Ducks Gameday -- Sorry, Hiller. It's the only way.
Vancouver Canucks (8-7-1) at Anaheim Ducks (5-7-3), 7:30 pm
Nucks Misconduct and Anaheim Calling -- Happy Linksgiving!
The Ducks are playing like a bunch of idiots, kind of like they did for a lot of last year, but fret not, Ducks fans! I've devised a strategy out of this mess, I think, but it's not going to be pretty.
The proposed solution (since the obvious options aren't happening; Carlyle is still coach, Getzlaf is still captain): Jonas Hiller is going to have to fake a recurrence of his vertigo symptoms and allow a lesser goaltender to become the #1 netminder. That really seems the only way that Anaheim skaters will wake up and start playing something that resembles competent hockey.
Yeah, it sucks -- Hiller has worked his ass off this summer to get back to playability, but the sad reality is whenever these Ducks feel they have a capable netminder, they stop playing and force that goalie to win the game on his own. No offense to speak of, countless giveaways, tons of odd-man-rushes against, basically the hockey equivalent of constantly saying "Fuck you, Hiller." It's not the kind of shit they'd pull on a Ray Emery or a Dan Ellis, though -- we saw that last year. In front of lesser goaltenders, the Ducks look kind of like an NHL team. One might wish that they could somehow do this FOR Hiller, but fuck that guy, I guess.
So Jonas, go spin some circles around a baseball bat a couple dozen times then go see that team doctor. Then take a long break until the Ducks remember that they need you later in the season.
* * *
Or maybe this might work instead?

Hopefully Bird Jesus is as generous as Bear Jesus was. :)
I'm watching tonight's game DVR-delayed to give Bird Jesus an extra hour or two to work his magic, so I won't be around for game comments. Have fun without me!
Prediction: Today's 11-11-11? I guess that means that Saku Koivu scores a hat trick. Or gets a triple-minor. Tune in tonight and find out!
Go Ducks.
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Also, I guess we’ll have to come up with a nickname soon for Ben Maxwell? Whoever that is.
www.battleofcali.com
Maxwell House coffee
Is the easy path to take here…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 11:20 AM PST up reply actions
“Silver Hammer” if he’s a good checker.
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 11:21 AM PST up reply actions 1 recs
True, I was thinking “Maxwell Smart” was the too-obvious-one-to-use.
Both of those are off the table! :)
www.battleofcali.com
yeah, me too, like a Koivu hat trick. :)
on the other hand, this team has scored less than 3 goals in 10 of 15 games, so I don’t have a lot of hope.
It’d take a Bird Jesus miracle.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Nov 11, 2011 11:36 AM PST via mobile up reply actions
You should trade Hiller to Columbus (or Toronto) for some awesome draft picks or something.
Or, you know, just murder Ryan Getzlaf.
I’m sketchy about trading with Toronto. For some reason I think it’s sort of an automatic that Joffrey Lupul would get thrown into a deal, just because that’s his career story.
www.battleofcali.com
Columbus’ first round pick is a guaranteed winner; they’re on pace to beat the Sharks’ record for fewest wins in a season (11)
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 11:37 AM PST up reply actions
I’d be kinda sad to see it, though. I like holding records.
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 11:39 AM PST up reply actions
Don’t worry you’ll be keeping that one.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 11:45 AM PST up reply actions
Columbus’ first round pick is a guaranteed winner; they’re on pace to beat the Sharks’ record for fewest wins in a season (11)
Dont mean to burst your bubble but the Sens only had 10 wins that season. And the caps had 8 in the inaugural season.
"Its not so much me as it is Roenick, hes good" - Vince Vaughn
"Its not so much Kontos as it is me, I'm good." - Angryjay93
At least they still have the consecutive losses one though…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 11:50 AM PST up reply actions
You win by virtue of having done it most recently…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 11:54 AM PST up reply actions
I was only a little bit wrong
Most losses: 71, by 1992–93 San Jose Sharks
Fewest ties: 2, by 1992–93 San Jose Sharks
So I guess that makes it only 9 wins that year.
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 11:55 AM PST up reply actions
That just awful…
thanks, now i feel better.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 12:02 PM PST up reply actions
84 games were played that season, 11-71-2
"Its not so much me as it is Roenick, hes good" - Vince Vaughn
"Its not so much Kontos as it is me, I'm good." - Angryjay93
If you were a season ticket holder that year, how in the world do you muster the courage to go out to see home game #34? I wonder if they broke any liquor sales records that year.
by GordonBombay on Nov 11, 2011 4:27 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
84 games were played that season
whoa really? my whole world is shaken
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 6:38 PM PST up reply actions
why set such low expectations for Koivu?
calling an Ovechtrick, or he could set a new record for PIMs (current in 67 i think) instead of just getting a measly triple minor.
You wanna tell me that to mah face?!
YET ANOTHER Detroit Red Wings blog.
by uvgt2bkdnme on Nov 11, 2011 11:36 AM PST via iPhone app reply actions
I feel sad now. I noticed that Giguere won last night….Then decided I wanted to know how he was doing this year. Saw it was better than Hiller so far, then noticed his 2003 playoff numbers…sigh.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
I don’t think that’s fair, there’s probably not a goaltender in the NHL that would be able to put up good numbers behind the ducks, the way they’ve been playing the last ten games.
go back to last year with the defense. It has been spotty and leaving the goalie one his own.
Maybe Hiller just needs to put some pictures of our defensers in front of him. These pictures might actually block some shots.
Let's go Ducks.
“We should’ve got the live chicken.”
Let's go Ducks.
by deb d on Nov 11, 2011 11:41 AM PST reply actions 2 recs
for those who don’t recognize that quote it is from the mvoie Major League. If you havwen’t seen it, WTF, how can you not have seen it, you are dead to me!!!!
Let's go Ducks.
I don't know what this "baseball" thing is some of you persist in bringing up.
"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter
Baseball is that thing that makes it really hard to convince the bartender to put on the hockey game in October.
by GordonBombay on Nov 11, 2011 4:35 PM PST via mobile up reply actions 1 recs
i say fuck you jobo i do it myself!
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:39 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
11-11-11! Happy Birthday to Me!
Good luck tonight, Ducks. I’ll be celebrating my big day by throwing the biggest Ocean’s 11-11-11 party around.
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 11, 2011 12:49 PM PST reply actions 3 recs
May your balls be extra blue tonight!
by meetyourmako on Nov 11, 2011 1:35 PM PST up reply actions 1 recs
best comment
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:43 PM PST up reply actions
though id prefer he got laid..still..
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:44 PM PST up reply actions
Happy Birthday to you!
I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.
by Diamondback15 on Nov 11, 2011 2:36 PM PST up reply actions
Thanks so much everyone! I love all my BoC siblings! Even Scotty.
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 11, 2011 4:32 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
love u too bro!!
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:40 PM PST up reply actions
ha! I’m officially a sibling and not a great great great great x1000 grandmother :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
whoa u and skeleven…we should have done somthing more for u two boc commentors….
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:40 PM PST up reply actions
Happy birthday Blue!
It is that thing that I sent to you.
by whine_country on Nov 11, 2011 6:12 PM PST up reply actions
Bird Jesus didn’t save the Thrashers, what makes that duck think he’s going to save him?
Hell on Ice/In Lou We Trust/Twitter
You have life insurance? Don't they know you're in the DANGAHZONE?
by Kevin Sellathamby on Nov 11, 2011 3:30 PM PST reply actions
The Thrashers were aviatheists.
www.battleofcali.com
by Earl Sleek on Nov 11, 2011 3:54 PM PST via mobile up reply actions 3 recs
Are you saying they don’t believe in Bird Jesus? Wouldn’t that make them aaviatheists?
by GordonBombay on Nov 11, 2011 4:24 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
im protesting the ducks shitty play today by hitting the casino today and celebrating 11-11-11 and getting plastered….see u guys sunday..i think im doing the gameday for that day…probally be about my casino experience…try to get into some trouble today have a story for yall…
like fear n loathing..ill ask some chic “how much they pay you to fuck that polar bear?”see what the reaction is
Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com
by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 11, 2011 4:43 PM PST reply actions
Spirits
Maybe Beer too…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Win or lose, we always booooooooze!
Sorry. I might be acting a little too much Dean Martin before I actually get into costume tonight.
"We will come with our guns blazing, and we just blazed." - Tim Leiweke
by DodgerBlueBalls on Nov 11, 2011 6:57 PM PST via mobile up reply actions
costume for what?
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
You know, as bad as the Ducks have been, the PK has been strangely competent.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
where was this team the last 10 games???
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Don’t worry – the real Ducks will show again soon. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
A 5 min major? Make it count (multiple times), Ducks.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
At least once plz??
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Are the Ducks trying to keep their PP shooting % at 100? Geez.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
Did they take any other shots before that 3rd goal? If not, that’s one way to keep it at 100%. :D
Poor Earl and Spade — shoulda waited for this one.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
Not going to happen!
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Next game is ours.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
With Niemi as your goalie….it certainly could. Besides our top line is better than your topline…your own coach said so…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
He said that to make you feel good. :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Well, there is still plenty of time left. I’m not believing in any kind of turnaround until the final horn sounds. The Ducks were up by 3 in Washington.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
Oh well, that was a nice PK streak. It was getting to the point where I didn’t even care if the Ducks took a call.
Winner of the 2011 Battle of California!...Playoff Pool.
I’m surprised it lasted that long especially with those trashy games against Phoenix and Dallas at home
by Dixie Normus on Nov 11, 2011 9:39 PM PST up reply actions
Doesn’t sound like a home game.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Especially considering it wasn’t that long ago they won the Cup.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
We sold out tons of games after that…we just need to win another I guess…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Uh yeah, then it would be empty, no fans. That isn’t the problem.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Don’t be stupid….its not like the economy changed everything for everyone…it could have stopped less wealthy people from attending…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
Yeah … but trying to blame the economy for the Ducks lacks of fans is silly. It’s a bigger issues than the economy. You don’t see the Kings having issues and they are right next door.
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
We had more people attending the games before the economy came into play. The Kings are older than shit and have had time to build a fan base.
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 10:04 PM PST up reply actions
I think Ducks lack of attendance is pretty clearly do to 1) not winning lately and 2) the economy. Phoenix, all things considered, not that surprising. Dallas is very surprising.
He's fancy. He'll go glove.
hahaha … I can hear chants of GO CANUCKS GO and USA USA USA … :)
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
oh bad time for a penalty
GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)
Nope...
it was his passing hand…
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 10:01 PM PST up reply actions
You almost hope the Ducks lose because they won’t learn anything if they win.
He's fancy. He'll go glove.
BOOOOOOOOOO
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
He's gonna be really pissed when he finds out about Shark Jesus...
"Thank you very much fans and let’s go for the next game together!"
— Lubomir Visnovsky
I rec’d that shit.
by Steven Hida on Nov 11, 2011 10:48 PM PST up reply actions
Sedin is gonna have a bruised uterus tomorrow..
Fucking Ducks don’t like to make things easy do they? Oh well, 2 points!
what
"Playin hurt, baby that don't faze me. I don't got time for pain. The only pain I've got time for is the pain I put on fools who don't know what time it is!"
Ok Earl
You can step off the ledge now…
Carlyle stays!!!
First of all, nobody's ever thought that. Ever.
You're more than welcome to #Occupymybed

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