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Sharks Gameday: Frailty



 

San Jose's penalty kill is NOT the worst in the league. That honor belongs to Toronto, who have only killed off 73.1% of their penalties so far.

That's awful.

The Sharks aren't second-worst either. That's Columbus: 74.2%.

Horrible.

San Jose's penalty kill is the third-worst in the league. They have killed off 75.5% off their penalties.

That's not good enough. Also, it's terrible.

Looking at the full-season stats for last year, the worst penalty killing team in the league was the Colorado Avalanche. They ended the season at 76.1%, better than the Sharks' current success rate (the Avalanche are currently fourth-worst in the league in this regard, by the way). The Sharks ended last year with the twenty-fourth ranked PK unit in the league, at 79.6%.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that San Jose's penalty kill is kind of bad. It was bad last season and it's looking like it might be bad this season too. In the 09-10 season it was great: 5th best in the NHL. Now it doesn't work at all.

But why? WHY?

WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY?

After the jump, we try to find out why.

Star-divide

Why is San Jose's Penalty Kill so bad? Here a few possible explanations:

Hypothesis #1: The Sharks give up too many shots on the penalty kill.

Could the Sharks' PK strategy be allowing too many shots on net? Here is a table of the top three PKs in the NHL, the number of minutes they've spent short-handed (rounded to the nearest minute), the numbers of shots against them during that time, and the rate of shots-against per minute while on the penalty kill.

Rank Team PK Minutes PK Shots Against PK Shots Against/Minute
1 PIT 89 67 0.75
2 NJD 100 70 0.70
3 BUF 99 75 0.76

 

And here is a table of the bottom three PKs:

Rank Team PK Minutes PK Shots Against PK Shots Against/Minute
28 SJS 87 72 0.83
29 CBJ 91 82 0.90
30 TOR 105 92 0.88

 

As expected the three worst penalty kills DO allow more shots per minute than the best three. So maybe that's the problem? Maybe the Sharks need to focus on blocking more shots, or being more aggressive with their sticks, or just doing whatever the hell the Devils are doing that makes the team on the power play take fewer shots?

So is hypothesis #1 correct? Probably not, for a couple of reasons. First, here are the numbers for the fourth-best PK in the league, which belongs to the Predators:

Rank Team PK Minutes PK Shots Against PK Shots Against/Minute
4 NSH 116 110 0.95

 

What? So the fourth-best PK in the league allows more shots per minute than the worst PK in the league? That's weird. What could explain this? (I'll get to that in a minute).

Another clue that the PK shots against/minute ratio doesn't tell the whole story can be found by looking at the Sharks' PK for last year, which sucked, and for the 09-10 season, which was 85% and fifth-best in the league.

Season Sharks' PK Rank PK Minutes PK Shots Against PK Shots Against/Minute
10-11 24th 438 397 0.91
09-10 5th 529 478 0.90

 

Okay so...crap. So it looks like PK Shots Against/Minute is pretty worthless as an indicator of penalty killing success? So, uh, sorry for wasting everybody's time with all these tables.

Seriously though, it is interesting that the success of a penalty kill doesn't seem to be very strongly tied into how many shots on net it is allowing. How the heck are the Predators kicking butt on the PK, when they're allowing so many shots per minute?

Pekka_medium


GP MIN W L EGA GA GAA SA SV SV% SO
2011 - Pekka Rinne 16 930 9 4 34 2.19 504 470 .933 3

 

Oh, right. Yeah, it's probably this guy.

Hypothesis #2: Antti Niemi sucks, and it's all his fault.

Alright, maybe "sucks" is too harsh of a word. But since the number of shots against doesn't explain the Sharks' predictor PK performance, maybe it has something to do with goalies?

Pekka Rinne's .933 save percentage is 9th best in the league for goalies who have played at least six games. His play is a clearly a factor in Nashville's PK success. How's Niemi doing?


GP MIN W L EGA GA GAA SA SV SV% SO
2011 - Antti Niemi 10 547 6 2 25 2.74 257 232 .903 0

 

Hmmmm. That isn't that great.

Niemi is 30th in the league in save percentage (again, looking at goalies who have played at least six games).So is he to blame? Is hypothesis #2 correct?

It doesn't look like it. At least, it's not the whole story. Let's look at the past two seasons once again:

Season Sharks' PK Rank Starting Goalie SV%
10-11 24th .920 (13th best)
09-10 5th .922 (6th best)

 

So last season, when the Sharks' penalty kill was a problem all year, Niemi's save percentage was a solid .920, 13th best in the league.

In 09-10, when the Sharks' penalty kill was the 5th best in the league, Nabokov had a save percentage very slightly higher. Is that tiny difference the explanation for the huge swings in penalty killing success? Possibly - but it sure doesn't seem likely.

Since it looks like we can't attribute the success of a penalty kill very strongly to goalie performance either, we have to look elsewhere. What else was different about the Sharks' penalty kill back in 09-10, when it was so very very good?

Blake_and_malhotra_medium

Oh hey, Rob Blake and Manny Malhotra! I remember you guys!

Hypothesis #3: The Sharks miss Blake and Malhotra.

In the glorious PK year of 09-10, Rob Blake averaged 2:53 of short-handed ice time per game. Manny Malhotra averaged 2:06. Both of these averages would put these guys among the leaders in short-handed ice time for the Sharks this year.The last year the Sharks had a decent penalty kill was the last year these two played for the team.

So were these guys the magical difference? They were definitely part of it - but it's difficult to pinpoint exactly what they were doing out there that was so important. We've already shown that there wasn't a big change in the shots against on the penalty kill for the Sharks, so were Rob and Manny forcing the opposing team to take lower-quality shots? Or maybe they were jumping on rebounds and getting them away from the net (although not clearing the puck because that would reduce the PK shots against per minute)?

This is all pretty tough to measure statistically. The best place I can think to look is the Sharks goalies' save percentage while the team is on the PK. That looks like this:

Season Sharks' PK Rank Starting Goalie SV% while on PK
10-11 24th .875 (27th best*)
09-10 5th .898 (10th best*)

 

* = among goalies who played at least 20 games

Finally we see a bit stronger of a relationship between a stat and PK ranking! Success!

So what does this mean? Well since we have established that Niemi and Nabokov were pretty similar in terms of save percentage overall during these seasons, possible reasons for this discrepancy on the PK are:

A) The Sharks' PK was basically the same in 09-10 but Evgeni Nabokov is, for some reason, a better PK goalie than Niemi.

B) Something that the Sharks' PK was doing in 09-10, probably involving Blake and Malhotra, helped Nabby post a better save percentage than Niemi has done since then.

B seems like the more likely explanation. And if that's the case, then the solution is simple: you can either trade for Malhotra and lure Blake out of retirement or the coaches and players can try to replicate what those guys were doing in 09-10. The team's signing of Handzus was largely an attempt to address the PK problem - but thus far it doesn't seem to be working.

But of course there is another possible answer to all of this...

Hypothesis #4: It's all just bad luck.

Without question, save percentage and shooting percentage are largely influenced by luck. Therefore, the argument goes, if the Sharks continue to limit shots against while on the penalty kill, they'll be successful in the long run. There's no reason to worry about the PK because it will improve given time, since the team has good players and does well in basically every other aspect of play.

There is some merit to this argument...but I also find it lacking. At what point does "luck" become a trend which is symptomatic of a failing in a system? Is an 82 game season of a crappy PK just an example of "bad luck"? Should the coach and team and fans just not worry about it? And if this season the Sharks have a bad penalty kill all season long, just like last year, and they suffer because of it in the playoffs, just like last year, should they still simply stay the course?

Seriously, I'm asking you. These aren't rhetorical questions.

Prediction: Sharks win, 3-1. They get lucky and kill off a couple of penalties.

(This post was brought to you by the movie Frailty, my 67th-favorite film of all time. Go Paxton!)

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Comments

Display:

GO SHARKS!

I think it’ still too early to worry. They have been improving, so that’s encouraging. So let’s see if that continues.

I also want to point out that this needs to be put on the list of things not to do with a hockey stick.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Nov 17, 2011 7:45 AM PST reply actions  

On the sv% point...

While their stats don’t look too different overall, if you look at their stats on just the PK:

Rinne:
sv%: .935

Niemi:
sv%: .822

So, Rinne actually gets better when the team is a man down. Niemi on the other hand apparently begins crying in a corner because his sv% plummets off a cliff.

"Douglas Murray is a humongous human being." – Drew Remenda
Tweet Tweet

by Evilducks on Nov 17, 2011 8:05 AM PST reply actions  

BRAVO SIR!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 17, 2011 8:46 AM PST up reply actions  

bq.Seriously, I’m asking you. These aren’t rhetorical questions.

Hold up, first you give me legitimate statistical analysis and then you want legitimate feedback on said analysis?

WTF is this? When did I click onto Fear the Fin’s page?

"Its not so much me as it is Roenick, hes good" - Vince Vaughn

"Its not so much Kontos as it is me, I'm good." - Angryjay93

by angryjay93 on Nov 17, 2011 8:14 AM PST reply actions  

Seriously, I’m asking you. These aren’t rhetorical questions.

damn myself…

"Its not so much me as it is Roenick, hes good" - Vince Vaughn

"Its not so much Kontos as it is me, I'm good." - Angryjay93

by angryjay93 on Nov 17, 2011 8:15 AM PST reply actions  

but it’s difficult to pinpoint exactly what [Blake & Malhotra] were doing out there that was so important.

Clearly Doug Murray needs to start cross-checking people in the back.

And yeah, it’s just bad luck.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 8:39 AM PST reply actions  

You shouldn’t carry over last season’s numbers to this season, especially since you’ve added new parts to the penalty kill. So far, this season, you’ve been unlucky on the penalty kill. That luck may bounce back, it may not. Who knows! C’est la vie.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 11:17 AM PST up reply actions  

So can I officially say that we sucked last year then? Once a season is complete, is that when it stops being luck and you can look at it as an issue that the team should maybe address? Because a lot of the things the Sharks are doing correct on the penalty kill, as identified in that article you linked to, the team also did last season – and it didn’t work.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 11:51 AM PST up reply actions  

Solid Effort Meg

I will be sure to stay away from all ladders today and avoid stepping on sidewalk cracks.

by TnSD11 on Nov 17, 2011 9:47 AM PST reply actions  

Personally I can’t stand Niemi and would love to put all of the blame on him for the lack of a PK but as you pointed out that can’t be the entire reason. Although Niemi does give up enough “What the fuck was he doing?” goals to bring down the PK stat a little…

As for the why, I think its a combination of 3 of your 4 points. Bad luck affects it a little, we do miss Malhotra and Blake, and Niemi isn’t that great. I don’t think the shots per minute is a huge deal because shots is a misleading stat for penalties. I’d rather give them 10 low quality shots rather than 1 good scoring chance. Watching Pittsburgh and Nashvilles PKs I usually see them playing pretty conservative. they focus on not letting the other team set up a shot in the slot or a cross-ice pass for a one timer instead of focusing on the nubmer of shots they give up. They aren’t worried about letting a straight-on shot through to their goaltender because they trust him not to give up a huge rebound. But ultimately their PKs work so well because of the players they have in front of the goaltender. Michalek, Orpik, Suter, and Weber are some great shutdown defensemen to have in front of your net when you are a man down. Players like Michalek especially really shines on the PK

Speaking of misleading stats and probably not a huge deal, can you look at scoring chances allowed per minute on the PK? I looked around the internetz breifly but I didn’t find anything. Probably won’t give any clues on to why the PK is bad anyways, just curious if that is “a bit stronger of a relationship between a stat and PK ranking”

http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Nov 17, 2011 11:12 AM PST reply actions  

Speaking of misleading stats and probably not a huge deal, can you look at scoring chances allowed per minute on the PK?

Anyone have any idea where to find this? I’m pretty burnt out on stats after this post.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 11:52 AM PST up reply actions  

Check the fanposts.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:51 PM PST up reply actions  

Um, you do know Amway sponsors the San Jose Earthquakes, right?

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
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by Diamondback15 on Nov 17, 2011 5:05 PM PST up reply actions  

I read this and envisioned the Wings scoring thrice on the PP tonight. And then I was sad.

BTW, how is it that the Sharks are tied with the Islanders for the fewest games played this season so far? Heck, Ottawa, Chicago, and Vancouver have all got four games on the Sharks.

by RedOscar on Nov 17, 2011 11:46 AM PST reply actions  

Remember how we played game 1, and then it was 6 days until game 2? And how tonight’s game is after 4 days off? The Sharks have had a weird early season schedule with a lot of multi-day off days between games.

If that means that we will have more consistent play down the stretch into the playoffs because we’re playing regularly, great! If that means we’re exhausted from too many back-to-backs and not enough days off to recuperate, boo!

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 1:49 PM PST up reply actions  

All I know is that Nabby was total monster on the PK, whatever his faults were otherwise. He was almost always in position even if he didn’t look it and he had a major propensity for making highlight reel saves. Nemo looks like a floppy fish. I honestly think it’s just cause Nemo is a poor PKing goalie. I think it may have to do with the fact that Nabby liked to see all the shots and not have his D block them so much, whereas Nemo allows his D to block shots, but they usually end up in his way and making him miss saves that Nabby would have seen.

Can we trade for Nabokov and play him only during the PK?

(Also, who wants Malhotra for that horrid contract? Not me!)

by Kojo on Nov 17, 2011 12:15 PM PST reply actions  

I think I can understand how a goalie might be poor at breakaways or shootouts (like Nabby), or goalies that play better when the D gets out of the way so he can see the shots, but I don’t think I can wrap my mind around a good goaltender who happens to be bad on the PK. Isn’t that just a bad goalie?

Niemi is basically either autistically good, or pitiful. When he’s in one of his fugue states, he’ll stop everything, PK or no. I think all know what the other 55% of the time looks like.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 1:56 PM PST up reply actions  

but I don’t think I can wrap my mind around a good goaltender who happens to be bad on the PK. Isn’t that just a bad goalie?

Yeah. Nabokov’s penalty kill save percentage when he was on the Sharks:

09-10: .898
08-09: .854
07-08: .879
06-07: .863
05-06: .830

Niemi’s:
11-12: .822
10-11: .879
09-10: .899

They fluctuate between good and bad just like everyone else.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 2:04 PM PST up reply actions  

I still think this post should have been entirely Pax Facts.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 12:21 PM PST reply actions  

Pax Fact: If you read the very last item on the IMDB trivia page for Frailty, you can see that Bill Paxton’s original idea for the movie would have been much much worse. Apparently James Cameron saved this movie.

Here it is, but spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the movie.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 12:26 PM PST up reply actions  

Frailty’s awesome

For every moment of triumph, for every instance of beauty, many souls must be trampled.

by Nut on Nov 17, 2011 1:38 PM PST up reply actions  

It sure is. But if the movie had gone with Paxton’s original idea that would have been shit.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 1:49 PM PST up reply actions  

Thanks man

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 3:14 PM PST up reply actions  

-Hey man, you got a joint?

-Uh… no, not on me.

-It’d be a lot cooler if you did… *chuckles

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 3:19 PM PST up reply actions  

Matthew McConaughey in “Amistad.”

Keanu Reeves in “Dracula.”

Whose accent is worse?

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 3:24 PM PST up reply actions  

Kevin Costner in “Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves.”

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 3:29 PM PST up reply actions  

Sean Connery in The Hunt for Red October

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 3:32 PM PST up reply actions  

Don Cheedle, in the Oceans movies.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 3:37 PM PST up reply actions  

That accent was awesome, though. So was Connery’s.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 3:38 PM PST up reply actions  

Russian submarine commanders do tend to have Scottish accents.

The best part of that movie is when Alec Baldwin mimics something Connery said in his Scottish accent.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 3:45 PM PST up reply actions  

Mel Gibson in Braveheart.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
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by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 1:05 AM PST up reply actions  

Oof. Next time somebody says that “Breakfast at Tiffany’s” is one of their favorite movies, just say that you LOVE Mickey Rooney in it, especially how he disappeared into the role.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 3:36 PM PST up reply actions  

yea thats the standard right there

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 19, 2011 4:22 PM PST up reply actions  

Seriously?

That’s the stupidest idea ever.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 3:16 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah thank god they didn’t do that.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 3:17 PM PST up reply actions  

Pax Facts

Rudy, as a donor I demand a ’stache update. Visual. Pronto.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 6:22 PM PST up reply actions  

second!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 19, 2011 4:22 PM PST up reply actions  

Not going to happen. We should feel lucky he provided the first one, I suppose.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 19, 2011 5:59 PM PST up reply actions  

Lets gooo wings, streakiest team in nhl history

by lnickerson88 on Nov 17, 2011 12:24 PM PST via mobile reply actions  

Owen Nolan on Twitter:
it sucks i dont get @WFN alot of good fishing show on it.

#OwenNolanProblems

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 2:41 PM PST reply actions  

Does Owen Nolan have a license to carry? I bet he does.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 2:44 PM PST up reply actions  

No one knows, because everyone who ever asks him for his license gets shot in the face.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 2:46 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

He shoots deer with hockey pucks.

silent but deadly.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 1:06 AM PST up reply actions  

Hey I think that guy likes fishing.

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 2:55 PM PST up reply actions  

I could totally see Nolan being one of Huey Lewis’s fishing buddies in “Short Cuts.”

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 2:56 PM PST up reply actions  

I know it’s just a few keystrokes away, but I’m going to not satisfy my curiosity about what in the hell Bassmasters tweets about (bass, I presume, but still), and why anybody would follow them.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 2:55 PM PST up reply actions  

BassNation Tweets:

“Hey guys, just hanging out in the water. It’s cold.”

“Does anyone know a good spot for worms?”

“Hey, here’s a joke: how many bass does it take to screw in a li- OW MY MOUTH”

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 17, 2011 3:03 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Owen Nolan #BassNationProblems

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 3:05 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah

I know Bass Masters

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 3:18 PM PST up reply actions  

Ahem.

Fish Masters.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 4:58 PM PST up reply actions  

Hey does anybody need to be reminded why people don't like the Red Wings or their fans?

Read!

Here’s just a tiny peek:

When Marleau speaks of an advantage over Detroit, I want him gushing. I want it to be this glorious, lottery-winning, unbelievable miracle of a surprised tone. Something like, "Every day I wake up and thank Jesus that he’s let us play on a level required to beat Detroit. I know it won’t last, but holy mother of fuch it’s just this feeling…so beautiful…I’m sorry. I can’t. Thank you for letting me talk about it because…I can’t."

Not, "It’s Nice." That sounds pompous and arrogant. Wrong bitch. Wrong. One group of people in this relationship has the right to be pompous and that’s me and my friends and the team we love. Not you, not your fans, not your family.

Go fuch yourself.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 3:01 PM PST reply actions  

I want the Sharks to win 6-0. I want Murray to destroy people.

And when I get home from Karate I want to read all the therapy sessions and feed off their anger and depression. I want San Jose to let Detroit know we will never be afraid of them ever again, and to remind them that they are our bitch.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Nov 17, 2011 5:16 PM PST up reply actions  

Karate?

What are you, 8?

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:03 PM PST up reply actions  

meh, I'd rather elbow him in the neck or punch him in the throat.

If I wanted his death to be slow and painful I would kick him in the liver.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Nov 17, 2011 6:19 PM PST up reply actions  

pfft!

I’m a yellow belt bitch! I’d take you out like the trash!

booyakasha!

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:23 PM PST up reply actions  

I see what you did there.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:39 PM PST up reply actions  

Sorry.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 6:41 PM PST up reply actions  

This conversation about karate and 8 year olds reminds me

of this.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:44 PM PST up reply actions  

You won't be laughing when we are in our 80s, and you won't even be able to leave your house on your own and I'll still be able to hike, drive, play hockey and generally be in great shape.

Of course thats probably true right now.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Nov 17, 2011 6:06 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah and then you’ll be there to HIYA! the shit out of him.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 6:07 PM PST up reply actions  

What belt do you have?

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:12 PM PST up reply actions  

2nd green, testing for Purple on Tuesday.

I’ve been a green belt for like 3-4 years now because I keep getting injured, twice during my actual test, but unlike DiPietro I heal quickly.

I'm warning you! I have ADHD and I know how to use it!!!
Good job Giants, now win 3 more world series titles and then you just might be worthy of being mentioned in the same league as the A's.
THAT IS NABOKOV IN NET NOT NITTYMAKISHUTUP!!!!!!!!!!
San Jose: Being Kept save from ferocious enemies by the Sharks and Earthquakes since 91 and 96.

by Diamondback15 on Nov 17, 2011 6:18 PM PST up reply actions  

I’m so happy this conversation is happening.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 6:26 PM PST up reply actions  

Do Burnsie’s inflatable robotic sexpants have a belt?

This is not important.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 6:28 PM PST up reply actions  

I got my black belt when i was 10. I win!

by Khaaz on Nov 17, 2011 6:33 PM PST up reply actions  

if I've learned anything from the movies

all you have to do to get a black belt is wax a lot of cars and paint a house.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 6:35 PM PST up reply actions  

I have a black belt in my closet

Made of leather. SNAP!

I win.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 1:10 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Great Write up!

I’ve been waiting for something along the lines of this post for quite some time now. Glad someone attempted the challenge!

by Dermal Denticles on Nov 17, 2011 6:42 PM PST reply actions  

a failing in a system?

Be careful with this. Blaming “the system” might make some mistake you for a Kings fan, or maybe even an Occupy-er.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 6:43 PM PST reply actions  

It’s a problem with the system, man.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 6:55 PM PST up reply actions  

#occupyBoC

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 6:58 PM PST up reply actions  

Last couple seasons...

…Thornton has really gone into an extra gear against the Wings, especially goal-scoring-wise.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 8:58 PM PST reply actions  

Hey Diamondback I may need you to karate fight the dude over at KuklasKorner. Are you okay with that?

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 9:08 PM PST reply actions  

Their swagger...

…it leaves me shocked! Shocked, I say!

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 9:42 PM PST up reply actions  

Dude called you a boobie and can’t spell ellipsis. Fuck him.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 9:44 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Does nobody recognize a quality Jurassic Park reference anymore?

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 10:12 PM PST up reply actions  

I was trying to tell my students about Groundhog Day the other day and not one of them had seen it. They’re only like 6 years younger than me tops.

I was incredulous.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 10:19 PM PST up reply actions  

Do they not have TBS?

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 10:21 PM PST up reply actions  

Like half of them hadn’t even heard of it.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 10:28 PM PST up reply actions  

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 17, 2011 10:31 PM PST up reply actions  

Don’t drive angry!

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:32 PM PST up reply actions  

Yeah.

Like the Groundhog Phil.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 10:37 PM PST up reply actions  

They get all their moving pictures from the U-Tubes these days, I tell ’ya.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:31 PM PST up reply actions  

Thank you, Ned Ryerson.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:32 PM PST up reply actions  

Have you thought about life insurance?

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:33 PM PST up reply actions  

What kind of suicide clause?

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:34 PM PST up reply actions  

although

to be honest, I didn’t catch it at first. that’s a bit of an esoteric line and without Jeff Goldbloom speaking it, it’s not entirely recognizable.

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 10:42 PM PST up reply actions  

"I spent the whole morning vaccinating chickens..."

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 19, 2011 7:40 AM PST via iPhone app up reply actions  

Rusanowsky just said “Winchester Cathedral.”

Hahahahaha, fuck you Detroit.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 9:37 PM PST reply actions  

PICKLES!

http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Nov 17, 2011 9:53 PM PST reply actions  

Burns put it there, for “snake.”

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:10 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

PICKLESNAKE

i love this pic

http://5minutesformurder.blogspot.com

by 4Kills5 on Nov 17, 2011 10:21 PM PST up reply actions   1 recs

UGH! I’m at work ya know!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Nov 18, 2011 1:08 PM PST up reply actions  

???

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 18, 2011 1:35 PM PST up reply actions  

WIN!!!!

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Nov 17, 2011 9:54 PM PST reply actions  

When does Cobra Kai fight Diamondback15/PNK?

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 9:59 PM PST up reply actions  

Sweep the leg!

Proud member of the "Bring Back Semenov" Club
"The only crying allowed in hockey is when you lose a playoff series, retire or JR is speaking publicly." - Jamie Baker
"You are down with the homies, my friend." - Randy Hahn
Kent Huskins cares.
"Don't fart on my chair mutha fuckah!" - Randy Hahn
"Pavs with great feed but what a release by Wingels Peanut Butter Baby!"" - Jamie Baker

by PNK on Nov 17, 2011 10:20 PM PST up reply actions  

Do the fruity drum windmill thing from Part 2!

</peter cetera>

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:24 PM PST up reply actions  

Wax off!

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:33 PM PST up reply actions  

Release the Cracker!

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:37 PM PST up reply actions  

hadukon!

Niles: You'll see who feels foolish when I'm sitting on a mechanical bull sipping champagne.
www.battleofcali.com

by SPADE-IN-VICTORHELL on Nov 19, 2011 4:26 PM PST up reply actions  

Their descent back into irrelevance

The fun has begun?

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 10:41 PM PST up reply actions  

Why isn’t he getting down on his knees and thanking the Creator for bestowing his mercies on this lowly team of homosexuals and eunuchs for their unlikely victory over the most magnificent team of athletes the world has ever seen? I don’t understand.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 17, 2011 10:43 PM PST up reply actions  

From Amerinadian’s Game recap at WiiM:

But then the goal at the end of the first period happened and it was like finding a unicorn, only to have it kick you in the balls and then stampede your family.

Hahahahahahahahaha, fuck you, Detroit.

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 17, 2011 11:00 PM PST reply actions  

This wreaks of awesome. I approve.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 1:12 AM PST up reply actions  

I saw this and got so excited I blacked out.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 18, 2011 8:11 AM PST up reply actions  

He was born from clown folk, right?

“Hi, my name is Brent, son of Bingo and Twinkle”

Dinglebarnin' It JftC

by Niesy on Nov 18, 2011 8:34 AM PST up reply actions   1 recs

Is he wearing Crocs or red leather shoes?

The West Coast is the Best Coast.

by RudyKelly on Nov 18, 2011 9:19 AM PST up reply actions  

Special robot exercise shoes.

President of the Brent Burns Robotic Sex-Pants Fan Club.
Battle of California

by Megalodon on Nov 18, 2011 9:24 AM PST up reply actions  

What’s he holding behind his butt?

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 18, 2011 9:39 AM PST up reply actions  

The smart money is on some kind of animal.

Picklesnakebit since 2011.
@shampeon

by ievans on Nov 18, 2011 10:09 AM PST up reply actions  

A supersoaker!

Keep it real... Keep it fresh... Keep it real fresh ~SLNC
Picklesnake 2011-2012

by wtfbro? on Nov 18, 2011 11:27 AM PST up reply actions  

So it’s not an inflatable robotic #poop-catcher?

It is that thing that I sent to you.

by whine_country on Nov 18, 2011 1:34 PM PST up reply actions  

I still can't believe Meg's isn't on this like Donkey Kong

Slacker.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 5:58 AM PST via iPhone app reply actions  

He’s too busy staring at it.

GO SHARKS!
Ever get the feeling we are on a collision course with reality?
"They who would give up an essential liberty for temporary security, deserve neither liberty or security" -- Benjamin Franklin (see profile for more info on this quote)

by Angy on Nov 18, 2011 6:38 AM PST up reply actions  

That explains a lot.

Seriously.

"Never start a fight, but ALWAYS finish it."
@TheFourthPeriod How intense with the #Bruins #Habs PO series be? || @Noctro Like K-Y Jelly lit on fire. || @TheFourthPeriod Wow. Best. Answer. Ever.
"I still say McLellan needs to roll Pavelski, Marleau, and Stetoguchi together. No one would go NEAR that line."
My Twitter

by Noctro on Nov 18, 2011 5:09 PM PST up reply actions  

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