High Holy Days
Not being a religious man, I don't get to share in all the fun and excitement of stuff like Ramadan, Hanukkah, or Lent. However, I have something a million times better:
SHARK WEEK!

It starts Sunday, August 1st, and it's going to be awesome. The link is here for all the details about exciting shows like "Air Jaws 3" and "Shark Attack Survival Guide" (good luck, fucker).
No matter what hockey team you like best, you've got to admit that Shark Week is much better than Duck Week or King Week.
Please join me in celebrating the wonders of the sea, science, and giant monster sharks biting the hell out of people.
* * *
Changing gears, the Sharks (the hockey team, not the animal) website has an interesting fan poll up: which player would you want taking a critical penalty shot in the last seconds of the game?
I would choose Pavelski, since for whatever reason most of the big-money players on the Sharks never deliver in shootouts.
Please leave your votes and your Shark Week prayers in the comments.
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Comments
which player would you want taking a critical penalty shot in the last seconds of the game?
If I were a Sharks fan, I might go outside-the-box and say Ryan Vesce. I think he could get really close to a goaltender and yet through optical illusion appear to still be very far away.
Of course, if I were a Sharks fan I’d probably have given up on hockey by now. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Vesce signed in the KHL this year.
And Pav’s is awesome in the shootout.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Funny that you say that because this is exactly what he did in a game against Dallas. He got way too close but then forgot to fire the damn puck. We lost that game.
Too bad I can’t find the highlights of that online.
Fear the Fin - where Russians are underappreciated.
Our Shark, who art in the ocean,
scary be thy name.
Thy dorsal fin come,
thy bite be done,
and fucking destroy whatever is in your way.
Amen
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 30, 2010 9:01 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
AMEN!
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
by mssjsclowie29 on Jul 30, 2010 9:27 AM PDT up reply actions
depends on who has been scoring in the game.
remember Heatley’s Hat trick at Opening night? he was just on that night and he knew he was gonna score going into that penalty shot.
you’ve got to take the flow of the game into consideration when making a decision like this. you go with who’s hot.
however, if i had to choose someone without taking any of that into consideration it would be Pavs or Clowe.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
10-15 years ago, I used to get geeked-up for the Wesminister Dog Show, those dogs were fascinating somehow. It’s like watching Olympic curling with the perverse scatalogical hope that a dog will take a shit at the wrong time. Plus the constant (legitimate) “bitch” references, which at that time were not allowed on TV. And throw in Joe Garragiola, who was America’s Bob Uecker before Miller Lite made him national, and it was a visual and audible sensation. But Shark Week, man that’s just fricken GENIUS!

I don’t care how gangsta you are, seal. Air Jaws is going to destroy you.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Jul 30, 2010 10:12 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
“Air Jaws” is just what the Discovery Channel calls paying scientists to drag shit that looks like seals behind their boat and getting awesome footage of giant great whites jumping out of the water, like in the picture up top. It’s great.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Correction
Air Jaws is actually the newest movie in the Air Bud series, which follows the story of a Shark that plays basketball.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
I don’t care how gangsta you are, seal. Air Jaws is going to destroy you.
That’s Clyde, I think*, and he would most definitely fuck a shark up and then cover his face with his flipper in a hilarious fashion.
*It might be Seymour, I’m not sure.
I don’t care how gangsta you are, seal.
Now that I think about it, “seal” could be a new derogatory name for a black person that I don’t know and in that case how dare you.
I’ll bet you regret making this comment.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Seal has a disfigured face. That’s Snoop Dogg.
by Nut on Jul 30, 2010 9:00 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
REFEREE: Wait a minute. Are you sure you want him in your starting five?
COACH: Look. I know he’s a dog, but…
REFEREE: I meant the white guy.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
by brokenyard on Jul 30, 2010 11:45 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pavelski should take the penalty shot imo. Not necessarily cuz he’s clutch or whatever (although that helps) but just cuz he’s damn good at them.
I’m surprised Boyle is in second to last place though (he was number 2 for me behind Pavs), he’s really good at penalty shots too and he plays well under pressure.
Ryan Clowe also has that sick little move where he dekes a couple times then backhands it high glove side. That move works pretty much every time unless the goaltender knows Clowe well enough to see it coming. I remember in one shootout last season Tim Thomas knew about Clowes move before hand and he had his glove just waiting for Clowe to backhand the puck into it.
Was that the time when he was talking to the goaltender before hand and the goalie was all like, “Are you gonna do your move?”
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
Oh i dunno lol. Maybe, i must’ve missed that.
I do remember Tim Thomas laughing and having a big ass grin on his face after he stopped the shot basically saying “I KNEW HE’D DO THAT SHIT AHAHAHA!”
It’s like during that double penalty shot game against the Capitals, where Clowe said something to the effect of, “Well, I knew the goalie was new so he probably didn’t know my move.” That he acknowledged in an interview that he only has a single move is hilarious.
American Heroes: Joe Pavelski, Buster Posey, David Backes
Proud member of the "Doug Wilson for Governor" Club
Fools and Sages
Wisniewski signed for 1 year @ $3.25 mil. It boggles the mind that James Wisniewski will be making that much money.
Goddamnit
UNRELATED: Handel is the most overrated composer ever...
by Bleys on Jul 30, 2010 1:19 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Eh, one year I can stomach. It’s Koivu savings money anyways.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jul 30, 2010 1:33 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
lol wow really?? That’s crazy money for that dude wtf. They should’ve just let it go to arbitration.
I’m not sure it’s that out of whack — and it ensures he starts the season where he’s needed, in uniform.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
It is interesting a player of Wies’s caliber in baseball would be making about $10MM. But in hockey we fans complain about 1/3 that price while hockey is alot more physical of a game and I contend it require more pure athleticism to play.
Let's go Ducks.
I hear what you’re saying, but that’s not quite accurate.
Salary Comparison of Major Sports
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
Oh i didn’t realize how long he’s played in the NHL, i thought this was his second year in the NHL with the Ducks. I guess his point totals aren’t bad for the number of games he’s played. He’ll probably do 40+ points next season.
And I’m not even sure it’s an outrageous raise — he made $2.75 M last year. Between him and Koivu, they’ve re-signed at a net savings.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
For a third rounder...
I rec’d that shit.
Okay, now we’re back in the d-man market. Good thing I didn’t hustle on that signing post. See ya, Wis.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jul 30, 2010 5:09 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Are you actually going to have defensemen this year?
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Hey Sbisa was badass as hell during the olympics…..
We got rid of Wiz and Eminger, no matter what happens I can’t really start bitching till about November and we’re at the bottom of the league. I’m sure he’s up to something…
I’m honestly hoping Fowler can make the jump…
I rec’d that shit.
Oh, you traded Pronger too. It was longer ago, but since you went with Nied’s instead of the Rake and now Nieds is retired, I thought it was worth mentioning.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
will arthur finally praise murray..trading his most hated player?….the suspense is killing me
"Things ain't lookin' bueno!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 30, 2010 5:48 PM PDT up reply actions
wow
…and Ian White is signed for less than 3? Wiz must have some dirt on Murray that no one else knows about. =/ Go
Seems as if the Isles okayed the salary, Murray just inked it for them.
Or he’s just really fast when he wants to be.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jul 30, 2010 5:44 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Sharks kill and eat cute little seals. I just can’t watch the raw truth of the circle of life. But then there are those evil seals that take out those cute penguins who are just trying to live.
A duck has never done anything bad except those that chased my brother when he was younger, but that was a good time.
Let's go Ducks.
Ducks are nature’s terrorists.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I'd choose Marleau
He’s the only Shark who made it into the second round at the 2009 NHL Elimination Shootout.
"Look at me. Yes, you heard me. Look at me. Don't stop."
-Dan Boyle in front of a mirror.
In order to answer the penalty shot question, I have a question of my own: is the goalie a rookie who has seen little to no footage of Ryane Clowe? The man has only one move, but damn that thing is effective the first time.
Otherwise, I choose Joe Pavelski. The guy is one of the top five shootout guys in the NHL.
American Heroes: Joe Pavelski, Buster Posey, David Backes
Proud member of the "Doug Wilson for Governor" Club
Fools and Sages
Yeah saw the Discovery ad bout Shark week … tempted to watch.
But that’s all I’ve got to add, I’m tired. Been a long day and my foot hurts.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
What happened to the foot? Shark attack?
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I wish I knew … the heel of my right foot hurts … been hurting for weeks … I would swear there is a nail buried in it cept I’ve looked a million times, no nail. I’ve been limping forever now and I can’t figure out what’s going on. Stubborn me hasn’t gone to the doctor. And putting pressure on it and ignoring the pain isn’t working.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
I’ve never really understood, nor gotten into the hype, of shark week… what’s the big fucking deal? Animal Planet or History Channel or Discovery or some shit shows crap on sharks? I can do that on YouTube.
Fuck sharks… the “Great White Shark”? They’re fucking racist!
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
I’ve never watched it either because I’m not retarded, but I think new episodes are on right after Two and a Half Men.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
“I don’t watch this show because it’s stupid” and “Yes, it is indeed stupid” qualifies as friendship to you? I… I’m sorry.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
Look, I think you’re great and all, but this just isn’t going to work out. Not with Nut being all judgmental of me if I say otherwise.
He’s like a dad that won’t let you date a girl just because she’s horribly addicted to heroin and wants you to try it out because it’ll be fun and open your mind and whatnot. Talk about old fashioned.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
This is just incredibly disrespectful of my beliefs. How rude.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Apparently Devin Setoguchi signed a 1-year $1.8 M deal — not bad, DW. We should probably wait a few hours and make sure he isn’t traded Wisniewski-style, though. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Wow, that’s awesome – I assumed it would take more than that.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Nice… I’m a huge Setoguchi fan, and SJ will be good to have him at that cap hit. Although I’m surprised it’s not more than that.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Even in my optimistic salary-cap breakdown right after the season ended I had him making three million. I’m not sure how Doug Wilson pulled this off.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California

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