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The Kings Clinic Series

The Los Angeles Kings are hosting a series of clinics this season to educate and improve their fabase's skills in a variety of areas.  Their first two clinics are the Matt Greene Checking Clinic and the Jarret Stoll Offensive Skills Clinic(Links are .pdf)  I applaud these events.  They're a great method of showing what not to do on the ice.  Who better to show how not to use your body for a check than Matt Greene?  Who better to show how to not close as many offensive chances as possible than Jarret Stoll?  Your intrepid blogger was lucky enough to stumble upon the rest of the self-help seminars being offered this season.  Here they are:

Getting Enough Sleep, hosted by Anze Kopitar

Positioning, hosted by Jonathan Quick

How to Wax Your Eyebrows, hosted by Richard Clune

Never Get Carded!, hosted by Thomas Hickey

Living with a Tiny Penis, hosted by Wayne Simmonds

How to Close a Deal, hosted by Dean Lombardi

Iron Man Training, hosted by Justin Williams CANCELLED

The Art of Smiling, hosted by Michal Handzus

How to Always Get Noticed in Any Situation, hosted by Rob Scuderi

How to be a Giant Douche Bag at All Times, hosted by Jack Johnson (You might get positive instruction at this one)

The Key to Being Gorgeous, hosted by Ryan Smyth

Understanding Russians, hosted by Terry Murray

Being Un-Awesome, hosted by Bailey

3 recs  |  Comment 45 comments |

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Comments

Display:

Bravo, sir.

I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Jul 23, 2010 3:00 PM PDT reply actions  

Nice… very nice…

by Wooster11 on Jul 23, 2010 3:04 PM PDT reply actions  

LMAO!

TWO COMMENTS ABOVE=GOLD

by ScottyKnows on Jul 23, 2010 3:26 PM PDT up reply actions  

Wow. You win the internets today, sir.

http://www.prosportsblogging.com

by Great Ice-Pectations on Jul 23, 2010 4:32 PM PDT up reply actions  

How to be a Giant Douche Bag at All Times, hosted by Jack Johnson

hahahahaha.

by Mudhippy on Jul 23, 2010 3:37 PM PDT reply actions  

That was hilarious. True, obvious and neccessary, but still hilarious.

by samspade on Jul 23, 2010 4:13 PM PDT up reply actions  

Pinching at the right time

by Randy Jones

http://www.prosportsblogging.com

by Great Ice-Pectations on Jul 23, 2010 4:33 PM PDT reply actions  

Keeping your teeth

by Dustin Brown

http://www.prosportsblogging.com

by Great Ice-Pectations on Jul 23, 2010 4:35 PM PDT reply actions  

With Special Guest Oscar Moller

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Jul 23, 2010 4:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Haha

That one still hurts…

by hughestom1 on Jul 23, 2010 6:56 PM PDT up reply actions  

Heeeee

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 24, 2010 7:45 AM PDT up reply actions  

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

by Mudhippy on Jul 23, 2010 6:06 PM PDT up reply actions  

hahahahahhaa

"White trash can be pretty frightening."
-John Marston-

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 23, 2010 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

Family-Friendly Blogging by Rudy Kelly

Meh, I tried.

I’m not the smartest guy in the world. I don’t read books or know how "getting pregnant" works. I can’t promise nights filled with intellectual conversation, but if we’re walking past a chain-link fence, you can rest assured that I’m going to try and chew a hole through it.

by brokenyard on Jul 23, 2010 8:09 PM PDT reply actions  

i laughed

"White trash can be pretty frightening."
-John Marston-

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 23, 2010 8:27 PM PDT up reply actions  

People who stare at the goat

By Randy Jones

If the eyes are the windows to the soul, then these sunglasses are the curtains telling you to keep the fuck out!!!

by angelofdeath on Jul 23, 2010 10:44 PM PDT reply actions  

Communicating Effectively With Your Coach
by Alex Frolov

by TheChemist on Jul 23, 2010 10:45 PM PDT reply actions  

How To Fit In With Your New Teammates
by Ilya Kovalchuk POSTPONED INDEFINITELY

by TheChemist on Jul 23, 2010 11:07 PM PDT reply actions  

-Building a Legacy on the West Coast-

by Roman Cechmanek

Bettman's Nightmare: Until Recently, the Biggest C**block in the NHL

http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/

by Bettman's Nightmare on Jul 24, 2010 12:27 AM PDT reply actions  

Awakening the Giant Within

by Scott Parse with special guests Tony Robbins and Vern Troyer

Bettman's Nightmare: Until Recently, the Biggest C**block in the NHL

http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/

by Bettman's Nightmare on Jul 24, 2010 12:40 AM PDT up reply actions  

Reaching things on the top shelf, hosted by Nelson Emerson

by Nut on Jul 24, 2010 7:08 AM PDT reply actions  

Respecting Goaltenders, by Corey Perry.

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 24, 2010 7:14 AM PDT reply actions  

This is The Kings clinic series. Keep Corey Perry out of it….

by AnnihilatorRich on Jul 24, 2010 11:18 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

I just assumed he’d crowd in rudely on Quick’s clinic. :)

"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/

by Earl Sleek on Jul 24, 2010 11:19 AM PDT up reply actions  

He would, that jerk

by AnnihilatorRich on Jul 24, 2010 11:25 AM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

Positioning, hosted by Jonathan Quick

Heyyy, ladies.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 24, 2010 9:41 AM PDT reply actions  

Yeah, and the Greene checking clinic. Great price too, includes tickets.

by Mike in OC on Jul 24, 2010 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions  

Preventing Rudy’s Boners, by Jonathan Bernier

Tugboat is on the list to attend.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 24, 2010 12:50 PM PDT reply actions  

The first time my girlfriend saw Bernier, she told me he was too pretty to be a hockey player. I think he was wearing guy-liner at the 2008 draft party, she’s had a hard on for him since

by AnnihilatorRich on Jul 24, 2010 1:15 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions  

I don’t blame her. Unf.

Hooray for masks. It’d be a crime to hurt anything that pretty.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 24, 2010 1:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Looks like Brandon Flowers??

Eh?

I’m not the smartest guy in the world. I don’t read books or know how "getting pregnant" works. I can’t promise nights filled with intellectual conversation, but if we’re walking past a chain-link fence, you can rest assured that I’m going to try and chew a hole through it.

by brokenyard on Jul 24, 2010 6:43 PM PDT up reply actions  

Flowers can’t smize. Bernier is FIERCE.

In Dinglebarn We Trust

by Niesy on Jul 25, 2010 3:38 PM PDT up reply actions  

Understanding Russians, hosted by Terry Murray

Terry had to drop this engagement on account of needing to freshen up on his russian vocabulary, but Dean Lombardi is taking over hosting duties so there’s no need to panic.

by The Ram on Jul 24, 2010 2:00 PM PDT reply actions  

REC’D

"White trash can be pretty frightening."
-John Marston-

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 26, 2010 5:10 AM PDT up reply actions  

shouldn’t the small weenie clinic be with dustin brown?

by Worlock on Jul 25, 2010 11:20 PM PDT reply actions  

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As you all know The Ducks blue line is suffering pretty badly.  Wiz being banished to the Islanders really doesn't help much.  What I'm about to suggest is crazy, probably not legal, and absolutely absurd.  But desperate times call for desperate measures.   

That is a picture of my girlfriend's dog, Mia.  And the holder of that hockey stick is me.  Every once in awhile I'll practice stick handling in my kitchen with a small tennis ball.  The other day, this interested Mia and she sort of made a game out of it.  I try to stick handle around her and she trys to get the ball.  At first this was no challenge to me, but then the little bastard started getting really good.  So, here's my solution:  

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