Anaheim-2011

knocking

Perry: Come in!

Getzlaf: Trouble at the Arena.

Perry: Oh No!  What sort of trouble?

Getzlaf: OldJasonBlakeblewoutahipandlostusthegame.

douchebag#1: What?

douchebag#2:Isaidoldjasonblakeblewoutahipandlostusthegame!

Cherry: I'm sorry, I can't understand what you are saying.

Getzlaugh: sigh- I said, old Jason Blake blew out his hip and lost us the game!

retard: Well what does that mean?

another retard: I don't know!  Mr. Neidymayer just told me to come in her and say that Blake blew out a hip, turned over the puck, and Heatley scored!  I didn't expect to encounter the HTML Line!

Doors burst open! 3 men in blue capes and hats jump in!

Thornton:NOBODY EXPECTS THE HTML LINE!!!  Our chief weapon is surprise, surprise and fear-Our two weapons are surprise and fear and ruthless efficiency-Our three weapons are suprise, fear, ruthless efficiency and an almost fanatical devotion to the Sharks-Our 4 weapons.... Amongst our weapons...Amongst our weaponry are fear su-I'll come in again.

Getzlaughingstock: I didn't expect to encounter the HTML line today.

Doors burst open again!!!

Mammoth guy:NO ONE EXPECTS THE HTML LINE!!!!!  Amongst our diverse weaponry-Yes!  Amongst are diverse weaponry we have such elements as fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and an almost fanatical devotion to the Sharks, and nice blue uniforms-Damn!....Alright, you'll have to say it.

Marleau: Wh-What?!

Jumbo Joe: You'll have to say the part about our diverse weaponry.*

Capt. Awkward: I-I can't do that.

Joe shoves him in front

Marleau: Um, um nobody..uh nobody

Joe: (whispers) expects.

Marleau:Expects, Nobody expect the, uh HTML

Thornton:Line.

Marleau: Line..uh... Nobody expects the HTML line!  In fact those that do-

Joe: Are chief weapons are

Awkward: Are chief weapons are uh..um...uh.

Joe: Surprise

Marleau: Are um surprise-

Joe: STOP!!! Stop there! whew Are chief weapons are surprise blah blah blah!  Heater, read the charges.

Heatley: You, are hereby charged that on diverse nights you committed douchebaggery against the NHL. 

Joe: WELL!!! How do you plead?

Perry: Well, innocent and girly of course.

Joe: HA!!!  HA HA!!!  HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!

Diabolical Laughter

Joe: We'll soon (wildly flailing arms) change that!!!

Diabolical skills and acting

Joe: Now, fearsupriseruthless-Ugh (smacks himself)

Now assistant captain, the rack!!!

Marleau: (Caught off guard, looks wildly for rack in his cape, reveals panties.  Gives Joe the rack)

Joe:(facepalms) You?!......Right.....Tie her down.

Heatley and Marleau proceed to vigoursly gleefully and laughing diabolically tie Perry to the rack while Joe looks on embarrassed and humiliated.

Joe: Right.....sigh..... How do you plead?

Cory:Innocent!

Joe: HA!!!  Right!  Assistant!  Give the rack-oh dear....... Give the rack.... A turn.

Marleau: I uh-

Joe: I no you can't, I just wanted to ignore your Errorhoffian mistake.

Marleau: I'm so sorry..... Shall I...uh..

Joe: Oh just pretend for godsakes!

Marleau: Yes......(turns the imaginary crank while laughing in an awkwardly diabolical way)

Joe: Oh god.....

doorbell rings

Getzlaff: I'll get that, probably the blow up doll I ordered.

end scene

Part 2 will come later

*Yes ladies, the HTML Line has many diverse weapons