Who goes on your team's Mt. Suckmore?
by Megalodon on Aug 3, 2010 7:12 AM PDT
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A glossy picture of Bryan Marchment. I own this.
As Earl unveiled to everyone here yesterday, Puck Daddy is going to be doing a series of "Mt. Rushmores" for each NHL team, in which popular bloggers name their picks for the four iconic figures in their team's history. Your favorite players, the best coaches, or the world-class GMs that made your franchise shine through the years. I can't wait until they get to the Sharks (Thornton, Marleau, Nabokov, and Nolan, and if you think different I'll cut you).
This is a great idea for off-season blogging fun. However, it should be noted that happy thoughts and favorite players can only get you so far. There is another side of Mt. Puckmore that needs to be explored. A dark, dirty, terrible flip-side. We'll call it, in the interest of family-friendly blogging (hah!), NHL Mt. Suckmore.
These are the four players (or coaches or GMs or whatever) that, when you think of your favorite team, just fucking drive you out of your mind. The guys that you couldn't stand even when they wore your team's jersey, or players you are embarrassed to have once cheered on. Coaches who stayed long past their expiration date or GMs that couldn't make a good deal to save their lives. The blotches on your team's past roster that embarrass you whenever they are mentioned.
For the Sharks, I have made the following four nominations:
1. Kyle McLaren : This hulking oaf was, for a very brief time, a positive force on the Sharks blueline. He even hurt Drew Remenda, which is a huge plus for me. He could deliver some punishing hits and wasn't a liability on the ice...for a while. But then something happened. He got hurt. After this injury, Kyle McLaren was completely worthless. He stopped getting good hits and was even slower than he was before. He took bad penalties and was a HUGE negative on the team. For game after game I remember shouting at the television, wondering what in the hell McLaren was doing anywhere near an NHL arena. He never got any better, and he never had his playing time reduced!
Because of Kyle McLaren, my least favorite type of player is his model of plodding, penalty-taking defenseman with no offensive upside. For the frustration he caused me until he was finally let go, Kyle McLaren goes on my Sharks Mt. Suckmore. At least things got better after he left, right?
2. Todd Harvey : Having an instigator like Todd Harvey on your team is a double-edged sword. You like him when he gets under the skin of the opponent, but you always feel a little dirty when you see him do something shitty and underhanded. Harvey could fight a little bit (and also knock himself out cold on the ice), but the majority of his time was spent yapping and hosting little segments on that stupid Sharks show with Drew Remenda. Todd Harvey falls into the same mold of player as Corey Perry and Matt Barnaby, and all those players are little shits. They have a role to play in the game and on the team, but that doesn't mean I have to like them.
Up on the mountain you go, Harvey.
3. Bryan Marchment : Currently employed as a scout for the Sharks, Bryan Marchment was, for his time playing with the team, my biggest hockey blindspot. I was an unashamed Marchment apologist, constantly viewing his actions through teal-tinted glasses. I defended his dirty hits and complained when he got penalties that were (in retrospect) probably justly deserved. Marchment was a filthy, dangerous player, and that's something that I just didn't see when he was on the team. Admitting you are wrong is the first step to improving yourself, and I see my changing attitude on Bryan Marchment as evidence of my maturing as a hockey fan.
My Marchment experience should be a lesson to us all. Are you ignoring the misdeeds of a player on your team just because of the jersey he wears?
I'll put Marchment, and by extension my more naive self, up on Mt. Suckmore.
4. Jamie Baker (as a broadcaster) : Nothing against the man as a player, but as a broadcaster he's just not good. He's negative and overly-critical and frequently drunk on air, especially after the second intermission. He reminds me of watching a game with an irritating uncle.
Jamie Baker fills the last space on my Sharks Mt. Suckmore.
Please share your nominations for your tream's Mt. Suckmore in the comments. It's cathartic.
Sharks Dishonorable Mentions:
Claude Lemieux
Drew Remenda
Pat Falloon
Jonathan Cheechoo
Alexei Semenov
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Bryan Marchment
that guy was pure evil
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 7:27 AM PDT reply actions
Sharks Dishonorable Mentions:
Kelly Hrudy?
Brian Heyward?
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 7:30 AM PDT reply actions
You know, we can’t put Brian Hayward up for everything…..
Actually, we can. Never mind.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Brian Hayward!!
He was a Shark, and is a blight on all that is hockey!
My mount Suckmore has him on it, and his face carved as the eyeballs of the remaining 3.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
He’s negative and overly-critical and frequently drunk on air, especially after the second intermission.
That actually sounds kind of awesome.
I'm against sigs......Fuck.
I was afraid it would come out like that, because it’s really not awesome at all.
Again, imagine an obnoxious drunk uncle who is just a huge asshole to everyone. Imagine trying to watch a hockey game with that guy, and he’s constantly criticizing the players and talking about how the Sharks are going to lose, and he’s not drunk enough to be sloppy and funny but just drunk enough to be irritating. That’s Jamie Baker.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
and he’s constantly criticizing the players and talking about how the Sharks are going to lose
Still, sounds kind of awesome.
and he’s not drunk enough to be sloppy and funny but just drunk enough to be irritating.
OK, I get it now. This sounds pretty unawesome. In your original description I pictured the announcer, Harry Doyle from Major League, played by Bob Uecker.
“Harry Doyle: The post-game show is brought to you by…
[searches through his papers]
Harry Doyle: Christ, I can’t find it. To hell with it. "
I'm against sigs......Fuck.
i could not disagree more…. If any thing I think Jamie is too soft and too much of a homer for the Sharks. I wish he would rip the team a new one once in a while…
Jamie Baker totally won me over this last year though during the weird time after Dan Boyle’s own goal… He totally defended the team, Dan Boyle, and laid into the Avs players for “giggling like little girls” in the locker room after that game. He said it was unprofessional and showed their immaturity. He said, “really? You like giggling huh, lets see if your giggling after game 6?”
Obviously you have the right to your own opinion but I think it off base here…
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah i agree.
Do you listen to the radio broadcasts Skilletboy? I’m guessing neither of us do. Meg does, so maybe Jamie Baker turns into a totally different person on the radio or something.
This last year I haven’t been listening on the radio, to be fair. But previous to this year I didn’t have cable and all away games I listened to via the radio. I really like Jamie and Danny, much more than Drew and Randy.
Is it possible that he turned really surly this year and because an ass? I guess…. I just think some people rub us the wrong way…
But factually I know that Jamie has gone out of his way to defend the Sharks and gets pretty hot when people overly citicize the Sharks. I am also including the interview on KNBR that Jamie gives often too…that quote I am referring to above was on KNBR with Ralph and Tom T.
I mean look at Rudy! LOL…
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 2:05 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah my reaction to him is based solely on the radio broadcasts, but I’ll stand by it. We’ll see this year – if I notice some specific things, I’ll write them down and mention them in game re-caps.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
frequently drunk on air
i think you got to be as a sharks broadcaster…how do u not kill yourself after so much disapointment…drinking takes away the suicidal thoughts..if the sharks choke again i expect him to be asked to be labodimized
do you really want the alternative? that anti jaime baker? heyward?..homer to the bone..nothing is teh ducks fault? be carfeul what you ask for..
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 8:05 AM PDT up reply actions
do you really want the alternative? that anti jaime baker? heyward?..homer to the bone..nothing is teh ducks fault? be carfeul what you ask for..
The Detroit commentators take that shit to a whole new level. Seriously, it’s like listening to two 9 years olds talk about their favorite team.
“I mean, the stick got caught in his feet, I don’t see how that’s Lidstroms fault.”
I'm against sigs......Fuck.
by JohnQPhats on Aug 3, 2010 10:37 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
The Detroit commentators take that shit to a whole new level. Seriously, it’s like listening to two 9 years olds talk about their favorite team.
thats not surprising..they follow there fans cue
us ducks?…ill tell how much it was our fault any day of the week
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:09 PM PDT up reply actions
Detroit commentators are fukin douche bags...
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 1:46 PM PDT up reply actions
For the Ducks:
Brendan Morrison
Shane Hnidy
Jeff Friesen
Ryan Whitney
Just yuck
There's nothing to see here. And nothing gazes back at me.
Hayward, Ahlers, the guy who points a camera at them, and Pierre Page.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Cheech got a dishonorable mention?? :(
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
I love Cheechoo, but Rudy requested it.
I do feel a little silly for how much I defended Cheechoo’s skills during his declining years, though.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
wasn’t most of that due to injury though??
How does the franchise goal scoring leader make a “all-time” suck list?
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions
I believe
That title belongs to Marleau.
Unless you mean in a single season.
"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Yes yes … Corrected.
Single season.
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 5:51 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I think we all do.
But I don’t think he should go on Mt. Suckmore as a big reason his skills declined were his injuries.
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 3, 2010 4:20 PM PDT up reply actions
that's pure genius
i am composing my kings list as we speak. who will do the photoshop?
Wait till this year.
Huh
I have not had the same experience or perception of Jamie Baker at all. I don’t listen to the radio broadcasts that much, but I’ve always enjoyed his commentary when I’ve listened to it or seen him on TV…
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
My Kings Suckmore 4...
- Valeri Bure
- Roman Vopat
- Marc Crawford
- Ron fucking Grahame!!!
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
You guys need a second mountain.
Cloutier, Calder, Cechmanek, Fukufuji. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
It was certainly a daunting task to choose only 4 from the Kings. I tried to do the best job of showing that the Kings’ degree of suckitude did not simply begin in 2003 (Cechmanek) but that it indeed spans across multiple generations.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 9:11 AM PDT up reply actions
Quisp has a poll up for the Kings at JOTC. Try not to get banned. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
JFTC, whatever.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Yeah, I immediately put up about six nominees in the comments section there who he left off the initial list. I’m waiting for all the canidates to be listed at the poll before casting my vote.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 9:26 AM PDT up reply actions
Lay off Fukufuji! Not his fault for being in that position; was out-classed but played as well as he could under bad circumstances. And personally, I’m happy for him that he got to play at the NHL level. It made his life, and good for him.
Totally agree. 100%
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 8:12 PM PDT up reply actions
for my blues
Eric Brewer
Eric Brewer
Eric Brewer
aaaaand
Eric Brewer
Did I ever tell you about the time Brasky was in a production of The King and I? Well anyway, before the show, Brasky chloroforms the entire cast, and slowly eats them in front of the audience for two hours. The production got pretty good reviews.
PRONGER SUCKS.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 3, 2010 9:40 AM PDT up reply actions 12 recs
I need to create 500 new SB Nation profile accounts right now just so that I can use each one to recommend this statement.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 10:07 AM PDT up reply actions
If only every SBNation community could read this comment… they’d all rec it (except for the Broad St. Hockey guys…)
In Lou We Trust: The system hates us, man.
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly
by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 3, 2010 1:15 PM PDT up reply actions
perhaps not
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:13 PM PDT up reply actions
You aren’t helping.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
just saying..he doesnt suck..he just an asshole theres a difference
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:26 PM PDT up reply actions
Unless he has an asshole for a mouth
In Dinglebarn We Trust
by Niesy on Aug 3, 2010 12:52 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Hate to say it… but I agree Proger doesn’t suck. I’d love to have him in teal…
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 1:49 PM PDT up reply actions
Have you no shame?
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I guess not...
I kinda like Pronger… I boo him of course but I like the way he plays…
It’s shameful I know :(
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 5:54 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I wasn’t judging him as a player, I was judging him as a human being. He sucks.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
woah, as a human being he can’t be all bad. Whenever duckies would have a day at the cancer ward at CHOC, there would be pronger and Parros. Those two seemed to always attend those.
On the ice his play is a little on the dirty side, but duckies did just fine for the games he was suspended in 2007. Now that he is in a different uniform I still can’t hate him. But bertuzzi is another matter—he is a dick.
Let's go Ducks.
Whenever duckies would have a day at the cancer ward at CHOC, there would be pronger and Parros. Those two seemed to always attend those.
He wanted a laugh.
by RudyKelly on Aug 3, 2010 4:26 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
Pronger causes cancer.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 3, 2010 4:44 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
You know what causes cancer—jealousy. Neener neener, duckies had Pronger to help win the cup and you didn’t neener neener.
You guys should pick on his most obvious bad flaw. That gap in his teeth is so huge you could drive a truck thru it.
Let's go Ducks.
That gap in his teeth is so huge you could drive a truck thru it.
“The last time I saw a mouth like that, it could eat an apple through a fence!”
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 8:20 PM PDT up reply actions
Or his small head.
And incredibly large helmet.
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 3, 2010 9:07 PM PDT up reply actions
I was gonna say this exact thing before I saw this.
Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
by PNK on Aug 4, 2010 8:06 AM PDT up reply actions
He’s negative and overly-critical
Are you sure you’re not talking about Drew Remenda here?
Bakes’ biggest sin as a broadcaster IMO is that when he starts talking (whether it’s analyzing a play, talking about his moments with the players on off days or reminiscing about his playing days), he continues to do so when play resumes, which cuts off Dan Rusanowsky from describing what’s going on on the ice. This is fine for TV, but for radio, it’s valuable that the PBP can get to calling the the game ASAP and Dan can’t do that when Jamie’s going on about a Johan Garpenlov story that tangentally relates to the game at hand.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
Drew Remenda is bad too, but these days I listen to a lot of games on Internet radio so Baker bothers me more.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I see. I had to stick with radio for quite a bit when I lived at my dad’s (old man didn’t want to miss his nightly news and reruns of the Daily Show), so I got used to Dan and Jamie for a good while myself.
Also, how can you tell Baker is drunk? Maybe it’s because I avoid alcohol at all costs, but I really can’t tell the difference.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
He starts talking over Dan a lot and rambles a lot more, and is much more excitable and kind of hostile then at the beginning of the game.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Kings don’t have a Mt. Suckmore. Kings are awesome!!!!!
(Really, any player from 2003-2007, except for Robitaille)
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
You guys should just include every goalie for the past 10 years except for Quick. It’d be a big mountain.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Mt. Suckmore? pfft, we only have awesome players… that said, can i name the head coach 4 times to that?
Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.
One more year!
Aki Petri-Berg? Ollie Jokinen?
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 10:55 AM PDT up reply actions
I’m just saying, Sleza – those who hang out in Glass Saunas shouldn’t throw stones :)
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 11:10 AM PDT up reply actions
...
well, actually they really should so they would get out of that place and go to a proper sauna… ;)
i can’t really hate a player who has always come to play in the team even if he hasn’t always really have a place there (which really is more coach’s fault than his)
Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.
One more year!
Off-topic
Did you folks all see that 4chan hacked into Fox News Radio today?
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 11:02 AM PDT reply actions 1 recs
That is the greatest thing that has ever happened.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I believe the girl and her family would disagree with you, sir.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 11:18 AM PDT up reply actions
She was probably a filthy liberal anyways.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
But what’s the point of being liberal if you can’t be filthy?
That 17-year-old Hokie sitting in the Greensboro Coliseum rafters in 1997 didn't see any of this coming.
I love the random listing of Naruto in the schedule at the top of that screenshot.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
Friesen,
the one guy who could make both ducks and sharks suckmores
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:24 PM PDT up reply actions
You’re really “dishonorable mentioning” Cheechoo?
I mean yeah, it ended shitty, but he got you Heatley (which could be the biggest steal in NHL history), and the only Shark to win the Richard Trophy.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Players that get traded for better players don’t gain quality – it’s not a transitive property thing.
And as happy as I was for Cheechoo’s great season with Joe, it was painful to watch his decline. I don’t dislike Cheechoo, but it was hard to have him on the team after a while.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
It was terrible watching him decline, but i kinda feel like we traded him at the perfect time. He really wasn’t SO bad for us durin his last season in 08-09, especially if you forget that he was once a Rocket Richard trophy winner. He was still putting up some ok points for us. Plus he was one of the very few players that scored a goal for us in the Ducks series.
Hey, did you guys know Jonathan Cheechoo eats moose? And you can’t get to his town by road during the winter? And that OH FUCK YOU SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT JONATHAN CHEECHOO.
by RudyKelly on Aug 3, 2010 2:38 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
He eats moose? I forgot all about that! I’m going to take him off the dishonorable mentions list now.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
can we sign cheecoo..that is awesome
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions
This proves it!!
Rudy does “love” animals…
;)
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 5:56 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I loved it when he made Nieds fall after deking him.
That was probably my favorite Cheech goal.
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 3, 2010 4:21 PM PDT up reply actions
New Mt. Puckmore up for the Avalanche, done by Adrian Dater.
MY GOD THE HATE IS BLINDING ME.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
haha lucky they didnt put up claude…your head would have exploded
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:28 PM PDT up reply actions
Sakic is the only one I can stand on that fucking thing. Even Dater is an awful jackass!
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
ill be ready for head implosion when the wings one goes up….err maybe not..i never hated yzerman or lidstrom or gordie..who would be 4?..as long as holmstrom isnt up there im good
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:41 PM PDT up reply actions
can we just nuke the Red Wings’ Mount Puckmore from orbit?
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
im good with just nuking the fans
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 12:51 PM PDT up reply actions
Dude, what?
I never listen to the Sharks radio broadcast really, I only watch the TV broadcast on CSN, so I have a much different take on Jame Baker aka “Bakes”. I dunno if Randy and Drew just bring it out of him or what, but Bakes comes off as this this super happy man-child who’s always smiling/laughing and saying nice things.
And Drew is great too wtf! He can be overly critical at times, but he still knows his shit and he’s a damn good broadcaster; although tbh i would probably like him a lot less if Randy Hahn wasn’t his partner.
Randy is without a doubt the fucking MAN. Sharks TV broadcasts wouldn’t be even close to as good if it wasn’t for Randy Hahn. Bret Hedican owns too.
Different opinions, I guess. I’ve never cared for Drew and I get really irritated by Baker on the radio. Randy is good though.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Sabres anti-Puckmore:
John Rigas
Brett Hull sucks
Drew Stafford
Taro Tsujimoto
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
Taro Tsujimoto
The ninja assassin?
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
He never did anything for us. He’s also only on Mount suckmore because i couldn’t justify putting him on mount puckmore though i really wanted to.
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
Taro Tsujimoto is always on top of Mt. Puckmore.
In Lou We Trust: The system hates us, man.
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly
by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 3, 2010 1:16 PM PDT up reply actions
Doing karate moves, probably.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I lul'd at this...
Shovel Sluts!!
I rec’d that shit.
She goes down quick.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
by brokenyard on Aug 3, 2010 2:54 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
yaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 3, 2010 3:14 PM PDT up reply actions
You have nothing to contribute except for negativity.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
Wait, is Brokenyard Chris Pronger?
In Lou We Trust: The system hates us, man.
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly
by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 3, 2010 6:05 PM PDT up reply actions
I’m too thematic today. But it’s possible.
Seriously, that noble lady valiantly falls on her funbags while skating around so those cocktail weenies can get their hopeless 20 second fantasies on, and all they can do is call her a slut? For shame, sirs. For shame.
I’d call them manwhores in revenge, but that would imply that I thought they have a lot of sex.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Eh, best not to judge BoC comments too harshly. Important thing was that I laughed.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
This might be pretty easy
Andrew Peters (utterly useless)
Brian Rolston (he just sucked)
Brad Lukovich (just as bad)
Mike Mottau (turns over everything)
In Lou We Trust: The system hates us, man.
"Pfft, Wii’s where it’s at. *Swings toy plastic racquet, separates shoulder"- RudyKelly
by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 3, 2010 1:19 PM PDT reply actions
Bakes isn't that bad
Yes, sometimes he can ramble on about teabagging for too long. And yes, sometimes his interviews consist entirely of him babbling a chummy story until time expires.
Compared to to the color guys on most other NHL teams though, Bakes is great. It’s a hell of a hard position to fill. Hell, remember McSorley?
I like jamie...
McSorley was an empty suit for Christ sakes…
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 1:51 PM PDT up reply actions
I stand alone. I feel like I’m in a Godsmack song.
Only I’m not as cool as they are.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
She’s my Rushmore.
Yeah, she was mine too.
Remenda. He’s gotten much better but the incessant whining about officiating.
Goc. This isn’t probably fair. See above, Remenda. But every fricken game Remenda had a hard on for this guy and talked him up. You would think he was the great secret of the NHL, but no, he was just the guy who killed our 3rd line at a critical point in Sharks history.
Belfour. Can this count?
Selanne. He he’s on the Ducks Rushmore, how about our Suckmore? He was so bad in SJ. Reportedly just wasn’t healthy, but it was so frustrating to see him spend a third of his season down on the ice. He talked like he cared but didn’t play that way here.
Totally agree about Harvey.
Honorable mentions, McSorely, Odgers, Mush, Guerin, Claude
Remenda’s not that bad, guys. You should listen to some other color guys sometime. We’ve got it good.
Marcel doesn’t suck, he just isn’t all that great. Big difference.
Belfour an asshole, sure. Add him to the list. But if he’d stayed in San Jose, he couldn’t have gotten arrested for threatening a prostitute while drunk, and tried to pay off the 5s with “one million dollars, hehehehe!”.
Ah, Jeff Odgers didn’t suck. He was a 4th liner who was asked to play like a scorer, and be captain to boot. He tried his damndest, but the Sharks were run by a bunch of syphilitic dope-fiends at the time.
WRONG!
The real Sharks Mt. Suckmore:
Chuck Grillo
Not a player, but the “genius” who kept drafting unknown Europeans who sucked. It took Lombardi years to rebuild the farm system, and meant we had to take on castoffs like….
Craig Janney (aka Carcinoma)
What vision! What an utter asshole!
Teemu Rihijarvi
Who? Exactly. The 1st round draft pick—by Grillo—who best exemplifies the poor drafting of the formative years of the Sharks. Nobody had heard of him either when they announced the pick. Literally. They could have drafted him in the 856th round.
Pat Falloon
Or how to waste high draft picks on players who actually were scouted heavily, but suck anyway.
Honorable mention: Ray Sheppard (aka Melanoma), Jeff Friesen on a breakaway (do that same move you always do, that never fools any goaltender, ever!), Pete Stemkowski (aka “the Stemmer”, our radio color guy for a long while who sucked balls), Teemu Selanne (man, you get one one hundredth less sunshine up here compared to SoCal, and your production halves?!), Bill Guerin (hey, let’s trade for your veteran leadership and playoff experience, and watch you float through games and take hooking penalties!), and Al Sims (coach for one year, who suuuuucked).
Too heavily weighted for the early, hopeless years. So much about that time is just a wash that it’s hardly worth mentioning specifics.
I should have included Falloon on the dishonorable list though.
And see, I loved Stemkowski. I’d take him over Baker any day.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Right. When we sucked.
But we sucked for all those years AND NEVER BENEFITTED FROM IT.
Really, add me to the mountain. The suck I was watching then must have seeped into my pores.
If it’s contagious, then we’re all in big trouble.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Forgot one Honorable Mention: Darryl "You Can’t Teach Offense" Sutter’s power play. The worst.
One of my worst Sutter memories was when the Sharks were losing the final game of a playoff series. (Think it was 2001.) In the final five minutes, he kept rolling four lines, including the dynamic duo of Todd Harvey and Mark Smith. I remember seeing them even out in the final 90 seconds.
That’s when I knew Sutter had to go.
Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com
I thought i was gonna hate someone named archer but I was wrong
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 4, 2010 10:31 AM PDT up reply actions
Did you take my suggestion and watch it? Awesome.
Drew Remenda praises everything. Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
yup..im balls deep in it..watched 4 episodes so far
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 4, 2010 10:51 AM PDT up reply actions
“Do you want ants? Because that’s how we get ants!”
Drew Remenda praises everything. Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
archer: hey come check this out
opening front of his his underwear
archer: come on look dont make it weird
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 4, 2010 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Preach!
Darryl Sutter: “Stephane Matteau plays in every game situation. Power play, penalty kill, final minute when trailing, opening faceoff.”
Other coach: “Seriously?”
DS: “That’s how we roll in Viking, Alberta, you gutless puke.”
Other coach: “Ok. See you in the playoffs, when your team is fatigued from playing 70 one-goal games!”
Sutter dragged the Sharks to respectability, but his coaching style was basically what his playing style was: gritty, hard-working, uncreative, ugly, and exhausting. (His GM style I would characterize as “lunatic typewriter-monkey.”)
Too heavily weighted for the early, hopeless years.
Considering how many of the lists here in the comments are weighted towards recent seasons for their respective teams (sorry Leafer87, but yours is an egregious example of that), I think it’s just equilibrium starting to form.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
Really, the level of awfulness of those early-mid years makes it hard for me to say that any player from the Doug Wilson era actually sucked.
With the influx of Europeans, and the rule-changes favoring skill, recent expansion teams, while bad, were never as abysmal as those early Sharks and Senators teams.
Teemu Selanne (man, you get one one hundredth less sunshine up here compared to SoCal, and your production halves?!)
He had a bum knee in his San Jose/Colorado years and couldn’t be assed to get the surgery to fix it until the lockout.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
The pinnacle of the San Jose Mt. Suckmore...
Would be Alexi Semenov….
Playing as a forward…
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 5:59 PM PDT via mobile reply actions
For me it has to do with guys who play for extended periods of time and get significant ice time that are embarrassing to watch and hurt the team. Semenov absolutely fits those criteria, no matter what position. I’ll bet that guy is slow and lumbering just WATCHING hockey.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
The glove of doom will forever make my spleen hurt…
Also…. my iPhone spell check wants to change “Semenov” to “demonic”… HA!
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 7:42 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
And if you cry like a little girl with a skinned knee cause your wife won’t let you play hockey anymore….. You go to the top of the mountain.
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 7:48 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
I know he's a coach but could George Kingston get put up there?
Or were those two loss-filled early seasons more the fault of turrible players?
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 3, 2010 9:08 PM PDT up reply actions
Those first two seasons
were the result of the NHL’s expansion draft rules being heavily stacked against said expansion teams, the Sharks sharing their expansion draft with the Minnesota North Stars, and Chuck Grillo’s incompetence.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
I’m so proud. I just saw this over on In Lou We Trust, the Devil’s blog.
Seventh, keeping it related to posts at Battle of California, Rudy Kelly and Megalodon make a bad decision and watched The Love Guru. Warning: Post is filled with profanity, dirty & inappropriate jokes & references, and a movie where the Toronto Maple Leafs won the Stanley Cup. Not a link for the kids or fans of the actual movie as Rudy and Meg tear it apart.
That almost makes watching that movie worth it.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
I really like the part in the movie where Rob Blake takes a face-off……!?
by skilletboy on Aug 3, 2010 7:44 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Yeah, there were a bunch of hockey mistakes in the film (the whole finals schedule is screwed up and makes no sense) but when there are so many other things wrong with the movie, it hardly matters.
I'm just saying: I'm pretty sure this means deaf people are devil worshipers.
Battle of California
Meg – can you and RK do me a favor and put The Chiefs on your list of hockey movies to review this summer? I swear to Granato that you & Rudy both will LOVE this documentary!
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 8:50 PM PDT up reply actions
I saw that on the back cover of “She’s Out of My League” they play hockey in the guy’s basement or something and i bet that movie sucks, so watch it for me.
I watched that movie thinking it was a hockey movie, and in the only hockey scene the girl says the Pens are at their own blue line because they need to “kill a powerplay”. Who kills a powerplay?
What would we have to do to get Crosby on the Leafs...?
Wishful thinking never ends in Leaf Nation. For now, Go Leafs! (and Pens!)
Warning: Post is filled with profanity, dirty & inappropriate jokes & references,
I know…this makes it all worth it!
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 3, 2010 8:23 PM PDT up reply actions
inappropriate jokes & references,
i take offense…i believe they are very appropriate
"You must be the pendejos I keep hearing about!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Aug 4, 2010 5:16 AM PDT up reply actions
I’m a Leafs fan, and even I hated that movie.
that could be as close as they get to a Cup win, and I’ll still hate that movie.
I have nothing interesting to say.
by blurr1974 on Aug 4, 2010 7:34 AM PDT up reply actions
Kovalchuk, Heatley, Kelly Buchburger and…uh….Coke?
Drew Remenda praises everything. Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 4, 2010 10:32 AM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
They must have a valuable long-time shovel girl, I’d think.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I already mentioned Heatley.
Drew Remenda praises everything. Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Leafs' Mt. Suckmore
1. JFJ
2. Andrew Raycroft
3. Vesa Toskala
4. I could think of so many people to put in here.. Wade Belak? Aki Berg? Lee Stempniak? Boyd Devereaux? John Pohl? Let’s just go with JFJ.
What would we have to do to get Crosby on the Leafs...?
Wishful thinking never ends in Leaf Nation. For now, Go Leafs! (and Pens!)
Belak...?
WTF?
I have nothing interesting to say.
by blurr1974 on Aug 4, 2010 7:33 AM PDT up reply actions
Did nothing worth mentioning. Except beating up Cam Janssen.
What would we have to do to get Crosby on the Leafs...?
Wishful thinking never ends in Leaf Nation. For now, Go Leafs! (and Pens!)
Great off ice personality, not horrible defensively, fantastic enforcer. Belak should by no means be on Suckmore.
That’s funny – I’m pretty sure JFJ is now working in the Sharks organization.
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 4, 2010 8:35 AM PDT up reply actions
F**K
And he’s a SCOUT! uh oh…
Waiting for the cup in San Jose
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'd be glad to make an exception-Groucho Marx
by sanjosesharksfan on Aug 9, 2010 8:39 PM PDT up reply actions
Stars' Mt. Suckmore
Avery
Turgeon
Brett Hull the GM
Marc Crawford
Here's to all us girls who love hockey...and the men who play it.
by Brad_Richards_Rocks on Aug 4, 2010 7:43 AM PDT reply actions
Rangers Mt. Suckmore
The Rangers Mt. Suckmore is too easy and too small.
Glen “Flavor” Sather
Derek Boogaard (sorry, Boogey, I’m not giving you the benefit of the doubt)
Wade Redden
Mark Messier (he knows what he did)
Bettman's Nightmare: Until Recently, the Biggest C**block in the NHL
http://bettmansnightmare.blogspot.com/
by Bettman's Nightmare on Aug 4, 2010 9:06 AM PDT reply actions
That's one of the scariest things I've ever seen
What would we have to do to get Crosby on the Leafs...?
Wishful thinking never ends in Leaf Nation. For now, Go Leafs! (and Pens!)
Jeff Friesen
Doesn’t Freeze get on Mt. Suckmore for only having one really good year and then spending the rest of the time teasing fans with his great speed and hands of stone?
Managing editor of From The Rink
www.fromtherink.com
Oh yeah, now that Jamal Mayers is on the Sharks, we lead the league in eyebrows!
Drew Remenda praises everything. Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
If the Sharks can trade for Kaberle
then this can be performed in a trio with Marleau. It’d be all kinds of awesome.
"Playing Detroit in the playoffs is like paying your taxes. You either pay now or pay later." - Suisun Dan
My Twitter
If the Sharks get Kaberle, I hope it costs them at least Setoguchi or Pavelski. Quite frankly, they have the best Top 6 in the league, and I’d rather see them improve their defense if it costs them offense.
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Dream scenario for Sharks fans is Clowe to be that top 6 traded.
If we trade a top 6, at least. He seems very similar to a prototypical Brian Burke player. A big, physical guy with some skill. I think Pavs and Seto would be off the table. They should be, at least.
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 4, 2010 9:15 PM PDT up reply actions
Yeah, I know.
The dream scenario is that they sign Willie Mithchell, and then acquire a puck mover.
Don't let the name deceive you, I'm not just a Sharks fan but a Lakers, 49ers, Angels, Giants (and to a lesser extent) Capitals, and Titans fan.
by SharksFanEst.1994 on Aug 5, 2010 4:12 PM PDT up reply actions
AND TRADE HUSKINS AND WALLIN
I can dream, can’t I?
Waiting for the cup in San Jose
I never forget a face, but in your case, I'd be glad to make an exception-Groucho Marx
by sanjosesharksfan on Aug 10, 2010 11:37 AM PDT up reply actions
So, I'm a little late with this, but my Mt. Suckmore
1. Brian Heyward – he had a 5.55 GAA with us on year. FIVE POINT FIFTY FIVE. That sucks.
2. Lukas Kaspar – Laziest player ever. Also, would pout if he wasn’t on the top line. Which he never was, because he was so lazy.
3. Claude Lemieux – The only good thing about him was him pissing off all the Red Wings fans. Actually, I’m not sure if he really does deserve to be here.
4. Alexei Semenov – Dude can’t even get a fighting major. That’s pathetic.
American Heroes: Joe Pavelski, Buster Posey, David Backes
Proud member of the "Doug Wilson for Governor" Club
Fools and Sages
I’ve been thinking way too much about this. I’ve seen a lot of suck.
1. Viktor Kozlov- We kept waiting, and waiting…
2. Jim Kite- Deaf, slow and terrible. That about covers it.
3. Mark Bell- Blame the DUI if you wish, but he would have sucked just as bad had he huffed key board cleaner and cruised around town on a big wheel.
4. I can’t remember his name- Seriously I can’t, and this is a good thing. He was the Ginger color guy on TV after Pete “Sweaty” Stemkowski was let go. If I recall, he had never played hockey on any organized level but yet managed to get a job as the color man for the Sharks. Jumping Jesus he was terrible.
My Mount Suckmore for the Sharks
1) Steve Bernier – Lazy! Perhaps poor drafting, and setting our expectations too high.
Looking at the players that were picked after him, he definitely did not live up to his draft position.
2) Mark Bell – Another guy cast in the same mold as Bernier – Rugged, with a scoring touch. Didn’t live up to expectations.
3) Lukas Kaspar – Let’s just say he’s not a character guy.
4) Pick any goalie not named Nabby, Irbe or Boucher. Toskala had some good moments but the wind up on his glove hand was worthy of it’s own spot on Mount Suckmore. Christ we’ve had some shit between the pipes.
Ah, Bell and Bernier. Those are good choices.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Re-posted from Fear the Fin - My Mount SuckMore for the Sharks
1. Eddie Frickin’ Belfour – On the bright side, the “Ed-die” chant was always fun
2. Pat Falloon – AKA Fat Balloon – You realize, of course, that he was the 2nd pick in the frickin’ entire NHL draft, right? And he scored just a couple more goals than I did… and I can’t even skate…
3.Mike Rathje – Seriously, if you’re 6’6", you’re supposed to be a big, physical defenseman, and this guy was the biggest pussy I’ve ever seen on the ice. If you put Scott Nichol’s attitude and passion into Mike Rathje’s body, you’d have an all-star. If you do it the other way around, you get Richard Simmonds.
4. Alexei Semenov – Hook, grab, knock puck into own net, followed by skating slowly behind your man while he scores the game winner. Nice career, dickhead.
"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means" - Inigo Montoya
And I still contend:
LEAVE MIKE RATHJE ALONE! He never hurt anybody – especially not players on the opposing team.
The rest are good though.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
51 | 29 | 16 | 6 | 64 |
|
Los Angeles
|
54 | 26 | 18 | 10 | 62 |
|
Phoenix
|
54 | 25 | 21 | 8 | 58 |
|
Dallas
|
52 | 27 | 23 | 2 | 56 |
|
Anaheim
|
53 | 21 | 24 | 8 | 50 |
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