Spade Sharks vs Ducks Preview: a sit down with Niles and Martin Crane

I'm a big "frasier" fan as some of you know...and watching a movie with david hyde pierce where he had conversations with imaginary people last gave me this idea...I sat down with Niles and Martin Crane and talked about the upcoming game ducks against the sharks..them being non-hockey fans I had to get them up to speed on the rules and such...couldn't get them to understand offsides or icing..but I had fun

In case your not familiar with Frasier cuz you suck...let me introduce Martin and Niles Crane


Niles is a eccentric clean freak, opera loving, expensive suit wearing, witty, Sherry loving psychologist..(see him pouring it)

  250px-martin_crane_medium I

Martin is your typical football loving, beer drinking blunt ex-cop older dad..who outshines for the most part his smarter harvard educated children with common sense



Spade: All right guys..after going 1-1 in Scandinavia this past weekend the ducks take on the the sharks of san jose

Niles: Oh tht reminds me of the time I received a Dala Horse and they squeezed us in for a salt glow after our Swedish massage...wait why is a US hockey team playing in Europe?

Martin: woo ho!! they see any vikings?

Spade: cuz niles the NHL wanted Teemu Selanne to put off retirement or they hate the ducks or somthing and martin..well probally not...speaking of disappointing and vikings never watch Vahella rising or Thor or shit the minnesota vikings for that matter

Niles: Oh whos Teemu?...sorta roles off the tounge I like it!

Martin: Teemu? that some animal?

Spade: I'd call him our franchise player and face of the ducks..hes finnish and is fuckin awesome and almost as ancient as marty (snicker)...hes important to remember guys

Niles: Sherry anyone?

Spade: Don't mind if I do (takes sip...too sweet but I look cool drinking it fuck it..why do niles and frasier drink this stuff isnt it mostly for cooking? talking to myself too much)

Martin: a cold valentines for me (shakes head at Niles and Spade)

Spade: a quick run thru of the ducks this year..our top line can be as dominate as say marty the detroit lions D-line this year or the 3 tenors I guess for you Niles?...but as stupid as the raiders taking penalties or as stupid as your brother niles.they compose of Getzlaf-Perry and Ryan. they haven't really got it going this season quite yet

the 2nd line consists of some old foggies


Spade:who of all the lines have been really slow out of the gate. Our 3rd line some youngsters who look very promising...and were really good in the last game. looking for them to continue there promise..they consist of Andrew Gordon, Andrew cogaliano and Devante-smith-pelly

Martin & Niles: Duvv what? smith huh?

Spade: trust me thats a real name and player..just because you didn't have many minorities on your show world doesnt mean they dont exist...(I can't remember one hispanic guy ever? why do I love this show again?)

our 4th line is what they call an energy line...we have a regal gentlemen you would appreciate Niles whos from Princeton

Niles: Pssst if u can't get into haawwwwvard i guess princeton would suffice

Martin: Sounds like a chump

Spade: actually no he's quite the pugilist! with a great rollie fingers type mustache...anyways that line comes in andbangs people around shakes things up

Martin: Ok I like that line..

Spade: now were playing the sharks who came off a victory against..well a suspect team the coyotes..Mike Smith is the starting goalie for christ's sake!!...the coyotes are like the colts right now you really act like your winning the stanley cup or superbowl cuz you beat Curtis Painter?

Niles: Thats real cheeky of the sharks no?

Martin:Man do the colts suck..but so do my seahawks..who the hell thought tavaris jackson was a good idea?

Spade: they did score with all 4 lines and on the Power play..somthing we havent done..still they have a german in net and that can't be good

Niles: Mehr Wein für mich

Martin: shut it Niles this america

Spade: its gonna be a tall task as the sharks have lots of depth..the key to stopping the sharks top line has always been for the ducks at least not giving jo thorton any space to make plays..I think you live and die with making pavelski and marleau (who has the flu) playmakers and joe a scorer..which he hates more than you hate cheap california wine niles or in your case marty natural lite

Martin & Niles: (both show caca faces)

Niles: I hope you're just yanking my dare you even suggest even as a jibe!

Spade: pavelski is new to the top line hes quick yet smaller compared to the other 5 forwards who will be on the ice..and is gonna be a handful for our slow top line forwards who Imsure will be matched against...with carlye having the last sure the lines will be matched agaisnt there respective lines.

Martin: well clobbering and punishing this little punk every chance they get should be a top priority as they wont be able to keep up with him..wear him down like a QB

Niles: and offense is always the best defense...well in squash but Im sure it applies to hockey as well..I wonder if my crep pants are done?

Spade: excellent points guys..our top line was able to control play in the offensive zone for long periods of time in the last 2 games..and will need to continue..but they need to capitalize this time..they just gotta be weary of the quick transition of pavelski and marleau...Id assume you want vishnosky or fowler back on D at all times against their top line to keep up with this scenario

the 2nd line match up is defiantly the most cause for concern..our old.errr...experienced veteran line vs..a potent legit 2nd line containing a speedy havlat (is he playing?) and clowe among others..our 2nd line is not built for sustained pressure..but quick strikes...beachimin i believe will be the key to stopping the guy I worry about most Clowe..frankie is gonna have to prevent clowe from creating space and making plays

to me the other lines are a wash....but the most important thing for the ducks for this game and is too niles point earlier...keep the pressure on..use the speed the ducks have on the 2nd and 3rd lines to keep the sharks on there heels as we did the rangers...both games in europe we outshot the opponent andy ou have to believe its from the new found speed we have in our lineup..keep it up..the PP also has to come thru....its look dangerous and I think just unlucky more than over passing...the Defense also needs to help out hiller and clear the rebounds as hiller is giving some up lately..a big key to the game

final words guys?

Martin: punch them in the mouth ducks

Niles: We shall dine on la crème de requin

Spade & Martin: Shut it Niles!

This FanPost was posted by a fan, and it probably sucks and is dumb.

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