Maybe that's what hell is, the entire rest of eternity spent in Dallas.
The Stars are currently just ahead of the Sharks in the Pacific Division standings, which is nice because it gives everyone a chance to reuse all their same "are the Stars really this good?" articles from last season.
Those who think the Stars might actually be a good team this season can point to the team's red-hot start, their October record of 9-3, or how they won their first three games in November by a combined score of 17-10.
Those of us who believe the answer is "no, they're not very good at all" can point to the statistically-unlikely-to-continue shooting percentages of players like Eric Nystrom (currently shooting 25%, while his career average is 8.8%), the already-starting-to-fall-back-to-earth play of Kari Lethtonen, and the Stars' performance in their recent games against the Penguins, Wings, and Capitals in which they were outscored by a combined 14-3.
So maybe the Dallas Stars won't win the super-competitive Pacific Division this year. But make no mistake people - these aren't the lowly Red Wings. This team is dangerous. They've got several solid scoring threats, a resurgent defense, and a goalie who may finally be showing his true talent. This won't be an easy game.
Prediction: Sharks win 4-2, with two goals from Vlasic and one each from Couture and Clowe.
And now, some quotes from In Bruges, my 66th-favorite film of all time:
"A lot of midgets tend to kill themselves. A disproportionate amount, actually. Hervé Villechaize off of Fantasy Island. I think somebody from the Time Bandits did. I suppose they must get really sad about like... being really little and that... people looking at them, laughing at them, calling them names. You know, 'short arse'. There's another famous midget. I miss him but I can't remember. It's not the R2D2 man; no, he's still going."
"One gay beer for my gay friend, one normal beer for me because I am normal."
"Don't know any Belgium jokes, and if I did I think I'd have the good sense not to... hang on. Is Belgium with all those child abuse murders lately? I do know a Belgium joke. What's Belgium famous for? Chocolates and child abuse, and they only invented the chocolates to get to the kids."