This is why you don't negotiate with terrorists.  Trade for a forward now, Dean, or I'll sic the fucking leeches on you!

The 20 lines I most often steal from Fear & Loathing in Las Vegas:

20) Why not? Is this not a reasonable place to park?  

19)  You scurvy shiester bastard.

18)  You people voted for Hubert Humphrey, and you killed Jesus.  

17)  Righty-o man! ...Righty-o.

16)  No thanks, I have asthma.

15)  You're not Portuguese, man!  

14)  Boy this is really a nice pen! 

13)  Dogs fucked the Pope... no fault of mine.  

12)  Fuck it, you're fired.

11)  Awful jackass.

10)  We can't stop here!  This is bat country.

9)  Get your hands off my FUCKING neck!

8)  Tell me about the fucking golf shoes! 

7)  Did they pay you to fuck that polar bear?

6)  CAN YOU HEAR ME???

5)  Let's get down to brass tacks: how much for the ape?

4)  Limes?  ...What limes?

3)  Don't take any guff from these fucking swine.

2)  In a few hours, she'll probably be sane enough to work herself into some kind of towering Jesus-based rage at the hazy recollection of being seduced by some kind of cruel Samoan who fed her liquor and LSD, dragged her to a Vegas hotel room and then savagely penetrated every orifice in her little body with his throbbing, uncircumcised member.  

1)  Beautiful fucking tits, man!