I know, you thought I was gone, but I remembered this story just now and I didn't think I had told it here before.
I went to a strip club when I was 19. They were dancing or whatever and in the corner they had ESPN on. I had missed the Kings game that night so I was watching the ticker to see if they had won. (They did!) A stripper came over to me and we had this conversation:
"Candy" or "Sasha" or whatever the fuck: Hey baby, want a dance?
Your Noble Blogger: (*never taking eyes off screen) Nah, I'm good.
"C"o"S"oWTF: Are you.. are you watching the TV?
YNB: (*sees score, pumps fist) Alright.! ...What's that?
"C"o"S"oWTF: You're a fag.
YNB: (*dejected) I just wanted to see the score...