Dangerously Off-Topic: Megalodon's Moral Dilemma
by Megalodon on Jul 9, 2010 2:01 PM PDT
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(Warning: This is even less about hockey than Rudy's stripper story or the time I talked about Futurama.)
Thursday night while coming home from work I was in the right-hand turn lane at a major intersection. I was waiting for the person ahead of me to go when I noticed a white van to my left begin to back up. They were backing up on a major street, which was odd, but I assumed they wanted to get into a turning lane or something, so whatever. Suddenly, the van began to turn sharply, and my driver's side mirror was smashed to pieces.
Meg's thoughts at this point: God damn it!
As I pulled ahead and gestured to the van to follow me into a nearby parking lot, I noticed that they were 1) driving a really old 70s-style van with round windows and 2) had a disabled placard hanging from the window. We parked and I began to look around for my insurance info. I did not get out of the car yet, since there is about a 50% chance that someone driving that type of van is a serial killer.
Further details began to make themselves known to me. Chief amongst these was that the van, now parked next to me, had a bunch of writing on the side. It said something like this:
"LET WELFARE MOTHERS WORK. WORK FROM HOME ON HOMEWORK MAKE MONEY WITH HOMEWORK I CAN HELP HOMEWORK HOMEWORK WITH CHILDREN"
This obviously isn't word-for-word but it's very close. I read it a few times, and it was incomprehensible. It seemed to be advertising some sort of business or something.
The driver at this point had exited the van and was standing at my driver's side rolled-down window. The person who hit me was a tiny old woman who was at least 70 years old.
Meg's thoughts at this point: God damn it.
She was shorter standing up outside my car than I was sitting up in the driver's seat. She apologized and I was nice about it, and asked her how she wanted to handle the situation. She said she had insurance, but would rather just pay for it. Fine with me. The following conversation then occurred:
Old Lady: Do you know how much this would cost to fix?
Me: No.
Old Lady: Well I don't have any cash on me.
Me: Okay.
Old Lady: I get my retirement check next week, so I can send you money then.
Me: .....
Old Lady: I may have to borrow some money.
Me: ....
Meg's thoughts at this point: God....damn it.
The old lady said she hit my car because she didn't see me at all, because she "was up high" and my "car is a hard color to see at night" (light grey, but whatever).
She gave me all of her information, including her e-mail address and phone number. This conversation then occurred:
Old Lady: That's my phone number, but my phone has been having problems.
Me: Oh yeah?
Old Lady: Yeah, it keeps saying "PNK Number." I don't know what that means.
Me: That's weird.
Old Lady: The phone company came out to look at it.
Me: ....
Old Lady: I pay 90 dollars a month for my phone and I can't even get a tone!
Me: (sigh)
Old Lady: It might be hard to get a hold of me because of my phone so I'll include my address in case you want to send me a postcard.
Me: (thinking: wtf?)
So that's basically the situation. I don't have a driver's side mirror. I already ordered a replacement and it's on its way (it was only like 40 bucks on Amazon) but I don't know if I should ask this lady for any money. Here are the basic elements of my dilemma:
1) She's old and on a fixed income, so it's mean to make her pay.
2) Yeah but I'm poor too.
3) She had me promise to send her the information - it sounded like she genuinely felt bad and wanted to make up for it.
4) Yeah but she's so old and it was an accident.
5) Yeah but if she can't see me in my car then how the hell would she keep from running over a little kid? She needs to learn a lesson!
6) But how will this teach her a lesson? Taking forty bucks from an old lady won't make anything better.
7) But she probably shouldn't be driving.
8) So what are you going to do, report her to the police?
9) That would be awful.
10) Yeah, I know.
So that's the situation. Anyone care to offer advice in the comments? I know I can trust you people to offer constructive and enlightening feedback.
(Oh, and it shouldn't be overlooked that when we parked and I waited in my car looking for my insurance info, I effectively forced a disabled old lady to get out of her van and come around and stand by my door while we talked).
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Make her work it off — can she write Ducks posts for a few days while I concentrate on cowboy murder?
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jul 9, 2010 2:09 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Failing that, though, I think the best solution is to get her to help with your homework.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Jul 9, 2010 2:31 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
She seems like she knows something about that.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I say
Send her a postcard and thank her for her honesty, but decline her offer.
'The good news is, there's a little more room in the penalty box; there's only five Sharks in there now.' -- Randy Hahn, VAN @ SJS 8 April 2010
Umm…I’ll send you twenty bucks? Geez, man. I don’t like the thought of harassing old ladies.
You could get a little charity going. Think about it: MEG AID. KEEPING OLD BITCHES FROM BEING TOSSED FROM THEIR HOMES SINCE 2010.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Forget about it
Just think of it as POSITIVITY! for next years playoffs.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
either that
or go to that Children’s hospital in Oakland where you donated toys and demand them back in order to pay for your mirror.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
by PNK on Jul 9, 2010 2:43 PM PDT up reply actions 2 recs
This is a good idea.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
meatballs?
You won’t even need a plate.
by luvsthebigcurve on Jul 9, 2010 9:36 PM PDT up reply actions
I was thinking more baked goods. Old lady’s love to bake right?
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Jul 11, 2010 11:24 PM PDT up reply actions
LOL
Print out a BS receipt for 500+ and tell her you had to replace the whole door. That’ll teach her! It’s not your fault she drives a huge van.
by ScottyKnows on Jul 9, 2010 2:50 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I knew I could count on our readers.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Yknow
see if she has any children and see what you can do to get her off the road.
"Skillet, we just spent $64,000 in that bar. So we're gonna have to get jobs to cover up the fact that we rob banks" -Mouse Fitzgerald
Another thing I should have included in the story: I’m very very lazy.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Meh
I voted before I read the whole story….I’d be pissed off but….I’d just forget about it and mark it under Karma…maybe my good deed will give me something good in return.
High sticking, tripping, slashing, spearing, charging, hooking, fighting, unsportsmanlike conduct, interference, roughing… everything else is just figure skating.
- Anonymous
"My hope is that we put him (Couture) on a line with Seto and CloweThen you get the Coochy-Goochy-Clowe line." - Cerise
This is why old people shouldn't fucking drive
Make her pay for the mirror, she broke it, thems’ the consequences. You’re not teaching her a lesson, just getting what she ows you.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
I am highly amused (and slightly disgusted) by the poll results. Of course, that’s my usual reaction to BOC so nothing new there.
Send her a booster seat and let it slide.
Hey Foxy, would you call that a doh-si-doh or a dipsy doodle?
I wonder if the results would be different if we read the story before choosing our selection. :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
I say you call it in to insurance, her insurance will pay so she won’t have to scramble her worthers originals to trade for a mirror and they’ll probably stop insuring her so she won’t be able to drive anymore and she won’t end up crashing through the local farmers market. Then, you can offer to park her van on an overpass like they do 1-800-GOT JUNK trucks so she doesn’t lose on advertising. Win-Win!
by Nut on Jul 9, 2010 3:40 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
I also like this idea.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
She probably has a deductible greater than $40. I say let it slide. You’re going to spend over $40 worth of labor to get her to pay up anyway. Call it good karma and feel great about yourself. Write several posts about your good deed, and use it as an opener in a bar to get women to sleep with you. All when it’s in your best interest overall. That’s WIN-WIN-WIN.
by mepex on Jul 9, 2010 7:46 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
this is by far the best suggestion..anything helping to get laid is a winner well done
and besides like mepex says..it generated a good post…thats $ value right there..although yea..im lazy too and would hate havent to fix my car
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 10, 2010 7:07 AM PDT up reply actions
Was the only damage to the mirror? Nothing else? Are you able to replace it yourself? If not, what is the labor cost to have it replaced? That needs to be factored in as well.
Would you let a bum off the hook cause he’s a bum? Or is it just little old ladies that leave you feeling guilty? If it helps ease your mind, ask her for half the materials and labor costs. She shouldnt’ get off free for causing damage.
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
I lost this same mirror before when I had my car parked on the street and somebody smashed the mirror off during the night. I bought a replacement online like this time and brought the mirror in with me when I went to get some other repairs done and had it installed at the shop. The part is only like 40 dollars but you know how they gouge you for labor.
I may try to do it myself cause it seems really easy but, again, I’m very very lazy. I’ve got stuff to do this weekend so I’ll probably just be driving around without a mirror for a bit.
Would you let a bum off the hook cause he’s a bum? Or is it just little old ladies that leave you feeling guilty?
Yeah I don’t know. If she hadn’t mentioned her retirement I probably would have just had her send me the money for the part, since I would just treat her like an adult and like I would want to be treated – fairly, but not like a charity case. But mentioning her retirement check made me both feel really bad and kind of get upset at her, like she maybe only mentioned it as a way of playing the old lady card.
It’s like that Seinfeld where all the old people steal. “I’m old! I’m confused!”
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Assuming you could actually get a hold of her (either by the fake / and or / busted phone number she gave you) you have to consider this:
$40 will get you a nice case of imported beer and a burrito.
I also have her e-mail address. I don’t want to give it out here but it was hilarious. It involves the letters “bj” and the numbers “123.”
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Maybe I should e-mail her this post.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
and it shouldn’t be overlooked that when we parked and I waited in my car looking for my insurance info, I effectively forced a disabled old lady to get out of her van and come around and stand by my door while we talked
Seriously, at this point you sounded like you’re about to punch yourself in the face. Just get the insurance money or not; either way, you’re not a bad person. Well. Unless you show her the jokes.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Old Bag: oh, there’s no way I could pay!
Meg: Well… *takes off pants
(I’m drunk)
by RudyKelly on Jul 9, 2010 4:26 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
MAKE HER PAY!
Shit son, you aren’t running a charity here! Charge her an extra 20 bucks for having to put up with her old person smell, too. It’s only fair.
Esta noche nosotros cenamos Tortugas
Así que bueno, ellos serán
Z!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
by ZeroIndulgence on Jul 9, 2010 5:42 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
I’ve seen this before. This is basically like Knights of the Old Republic. So if you want to become a Jedi, let it go. If you want to become a Sith, cut her head off.
That asshole that does the news thinks he's smarter than me.
by brokenyard on Jul 9, 2010 6:14 PM PDT reply actions 3 recs
Oh shit – good point. I’m going Sith on this run through.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
haha….awesome
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 10, 2010 7:10 AM PDT up reply actions
I just read the old ladies blog….know what it says……hahahahahaha sucka!
by anonymous1 on Jul 9, 2010 7:08 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
If you really want some good karma, find out why she’s paying $90 a month for a land line and straighten that out for her.
I once got hit from behind in a driving rain and the guy was so nice and very willing to pay for the damage that I told him it wasn’t necessary. It was just a new dent to add to several old ones and I didn’t want to go to all the trouble it would take to get one dent fixed just to make the guy pay. He even insisted I wait a couple of days to make sure I hadn’t been hurt. I told him not to worry about it and a week later I got a $50 gift card from him in the mail. So it worked out.
by Patty (in Dallas) on Jul 10, 2010 8:29 AM PDT reply actions
You just call you insurance assuming you have uninsured or full coverage and let them take care of it.
Or you could call her kids and get her in trouble.
Or if you are really ambitious you can just tell her the damage comes to 1500 but you’ll take that sweet van instead, and then you have a sweet loveshacking serial killing mobile.
by Cool Dudes on Jul 10, 2010 4:43 PM PDT reply actions 1 recs
Last summer summer I was in a car accident in San Jose with some old guy. He admitted fault, we swapped info, etc…. My front bumper was a little scratched but his entire drivers side was smashed up and I didn’t really care too much so I didn’t file a claim. 8 months later the guy sues me in small claims court for $7500. Using my magical skillz from high school debate class I ended up talking it down to $1500 +$85 for court costs. Long story short, get the old bitch to pay before her memory goes fuzzy and she sues your ass to cover her crazy meds from Mexico.
San Jose Sharks: Welcome to the Failoffs
I foresee a future in which I cite this blog post in court. Awesome.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
were all retarded here..except maybe earl its ok
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 13, 2010 5:03 AM PDT up reply actions
Barter
Does she quilt, knit, bake, own any antiques, have cute granddaughter?
Obstreperously Avatarless
grandma quilted blankets are always so snuggly..i vote for that
2009-2010 Anaheim Ducks.."Hey at least were not the sharks!!"
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Jul 15, 2010 3:20 PM PDT up reply actions
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