I'm too lazy to color today.
by Earl Sleek on Aug 31, 2010 11:23 AM PDT
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PrintBelieve it or not, this isn't an entry into the "Iron Blogger" contest -- I had actually drawn this up before last weekend, but didn't scan it in until today. Should help pass the time until Rudy and Meg post their Sci Fi-themed submissions tomorrow.
Don't worry -- it's still going to work out somehow.
Go Ducks.
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Nice….
But the Sharks are evil. The Kings and Ducks need to… “combine forces”
Denis Gauthier sucks at hockey... and life.
Sharks aren’t evil! Where did you hear such nonsense?!?
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
tee-hee
"I dropped a hundred fools like you!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 1, 2010 5:13 AM PDT up reply actions
Every day when I need a laugh I click on the nifty little “cartoons” tag and shit myself silly. Great work again Sleek.
"San Jose is where I want to be at the end of the day, and there's an opportunity now to make it there. It is where my heart is." - Jamie McGinn, 2/22/10
Fear The Fin: Where Selling Your Soul Is The Likely Solution
BTW, when it comes to tomorrow’s judgment. you all are panelists. Judge based on originality, highlighting the theme ingredient, plating, and taste (or whatever you want).
But I don’t think we’re going to throw a poll up to decide who wins — tomorrow we’ll pick a winner based on which post gets the most “recs”. It’s the laziest tallying method we have available, and plus it might show some people that feature for the first time.
Two people have already "rec"d this post — keep that skill handy for tomorrow’s Iron Blogger judgment.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Hee hee. Duck-tron is cute…but dang that fire-breathing King Shark is badass. I imagine he’s the spawn of an unholy lab collaboration between Mad Scientists Lombardi and Wilson, frustrated by their individual efforts to create a complete offense and defense.
RAAAAAR (awkward smile) RAAAAAAAAAAAAR!
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Oh, by the way, Ducks fans. SB Nation is doing some expansion exercise where Gabe Desjardins and James Mirtle are pretending to do an expansion draft. They are having the 30 team sites create “protected lists” of players who they don’t want taken, but there’s all sorts of rules about who needs protection and what you need to leave exposed — it’s pretty complicated.
Arthur from Anaheim Calling wisely called “not it” for this exercise, so I had to create Anaheim’s list. In theory, I was supposed to promote this to the blog and we were supposed to debate it, but it was complex enough (and fake enough) that I didn’t think it was really worth arguing over.
Just so I have it on record somewhere, here’s Anaheim’s protected list, and who’s left exposed. Just pretend that we argued and came to a consensus:
1 goalie: Jonas Hiller
5 defensemen: Lubo Visnovsky, Toni Lydman, Andy Sutton, Brendan Mikkelson, Sheldon Brookbank
9 forwards: Ryan Getzlaf, Corey Perry, Bobby Ryan, Teemu Selanne, Saku Koivu, Kyle Chipchura, George Parros, Matt Beleskey, Joffrey Lupul
Assumed protected (less than 50 games): Danny Syvret, Luca Sbisa, Troy Bodie, Dan Sexton, Nick Bonino, Cam Fowler
Exposed: Curtis McElhinney, Brett Festerling, Jason Blake, Todd Marchant, Aaron Voros, Ryan Carter
You have to leave at least 1 G, 1 D, and 2 F exposed that meet certain requirements, and… whatever. It’s done. Debate away — I doubt anybody gets snatched from this set; Sharks I hear are leaving Niittymaki exposed. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
two players will be taken from each team, no matter how bad they are.
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
ha ha! love the way you cheat sometimes … like a true Duck … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
Hey now — it was cheating when Arthur opted out of the exercise. They’re lucky I did it at all.
BTW, I guess I have some time — somebody could talk me into switching Marchant and Lupul without too much effort. Just make sure to stress Timmy Marchant’s importance in the locker room.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I’m trying to convince the sabres blogger to claim that Andrej Sekera is a forward. (he played forward… 4 times last year!)
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
Oh, if there’s a loophole, exploit the fuck out of it. Except Kovalchuk, of course.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
BTW, I guess I have some time — somebody could talk me into switching Marchant and Lupul without too much effort. Just make sure to stress Timmy Marchant’s importance in the locker room.
If you save Lupul, you’re really only saving 8 people…what a waste, right? And…Timmy, he already hangs out in the locker room more than Lupul – just another plus!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Eh, I guess I’m just stuck on this crappy optimism. Plus there’s that whole bikini thing at AC — can’t kill that just yet. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I thought that might come into play…but I thought it doesn’t matter where he scores the goals? just that he does score (on the ice of course, I’m sure he’s been practicing his scoring for quite a few months years now…)? I guess I could be wrong.
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
Well, it’s more that I’m hoping she lowers the bar to like 20 goals next season.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
LOL!!!!!! – I see you’re still holding onto that positivity! It’s why we love you, Sleek!
GO DUCKS!!!
DUCKSandPUCKS.com
SKeleven on Twitter
it was cheating when Arthur opted out of the exercise
GASP. Haha. You’re the senior-most Ducks blogger. I’m surprised they don’t assume you’re the point man on these things anyways :)
Plus, I followed what I understand to be conventional ‘not it’ rules, touched my cyber nose and everything. Feel free to assume I’m on the hook for the next ridiculous network exercise.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 31, 2010 1:11 PM PDT up reply actions
Actually, the exercise turned out kind of easy, especially once they added that “you don’t have to protect anyone with less than 50 games of NHL experience” rule.
It’s an extremely fortuitous number for the Ducks, as I think that cleared a lot of people by a narrow margin. I don’t remember if this includes playoffs, but I wrote down the lucky career GP for a few Ducks who just missed the cut:
Syvret — 49 games (whew!)
Bodie — 48 games (whew!)
Sbisa — 47 games (whew!)
Sexton — 41 games (whew!)
Had those guys been up for grabs, things would have been more complicated for sure.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I think in the real expansion draft it was players that had been in the AHL/NHL for less than two years were exempt, which would have made it way more fun.
It hurt the Sabres in the opposite way because the very replacable McCormick only played 58 games over the last two years so they can’t leave him exposed. (as we only have 11 forwards that aren’t exempt.)
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
This is mainly because i would want to pillage Grand Rapids and Hershey. (though Grand Rapids less so now that they don’t have Howard hiding there anymore)
On the Mike Weber bandwagon.
Everything wrong with the Sabres is Drew Stafford's fault.
Woo hoo! The Ducks now have an AHL team to pillage!
I guess Jason Jaffray might get exposed? :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I didn’t think it was going to be time consuming as much as I’m just really really lazy. It was clearly a ‘not it’ situation.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 31, 2010 2:29 PM PDT up reply actions
What? No way — I bailed you out this time, buddy, but whenever there’s a 30 blog exercise, I’m already assuming I’m excused.
Just you wait — they’ll be asking for your picks soon.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I’ll have to remember to throw out the word “cheat and Ducks” around more often just to see you and Arthur toss exercises back and forth … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
That’s what I mean. It’s a “my laziness versus your laziness situation.” There can be only one, Highlander. So I had to save myself. I’ll take the next one as I said I would
Feel free to assume I’m on the hook for the next ridiculous network exercise.But if it’s equally ridiculous, I plan to protest. I don’t know what they expect from us. If I don’t opt out, you’ll publicize it in a comment; neither of us seems very keen on free content.
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 31, 2010 3:27 PM PDT up reply actions
but it’s for the greater good … they need to drive traffic to the main sbn sites somehow I imagine … and this is how … I know I rarely check them out unless they are doing something like this … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
this was actually a grassroots movement of sorts. It just happened that it was decided by a small group, giving Earl and I the freedom to act put upon. :)
by Arthur from Anaheim Calling on Aug 31, 2010 6:05 PM PDT up reply actions
parros rocks
niittymäki is clearly too good for them
Мы в любовь играли,
И как кровь из вены капает слеза.
Remember kids it's down the road not across the street
parros rocks
Oh, I had to protect Parros — we can’t lose that plastic moustache revenue.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
I need to buy another one…my grandmas dog chewed up my other one
"I dropped a hundred fools like you!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 1, 2010 5:18 AM PDT up reply actions
Oh and love the cartoon … clearly shows the Sharks have dominated over the Kings and took their crown and now going after the Ducks … :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
But in the next panel Ducktron pulls out a calendar and shows the King Shark that it’s April. Oh no!
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
by Earl Sleek on Aug 31, 2010 1:06 PM PDT up reply actions 1 recs
That only happened once, though — doesn’t have the annual charm of the Shark event.
And besides, I’m a bit encouraged by something I wrote for another blog’s upcoming Ducks preview — I’ll just pre-steal it here.
1. Tell us why your team will be better this season than they were last.
For one reason, no J.S. Giguere in the net. Giguere is an Anaheim legend, but he certainly cost the Ducks last year — he didn’t pick up a win until the week of Thanksgiving and struggled throughout the early season with a 3.14 goals-against average and a .900 save percentage. Jonas Hiller had a 2.73 GAA and a .918 sv%, and Curtis McElhinney had a 2.76 GAA and a .917 sv%, for comparison — Giguere was noticeably worse. In fact, McElhinney appeared in 10 games in a Ducks uniform and picked up 5 wins; Giguere appeared in 20 games for the Ducks and picked up only 4.
So happy to be out of that contract.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Recycle the jokes, recycle the responses. ;)
That was a good move for both teams. You guys get out of the mondo contract, and any non-Toskalan goaltending is as welcome in Toronto as manna from heaven. Everybody’s happy.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Oh, don’t pretend that Kings fans are so original simply because they only started trash-talking in earnest within the last 12 months. :)
Someday, you might recycle, too.
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
On the job training! Score.
The Kings’ fanbase is so manic-depressive, our true expertise is ripping our own team apart.
In Dinglebarn We Trust
Earl,
When planning the timing and deadlines of today’s “Iron Blogger” contest, did you take into account the fact that Justin Bieber guest stars on tonight’s episode of Shaq Vs.? It’s not fair for you to put both Rudy and Meg under such duress when their hearts and minds will clearly be focused on what JBiebz plans to unleash on Bieb Nation this evening!
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 31, 2010 1:26 PM PDT reply actions
.
I hear it’s pretty crazy
In Lou We Trust: Continuing a saga no one really cares about
If the quality of my posts begin to get better, it's because i'm doing steroids.
by Kevin Sellathamby on Aug 31, 2010 1:48 PM PDT up reply actions
Uh, we are now incorporating “Top Chef” antics into this contest — that’s the surprise twist. :)
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
what no hells kitchen?
PISS OFF!!!
"I dropped a hundred fools like you!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 1, 2010 5:20 AM PDT up reply actions
Well shit Earl, now that you’ve posted this I’ll have to completely re-do my article or people will think I stole it from you.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
no way would you make the Sharks evil tho :)
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin
Anything fighting ducks is automatically the hero.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 31, 2010 3:11 PM PDT up reply actions 3 recs
Kinda like Obi-Shark Kenobi and Duck Vader.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
and AnaKing Skywalker?
The Spirit of MeatTrain'10!
by DodgerBlueBalls on Aug 31, 2010 8:41 PM PDT up reply actions
Another “Top Chef” inspired twist!
Now all your breakfast dishes must become soups!
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
Noooooooo!
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Writing this damn story on a netbook is a pain in the ass. It just tried to publish it when I only meant to save a really early rough draft, so hopefully I managed to delete it before anyone got a chance to read it.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Not so much.
I was going to applaud your use of Ender’s Game, but then it went away.
"Democracy is two wolves and a lamb voting on what's for dinner.
Liberty is well armed lamb contesting the vote." - Benjamin Franklin
I know my audience, and I will give it what it wants. Just like on the Japanese version of Iron Chef, you can never go pouring squid ink all over something.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
You’d like that book, Rudy. There’s a scene where two underage boys strip naked and fight each other in the bathroom.
Rice is great when you're hungry and you want 2000 of something.
Oh, he’s read THAT part.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
Consider it an appetizer, I guess.
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
by Megalodon on Aug 31, 2010 6:02 PM PDT via mobile up reply actions
Tourists quit NC islands as Earl nears East Coast
your such an asshole earl
"I dropped a hundred fools like you!"
-John Marston-
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Sep 1, 2010 6:36 AM PDT reply actions
Bwa ha ha ha! Take that, Hurricanes!
"Ridin’ The Meat Train & Dreaming of Jack’s Johnson All Summer Long!"
http://www.battleofcali.com/
The irony!
Drew Remenda would praise a bottle of child poison if it had a picture of Darryl Sutter on it.
Battle of California
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Pacific Standings
| GP | W | L | OTL | PT | |
|---|---|---|---|---|---|
San Jose
|
49 | 29 | 14 | 6 | 64 |
|
Los Angeles
|
52 | 25 | 17 | 10 | 60 |
|
Dallas
|
50 | 26 | 22 | 2 | 54 |
|
Phoenix
|
51 | 22 | 21 | 8 | 52 |
|
Anaheim
|
51 | 19 | 24 | 8 | 46 |
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