Not being a religious man, I don't get to share in all the fun and excitement of stuff like Ramadan, Hanukkah, or Lent. However, I have something a million times better:
It starts Sunday, August 1st, and it's going to be awesome. The link is here for all the details about exciting shows like "Air Jaws 3" and "Shark Attack Survival Guide" (good luck, fucker).
No matter what hockey team you like best, you've got to admit that Shark Week is much better than Duck Week or King Week.
Please join me in celebrating the wonders of the sea, science, and giant monster sharks biting the hell out of people.
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Changing gears, the Sharks (the hockey team, not the animal) website has an interesting fan poll up: which player would you want taking a critical penalty shot in the last seconds of the game?
I would choose Pavelski, since for whatever reason most of the big-money players on the Sharks never deliver in shootouts.
Please leave your votes and your Shark Week prayers in the comments.