the scanner back online, and will generally make all things 25% easier. And also, it’s possible that something happens in this graveyard we call the offseason.

However, I should warn — Costco doesn’t open until 11 am, so there’s still plenty of time to lose motivation. :)

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 6:33 AM PDT up reply actions  

I reckon

Jesus Christ, you HAVE been playing that game a lot lately.

I'm against sigs......Fuck.

by JohnQPhats on Jul 15, 2010 7:37 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yer darn bettin’ I am!

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 8:15 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

were overdue for a refreshing cartoon….how could there not be one on the kovi saga?

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 7:48 AM PDT up reply actions   1 recs

I couldn’t stop collecting plants, but I hated it the whole time. Especially when you’d get 5 Violet Snowdrops and then get mauled by a bear before you could save.

by Nut on Jul 15, 2010 8:10 AM PDT up reply actions  

yea im like that with plants also…if you remember from the first leprechaun movie (u all watched it dont lie)..as the scary little leprechaun would chase the fearful teenagers….they would throw shows at his feet…and he could not help himself but to stop, pick them up and shine them….you could tell he was frustrated..fighting his inner demons ..but the inner demons would always win and he would shine however many shoes they threw at his feet…thats how i am with those flowers…Im rushing to some point..or helping some heroine….but damn it..if if that little flower symbol appears…i have to stop and pic it….its torture

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:14 AM PDT up reply actions  

hey I saw all of those movies … even the one with him up in space … got that was awful ! and nevermind that I’ve seen it more than once.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin

by Angy on Jul 15, 2010 8:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

he went to space too? and I thought him going to the hood was over the top..how in the fuck did that make it past one movie…who funds this shit

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

your not lying

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

I wouldn’t lie. It was really really really bad. I still can’t believe I’ve seen it.

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin

by Angy on Jul 15, 2010 8:50 AM PDT up reply actions  

how in the fuck he even get out there?…shit we need to send him to mars then and that moon near jupiter…check for water etc.

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

they were all really really bad. Most movies in the genre are…

I rec’d that shit.

by Steven Hida on Jul 15, 2010 8:53 AM PDT up reply actions  

The Leprechaun is on a desolate planet attempting to court a narcissistic princess named Zarina, whom he has kidnapped in a plot to marry her, then murder her father in order to become king of her home planet, Dominia. A group of space marines attack and the Leprechaun kills one of the marines, Lucky, with a lightsaber. When another marine, Kowalski, throws a grenade and it lands near Zarina, the Leprechaun jumps in the way, and, though Zarina is saved, the explosion of the bomb kills the Leprechaun and causes Zarina to lose a hand. While the rest of the crew attend to Zarina, Kowalski urinates on the Leprechaun’s dismembered leg.

tell me this isnt just some wiki asshole fuckin with me or is this what happens int he movie…urinating on a leg?…..tell me this happened..i might have to go watch

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:55 AM PDT up reply actions  

oh just go watch it … :)

Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin

by Angy on Jul 15, 2010 9:03 AM PDT up reply actions  

tell me this isnt just some wiki asshole fuckin with me or is this what happens int he movie…urinating on a leg?…..tell me this happened..i might have to go watch

Yeah, you really need to see it to believe it. It’s one of those things that’s so bad it comes back around and becomes awesome somehow.

I'm against sigs......Fuck.

by JohnQPhats on Jul 15, 2010 11:21 AM PDT up reply actions  

speaking of peeing and crappy horror films there was this movie called rawhead rex


this is rudy without his makeup

this monster end up peeing on some priest..its pretty uncomfortable to watch…fear not holy holies…the beast does get smyte-ed at the end..

hockey reference:
it took place in ireland i think..so everyone talka likes bob murray

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 12:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

I’m already pissed off. I collected 13 red ferns for the flower bouquet guy and the airplane glider guy, only to find out that my next Survivalist challenge is to go get 6 more.

Dammit.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 8:14 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Collecting…plants? Flower bouquets?!?

Damn, that West was wild!

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 8:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

Yeah, I think they do that just to fuck with you. Use your Survivalist map, its a time saver

by Nut on Jul 15, 2010 8:24 AM PDT up reply actions  

lol

I haven’t tried this with plants yet but you can skin an animal a lot faster if you’re still mounted on your horse. It’s also a lot safer. =)

Where do you find bears?

by ScottyKnows on Jul 15, 2010 11:52 AM PDT up reply actions  

I haven’t tried this with plants yet but you can skin an animal a lot faster if you’re still mounted on your horse

u can?

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 12:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

I didn’t know this was possible

by Nut on Jul 15, 2010 1:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don’t know if it is — I just rode my horse over a carcass and all the “skin” button did was let me dismount.

But sometimes you can be standing awkwardly to the carcass and it sometimes skips the animation — once in a while.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 1:24 PM PDT up reply actions  

BTW. that was my first comment on my new laptop — still have to do a lot of setting up and haven’t hooked it up to the scanner yet, but things are underway, sort of.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 1:25 PM PDT up reply actions  

cartoon to come soon? im getting wood

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:41 PM PDT up reply actions  

We’ll see — I just broke into Canada in the game (I think, or whatever) — Mexican storyline seems over, time to kill some beavers.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 1:52 PM PDT up reply actions  

never kill beavers…they are to be carressed and nutured…there flowers..sleek…pretty flowers

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

Tell that to the guy who’s asking me for five carcasses. )

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 1:57 PM PDT up reply actions  

wait your talking about dead red?…o right …um..yea those pesky beavers always building dams and shit

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 2:11 PM PDT up reply actions  

He’s not a required mission, but you’ll see a (?) show up on your map. The dude doesn’t hate beavers, but for some reason he needs five dead ones to build himself a plane or something.

Don’t ask me, I’m just a dumb errand-boy cowboy.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 2:35 PM PDT up reply actions  

yea your on everybodys bitch on that game..thats why it feels good to go on killing sprees from time to time…

p.s.
apprently if u accept a duel and run up and pistol whip a guy…thats cause for the whole town trying to shoot and kill you….damn..i couldnt belive it

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 2:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

How do you pistol whip? I totally would start a good man vs town rampage like this.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 2:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

i just got close the guy (with my pistol of course) and pressed “somthing” i wanna say X bu im not sure it was on accident…i was like whoa i pistol whipped him cool…then all the sudden the town thought i should die a vilent death…apprently pistol whipping is quite a serious crime back in those days

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

i might have just shot him at close range and didnt know it…i dunno try it out let me know what happens

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 3:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

duels

if you wan’t max honor points and it doesn’t seem like you guys care about that since you’re more interested in killing sprees. During a duel…if you disarm and hat shoot the guy…you get 150 honor pts. In Dead Eye mode of course… to make it easier..

by ScottyKnows on Jul 15, 2010 3:08 PM PDT up reply actions  

i figured that..im still learning the duel though…i use the dead eye but the x’s multiply like wildfire so i end up shooting him like 6 times…i figured the hand thing..but didnt think about the hat thanx

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 3:16 PM PDT up reply actions  

Oh, I’m very honorable in my saved game — like a fucking saint. :)

Just once in a while I’ll go crazy and kill the town, then once my bloodlust is satisfied I’ll warp backwards to better decision-making times.

And I’m to a point where I do need to de-hat two gentlemen, too, but I’ll do that more conventionally.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 3:21 PM PDT up reply actions  

Shoot, my first duel in the north I shot the gun out of the guy’s hand, but no hat follow-up. Only +100 honor there.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 4:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

yea i notice this too..i like the fact its not all the time…always fun to hear the slicing motion..and his consquent comment

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:39 PM PDT up reply actions  

yah...

I’m not sure if my game is just glitched. =/ Either way, I’m not going online incase the update screws things up before I’m done with the campgain.

You can skip the animation by riding right over the animal. Once you dismount, you’ll be next to your horse and the animal to be skinned. This is where the game gets confused and skips the animation.

by ScottyKnows on Jul 15, 2010 2:19 PM PDT up reply actions  

This is my favorite Bleacher Report article. The guy claimed to have insider info and David Pollak even said the article was false. I think the best part was how Rob Blake commented on the BR article though…

Proud member of the "Bring back Semenov" Club !!

by idunno723 on Jul 14, 2010 3:25 PM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Haha wow nice. That’s ridiculous.

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 14, 2010 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

Bleacher Report makes me sad.

http://www.prosportsblogging.com

by Great Ice-Pectations on Jul 14, 2010 5:49 PM PDT reply actions  

I read an article a couple months ago about how the Sharks should get rid of Tod McLellan.

"Look at me. Yes, you heard me. Look at me. Don't stop."
-Dan Boyle in front of a mirror.

by Dude-Brah-Man on Jul 14, 2010 6:24 PM PDT reply actions  

Maybe they can trade him for Tim Thomas. Or they can make Mike Modano the coach!

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 14, 2010 6:47 PM PDT up reply actions  

Ha!

Had an almost identical post a few weeks ago:

http://www.pensionplanpuppets.com/2010/6/26/1538845/bleacher-report-is-stupid

Tick Tock, Tomas. Tick Tock.
A drinking team with a hockey problem.

by nhlcheapshot on Jul 15, 2010 3:36 AM PDT reply actions  

That’s awesome. Great minds, man.

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 15, 2010 7:18 AM PDT up reply actions  

Nice recovery.

That asshole that does the news thinks he's smarter than me.

by brokenyard on Jul 15, 2010 10:43 AM PDT up reply actions  

Not worth a post, but if there are any Brian Salcido Duck fans out there:

According to article in HC-Sparta website, Brian Salcido has signed with the Czech club for the next season .

Overseas seasoning! Whatever.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 6:47 AM PDT reply actions  

I used him on my Nhl 09 game to replace whitney…he was uneventful

thats too bad i was rooting for that guy…cuz him being from socal..

season away..get better sir!!

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 7:47 AM PDT up reply actions  

MY NHL 09 game also called him “sal-chido” it was hilarious

im not sure where they picked up the “h” from

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 8:36 AM PDT up reply actions  

Really not a bad player at the AHL level. I think the problem with him is that the Ducks definitely had a PR interest in him, and now that he’s played his game as the first California born and trained player to suit up for the Ducks, they’re kind of done with him and they stopped puffing him. That concussion last year was tough, and while I think the Ducks are too deep at defense to put more development time into him, he could probably find a place where he could be an emergency call up defenseman if he comes back..

by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Jul 15, 2010 4:18 PM PDT up reply actions  

I’m not sure how likely this is to happen but there has been more or less legit writings about Ducks wanting to sign norwegian dude called Patrick Thoresen. He played last season in KHL with Salavat Yulaev Ufa and scored nice points while playing with Radu (57 points in 56 games)

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:26 PM PDT reply actions  

i don’t even know if this has been brought up here already and since the lappy i’m using is being relatively useless i can’t really check it…

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

I don’t think anyone’s heard of it yet…

If he does sign, Earl, I want to call him Norwegian Wood.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:28 PM PDT up reply actions  

swedish/norwegian “news” sources win!

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

why didnt we get vikingstad

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

I heard of it, but it’d be depth if anything. Teemu > Thor (obvious nickname).

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 1:53 PM PDT up reply actions  

Obvious. Hmph.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

the kid is good though. not teemu good but good :) well, at least in khl

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:55 PM PDT up reply actions  

not teemu good but good :)

Norwegians can’t help it.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

cant belilve there will be a thor movie…how do they attempt to make it somewhat believable

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

though, flyers apparently have his rights currently but are not interested in signing him

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:31 PM PDT up reply actions  

BTW, how do you feel about Demitra moving to the KHL?

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:33 PM PDT up reply actions  

meh

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:40 PM PDT up reply actions  

I asked her.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

:-p

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:45 PM PDT up reply actions  

All right, how can I make you feel special? Hmm wait don’t answer that

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions  

u can dress up like my mom..she always made me feel special

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 1:58 PM PDT up reply actions  

teddies!

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 2:02 PM PDT up reply actions  

id be the bear on the left…and i would slowly shove her hand in a downward trajectory…almost like saying "im gonna do this…just let it happen…go with the flow

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 2:07 PM PDT up reply actions  

and i was trying to be nice…

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 2:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

it did warm my heart…for what its worth…then the penis took over the heart (like it usually does) and ….well directed directed my brain to make a comment

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 2:14 PM PDT up reply actions  

Your penis was rubbing off on your brain. Really, I’m surprised you didn’t use that verb.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 2:17 PM PDT up reply actions  

it’s a team i don’t really care about so as long as he doesn’t screw Kazan, i really don’t have an opinion. but hopefully he can lift the level there bit higher. i might be quite alone with this but more attractive khl would be pretty nice

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:44 PM PDT up reply actions  

hopefully i also one day learn to write the way the outcome will make sense to me…

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions  

I am certainly watching this year’s crop of UFAs with interest…the salary cap is finally seeming to affect the market over here.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 15, 2010 1:54 PM PDT up reply actions  

oui. but it’s still mostly the older, almost past their best before date kinda players going to russia

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 1:59 PM PDT up reply actions  

I think its a good thing…makes teams (not randy carlye) play younger guys..instead and regurgitating (selanne not excluded) older players

2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 2:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

true… but as someone who lives next to russia and therefor can watch more khl than nhl, the better KHL is, the better for me ;)

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 2:15 PM PDT up reply actions  

Now that’s the kind of me-first thinking this blog definitely encourages.

Fuck you, east coast.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 15, 2010 2:36 PM PDT up reply actions  

though, balanced and non-crazy khl could be very useful for whole hockey playing europe and in a way to nhl too, especially if countries like belarus, kazakhstan etc. (which already have one team in KHL) caught real hockey fever and start to develop more players. having a high level league with working junior department would be then quite handy to raise these players

Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.

One more year!

by sleza on Jul 15, 2010 9:48 PM PDT up reply actions  

I agree

Bleacher Report is Shit

That is all

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them."

Albert Einstein

by Say *plan the parade one more time*... on Jul 16, 2010 8:27 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

Hah, funny you wrote this article – I subscribed to the Bleacher Report for a few weeks, and just unsubscribed yesterday due to it being primarily rampant speculative swill. Toss in the fact that it’s propagated by subpar unknown writers, and it’s pretty awful.

..:Fear The Fin:..
The artist formerly known as cyoung

by OtherKid on Jul 16, 2010 8:48 AM PDT reply actions   1 recs

That’s the key difference between Bleacher Report and SBNation: we only hire subpar known* writers.

*I knew Meg, he counts.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jul 16, 2010 10:11 AM PDT up reply actions  

Also, here at SB Nation, we take appropriate pride at being subpar.

Because, see, we properly understand the game of golf — it beats being over par.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 16, 2010 10:16 AM PDT up reply actions  

Don’t forget periodic plagiarism of Puck Daddy article.

SNN Sports - A theoretical Oilers blog (i.e. theoretically, I write stuff there). Link now 100% less broken.

by Doogie2K on Jul 16, 2010 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

I’m pretty sure Wallin has a NTC

by FinAdic on Jul 17, 2010 2:54 PM PDT reply actions  

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As you all know The Ducks blue line is suffering pretty badly.  Wiz being banished to the Islanders really doesn't help much.  What I'm about to suggest is crazy, probably not legal, and absolutely absurd.  But desperate times call for desperate measures.   

That is a picture of my girlfriend's dog, Mia.  And the holder of that hockey stick is me.  Every once in awhile I'll practice stick handling in my kitchen with a small tennis ball.  The other day, this interested Mia and she sort of made a game out of it.  I try to stick handle around her and she trys to get the ball.  At first this was no challenge to me, but then the little bastard started getting really good.  So, here's my solution:  

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