This Shark Will Shoot You in the Face
by Megalodon on Aug 21, 2010 10:45 PM PDT
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PrintIf you, like me, are awesome, then you are also an expert in things that are cool, kickass, or radical. You are probably also aware of the amazing powers that can be unleashed when two things which are independently sweet or bitchin' are combined into one package.
For example. peanut butter and chocolate are both great foods, but combined into one unstoppable force, they become a dish fit for a king.
According to The Big Book of Things Which Are Awesome*, Sharks are number 1 in the category of "Awesome Animals." Combining Sharks with anything else can instantly up the Cool Factor by several magnitudes.Take knives, for example; by themselves they are modestly rad, but combined with Sharks...
...we get something so fucking great it makes you want to have your eyelids surgically removed so you never have to stop looking at it.
Awesomologists had previously believed that the highest Cool Factor that could exist outside of laboratory conditions was an 8.3, in the person of one Ian Fraser "Lemmy" Kilmister. Attempts at artificially approaching or exceeding the Lemmy Barrier have been dangerous and unsuccessful thus far. However, thanks to Antero Niittymaki and the artist David Arrigo, we may be witnessing a breakthrough in Awesome Science.
Ladies and gentlemen...I give you, THE MASK:
(via cdn0.sbnation.com)
A Shark, coolest of all the animals, has been successfully combined with an old-timey gangster holding a Tommy gun.
My friends, this is the Large Hadron Collider of Kickass Studies. We've seen further into the nature of awesome then we had ever before dreamed possible, and are closer than ever to the source. The Gangster Shark Mask will be remembered in the years to come as the discovery that sparked the Singularity and began the Age of Cool.
I guess what I'm trying to say is I really like this mask. Great job, Nitty and artist.
More angles and very informative comments at Fear the Fin. Apparently Niittymaki frequently has gangster stuff on his helmet in reference to one of Al Capone's hitmen? Damn that's fucking cool.
* = Dr. Johannes Megalodon. The Big Book of Things Which Are Awesome. 3rd ed. San Jose: Radical Publications, 2003. Print.
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That mask is the cool.
we get something so fucking great
That arm knife you keep showing is not really that cool dude. I’d smack my buddy if busted that thing out trying to show off at a get-together. But that mask is sweet, and sharks are cool.
Smacking a guy with a Shark Knife would be the last mistake you ever made.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
“Nitty just sounds dumb.” — Johannes Megalodon
And yet there it is, right on the front of his mask. Hee.
I dig the gangster shark, though. Makes me think of Niitty-Mack the Knife.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Yeah I didn’t know that it was a reference to a mobster guy. That makes it cool. Nitty is now acceptable.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Allegedly a reference to Frank NItti, who, btw, was so full of awesome as to have gone to the bother of being born in a town called Angr(y)i.
That, friends, is awesome.
Colorado Avalanche Offseason Strategy - Please wake us in October
by Hopfenkopf on Aug 22, 2010 4:47 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
but combined into one unstoppable force, they become a dish fit for a king.
You’re right. A king is pretty awesome inspiration for a team name. Wait, what?
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
that doesnt make it any less awesome
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 22, 2010 3:04 PM PDT up reply actions
In fact, I think it makes it MORE awesome.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
we get something so fucking great it makes you want to have your eyelids surgically removed so you never have to stop looking at it.
this is how i feel about looking at this
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 22, 2010 3:06 PM PDT reply actions 2 recs
Hey, Sharks fans, ignore this picture and remember that there’s a really cool knife in the shape of a Shark somewhere. That makes us about even. Congratulations.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
by brokenyard on Aug 22, 2010 7:16 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
hahahahahaha
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 23, 2010 5:39 AM PDT up reply actions
Yeah if I was a Ducks fan I would want to live in the past too.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 22, 2010 9:21 PM PDT up reply actions 6 recs
Yeah you do have that to be proud of … but tell me, how did it feel not making the playoffs this year? :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
About as bad as making it all the time and getting nowhere I bet…
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Aug 23, 2010 5:14 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
I read “Large Hadron Collider”
as LARGE HARD-ON COLLIDER.
It reminded me of Corey Perry.
by innes on Aug 23, 2010 12:36 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
LARGE HARD-ON COLLIDER.
sounds like dry humping with a REALLY hot chic
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 23, 2010 5:39 AM PDT up reply actions
Super Collider?
I just met her!
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
by PNK on Aug 23, 2010 7:42 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
And then they built the Super Collider.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Okay which one of you guys went on a trip recently? You didn’t tell us you made the news. :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
There’s nothing wrong with a guy dressing comfortably for a long plane ride.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
hes a commando….just dotn ask him where he keeps his gun
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 23, 2010 7:21 AM PDT up reply actions
Question: wouldn’t you be afraid that, after using the Swiss Army Shark to defeat an opponent, you would inadvertently cross your arms defiantly to show what a badass you really are…?
by GordonBombay on Aug 23, 2010 12:22 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
reminds me of seven
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 23, 2010 12:25 PM PDT up reply actions
Hmmm…I hadn’t thought of this before. That thing is pretty damn dangerous.
Also, don’t give your children hugs while wearing it.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
looks like a good tool for circumscisions and any size can opener
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 23, 2010 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions
Note to self: don’t high-five the Shark Knife guy.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Apparently Niittymaki frequently has gangster stuff on his helmet in reference to one of Al Capone's hitmen?
Or he just likes to Gang Bang =/
Hitmen eh?
He also prolly likes to either whack a guy, off a guy, or whack off a guy. -Peter Griffin =P
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